Military Mind Control and Integration Process
2023 Mar 6 Odysee Fiona Barnett’s 2016 Seattle Conference Presentation [1]
Links
[1] 2023 Mar 6 Odysee Fiona Barnett’s 2016 Seattle conference presentation https://odysee.com/@FoxesAmazingChannel:8/fiona-barnetts-seattle-conference-presentation:a #fionabarnett
Transcript
0:00 hi I’m Fiona Barnett I’m going to talk about military mind control and the integration process I’m sharing the
0:08 content of a presentation that I gave in
0:13 Seattle last October it was a conference
0:18 on trauma and dissociation I also gave this presentation to a group of
0:26 therapists in Alaska and to some retired police officers who specialized in
0:33 ritual abuse it was well-received and
0:40 people asked me to record this information in some way to write a book
0:46 etc and I thought the best way that I can share it is through a YouTube
0:52 recording my first became inundated with contact from victims of various types of
1:00 child abuse after I attended a press conference in Sydney 14 months ago since
1:08 then I have been asked for information advice regarding how to integrate
1:17 following the dissociation that occurs when somebody has been severely
1:22 traumatized I can’t keep up with the
1:28 number of requests for assistance so it’s best that I share this information
1:37 in this YouTube presentation I went to
1:45 America not just to speak at a conference but to find some answers I went looking for some experts that we
1:52 could bring back to Australia to advise Australian therapists on how to treat
1:59 ritual abuse and mind control unfortunately what I found was that the
2:05 big names over there in American Canada are fakes it seems that the false memory
2:10 foundation successfully shut down all treatment and
2:18 even recognition of the true net causes of severe di D within the therapeutic
2:25 community and therapists are no longer trained in successful treatment methods
2:33 in fact what they tend to do is focus on
2:40 becoming familiar with a di D clients
2:45 different fractions or different personalities and the problem with that
2:50 is when you have a thousand personalities within a client that’s
2:57 going to take a lot of sessions to become familiar with those various
3:04 personalities and it’s counterproductive counter therapeutic and I found people
3:10 who had been in therapy for twenty years and they were no better off than when
3:16 they first started what this told me was
3:22 that therapists are absolutely clueless as to what they’re working with they
3:28 they have no idea and I had one therapist for example at the end of my
3:34 conference presentation she came out of the room furious at my talk and somebody
3:41 said to her what are you angry about and she said I’m so angry I’m so angry dee had found his talk she said I’m so angry
3:48 that no one has ever told me that information before and what I thought was a no-brainer was quite obvious
3:55 turned out to be unknown over there now
4:00 I found out my information not through my training I received formal training
4:07 in art psychotherapy and psychology and whatever and I can tell you now what
4:14 I’ve learned did not come from that training so it seems like in America two
4:20 people are not being trained in the correct model
4:25 when it comes to working with dissociative identity disorder I’m going
4:32 to talk about mind control and ritual abuse in Australia and how therapists
4:39 came to be so ineffective in treating victims who have gone through this and
4:45 the resultant dissociative identity disorder then I’ll talk about the
4:51 programming process that I experienced now really all programming is a
4:58 variation on a theme and it’s influenced by the individual victims imagination so
5:06 no two victims are ever going to be alike the other thing is that some
5:14 victims are abused on more homemade
5:21 equipment whereas others if they’re abused in a military environment are
5:26 abused using more sophisticated techniques and equipment but it’s you
5:34 have to remember that it’s all quite similar and the victim will always gain something or see something similar in
5:42 another victims story then I’m going to talk about the integration process how I
5:47 actually integrated so how I overcame the forced dissociation that I’m going
5:54 to talk briefly about the pros and cons of successful integration so to start
6:02 with let’s have a look at the history of MKULTRA and ritual abuse in Australia
6:10 MKULTRA is not a conspiracy theory it is provable fact the American Library of
6:18 Congress houses a report which resulted
6:24 from the 1977 Senate committee inquiry into MKULTRA and the unethical
6:32 experimentation on u.s. citizens similarly Australia hosted a number of
6:38 MKULTRA sub projects Sydney University for example conducted sub project number
6:45 84 in 1960 under dr. Martin on he was a CIA operative and the resultant
6:53 publication that you can look up and read yourself was called social control
6:58 in the psychological experiment antisocial behavior and hypnosis now there’s a number of sites around
7:04 Australia where victims were recruited from and where they were abused so a
7:11 primary place of experimentation was holes where the army base and next door
7:17 to holes with it was look as a Heights nuclear reactor these are underground facilities six seven stories deep and
7:24 joined by an underground tunnel Lucas Heights nuclear reactor was a scientific
7:29 research centre that’s where they manufacture the isotopes that were used in cognitive experimentation and other
7:37 types of experiments to do with MKULTRA the information gathered from holes worthy and Lucas Heights ended up at
7:43 Pine Gap which is a CIA deep underground facility situated in the desert in the
7:50 middle of Australia other facilities include various psychiatric hospitals
7:56 including johns furred private hospital that’s the most notorious that hit the news in the 80s
8:01 Chelmsford was the center of deep sleep programs which was similar to what you
8:09 and Cameron did over in America now dr. Harry Bailey was an associate of young
8:16 Cameron and he was CIA funded to conduct dreadful experiments on victims at
8:25 transferred hospital where he raped and electrocuted and murdered multiple
8:31 victims under the influence of heavy sedation he committed suicide after one
8:40 one of the victims tried to sue him and basically that victim is a friend of
8:47 mine and she only spent gosh a fortnight in the hospital and she came out with one leg
8:54 shrunken to almost half its normal size and with severe brain damage due to the
9:02 electric shocks that she received while she was drugged and it seems that she
9:08 was assaulted by Harry Bailey as well so that was her in a hospital
9:14 situated on sort of the northern side of Sydney other locations of abuse that I
9:22 experienced were fair Bain Air Force Base in Parliament House they’re located in Canberra now fair Bain Air Force Base
9:29 is where Air Force One flies into and I was assaulted in the back of a US military plane by former President
9:37 Richard Nixon I also was prostituted at a young age to Parliament House and to
9:45 paedophile orgies attended by former prime ministers including Gough Whitlam
9:51 and Bob Hawke now centers of recruitment in Australia include Freemason lodges
10:00 say the children of Freemasons Boys Town
10:05 Center’s and they have were centers run by the Catholic Church so you had anger
10:13 Dean Boystown was Australia’s first Boys Town and that’s a centre at which many kids were recruited for ritual abuse and
10:21 mind-control experiments and a lot of kids went in there and they would they weren’t missed and they were they never
10:27 came out again and that’s like had it at Inger Dean which is next door to the
10:32 suburb where you will find holds within Lucas Heights nuclear reactor so
10:38 Catholic churches are a very common recruitment ground for victims of ritual abuse of mind control and so are
10:45 Hillsong churches now the founder of Hillsong Frank Houston was outed as a
10:52 pedophile and once he was outed his church Christian Life Center splintered
11:00 and was renamed Hillsong Hillsong is has never been Christian it
11:05 is a child sex trafficking branch that’s all it is that’s all it ever will be and if you’re in Hillsong you really need to
11:12 leave if you think you’re a Christian every time a church plays any of Hell
11:18 songs rock music or you know even uses their copyrighted music to play in the
11:25 church band they are financing child sex trafficking and kiddie porn snuff film
11:32 making there they are financing the child sex trafficking industry and that that can’t
11:39 be debated one of my key perpetrators was dr. Leo Nesbitt ruscus he was a
11:45 Lithuanian Nazi position he was a good friend of my Lithuanian Nazi war
11:51 criminal grandmother Helen hallo Zack and her partner Peter hollers AK who
11:57 liked to kill Jews for a living in Lublin a death camp from the east side
12:02 of Poland Patricius and my grandparents all lived in the same suburb of Inga D
12:11 which is south of Sydney and that’s where Leonys actually worked at Inga
12:16 Deane medical center along with another perpetrator John Mel off and Mel off had
12:24 contacts with hulls were the army base and they also worked with the dr. grey but dr. grey was quite kind to me you
12:31 know I don’t really have anything negative to say about him a good friend of Leone’s Petraeus was antony Kidman
12:38 and they studied together at Sydney University at the same time entity Kidman is the father of Nicole Kidman
12:45 the actress and Tina Kidman was a psychologist and biochemist he trained
12:53 in mind control abuse techniques under John Gidding er the CIA psychologist and
13:00 he was probably the greatest psychologist that ever worked for the
13:07 CIA he was an absolute expert in personality and IQ and a genius when it came to
13:14 assessing children he was also a rampant pedophile all these men were pedophiles
13:19 Leona’s Petrarchan and antony Kidman were Luciferian priests high priests so
13:24 Petraeus was in charge of the in getting Boystown Lucifer and diocese and Anthony
13:31 Kidman was in charge of the Luciferian group that congregated at Sydney
13:38 University usually in the Great Hall at that University and that’s where they conducted Luciferian murders and rituals
13:44 you have to understand that Nazism was a
13:51 religion as well there was a religious cult that underpinned Nazism and at the
13:57 height of Nazism they actually conducted Luciferian rituals in the streets of
14:02 Germany in broad daylight as we know at
14:10 the end of World War two the Nazi scientists were granted asylum in Russia
14:16 America Brazil on the condition that they continued their work so under
14:23 paperclip in America the scientists went on to work for NASA on their rocket
14:31 technology etc and under the CIA and their funding they went to continue
14:39 their Nazi eugenics work and their experimentations on mind-control and
14:45 their super soldier project I understood it as the Jason project that was the
14:51 name that getting a referred to basically the Super Soldier project involved the military application of all
14:59 this technology to enhance the capabilities of a soldier so to enhance
15:06 their intellect I mean the best spy is
15:12 somebody doesn’t know they’re a spy so there they were using dissociation techniques to create this perfect spy
15:19 they were enhancing soldiers ability to go without sleep or to withstand pay
15:27 so this was the objective now an offshoot if that was the Pygmalion
15:33 project which is a gender reassignment project so changing the the gender of a
15:40 child in utero and this reminds me of this push for gender free toilets in
15:50 which children could be abused so there’s such an emphasis on on you know
15:56 trends gender people and their welfare and yet there’s no concern displayed by
16:04 the government for victims of international child sex trafficking in VIP pedophilia public denial of the
16:16 existence of ritual abuse and mind control in Australia was secured by the would Royal Commission this was a New
16:23 South Wales state royal commission that occurred in the mid 1990s and it was
16:31 overseen by royal commissioner James Wood who was a lawyer and would help to
16:41 establish the myth of false memory and the notion that the satanic panic was to
16:49 blame for multiple victims like myself coming out and saying hey there are
16:55 Luciferians conducting you know rituals and murders on children that they’ve
17:04 abducted and all bred for that purpose and that they are feeding victims into
17:12 these MKULTRA experiments so would
17:17 basically concluded in his report that these allegations which were multiple
17:23 and came from diverse sources were the result of attention seeking hysterical
17:28 women that that’s interesting because most of the victims that I’ve spoken to and the ones that have been reported in
17:34 mainstream media are men he said that they are the result of
17:40 over-enthusiastic therapists who like to implant false memories in their clients
17:47 this is just a lie also he depended for evidence to support
17:58 his conclusion on the lives of Elizabeth Loftus basically Commissioner wood
18:06 misrepresented Loftus book as scientific evidence there was no peer-reviewed
18:14 research to support Loftus as theories and you know the sorts of experiments
18:21 that were conducted later on to Sokol support her theories were experiments
18:30 involving say 30 young female psychology students who all came from the same
18:36 white middle-class background all attended the same class and they were
18:42 asked to imagine themselves falling through a plate-glass window and this the the outcome of these so-called
18:51 experiments was supposed to be compared to and generalized to a population of
19:00 the most traumatized child abuse victims spread across the world and it was just
19:08 ludicrous if any first-year psychology student tried to say that that was
19:13 scientific evidence they would fail it
19:21 makes sense that Commissioner James Wood would draw those conclusions considering
19:27 multiple victims have named him as a perpetrator to the current Australian
19:35 child abuse Royal Commission
19:41 justise woods was named by for example Dean Henry in his statement that he made
19:49 imprison to the current Royal Commission I know a number of other people who told
19:57 me about his antics and he actually adopted a Eurasian child who was
20:05 overdosed at the age of 14 after the child sex trafficking ring had finished
20:11 using her this man needs to be thoroughly investigated thanks to
20:19 Commissioner James Wood we have a situation in Australia where victims of
20:24 richly boosts and mind control and who suffer di D symptomology cannot access
20:32 appropriate and successful assessment and treatment methods all Australian
20:39 institutions have now been infiltrated by people who are either ignorant of
20:49 best practice or they are perpetrators of ritual abuse and mind-control and
20:59 they work for the child sex trafficking network you wouldn’t know this or unless
21:08 you had lived it and experienced it firsthand at these institutions so these institutions include universities and
21:16 hospitals mental health facilities you
21:22 know even private psychology and psychiatric clinics they’ve all been
21:27 infiltrated and you know them by their fruits you know them by their words and their
21:34 actions and so it may take some time to discover that an individual is being
21:44 deceitful in their relationship with clientele so Australian universities
21:51 generally take a strong anti victim Pro pedophilia approach
21:56 in their teachings they will emphasize elizabeth loftus
22:02 writings they will mock students who take a pro victim approach they will
22:12 mark them down in their assignments they will basically teach students the right
22:19 way to think which is anti victim Pro pedophilia through their marking through
22:24 their assessment and then if students don’t conform they will be failed or
22:29 there would just be targeted and set up for removal from not just the university
22:35 but from the industry from the health industries you have a great example in
22:43 bond University they very much push
22:49 Elizabeth Loftus as work and they have
22:55 lecturers who have published pro pedophilia material on the university’s
23:00 website he had for example professor Paul Wilson who wrote articles
23:06 supporting the notion that children are not harmed by child sexual abuse and
23:13 instead they are willing participants Paul Wilson was recently convicted of
23:20 child sexual abuse of a girl under the age of 12 and sentenced he has such a
23:29 long line of victims waiting up to prosecute him that he will spend the rest of his days in court or in prison
23:35 I’ve been told so this is an example of the type of lecturer that you have at
23:42 bond University but you also have them in other universities I mean Paul Wilson back in the 80s lectured at University
23:49 of Queensland and he showed the end of a kiddie porn snuff film to a class of
23:54 what became psychologists and I’ve spoken to one of those witnesses Paul
24:02 Wilson also tried to organize the conference at University of Queensland
24:07 which was supporting pedophilia and trying to make out that it was similar to the gay
24:17 lifestyle and should be socially acceptable you have these sorts of
24:22 lecturers at other universities in Melbourne and New South Wales and New South Wales University and in other
24:29 universities that have come out in the mainstream media even recently while the Royal Commission has been going on
24:35 there’s been a bit of mainstream media attention paid to to these sorts of people so generally mental health practitioners
24:44 in Australia are not trained in ritual abuse and mind control they instead
24:51 encourage to mock people who say they have experienced these things this type
24:58 of abuse and to diagnose them as psychotic or delusional you have
25:06 organizations that set the ethical standards for Australian health
25:12 practitioners they’ve been any sorts of treatment methods that might assist the clients such as the APS will be in
25:19 integration methods and they do that through their emphasis on Elizabeth
25:25 Loftus as work and false memory writings and telling psychologists that they must
25:32 never suggest that the client might have been abused you have a ban on techniques
25:43 that work for example within New South Wales victim services they been EMDR and this isn’t probably the most effective
25:50 method for dealing with trauma that the
25:55 person has naturally dissociated from because it was just too extreme or they
26:01 were forced to dissociate from the person was traumatized to induce
26:08 dissociation and EMDR is probably the most you know desirable technique to use
26:16 on those victims we do know how to do that in your South Wales if you’re a psychologist a psychiatrist you’re not
26:21 allowed to work with clients using that effective tool so instead of methods that work like in
26:31 dr MK ULTRA theory and abuse techniques
26:36 dominate mental health and i will discuss that in more depth later it’s
26:45 now I’m going to talk about the programming process as I said all mind
26:51 control is simply a variation on a basic theme everybody’s experience is a little
26:58 bit different it’s shaped by the child’s imagination and by the level of
27:07 sophistication and advanced technology
27:13 that’s been employed so where I might have been abused at fair bein on a you
27:22 know contraption that was designed to train pilots to withstand g-force
27:27 somebody else might have been tied to a homemade pig on a spit style implement
27:35 you know for spinning but the end result was the same we will both spun to help
27:42 split the brain and you know bring about dissociation and memory loss the most
27:54 important variable to understand when you’re working with military mind
28:00 control and high-enriched lab use is IQ this is the most basic characteristic
28:11 that a an abuser is looking for so when
28:16 it comes to MKULTRA and they were looking to enhance the natural abilities
28:23 of soldiers so a soldier’s natural cognitive ability how do we enhance that
28:29 how do we enhance their memory that sort of thing then what they’re what they’re going to be interested in is IQ
28:36 now people have extremely strong
28:43 misconceptions of IQ what it actually is and how legitimate these tests are
28:50 people have been basically brainwashed with false information and what you’ll
28:55 commonly hear from people is Oh what matters is EQ well no when you apply for
29:03 the army the first thing they do is IQ test you and the reason they’re doing
29:10 that is because they do not want someone with an IQ of 70 in charge of a tank so
29:16 the military understanding the importance of IQ and indeed that’s why these tests were first developed for
29:22 selecting people for various ranks in the military and now these IQ tests are
29:30 very accurate when I say they’re accurate I mean they are very good at
29:37 identifying people who have superior cognitive ability now that means that
29:45 they are intellectually intelligent or academically intelligent okay and just
29:53 as a child might inherit their parents
29:58 physical attributes their physical looks and their personality traits so – a
30:04 child inherits their parents brain structure and function so IQ is nothing
30:11 more than a person’s brain structure and function so if a person has higher IQ
30:20 what they actually have is a denser and more interconnected brain ok so
30:27 information is absorbed more quickly processed more quickly it travels around the brain more quickly and they react to
30:34 incoming stimuli and more quickly so if you puff someone’s eye with air they’re
30:42 going to close their eye now somebody who has higher IQ or a faster brain
30:49 going to react more quickly to that puff of air on their eye that’s why there’s a
30:56 perfect correlation between scores on a comprehensive measure of IQ and
31:03 someone’s reaction time speed okay their speed with which they you know react to
31:11 incoming stimuli such as you know a puff of air on an eye and also what you be
31:19 getting these days is there’s more cognitive scanning so people are using
31:26 you know functional MRIs and that sort of thing to examine someone’s brain and
31:32 what parts of their brain light up when they are performing cognitive tasks and
31:37 once again there’s a perfect correlation between scores on IQ tests and their performance or you know what is observed
31:47 on these objective scans so people who
31:53 score more highly on comprehensive IQ tests when they are observed performing
32:02 cognitive tasks through functional MRIs both sides of their brains light up
32:08 whereas somebody who’s just scores average on one of these IQ tests only
32:13 one side of their brain lights up when they’re performing that task so people
32:18 can laugh and poopoo and say oh oh everyone’s gifted and you know everyone’s gifted at something and people could be gifted at dancing and
32:25 all the sudden that’s not what we’re talking about yeah every child’s valuable and everyone’s good at something or they have potential in one
32:32 area more than others that’s not what we’re talking about and that’s not what the military is talking about and that’s
32:38 not kidding I was talking about all acting on so we have IQ measures and the
32:46 best measure of potentials so someone’s cognitive potential was the
32:52 stanford-binet LM and we’ve got a photo of that right here now the S be LM still
33:00 remains the best test of type there the revisions of this test and not as good
33:07 they just haven’t come up with anything that’s as as as good as this test but
33:13 also getting her would use this test but it would also employ mainly the block design from the Wechsler series because
33:20 the block design the you know the one with the little red and white blocks still remains the best measure of visual
33:28 spatial processing that is in existence now generally this stanford-binet LM
33:34 tests that we’re looking at here it was a fantastic measure of visual spatial processing so when you combine this test
33:42 with the Westlaw block design you’ve got a great measure of visual spatial processing and the reason for that is
33:48 because the most important type of IQ is
33:54 visual spatial IQ that’s what they’re most interested in when they’re looking for MKULTRA subjects the reason for this
34:01 is because visual spatial IQ is most
34:09 desirable when you are training someone to split when you are forcibly
34:15 dissociating their mind and I’ll talk about that a bit more now the other variable that’s very
34:21 important after IQ is creativity now creativity is not correlated with IQ
34:27 this means there’s no relationship between the two so which means there’s no guarantee that if someone has IQ that
34:34 they’re creative so when you’re looking for subjects for these military programs
34:40 you’re after IQ high IQ you’re after in particular high visual spatial
34:46 processing IQ and you’re after creativity so that narrows down the
34:51 group of kids that you got to choose from so the other variable that getting AI was looking for his intuition some
34:58 call it psychic ability now the Russians were very much into weaponizing psychic ability and this is well documented make
35:05 of that what you will then you’ve got psychological resilience is what they’re looking for they were also looking for
35:12 Aryan appearance so that’s the blue-eyed blonde kids they’re looking for a flawless physique
35:18 you’re not allowed to have one defect on you and that includes skin defects scars
35:23 anything like that and they were looking and testing for physical strength and
35:28 stamina so they put they put kids through comprehensive physical examination and test of endurance etc
35:37 put them on treadmills and they’re also looking for you know similarly they test
35:42 them for psychological resilience through the wall getting a made up a whole bunch of tests that were good for
35:48 that so this is the selection process that I went through now in terms of
35:54 intuition they preferred females for this they found that they were more had more of
36:01 what they are after so you make of that what you will
36:07 now I mentioned visuospatial IQ people can score say about 150 say on the
36:17 modern tests okay one person might score 150 and have a very high visuospatial IQ
36:25 measure and then there the other fluid reasoning will be much lower and then the other personal score the same on the
36:32 same test but they’re flawed reasoning would be very high and the visuospatial IQ will be very low so what that
36:37 indicates is and what these tests are great at identifying is which side of the brain is dominant which or you know
36:43 does the person have a visual spatial learning preference now it’s imperative
36:49 that the person be a visual spatial type
36:54 of child or visual spatial learner because this allows them to do a number
37:01 of things which in a more superior way then someone who is not and that allows
37:07 them to better think in pictures so what you might not realize is that some
37:13 people think in words and some people think in pictures so when you have a conversation with with a visual spatial
37:20 dominant person as you talk they will turn that speech into a movie in their
37:26 head and then they will that will be unforgettable in their
37:32 minds so they actually have a greater capacity or potential for photographic memory and this is very useful as we
37:40 will discuss later they have quicker reflexes because of their ability to visually scanned and process incoming
37:48 visual stimuli they think quickly under pressure they have fantastic hand-eye
37:53 coordination they’re able to synthesize seemingly unrelated pieces of information so they’re able to see
38:00 patterns amongst you know a whole bunch of info they have strong abstract
38:06 thinking ability they are able to read micro facial expressions and they are fantastic at foreign language
38:12 acquisition for more information go and see the world expert on this and that is Linda Silverman she’s got a whole bunch
38:18 of free information on her gifted Development Center site now when we talk
38:24 there about micro facial expressions this translates into a really good
38:30 ability to anticipate other people’s thoughts or reactions and they also a very good at lie detection so at
38:37 university there were classes in micro facial expression reading and all this other stuff well you don’t need to do
38:42 that if your high visual spatial IQ you naturally do that so when we consider
38:50 visual spacial IQ we can see how that
38:55 ability can translate into a number of useful skills within a military setting so people who are high on visual spatial
39:03 IQ a are usually better at code breaking research intelligence gathering driving
39:11 shooting a weapon architecture physics and computer programming it’s
39:17 interesting how Martin Bryant who supposedly achieved this phenomenal
39:25 headshot rate at the Port Arthur massacre he supposedly had an IQ of only
39:34 100 of only 60 when the average is 100 so that places him as in the mentally category
39:41 it’s just actually physically and statistically impossible for Martin Bryant to have done what authorities say
39:47 he did down there and perhaps the nurse who went around Australia’s saying that
39:53 she witnessed Navy SEALs come out of the ocean and gunned everyone down maybe there’s something to what she said MPD
40:05 or multiple personality disorder is a term that’s not really used anymore it’s now being replaced by D ID or
40:11 dissociative identity disorder MPD it’s it’s really a dirty word it implies that
40:19 somebody has multiple personalities and that they’re a raving lunatic and it’s
40:25 not an indication of of the truth di D
40:31 is simply where somebody’s natural ability to dissociate has been called
40:41 into play so somebody who may have a car
40:47 accident and they go through the front windscreen of the car they the brain has an unnatural shutdown mechanism so the
40:54 person doesn’t actually remember going through the windscreen they might remember before going through the
40:59 windscreen they might remember the ambulance ride or arriving at the hospital but they it’s just simply too much and it’s too overwhelming for the
41:07 person to remember going through the windscreen now this natural ability to dissociate during extreme trauma well
41:16 that’s the very thing that the Nazis were learning to manipulate now remember they had N equals 6 million subjects no
41:23 ethical committee to curb their their
41:29 behavior so in a very short amount of time they learn a lot about the human brain and this information has never
41:36 really been made public it was became military secrets and passed on to the
41:43 Russian and American military now I like to refer to forced Association so that’s
41:51 a an intentional manipulation of the brains natural ability to dissociate I
41:57 like to refer to it as trauma induced structured dissociation so it’s very intentional it’s very deliberate it’s
42:03 very well planned and it’s highly accurate now so I see it as best being
42:12 considered as memory and behavior compartmentalization so the brain if you
42:21 could take a look at it is actually physically compartmentalized so what
42:27 they do is they deliberately cut new neural pathways in the brain or they
42:32 deliberately close ones that pre-exists it ok now we can think a number of
42:40 modern Minds people who influenced
42:47 psychology and psychiatry for this information so in Russia you had Pavlov
42:54 who and who came up with his classical conditioning theory but beyond that
43:01 everyone else who’s a major name in modern psychology and behavioral
43:06 psychology really they were on the CIA payroll and they were contributing to
43:12 the MKULTRA body of knowledge so we can thank Seligman for his information on
43:20 trauma and learn helplessness Balby contributed attachment theory and Skinner contributed his information or
43:30 his knowledge of conditioning he expanded on Pavlov’s work so basically
43:36 we have this neural pathway creation and
43:41 closure and what that is is the physical
43:46 splitting of the brain as I said in the hemispheres so you can achieve a
43:52 splitting of the brain through various means so they use drugs and they use hypnosis and they use spinning a big
44:00 thing they did with spin kids and as a result you might have certain
44:07 symptoms like our conversions disorder or vestibular disorder or vestibular problems now to maintain those neural
44:14 pathways victims have to be realized continually otherwise those pathways
44:20 will naturally go back to their natural state and that’s why victims you will
44:26 see people will call them chip magnets but really it is very structured and
44:32 planned that members of the international trafficking network will
44:39 be employed to say moving next door to the person and continually harass them
44:44 or come into their lives or pretend to make friends with them and you know it’s very much like from the movie Total
44:51 Recall with Arnie Schwarzenegger where he had a friend who was there trying to
44:57 influence him to you know not take a certain path in life that might trigger
45:04 his memories of things that they had intentionally made him dissociate from
45:14 the best way to understand dissociation and integration is to think of the brain
45:21 as a computer and that’s what Jon getting here used to say to me the brain is like a computer and this
45:27 was when I was a little kitten didn’t know really know what a computer was and it was until the advent of you know pcs
45:32 that I could really understand what it was talking about but that’s what it’s like the brain is like a computer so if
45:41 the brain is like a computer dissociation can be viewed as a filing system the computer filing system so the
45:49 perpetrators create multiple files and occult ritual is performed at the
45:55 creation of each file so I remember it holds worthy and Lucas Heights them
46:01 doing things like I would be chanted at by you know scientists in in white
46:09 jackets and they would play on a synthesizer up and down the octave no
46:16 spirit no the spirit no the spirit no this spirit over and over and over and then they would chant at me different
46:24 things like cartoon based chants and
46:31 themes so Batman they would chant at me number six number six what do we have at
46:36 number six number six have has lots of tricks there are six spirits at number
46:42 six and so they would actually perform a ritual at their creation of each file and sort of chant the name of a an
46:52 ancient God or what you would call a pagan God or you know what Christians
46:58 would call it a demonic entity or you know a Nephilim whatever and now chant
47:04 that and that was supposed to cement through employment of like a spiritual
47:13 cement that was supposed to secure the program you know I don’t know why that
47:20 works but that’s what they believed so then a password or a trigger would be
47:26 attached to each file so that they were able to retrieve the file with just a word or a hand signal you know some
47:32 music and image so when when kids are programmed Walt Disney was a pedophile a
47:39 lot of his movies are MKULTRA programming tools so every time a child
47:47 watches Peter Pan or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty or Wizard of Oz or
47:52 whatever ask something like that that reinforces the programming and keeps
47:57 those neural pathways closed and open as they desire so we’re here we have the
48:10 structure of my programming this
48:15 structure is based on the Freemason Eastern star Antony Kidman created this
48:22 and it was flawed this is why my programming broke down
48:28 Anthony Kidman was murdered or told to
48:34 suicide when I reported him to the New
48:40 South Wales Health Board I wasn’t the only victim of his abuse that had reported him and the board
48:46 immediately acted on my report and he was dead within two months he died under
48:51 suspicious circumstances in Singapore after he had been placed on suicide
48:57 watch a member of Nicole caiman security team became a paparazzi and he still had
49:04 contacts with his mates on the security team and of course they blabbed and that
49:11 told various other journalists that you know Kidman was placed on suicide watch
49:17 immediately after my report to the Health Board so he filed and the penalty
49:24 for exposure and failure is death you know these pedophiles think they’re
49:29 untouchable and they live like they are and until they stuff up and then they
49:35 find out they’re mortal and dispensable so this programming I I honest to
49:42 goodness don’t understand this programming to me this doesn’t make sense I thought Anthony Kidman was a bit of an
49:49 idiot it wasn’t a genius like getting her and obviously this is why and where
49:55 it all broke down so you have the red of the pentagram and within that arm
50:03 contained experiences of murder and Luciferian ritual and orgies and
50:10 horrible you know terrible things that they did to kids in that in that hunt
50:17 behind that door and then you have behind the green door you had well I
50:24 suppose academic training and ability and enhanced abilities so I I did have
50:31 photographic memory I was like a human tape recorder and I lost that ability as
50:38 I integrated I still have superior Emory compared to the average person and
50:44 that was proven through cognitive testing a few years ago but nothing like
50:51 what it was and then behind another door you have for some reason hypnosis is on
50:58 its own I don’t understand why but there you’ve got me dressed as a candy girl now the door you’ve got drugs that must
51:05 be the programming that was caused through drug abuse and then another behind another door you have training
51:14 the soldier training I went through so I actually was put through full military training which I’ll just little talk
51:20 about a little bit more later now when I
51:27 integrated one of the last steps of my integration was being the gatekeeper in
51:34 the middle who had access to all these doors and it was the most remarkable experience of my life it was like being
51:42 in a matrix movie where Keanu Reeves I think was at the second movie where he’s he’s standing in the doorways in the
51:51 hallway which you know contained a
51:57 number of doors that led to various parts of the virtual reality programming and it was white but in my mind
52:03 everything was black yet I could and it was just like in a movie I could walk
52:10 and open all the doors up and I did open every door and I said this is what I saw I just drew what I saw and I saw all
52:15 these people come out so the mind is an absolutely phenomenal thing and no one
52:23 can really understand it we all pretend we know but we don’t its experiences
52:30 like these that make you realize there’s more to life and death than what we hear
52:35 about on TV you know there’s more to life than Kim Kardashian’s buck implants
52:45 so here is some examples of what they
52:50 did to bring about the dissociation process so the first steps
52:58 before they got to that pentagram structure was the implementation of
53:04 baldies theory of attachment so thanks to Balby here we have what they did to
53:12 me and this was to destroy my natural attachment to my mother and never mind
53:17 what people say and don’t worry about equal rights of the sexes it’s the mother that has the greatest influence
53:24 on the child and that’s why they target the mother in this attachment violation
53:30 process so these people they don’t care about term what’s politically correct they just care about what works so
53:37 mm-hmm they basically electrocuted me and
53:44 destroyed my natural affection for my mother and that was never really
53:50 repaired to be honest and then thanks to
53:56 those Skinner and and the like the
54:02 implementation of conditioning theory they paired mummy with vomiting so here
54:07 we have getting a feeling the epic hack until I vomited blood yeah it wasn’t
54:15 much fun either so I’m only about five when they did this and thanks to Seligman we have the
54:23 the learned helplessness theory being implemented and remember Seligman’s did
54:29 experiments with dogs on an electric grid and they electrocuted the dog until
54:36 the dog gave up and that’s what they’re bringing about they’re bringing about a
54:41 white whiting of the mind and blinging bringing it back to a blank state where
54:48 it is like a clean pallet ready to be brainwashed with whatever they want so
54:54 again you know I was electrocuted till I
55:03 just gave up and dissociated from the pain so after they destroyed my
55:13 natural attachment to my mother then I was reattached to a substitute mother in
55:21 this case it was Veronica or Ronny as I knew her and she was the grand dame of
55:27 my area you do hear fret spring Mayer in
55:33 his writings refer to the grand dame in the role of the grand dame and that’s
55:38 the only place I think I’ve ever seen anything like what I experienced in fact
55:44 there’s only two people whose works I’ve found useful in my life and that was Fritz bring Meijer work and there’s
55:51 another person called Carol ruts and she wrote a number of papers and tests to do
56:00 with ritual abuse or extreme trauma surveys and what they say in those
56:08 documents is consistent with my experience in Sydney so veronica was
56:15 based at Sydney University she lived in Sancta Sofia College and
56:22 she was in charge of the girls who studied and lived there
56:28 she was very high q– she was very refined she was my teacher and my
56:39 confidante and she supervised me and she mediated between men and the dirty filthy pedo men that dominated the well
56:51 the system people say what do you call it well we knew it as the order or the
56:59 family I was led to believe that these people were my real family instead of my
57:05 actual mother and this woman are
57:11 subjected me to child sexual abuse and so when I was 14 I was forced to from an
57:20 early age abuses you and but despite that she was
57:26 a genuine friend that I had she was a very nice person and she herself was a
57:33 victim who was forced into a perpetrators role and when I was 14 she
57:38 she chose to die she couldn’t take it anymore she couldn’t take what they did
57:44 to kids like me and she said I was the final straw and she just checked out
57:50 though the best way she knew and she used to call me her little anomaly so I
57:57 think I did have a big influence on her and her decision to check out so this is
58:07 another phase in the programming process the employment of virtual reality programming I was you know made to wear
58:18 virtual reality goggles this is at different ages this occurred I shove something in my right ear
58:24 in fact my right ear never recovered it was always had problems in ear aches in
58:29 that ear which I well remember and I was
58:36 made to watch horrendous scenes in fact
58:42 you know one time I found on YouTube the very video that I was made to watch when
58:48 I was a kid and I’ve never seen it since but it was the actual video that they used to play and someone uploaded it to
58:55 YouTube and it was just pictures of like war and nuclear bombs going off and dead
59:01 things and murders and horrendous rapes and tortures of animals and screaming bunnies and things like that it was
59:08 awful and and I think the the impact of
59:14 that and in that electric heat at the same time and that was to overwhelm me and you know to flood me with sensory
59:23 input so after they destroyed my
59:29 attachment to my mother and you know wiped my previous programming which comes from
59:36 general life and a fairly normal looking upbringing they replace that with other
59:43 things so sexual abuse was used to replace that which they destroyed and
59:53 loved there was a perversion of natural affection one of their virtual reality
1:00:04 programs was candy land and I actually saw the tape that they had and it had
1:00:10 disney copyright disney written on the tape and i don’t know how this happened
1:00:17 and as a kid i didn’t understand but i was able to walk through the program
1:00:23 with getting up were both able to participate in the program I mean I used to think God did they make a giant set
1:00:30 with all these you know giant candy canes and a castle and everything but I mean now as technology advances and the
1:00:40 mainstream public have access to this information that they had many decades
1:00:45 ago I can see no probably was virtual reality so once they’d stripped me of my
1:00:53 sense of self and who I had been raised as they have to replace that with ego so
1:01:03 your sense of self is replaced with pride in your genetics in your IQ in
1:01:10 your royal bloodline I was also a candidate for Grand Dean so I was actually raised to be a candidate for
1:01:18 taking Veronica’s place when she died so I asked cold things like the chosen one
1:01:25 royalty special year of the ruling class and you’ll see other victims when you swap stories with them you’ll they’ve
1:01:33 been told seem like crap as I said I was
1:01:39 put through full military training he’s included being made to say joke
1:01:47 hours until I went beyond the pain threshold and dissociated I’d have a dog
1:01:54 chasing me and I was told by Colonel Chen who was an Asian with an Asian
1:02:00 accent but in Australian military uniform he told me if I didn’t stop
1:02:05 running the dog would would get me and raped me and you know chew me up so of
1:02:10 course I ran and I went beyond the pain threshold and dissociated and you know
1:02:16 that’s where I went into a state of
1:02:21 floating it felt like I was floating and then I could go on forever I could just run and run and run till
1:02:28 maybe till I dropped dead I don’t know but I was exposed to sensory deprivation
1:02:34 as part of this training I was kept in a cavern for days I was kept in isolation
1:02:41 I was then paired with murdered with kids that were later murdered so I was
1:02:46 bonded with children and then they were brutally slaughtered in front of me and
1:02:52 this was all part of their training now this Colonel chained
1:02:58 he was accountable and anybody who knows anything about these Luciferian pedophiles will know that they are all
1:03:08 interconnected logo which supposedly was
1:03:13 devised through a competition so people that to come up with a competition
1:03:19 symbol or you know illustration and this was the Willing winning entrant ass load
1:03:25 of rubbish because I remember before that competition I remember Chen having a very sharp Asian style implement and
1:03:32 it looked like this was in this shape so that was their health battalion logo in the halls where the army so yeah so
1:03:43 after they did the basic programming they would bring me in for regular maintenance so whenever I went to my
1:03:49 grandparents place I was taken over to Hall’s worthy or whatever and one time
1:03:57 they had trouble with my heart they were saying they’re saying that my heart was
1:04:04 acting independently of my brain now they had control of my brain and they’d split that and they worked on that but
1:04:10 my heart was overriding my brain they said so basically they flatlined it to
1:04:19 bring it into submission now you can see with modern science publications that
1:04:25 they’re seeing now that the heart has what similar to brain cells in it so
1:04:33 that the heart can have memory so when people receive organ donation
1:04:40 they take on the memories and characteristics and preferences and
1:04:45 tastes etc of the donor and this is documented so when I watch duck you know
1:04:54 documentaries like that it reminds me of incidents like this and it makes more
1:05:00 sense of it so now I’m going to talk
1:05:07 about the integration process this is something that I have devised myself I
1:05:17 basically was my own therapist I people say how can you recommend a therapist I
1:05:23 can go to no I can’t I made this up myself I brought about my own integration with
1:05:30 the help of God and the odd bit of input from various therapists I was desperate
1:05:37 and I had no other choice I studied art psychotherapy and
1:05:42 psychology and read books and travelled to America to find books and look for
1:05:49 experts and I did a lot of this remember before the existence of the internet so I was very difficult in the in the early
1:05:54 days and I had to wait 20 years between the two phases of integration so the
1:06:04 first batch of integration was achieved many years ago in my
1:06:12 early twenties and the focus was mainly
1:06:17 on ritual abuse and those experiences and I was just getting to the military mind control stuff I remember doing a
1:06:24 drawing of being spun and this egg contraption I took it to my mother and she said oh that’s enough you don’t need to remember anymore and she didn’t mean
1:06:30 to shut me down she just thought it was too much and and I went oh okay and I
1:06:37 just didn’t work on it anymore and I never found a therapist that I could trust enough to open all that stuff with
1:06:44 and I would have I was functioning fine really just every now and then I’d get
1:06:50 some horrendous you know bursts of your mood like a mood swing or I was you know
1:06:57 I’d be rich Ramat eyes something would happen I’d be targeted again you’d find
1:07:02 dead chopped up animals on my lawn or something like that and that was enough to set me off so I was much more
1:07:08 vulnerable to that pre full integration than I would be today so I waited what
1:07:15 20 years before I came to a place where I could could finish off the military
1:07:22 stuff and deal with that as I said
1:07:29 Australia is a therapeutic wasteland there is no one that I can recommend
1:07:35 there is no clinic there’s no hospital these clinics that pretend to deal with
1:07:43 this sort of stuff don’t trust any of them I say to victims do not trust any
1:07:49 of them okay they’ve all been infiltrated as far as I
1:07:55 know and I hear stories from victims from all over now these various agencies that are pretending to be advocates for
1:08:03 child abuse victims and treating them and what-have-you I hope there’s not one I can recommend
1:08:09 I’m sorry to begin with the best way to
1:08:15 explain what helps integration is to outline what hinders it now the most
1:08:22 destructive tools that you can employ when we with the di D client is the very tools
1:08:30 or methods that we employed to cause the dissociation and trauma and abuse in the
1:08:36 first place so for example ECT I mean electrocution is only going to
1:08:43 stuff the memories back down again until they’ve volcano again to the surface at
1:08:48 a later date you know usually anniversary time drugs not drugs stuff
1:08:55 memories down again and they interfere with with memory recall and accuracy and
1:09:03 then hypnosis well hypnosis is so dangerous unethical
1:09:08 hypnosis is what’s used to bring about the dissociation and if you
1:09:17 firk about in there using hypnosis you have no idea what you’re doing unless you are an expert military trained
1:09:26 hypnotist who has access to the original codes that were implemented through
1:09:34 unethical hypnosis so if you don’t have the trigger codes you’re just going to
1:09:40 trigger the client to suicide also stay right away from biofeedback or
1:09:47 neurofeedback once again these techniques were employed to imbue to abused kids like me
1:09:53 it holds worthy and Lucas Heights nuclear reactor I know that some of the
1:10:02 programs that they use now I mean I was given a little bit of biofeedback and it triggered the hell out of me a couple of
1:10:09 years ago and the programs that they developed well the person who developed
1:10:16 program is a Russian neurologist who works at the same Pavlovian Institute
1:10:25 that you know Pavlov trained it in st.
1:10:30 Petersburg and the actual program that they created was full of Luciferian
1:10:39 symbols and images of blood dripped down walls and things like that so I thought it was more of a trigger
1:10:44 than a healing tool what else won’t help integration will neglect if your
1:10:52 therapist is providing one 50-minute session per week because 10 minutes of
1:10:57 that paid session have to be devoted to note-taking well they’re ripping you off and they’re actually not doing a service
1:11:03 at all because when therapy reaches a critical point they’re not going to be
1:11:09 available for you and really you can’t achieve much in 50 minutes
1:11:15 when you’re doing this kind of work with the di-did client you really need length
1:11:20 longer sessions and more of them find him empathy I had a lecture at Bond
1:11:27 University in the counseling psychology course used to say you can fake it to
1:11:33 you make it and I thought now you can’t hire cue victims can read my profile
1:11:38 expressions they’re going to detect feigned empathy very quickly you don’t
1:11:45 want to be working with a psychologist who is is proud and for egotistical
1:11:52 because that interferes with their objectivity and motivation and usually find those types of very jealous of the
1:11:58 hierarchy clients that come in and really want to destroy them rather than help them what else stops
1:12:05 integration is denial techniques so these include CBT which stems from learned helplessness and a CT which is
1:12:13 based on CBT cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance commitment therapy you don’t you don’t want to deal
1:12:20 with mindfulness which is stems from Buddhism Buddhism which is a
1:12:25 dissociative based religious cult and they employed associative techniques
1:12:32 like Transcendental Meditation astral travel that’s the last thing you want to be doing with a victim of ritual abuse
1:12:38 who was taught to astral travel as part of their ritual abuse and to dissociate
1:12:44 and positive thinking not helpful at all so mindfulness I mean you know these
1:12:52 techniques that they employ they teach you to be in the moment
1:12:57 and to really not look at your past so don’t look at your history of ritual
1:13:02 abuse and mind control let’s not look at all the murders and and let’s not accurately remember and illustrate the
1:13:11 VIP perpetrators of your abuse instead be in the moment okay
1:13:16 and it’s like trying to employ mind over matter and taking that approach is akin
1:13:23 to taking on a you know a battleship
1:13:28 with a pop gun it’s not gonna work it’s it’s like if somebody smashed up in a
1:13:34 car accident and they’re screaming and physical pain on the ground and screaming for you no drugs for pain
1:13:42 killers and you go up there and say you know just stay in the moment you know
1:13:48 don’t worry about it forget the past get on with life people don’t realize that the nervous system agony that victims go
1:13:57 through who have been subjected the sort of abuse that I have experienced that that nervous system pain manifest is
1:14:05 physical pain and it’s absolutely excruciating and it doesn’t help to employ these methods that are based on
1:14:14 positive thinking and forgetting the past and getting on with life so
1:14:20 positive thinking and techniques that akin to that they’re designed to stop
1:14:28 integration the worst experience I had
1:14:33 with a therapist was one that used to tell me – oh just go and find a good
1:14:40 book and listen to nice music you know when I was grappling with suicide
1:14:48 programming that was forced upon me it wasn’t my thoughts I wasn’t suicidal it
1:14:54 was weed you know as I was about to remember a horrific some horrific crime
1:15:03 or something that was forced to witness I would feel suicidal just you know
1:15:10 immediately leading up to that and the worst thing you can do is tell someone like that to just go read a good book
1:15:16 and put on some nice classical music is the last thing you want to do so just a
1:15:24 word on drugs the best advice I was ever given was from my friend’s dad who’s
1:15:31 retired pharmacist and it was a really good one and he said to me one time I said never take the newer drugs he said
1:15:38 you’d be lucky if the new drug has been tested on 10,000 subjects making you a human guinea pig stick to the old and
1:15:44 tried drugs now I did most of what I did drug-free I mean when I had kids I had
1:15:50 them without drugs and that means gas and I guess I’m my mum’s naturopath
1:15:56 she’s been a naturopath since I was seven so I’ve been raised in alternative medicine she was the nutritionist for a
1:16:06 state home midwifery association you know I was really raised in that whole
1:16:11 scene so I was very anti-drugs anti-everything Western medicine and for
1:16:18 good reason anyhow because I am hypersensitive to drugs I mean I couldn’t become a drug addict if I tried
1:16:25 I mean they pumped me with so many drugs when I was a child and I already had a
1:16:31 hypersensitive nervous system anyway due to being high IQ that you know I don’t
1:16:37 it doesn’t take much I’ve had severe reactions to some very basic drugs and so when I tried what did I have I had
1:16:45 some bolter or something and that was for anxiety or something ridiculous
1:16:50 anyway it triggered heart problems in me and I know that it triggers triggers
1:16:57 suicidal ideation and I know that’s when I started sort of grappling with sort of
1:17:04 suicidal ideation was after taking that cymbalta garbage and and it took two
1:17:09 months to win myself off it was horrendous valium was I mean there was
1:17:15 some times when the pain was so her that nothing touched valium didn’t even do anything but sometimes it could
1:17:23 provide a bit of immediate relief from trauma and flashbacks but of course you
1:17:30 can’t stay on it for more than two weeks not that I did I just have a little bit and I’d have stuff that was years old
1:17:36 actually and just gonna find it in the medical cabinet but the other thing that I found was sometimes helpful was bita
1:17:45 blockers so the old style beta blockers what’s it called inderal it did relieve
1:17:54 four heart symptoms during abreaction so when I relived a trauma I actually had
1:18:02 my heart react to it as though I was there so this was kind a bit of a
1:18:07 concern when the we went to abreact them flatlining my heart why we was you know
1:18:15 my therapist seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack and I could have sorry because I actually had had a
1:18:20 heart attack I had won it what was I 37 or something like that and I had no history family history of
1:18:30 that of heart problems and I had a very strong heart well John so in terms of desired
1:18:40 therapists qualities well it’d be nice if your therapist is higher Q because it
1:18:45 takes someone higher Q to be able to work with and really understand somebody’s hierarchy the only therapist
1:18:51 I’ve ever got anything out of really have been higher IQ themselves
1:18:56 giftedness expertise at least so that you don’t miss diagnose someone who’s
1:19:02 higher q with somebody who has I don’t
1:19:09 know you know Bhopal is it says on this book who will bipolar or have ADHD or OCD or
1:19:15 whatever and you don’t confuse in hierarchy with PTSD hyper vigilance or
1:19:20 narcissism or whatever people who are high IQ have certain types of
1:19:28 personalities and characteristics and behavior 10 chances that you will find a pretty
1:19:34 common to people in that IQ range and mm-hmm they they are often misdiagnosed
1:19:41 so they like I said they have sense type hypersensitive nervous systems and that
1:19:48 can be confused with a few different alternative mental health diagnoses so
1:19:54 you just have to know how to differentiate between those two
1:20:00 different situations it would be really nice to have our therapist who is
1:20:06 creative and intuitive because then they can go with the flow because like I said no two victims of ritual abuse in my
1:20:13 control are the same and it’s really good to differentiate the therapy for
1:20:19 people who hire quu because remember high IQ our victims are actually a
1:20:25 special needs population it’s like it’s school kids who are higher q were actually classed as special needs and
1:20:31 weekly is supposed to be catered for and you’re supposed to differentiate their curriculum so therefore you have to
1:20:36 differentiate the therapy that you supply these clients with and the
1:20:42 biggest problem that therapists make especially young ones is that they limit
1:20:47 reality to their own personal experience or what their lecturers taught them or what’s in their their textbooks I’ve yet
1:20:54 to see a textbook with any relevant information to the sorts of experiences
1:21:01 I’ve had in terms of what helps integration knowledge the victim can do
1:21:10 their own work they can become knowledgeable in the areas of psychology IQ biochemistry and neurology all this
1:21:18 helps if you can visualize because you’ll be a visual thinker if you can visualize what’s going on in your brain
1:21:25 when they abuse you and then what’s going on when they heal you then you
1:21:31 will have more confidence in the healing process it’s like when I had a stroke and it
1:21:40 turned out to be in the vestibular system and then I had this fan plastic physio who basically my goodness
1:21:50 she brought about a lot of healing in a six-week program now the reason why that
1:21:58 program worked is because I was confident that the brain was able to
1:22:05 heal I did vision therapy before that thinking the stroke was in the visual
1:22:12 cortex but it still led to a lot of healing I mean just after the stroke I
1:22:18 couldn’t stand on my right leg I couldn’t balance on my right foot and like I used to do acrobatics and all that sort of stuff so it wasn’t like I I
1:22:24 was unable to do that before but it and they said also the people who conducted
1:22:30 that therapy said look the reason you you did so well and made so much progress is because you believed in the
1:22:36 in the therapy and I believed it because I’ve read stuff about neurology and and
1:22:42 about neuroplasticity I believed in Europe plasticity so and all of that
1:22:48 information really helped me when it came to the integration process a number
1:22:54 of techniques helped me as well I I was in the first art soccer therapy intake
1:23:00 in Australia into the master’s program over in w-a and
1:23:05 you know after I don’t know almost a year of that I learnt as much as I
1:23:10 possibly could in and then I went off and I was dragged into trying to help
1:23:16 other people who had been through what I’ve been through basically and and I devised my own methods based on art
1:23:24 therapy for bypassing unethical hypnosis and accessing subconscious material that
1:23:29 was designed to never be accessed and all of that when it came to me doing MDR
1:23:35 which feels very similar to art therapy in the in the bra in the mind that
1:23:42 helped me you know my understanding and having having worked with other people I
1:23:48 understand that process so when it came to me doing it in my own head I was able to trust the process because it takes a
1:23:55 lot of trust you have to trust that you’re not just making this up when you’re remembering
1:24:02 things when you get flooding and flashbacks and things like that or when you’re just drawing things you have to
1:24:08 trust that this could be real because your brain tries very hard to shut it
1:24:15 down and to convince you that it’s not real because it’s too hard to think that it is real nobody wants to remember this
1:24:22 stuff techniques that are used throughout therapy writing with writing
1:24:29 I mean one of the most effective things that helped at one stage was my
1:24:35 therapist had me email her just for some I just housekeeping stuff like I’ll be
1:24:43 available for up Friday or whatever and then that turned into my goodness using
1:24:49 writing as an extension of therapy and I in the end I was emailing every day just writing and it was very important to me
1:24:55 that I thought that person was going to immediately receive that email do matter if at her end she hadn’t read it she
1:25:01 doesn’t read it for a day or two but in my head it it stopped me from going insane and it provided immediate relief
1:25:10 when I was really critical MDR is fantastic it is absolutely essential for
1:25:19 recovery and for memory recall and clarification I find the way I like to
1:25:28 do it was do have a session of EMDR because he aimed yes unlike hypnosis
1:25:34 it’s non suggestive and it’s up to the client to that your brain will just go
1:25:41 where it’s meant to and can cope with going at the time so what you do is you have MDR and you you’ll have a flashback
1:25:48 or something like that and then later on you’ll have maybe a fuzzy memory but if
1:25:54 you go and draw it at home afterwards it actually brings it to life and you
1:26:00 remember heaps more detail and then a technique is a pre action so which is
1:26:07 horrendous and that is basically feeling this feelings that you would dissociated from
1:26:12 at the time of abuse so you might have been seven when an incident occurred and if you go through MDR you will AB react
1:26:21 that feeling and you will feel it for the first time and you will feel the very royal feelings and that is just
1:26:27 absolutely horrendous and this is what you don’t want to experience and what the brain fights to prevent from
1:26:34 occurring so it’s very hard work integration bilateral stimulation well
1:26:43 because they split the brain you want to do things that stimulate integration between the hemispheres and swimming
1:26:51 does this freestyle swimming is fantastic and I look I ended up swimming
1:26:57 a kilometer a day five six seven days a week and I could so if I did MDR and
1:27:05 they went home did art therapy and then if I went swimming I had to go swimming after a session of MDR because it would
1:27:11 just gel everything and it would integrate the memories and calm my whole nervous system down and I it would just
1:27:19 I could feel it I could feel it working and also I could feel my heart
1:27:24 regenerating remember my brain needs to talk to me and my heart would talk to me
1:27:32 I realized what an amazing thing the human body is and how we have so much noise going on in our lives through
1:27:39 media and radio and you know conversation and traffic noise or
1:27:44 whatever that we don’t slow down and listen to our bodies and when I was forced to slow down and listen because I
1:27:51 kept very busy so I wouldn’t it listen because I didn’t want to hear what it had to say I found that it talked to me
1:27:57 so I would wake up one morning after a session and I remember going
1:28:03 hello brain and I remember starting to integrate and feeling I was in touch with my brain and that it was
1:28:09 integrating for the first time since I was five and I remember you know like I said when I was swimming I could my body
1:28:15 said to me your heart is regenerating so whatever damage had been done my heart I could feel it was strengthening
1:28:21 and yeah it was just such an unusual experience typing so when I wrote I
1:28:28 would type on a type of not very good at handwriting and that’s a bilateral
1:28:33 exercise so that encouraged integration and of course MDR is the bilateral
1:28:38 exercise and that’s why it works so when somebody does MDR with you they will swing a finger from left to right or
1:28:44 they’ll attack your left right left right hands or your thighs or whatever
1:28:51 they do don’t confuse MDR with hypnosis it’s not I know of one victim has been through
1:28:59 what I’ve been through and she freaked out and said I can’t do MDR no that’s like hypnosis I said yeah that’s what I
1:29:04 thought that’s why I avoided it but it’s not nothing like hypnosis a little bit
1:29:10 like it but then what else fostered
1:29:15 integration in me was my personal attributes so obviously tenacious diligent my tic youlet I have you know
1:29:22 high cognitive ability and I have faith I have faith in a higher power I am a born-again Christian I am not affiliated
1:29:30 with any Church I think they’re all child trafficking covers you know I’m into Bible based fundamental Christian
1:29:40 beliefs and and that’s what’s carried me
1:29:46 through luciferianism is spiritual it is evil and dark and Christianity as in
1:29:54 biblical Christianity is the antithesis of luciferianism and I believe it is a
1:30:00 source of higher strength and power and authority than what my abusers indulged
1:30:07 in so it was an example of what
1:30:17 therapists have done and you are when they’re working with high IQ victims
1:30:22 this is how it manifested in therapy for me so this is just a little excerpt from
1:30:29 an email that I sent my therapist you know it basically documented oh my gosh
1:30:34 18 month of therapy and integration based on the military abuse and we were talking about
1:30:44 alpha waves because I had had some brain scans done in old brain readings and
1:30:51 what showed up was that I had unusual alpha wave activity so I went home and
1:30:56 honestly I studied that 15 minutes when bang bang banging this is what I’m talking about it ability to research and flick through the internet and whatever
1:31:02 and this was my response now I studied a little bit of neuro and that’d mean everything at uni but I didn’t remember
1:31:09 anything much about alpha beta Delta gamma waves or you know sleep States or these sort of stuff I thought I couldn’t
1:31:15 remember any of that because I wasn’t interested in it back then so when I had to pay attention this
1:31:20 is what I can learn in 15 minutes so I said okay bearing in mind I know absolutely nothing and I studied this
1:31:26 for a whole 15 minutes I noticed an article in which the research argues that alpha waves regulate the shift of
1:31:32 attention between external and internal inputs and that alpha waves increase in power when we shift our consciousness of
1:31:38 the external world to internal thoughts the article considers where the boosting alpha waves subliminally shifts a person
1:31:45 into an altered state of consciousness reading this I immediately thought of the claim that the creation of different
1:31:50 alter states involves inducing different brainwave states via flashing lights etc
1:31:56 all this made me wonder with my brain waves consequently change with the emergence of each altered state I then
1:32:03 wondered whether my abnormal alpha activity somehow relates to my constantly shifting between different
1:32:08 states of consciousness that is between different alters so basically if you
1:32:18 can’t keep up with a client who is able to you know process that sort of
1:32:25 information and come to that conclusion in 15 minutes I don’t think you should
1:32:31 take these sorts of clients on you know you’re only going to label them as weird
1:32:36 or you’re going to feel threatened by them a main feature of my recovery
1:32:45 during the second and phase of integration so 18 months of full-on therapy we’re just I just had
1:32:53 flashbacks for 18 months it was horrendous I was Co conscious during this process so I never lost consciousness so I know
1:33:00 a lot of other people will go into therapy and the therapist will have to record the session because the client
1:33:05 comes out and they don’t even ever what just happened and they will switch between different alter states and talk
1:33:11 in a different voice and what-have-you and then come back and they won’t know what they just said to the therapist now
1:33:17 I never had anything like that I have since realized and found out that when
1:33:25 people have been abused and the methods
1:33:32 employed are very sophisticated and you know they’re it’s a military application of these methods it is seamless
1:33:40 transition between the different alter states is seamless and it’s undetectable
1:33:45 so people might have thought I was a little bit unusual as a person I was a
1:33:51 bit you know eccentric or what-have-you but they would not have realized what
1:33:57 was going on I certainly wasn’t you know shifting like something out of the movie
1:34:03 Sybil and this the fact that I was Co conscious during integration was it has
1:34:09 enabled me to observe my own therapy and document it and that’s what enables me
1:34:16 to to articulate what happened so easily now the most disturbing thing I
1:34:27 encountered in America was a group of victims who when we’re not making
1:34:35 progress in therapy and some had been in therapy for 20-plus years some were high functioning and articulate and they
1:34:42 would say to me what I’m trying I want to heal I want to get well I’ve tried so
1:34:48 hard I’m not getting anywhere so I had to think about it and I observed and I
1:34:53 realized what the problem was therapists over there seem to be following the
1:34:59 wrong tree model they are focusing on the symptoms instead of the cause of the dissociation
1:35:07 so therapists seem to be focusing on getting to know the multiple
1:35:15 personalities or identities of fragments or alters whatever you want to call them within a DI dia client and finding out
1:35:23 their name and their likes and you know their role and well that sort of thing and ice noticed quite a number of
1:35:31 victims referring to themselves as we are we did this and we did that and and
1:35:39 that’s something I I suppose I’m naturally shied from I never referred to myself as we I always thought of myself
1:35:47 as I and spoke with I when I referred to
1:35:52 myself I remember watching a documentary years ago I think her name was Trudy and
1:35:57 she was a famous MPT client and she turns up to a doctor’s house one night
1:36:02 with a t-shirt that read two-four-six-eight we refused to integrate because the therapist was
1:36:09 trying to bring about integration and then she chose not to and I remember
1:36:16 thinking when I was young what an idiot no that is stupid you want to integrate
1:36:22 that’s the goal and I’ll talk about why that’s the goal later on but I find it
1:36:29 very unhealthy to talk in terms of we
1:36:35 instead of I I think that that fosters dissociation when what you want is
1:36:41 integration and I can understand why people sometimes would do that and you
1:36:46 know maybe there’s a place for that at at times and less you know maybe victims at times should feel free to express a
1:36:54 little bit of that fragmentation but I wouldn’t entertain it the way therapists
1:37:00 do some therapists seem to be titillated by the the di D clients you know
1:37:08 multiple personalities and then the client stays in that that situation
1:37:13 instead what therapists need to do is is focus on the cause and not the symptoms
1:37:20 you know focus on identifying and processing through remembering and not
1:37:25 reacting the trauma that caused the dissociation in that in the first time in in the first place and by doing that
1:37:34 if you if you identify and process an individual trauma that caused
1:37:40 dissociation you may be actually targeting for integration 300 alters or
1:37:47 fragments so basically if you process the trauma that led to the fragmentation
1:37:56 then all those alters or personalities or what everyone call them associated
1:38:01 with that trauma that came about as a result of that trauma will naturally integrate and disappear so you don’t get
1:38:07 need to get to know them in their names and their roles and what-have-you
1:38:13 another thing is therapists tend to shy
1:38:19 from anything that triggers the client and they seem to tread on eggshells
1:38:24 around triggers oh no you know don’t go there because it triggers the client well I take the opposite approach I
1:38:32 believe that the trigger is the key to identifying the trauma so I believe in
1:38:42 you know pushing through that trigger embrace it and go with it and find out
1:38:48 what’s behind that trigger usually it’s it’s the trauma incident but cause the
1:38:54 problem in the first place and you’ll no longer be triggered by it if you just deal with it okay don’t shy
1:39:01 from triggers one of the victims I have
1:39:10 spoken with said that she was having trouble locating her core personality
1:39:15 and said you know my therapist and I we’ve gone looking with search for ages
1:39:21 we can’t find my core personality you know what do I do well
1:39:27 about it and your core personality is is there it’s the person you were before
1:39:34 you’re abused it’s your original name it’s it’s who
1:39:40 you were referred to as it as a child the name that you abuses first new us
1:39:45 you don’t have to go looking for it and find its name it is you and it’s the
1:39:51 person who is there when the victims not being triggered and those other
1:39:58 fragments that come into play once they triggered it’s the person who’s there
1:40:06 when they’re not in a fetal position in the corner of a room or that usually you
1:40:12 find with with the victim you know although they may go through extreme
1:40:17 mood swings and and you may be it’s like talking to 50 different people there’s
1:40:22 always someone there at the core no matter how dysfunctional they are if you
1:40:28 get to know the person well enough there’s always someone there that sounds pretty reasonable not too intellectual
1:40:34 because you know someone who’s highly and intellectual and that that could be
1:40:40 a defense mechanism kicking in I’m talking about there’s you can usually find the core person there and and when
1:40:50 various fragments are integrated they are absorbed into the person’s original
1:40:58 core personality the victims brain works
1:41:05 overtime not to try and recall the details of our abuse but to the victims
1:41:13 brain works overtime not to recall details of abuse but to forget them and
1:41:21 we’ll do anything to distract ourselves from focusing on anything that will
1:41:27 remind us of what happened so we will become workaholics we will play music
1:41:35 jump from activity to activity never be alone always want to have noise
1:41:43 in the background or company and a lot of victims will panic if they’re on
1:41:49 their own because the memories will just come up by themselves and so we work
1:41:54 very hard to keep those memories at bay and some victims will self-medicate with
1:42:04 drugs and alcohol to stop themselves from from remembering it’s very easy to
1:42:12 bring up memories it doesn’t take a lot the biggest barrier to recalling detail
1:42:20 is the victims own mind and of course the perpetrators have put measures in
1:42:29 place to prevent us from looking at our
1:42:35 own material never mind starting to work on it but just from even going there I
1:42:42 was very keen to recall my abuse I am
1:42:47 the type that likes to rip a band-aid off in one go and so I flogged myself to
1:42:56 the horror of my therapist but I suppose
1:43:01 I’m more able to tolerate a greater
1:43:08 workload then other victims it seems I’ve since met victims who just won’t
1:43:15 even go there at all but for some reason I I can’t relate to that I in my mind I
1:43:21 go why wouldn’t you want to remember why wouldn’t you just want to get it over and done with and get it out of the way
1:43:26 I’ve got siblings who won’t even go there you have to remember that I’m I’m the oldest of seven kids and most of my
1:43:34 siblings were abused by the same people in Sydney and they have varying degrees
1:43:40 of memories and willingness to talk about it all police phoned one of my
1:43:46 brothers and asked what he knew about it all he says yeah it’s all true but yeah I don’t
1:43:53 remember a lot because he said what I work very hard to not remember I I don’t
1:43:59 want to remember so like I say I’m I’m
1:44:05 different I do encourage integration I do encourage people to work hard at
1:44:11 remembering detail because it’s the first step in a number of steps that
1:44:17 I’ve identified from having worked through this there are some clear steps that I was able to identify that steps
1:44:26 of victims need to take in order to recover so the first step is remembering
1:44:32 and unfortunately this is very difficult because of therapists are not allowed to
1:44:40 suggest to victims that they might have been abused or you know might have been
1:44:48 abused in a certain way or that they’re exhibiting signs that you know something
1:44:54 happened to them that maybe the therapist is seen in 45 other clients you know let us say that and because
1:45:02 that would be the first step in in supposedly planting false memories in
1:45:07 the client and this is all a lie there’s no way you can put into a victims mind
1:45:13 something that wasn’t placed there by the perpetrators in the first place that that’s that’s a lie of the false
1:45:20 memory foundation pedophiles and they’ve been very successful at circulating that
1:45:27 lie all around the Western world so what victims need is to be triggered
1:45:34 people shun from being triggered to remember but that’s the one thing that
1:45:40 is needed that’s how you remember is by being triggered and you have to push
1:45:47 through that trigger so something will start to come up and you you know victim
1:45:55 will be bothered by it could be a color or it could be words to it too
1:46:01 – a song that’ll be playing over and over again in their head and where that doesn’t normally happen or there will be
1:46:09 just an image of some kind of terrible thing that could happen to a person and they’ll just be find yourself in your
1:46:17 mind you you’re being bothered by a certain type of torture or certain act against somebody and that’s a clue that
1:46:25 something is coming to the circuit surfaces volcano into the surface and what you have to do is work on that so
1:46:33 you have to remember what happened it’s very important and then you have to
1:46:39 articulate what happens you have to be very clear about what happens you have
1:46:46 to be able to speak it because that is just part of the process of purging the
1:46:52 past you have to be able to then have react it so it’s not enough to remember
1:46:59 and talk about it you have to feel the feelings unfortunately and those feelings when you begin to AB react the
1:47:05 feelings you may be feeling those feelings for the very first time since
1:47:10 you were I’m know five or ten or what have you because if they’ve used
1:47:15 unethical means to force a state of dissociation in the victim then that
1:47:23 pain that the victim experienced while they were going through the forced
1:47:30 dissociation process has been put on hold that’s been put on delay so when those
1:47:35 neural pathways connect again and that’s what remembering is its when neural
1:47:41 pathways that were purposely severed or blocked when they reconnect then those
1:47:49 feelings are going to reconnect and so you might feel that for the first time
1:47:55 and believe me it’s as strong as the very first time that you experienced the
1:48:00 torture when you were five or ten or you know whatever so there the three steps
1:48:06 remember articulate up react and you’ll repeat those over and over and over and
1:48:12 over night and I that’s what I had to go through was was for 18 months over and over
1:48:20 remember articulate abreact then after I sort of got through the bulk of the
1:48:28 really bad stuff and I found that kind of work backwards to the worst things
1:48:33 that occurred so I actually worked back to the two worst things so one was what
1:48:42 I showed you about Kidman’s doorways
1:48:47 that were created so that was probably the second last major thing that I had to work on but then I was working back
1:48:54 to the attachment violation that occurred in the first place with getting
1:48:59 up so that was the last thing I had to major thing that I had to remember in order to achieve integration so after I
1:49:09 remembered articulated I’ve reacted over and over repeatedly in a cycle then I
1:49:15 was able to sever the attachment to my
1:49:21 abusers mainly getting up and dealed the attachment violation and after that
1:49:27 there was another step and it was closing the portal to my past I can’t describe that very well I think maybe it
1:49:34 it’s a bit of a a spiritual thing that occurred I just remember when I was
1:49:41 dealing with all this stuff for 18 months it’s like a vortex to my past had been opened and and it allowed access to
1:49:48 my past and it allowed me to feel everything but at the same time as
1:49:54 horrendous I was being bombarded and flooded with with with you know emotion and memories and flashbacks and all that
1:50:00 sort of stuff well that had to be closed at some stage I couldn’t I couldn’t cope
1:50:05 with it anymore and I remember just praying just going on I’ve had enough I can’t do this anymore you’ve got to shut
1:50:11 this down and I woke up the next day and I remember very clearly just seeing a
1:50:18 picture in my head of a very thin veil of skin just forming over a big jagged
1:50:26 wound like a gaping wound and I remember thinking arts clothes because all of that shut down at the one time all of
1:50:33 that emotion and nightmare had been going through for 18 months it shut down
1:50:38 so it was like that portal to my past was was closed it had been open for 18
1:50:44 months to allow me access to everything and then it closed that’s the best I can do to describe what I went through
1:50:53 people have asked me how can they identify when their therapy is working
1:50:58 well if you have an achieved integration yet a good telltale sign as you working
1:51:06 towards integration is that when you you triggered and memory is coming up to the
1:51:13 surface if it’s correctly processed if that memory is correctly processed it
1:51:19 will never bother you again that means that all the suicidal ideation or
1:51:26 feelings of self-harm that or you know anxiety depression what-have-you
1:51:33 associated with that memory and that tends to be there as the memories come at surface that will permanently
1:51:40 disappear okay so how to tell when therapy is working when a memory is
1:51:47 properly processed through remembering it and feeling the feelings and
1:51:52 articulating it etc and then if you do that properly I can promise you that
1:51:59 memory will never ever raise its head again it will just fade into the past
1:52:06 and something to know is that when a memory is being processed it it is very
1:52:12 vivid at the start and that first time that you process it in therapy will be
1:52:18 the clearest it will ever be it may clarify more as you do out therapy
1:52:24 following MDR or whatever you used to to process the memory but eventually it
1:52:31 does fade and it becomes sort of more difficult to to recall the details
1:52:42 it’s very important that the therapist knows what they’re working with before
1:52:49 they commit to working with a client because once you open that portal to the
1:52:56 past once you deal with this staff start dealing with it the client boards a
1:53:04 rollercoaster and like a psychological roller coaster and they can’t get off
1:53:11 until that rides finished the only options they’ve got partway through are
1:53:17 to you know stick with the ride until its completion or to jump halfway and so
1:53:25 the therapists shouldn’t go about opening up these wounds unless they are
1:53:31 confident that they can stick to it now therapists can be quite pathetic they
1:53:37 can think of all sorts of excuses to leave part way through and you know they
1:53:44 can justified according to the ethical code and say oh I was I felt threatened or you know the client I don’t know
1:53:52 broke some boundaries overstep boundaries etc etc that’s that’s not the sort of therapist you want to work with
1:53:58 you don’t want someone who’s frightened or cares what people think about them too much or you know who’s in it for the
1:54:06 wrong reasons that’s what will lead to or a therapist who themselves to have
1:54:13 the same background and all these triggers their own background which I’ll just go into detail but the therapist
1:54:21 must commit to completing the integration process before they before they start otherwise just you know refer
1:54:28 the client on it’s best that they don’t start at all then have the client commit
1:54:34 suicide partway through it’s a part of deciding whether or not a therapist is
1:54:41 willing and able to commit to the therapeutic relationship with a client
1:54:46 like this is knowing the potential risks
1:54:51 involved for the therapist so one of the major it says vicarious trauma it is horrendous to sit
1:55:00 there and watch a client relive their childhood for the first time and that is
1:55:10 something that the therapist must be emotionally prepared to tolerate another
1:55:17 thing that I just mentioned before was there’s the risk of that the client and
1:55:24 what they’ve been through and the detail that they come up with might trigger the therapist own di D because therapists
1:55:31 are not trained in this at university they this might be the first time that
1:55:38 they come up against this type of material rich rich lab user mind control and the therapist might be a very
1:55:44 high-functioning victim themselves and have coped very considerably well in
1:55:51 society and there’s no science to them or anyone else and then suddenly they will start to be triggered tuned and
1:55:58 then what happens is they’ll become defensive and they’ll take it out on the client they’ll blame the client instead
1:56:04 of looking at their own staff and I know because I’ve had this happen with certain therapists and I had one
1:56:11 therapist who ended up suicidal by the end and I end up having to manage my own
1:56:19 situation and prepare I was trying to manage theirs as well which I think I
1:56:25 did quite effectively but people would not know and that person’s in a position of power and they will misuse that
1:56:33 against the client if it comes to a choice between the clients welfare and
1:56:41 and them avoiding pain so another risk
1:56:46 is harassment from the clients perpetrators this is the main reason why
1:56:52 therapists who have worked in this area shut up shop I did a study many years
1:56:58 ago when I was at uni on therapists who specialize in this area and the death
1:57:05 threats of and the harassment to their family I mean these you got to think these people are very powerful this involves the CIA
1:57:13 and Asia oh and Australian Prime Minister’s and police commissioners and
1:57:19 they have the means to shut down anybody and that’s why if a therapist is going to work in this area I would never
1:57:25 advertise it you don’t tell anyone you just keep it very client very quiet that
1:57:30 you’re working with this demographic and I mean those people won’t stay in it for
1:57:36 very long then they might do one client go up I’m never doing this again you tend to find it’s genuine Christian
1:57:44 therapists who cope the best because they feel that they have a higher sense
1:57:53 of meaning to the work they’re doing and that there’s a higher source of power
1:57:58 than the people that have abused their client and these people seem to have
1:58:05 unlimited resources and finances and manpower to call upon when they’re
1:58:13 trying to shut all of this sort of stuff down which they’ve done very effectively so also the therapist has to realize
1:58:21 that they’re working with the most challenging client group you could ever encounter ever so the earth Erebus might
1:58:28 be working with a client who was way smarter than the therapist who has gone
1:58:33 through psychological processes that enhance their natural abilities I mean
1:58:40 that’s why that was that’s why they were selected in the first place that was selected for these abuse programs based
1:58:48 on their higher IQ their resilience their fortitude their adaptability and
1:58:59 you know it’s it’s would be very difficult to psychologically overpower
1:59:06 or outsmart a client that comes from
1:59:11 this sort of background you know if you’ve got a therapist who’s got an IQ of I don’t know 120
1:59:17 I mean how they’re going to work with her a victim whose IQs 200 and there’s no
1:59:23 there’s no way you can deceive a client like that there’s no way you can lie no
1:59:31 way you can hide fear you can’t hide anything from them they will read it in
1:59:37 the therapist because they can read their micro facial expressions straightaway and so you know it’s it’s
1:59:46 something to to give serious consideration to something that is very
1:59:56 important to consider is the therapeutic bond between the client and the
2:00:02 therapist this is quite unique when it
2:00:07 comes to victims of ritual abuse and mind control it it’s essential that this
2:00:15 bond is formed so that the memories can be processed the client will not start
2:00:24 to remember anything until they feel as though they’re in a safe place and are
2:00:30 not going to be killed in the process the therapeutic bond is completely
2:00:37 shaped by the attachment violation that I talked about earlier it’s it is very
2:00:44 complicated this therapeutic bond if the perpetrator was a therapist and usually at least one of the victims perpetrators
2:00:51 was a doctor or a psychiatrist psychologist that’s that’s the whole point there the people who have been
2:00:57 trained they’re experts in in the human brain and in behavior and that’s why
2:01:04 they were trained and you know the whole point to them being there is their
2:01:09 expertise in that area so that is going to flavor everything that happens within
2:01:17 that therapeutic environment if a
2:01:24 successful therapeutic bond is formed between the victim and the therapist
2:01:31 then what happens is that every state of
2:01:37 consciousness or alter or personality or fragment whatever you want to call it
2:01:44 every force dissociative parcel will surface to test the therapist and this
2:01:53 is a very unpleasant experience for the therapist especially if they are
2:01:58 psychologically weak or they themselves are a victim and then the clients
2:02:05 feelings toward the perpetrators one or more perpetrators will be automatically transferred to the therapist so that
2:02:12 could be you know anger rage that could
2:02:17 be an engagement in sort of mind games that can be could be sexual so I really
2:02:24 recommend that female clients work with female therapists because it would be
2:02:31 difficult for a male therapist to resist especially a young attractive
2:02:37 mind-control victims advances which they will bring out to test the therapist so
2:02:45 I yeah there are pros and cons to this
2:02:50 therapeutic bonding situation the pros are that the therapist is immediately
2:02:57 granted unprecedented access to the clients mind that’s that can be very
2:03:04 advantageous when the therapist wants to seriously work on the clients past the
2:03:12 client will obey the therapist when they’re in that vulnerable situation they’ll do as they’re told if that bond
2:03:18 is created well and the therapist their voice will pacify a client mid flashback
2:03:27 or mid a pre action all the therapist has to do is speak and the client will
2:03:36 respond like a like a little kid to it to a parent
2:03:42 the cons are that the client is dependent on the therapist until the portal to the past is closed now this is
2:03:48 the big risks that the client takes with the therapist to trust them at the
2:03:53 beginning like I said when they bought that rollercoaster and the cons are also
2:03:59 that the the clients anger at the perpetrators will be misplaced at times and unfortunately the the therapist will
2:04:07 be placed under excessive scrutiny by the client because they will expect the
2:04:13 the therapist to be perfect in everything that they do because that is what was expected of the victim when
2:04:21 they were being abused they were expected to be perfect this is where a lot of the perfectionism comes from and
2:04:29 ICD type behaviors you’ll see in victims
2:04:35 so what will happen once this bond has been secured the client will seek the
2:04:43 therapists voice whenever there’s severe trauma pain you know fear episode as I
2:04:49 said like a baby responds to a mum and this can be quite suffocating for the
2:04:58 therapists especially if they lack skills and emotional maturity and if
2:05:03 there are victim themselves the client will go into a complete state of panic
2:05:13 if the therapist doesn’t respond so if the therapist is physically emotionally unavailable if the victim has to demand
2:05:22 big work for productive therapy or you know big for more than you know a short
2:05:27 session once per week when when everything is quite critical this will exacerbate the victims frustration and
2:05:33 anger exhaustion you know and increase the sense that they’re losing their mind and you see clients in mental hospitals
2:05:41 institutions and they stay in this cycle for years where they’ve they’ve
2:05:47 connected with a therapist and the therapist sort of dumps them and doesn’t fulfill their obligations to sing
2:05:54 seeing out the therapeutic journey and the client just remains in this cycle of
2:06:00 pain and trauma and and you know panic and it’s just heartbreaking to see it
2:06:07 because it’s pretty easy to fix really so the clients pacify just knowing the therapists is available okay it that you
2:06:15 don’t even have to be actually physically available just if the clients got a sense that the therapist is
2:06:22 available that’s going to soothe that internal sense of chaos and it’s going
2:06:27 to reduce the need for actual contact so one way that I got around having you
2:06:33 know more sessions I was actually deprived of sessions when I really needed them but one way that I’m
2:06:40 compensated for that was writing the emails and that was able to immediately
2:06:45 soothe that panic that came up with a new memory or you know a flashback or
2:06:53 forethought flooding as I said I’m a fan
2:06:59 of EMDR which is a movement desensitization and reprocessing it’s a
2:07:04 type of therapy which is like a therapy based and there’s actually a lot of
2:07:11 research to support its use and effectiveness it’s not allowed to be
2:07:19 used in some states in Australia maybe because the people making decisions
2:07:24 about that part of the the child trafficking Network
2:07:30 why else would they not allow an effective means of therapy to be employed I don’t know so MDR is non
2:07:37 suggestive it allows the client to process at a manageable pace and
2:07:42 intensity their memories and the associated feelings I like I said like
2:07:50 to use it in conjunction with art therapy I think they complement each other perfectly prior to having any sort
2:07:58 of experience of EMDR I did decades of
2:08:03 art therapy and I was very familiar with the art therapy process and then so when I
2:08:10 experienced EMDR I could feel inside my brain that and the impact it had on my
2:08:17 nervous system that the process felt the same very similar and that’s what allows
2:08:24 me to feel quite confident in it and it’s not like hypnosis it’s not the same as hypnosis hypnosis is where the
2:08:31 therapist suggests what happens and hypnosis involves the victim handing
2:08:38 their will over to the therapist and that can be quite dangerous because you
2:08:45 don’t know really whether or not you can trust the therapist and if they launch
2:08:51 into hypnosis straight away you don’t know if you’re actually dealing with an abuser who’s going to manipulate your
2:08:59 behavior through the use of unethical hypnosis once you’ve given your will over and and you know you can come out
2:09:06 of the hypnosis and be completely dissociative to what was what just occurred and that therapist might have
2:09:12 used you while you’re under hypnosis and in a state of dissociation so I prefer
2:09:18 MDR for a number of reasons effective
2:09:25 therapy will trigger you as I said you
2:09:31 you have to push through triggers to get to the source of the problem it’s like
2:09:37 when I did therapy for my vestibular stroke what I had to do was the very
2:09:45 thing I did not want to do it’s the very thing I’d been avoiding for years and years and that was being made dizzy you
2:09:54 know quickly turning my head looking up things like that well the physiotherapy
2:10:00 that I did required me to shake my head to the point where I felt ill and and to
2:10:06 do exercises where I you know throw a ball and look it up in the air and catch it and all these things that the very
2:10:11 thing I did not want to do and I was sick for weeks doing it but what it did was it forced the creation
2:10:19 of new neural pathways so that they bypass the damaged pathways in my brain
2:10:25 and it’s a bit like that when it comes to doing therapy and memory retrieval
2:10:32 and processing in association with ritual abuse and mind control you’re
2:10:38 going to be triggered and I mean some programming will trigger extreme thought
2:10:46 flooding and that sort of thing and I suppose it takes a skilled therapist to know the difference between thought
2:10:53 flooding and flashbacks that need to be turned off because there they were there as a defense mechanism and they were
2:11:00 placed by the abusers to turn the client off from exploring their memories but I
2:11:06 found that I never really had a great problem with that when I took the view
2:11:12 that hey these triggers are going to lead me to the end result which is
2:11:17 integration I so you know I went through extreme sensory flashbacks I had
2:11:25 flashbacks of being drugged I had a three-day drugged flashback where honestly I was I walked around
2:11:31 absolutely stoned for three days when I hadn’t taken anything I went through flashbacks of nervous system pain I
2:11:38 cannot I cannot describe the pain that I went through it’s worse than childbirth drug-free childbirth and I had two of
2:11:46 the most painful well the two most painful Labor’s that my very experienced midwife had ever seen in her career and
2:11:54 unfortunately I couldn’t dissociate from the pain because I’ve been through a lot of therapy in my very early 20s and yeah
2:12:01 I’d lost that ability to dissociate which was the downside to to effective therapy I had flashbacks of being
2:12:09 electrocuted I woke up one evening about 1:00 a.m. in the morning and I just woke
2:12:14 up screaming my head off I could feel a
2:12:19 big you know maybe it was a 20 centimeter by 20 centimeter pad of an
2:12:27 electrode on my back and honestly there was no difference between the flashback
2:12:32 of the electrocuted by that and actually being electrocuted in real life and so
2:12:40 obviously I was feeling that for the first time I had flashbacks of spinning
2:12:46 just vertigo I had extreme vertigo I nearly drowned in the surf because vertigo kicked in when I thought I was
2:12:52 alright and I went I went for a yeah run swim run activity and you know I nearly
2:12:59 drowned I had flashbacks of being hypnotized so this is highly unpleasant
2:13:06 and of course somebody’s going to reel from from these sorts of triggers but I
2:13:12 encourage people to just endure it and push through it’s not going to last forever I had nightmares terrible
2:13:21 nightmares which were of things that had happened or variations on themes
2:13:28 variation variations of things that had happened and I had thought flooding
2:13:34 thought flooding is horrendous it’s just when you are overwhelmed with lots of thoughts and memories at the one time
2:13:41 there could be 20 things that hit you at once and yeah it’s it’s so it’s extremely
2:13:48 unpleasant but this is what will happen if you embark upon therapy so go in knowing and you know trying to set up as
2:13:55 many safety precautions as possible and
2:14:00 one precaution is knowing what’s going on it’s it’s terrifying if you’re going
2:14:05 through this not seeing people in mental institutions it going through this sort of stuff it’s coming up and they don’t know it’s going on and the doctors all
2:14:11 think they’re psychotic or just you know borderline personality disorders and just drugged them whereas it’s pretty
2:14:17 simple if you just process all of this it eventually ends we need to really
2:14:24 emphasize the role of pain in all of this when the victim relieves the abuse
2:14:31 they actually relieve relive the abuse it’s not just a faint memory of the
2:14:36 abuse they’re really living it as though they’re still there and like when I relived being lowered
2:14:43 into a grave on top of a partially decomposed body when I did that I was there I could see it I had sort of faint
2:14:51 flashbacks coming through and the abbé reaction which is the feelings and
2:14:59 thoughts associated with the original abuse they’re equally as painful is original abuse there’s no difference and
2:15:07 it’s important to know that the brain registers psychological pain is physical pain I heard a neurologist speak on
2:15:12 radio one time a top neurologist from America and he said I hypothesize that
2:15:17 you know the brain does register physical pain is psychologically an order I knew that so to leave a person
2:15:27 who’s in a state of psychological agony and mock them or laugh at them or
2:15:32 whatever it happens in Psych hospitals in Australia and I experienced that or surrenders it’s the same as leaving
2:15:38 someone who has smashed up in a car accident on the side of the road without giving them any sort of painkiller it
2:15:45 really is a travesty in Australia that mental health staff don’t understand the
2:15:52 relationship between psychological and physical pain know that the side effects
2:16:00 of effective therapy include vertigo as I said nausea I was throwing up quite a
2:16:08 bit heart reaction so when when you go through and remembering being flatlined
2:16:15 and you know having your heart targeted physically then when you relive that
2:16:21 your heart will respond just like when you were going through it when you were a child so I had tachycardia I had chest
2:16:29 pain though it was not panic attack I have had a panic attack when I was very young that’s it’s not the same thing
2:16:36 also the side effect that you’ve got to be most weary of is in post suicidal
2:16:42 ideation what you have to know is and I’ll talk about this in detail next but you have to know that
2:16:47 beware of suicidal ideation it is not your own personal feelings and
2:16:53 you don’t want to commit suicide yourself you know victims usually want to live and these programs that
2:17:03 perpetrators are able to implement include feeling suicidal whenever you go
2:17:10 to recall a memory so let’s focus a bit on the suicide programming so every file
2:17:18 within the victims programming is protected by a suicide program okay so
2:17:25 every major file with with that file so you know therapists are going to
2:17:30 constantly come up against this suicidal ideation memory recall is the true
2:17:36 suicide trigger so working on memories is guaranteed to bring up suicidal
2:17:44 thoughts in the client so to permanently disarm that suicide trigger you have to
2:17:50 process the memory and I recommended by MDR and art and abreact the feelings so
2:17:56 you have to express what happened to you and feel the feelings and the thoughts
2:18:02 that you had at the time of the abuse if you don’t do this if you don’t
2:18:07 immediately process the memory then your symptoms are going to get worse and you
2:18:14 know the client will increasingly become at risk so it’s very important for therapists to be aware of this and be on
2:18:22 the lookout for this cycle which is guaranteed to be there so just to
2:18:28 emphasize the importance of bilateral stimulation on top of the MDR and art
2:18:36 therapy in between therapy sessions I would be recommending you swim swimming
2:18:43 is phenomenal for cognitive processing I could feel the trauma dissolve away and
2:18:54 just completed the integration process as I was doing laps if you’re not a very
2:19:01 good swimmer or strong swimmer I mean you can always go for lessons and to improve if you don’t like having to
2:19:08 turn your head I mean I couldn’t because I was getting vertigo all the time you get their snorkels and so you just get a
2:19:14 set of fins short fins which keep you buoyant if you’re not a great swimmer and a snorkel and it’s your away and I
2:19:23 used to like the fact that I could block out all sensory input by keeping my head
2:19:29 underwater and it’s that you have to do freestyle I find it’s that bilateral
2:19:36 stimulation that comes from using both arms so typing like I said typing is a
2:19:44 bilateral activity and the writing and expressing myself in between sessions
2:19:53 helped to process the the trauma and the memories and of course art I mean as I
2:20:00 said art therapy was invaluable to draw and you don’t have to be good at art
2:20:06 people think you have to be an artist to do art therapy no that’s not the point of art therapy it’s supposed to be art
2:20:12 as psychotherapy so it doesn’t matter if you can only draw stick figures the the
2:20:17 important thing is that you draw and I always say to people draw draw draw if stuff comes up in between sessions and
2:20:23 you can’t get to your therapists for whatever reason draw it it’s a it’s amazing how much subconscious material
2:20:31 will manifest on a piece of paper you just go out and buy those fat
2:20:38 kindergarten crayons just by some kids materials get some butchers paper or
2:20:43 even you know really large photocopying paper if you can or even if you’ve only got a little bit of a three photo
2:20:49 copying paper just who cares just as long as you start drawing and even if you only have textures as long as you’ve
2:20:55 got a range of colors to choose from at least a dozen colors to choose from that’s the important thing
2:21:01 and I find if just on the back of your piece of paper you write the date and the order that you did the drawings in
2:21:07 so if you want to take them into your therapist you can show them but just I
2:21:12 find the trick is to relax and you say to yourself just guess just
2:21:19 guess just guess what might have happened it doesn’t have to be right you could right you could draw anything it
2:21:27 doesn’t matter what will manifest eventually what will come through is the truth it always does so as I say these
2:21:36 activities in between sessions facilitate debrief so it helps you get
2:21:43 over the trauma of the therapy session sometimes I I really need to sleep after
2:21:49 a session and I’d wake up with my brain more integrated which is what sleep does
2:21:57 and it’s like I say it’s the act of
2:22:03 cognitive processing which is which is what these activities all have in common
2:22:08 so I’m going to give you an example of
2:22:16 what I did in therapy this is a sample session and it was the final significant
2:22:25 therapy session that I ever had and it was the session in which I reached the
2:22:32 core program which was the attachment violation when I was five that was committed by getting up now as I say I
2:22:39 planned my therapy there was no expert in Australia I believe me I looked and
2:22:46 so I did lots of study and lots of practice and I got to the point where I
2:22:53 could to a large extent plan and conduct my own therapy I just needed a therapist
2:22:59 there sometimes to hold my hand and and I would instruct her as to what to do
2:23:05 and she fought that but in the end it turns out I was actually right in what I
2:23:10 was doing so I’m going to read this session this is from an email I sent my therapist it shows my dark side as a
2:23:19 client I’m not saying I was an angel by any means and this this is a good example of how difficult it is dealing
2:23:25 with victims of VIP picking mind-control ritual abuse
2:23:31 somebody whose high IQ this is what you have to deal with so the session email
2:23:38 read this is what I need to do I need to deal with the attachment violation
2:23:43 whatever getting a deed to abuse this phenomenon has risen to the surface of my consciousness it’s preventing me from
2:23:50 functioning unfortunately I must enjoy more pain before I can deal with it I can’t concentrate study function in this
2:23:56 state of distraction anticipation of this planned remedy is all that is sustaining me right now I need a double
2:24:03 session ASAP I’m getting John that’s my husband to download the footage of getting er join the several segments of
2:24:10 his speaking repeat this footage over and over on the loop and place the loop footage on a DVD then I need you to do
2:24:18 the MDR as soon as you’ve done the MDR I need John to play the getting of footage on our TV I need you to do the MDR three
2:24:26 times allowing me to process and react between each dose I do not want you to refuse to repeat the MDR no matter what
2:24:33 you perceive my reaction to be I know exactly what I’m doing and you must trust me my heart will certainly hold up
2:24:39 I was fine even during the flatlining regression it is just a simulation and
2:24:45 not the real thing if that makes sense you and John must John must not touch me during any of this unless I tell you to
2:24:51 you must not talk during this process because saying the wrong thing pulls me
2:24:56 out and prevents me from revisiting the place I need to see I don’t want to be
2:25:01 grounded in any way to the present and by grounding I mean when she would hold my hand to keep me present
2:25:06 I must not I must be allowed to completely relive this one do not tell
2:25:12 me that it’s over or to just let it be there don’t fight it these instructions are and have always
2:25:17 been counterproductive and in applicable to what I’m doing I suspect I must travel travel back through three layers
2:25:24 of programmed walls to reach the attachment programming if we screw this up I will only have to start all over
2:25:30 again and I will not be able to move forward until this process is achieved I anticipate this will rip open the
2:25:37 attachment programming if I have getting his voice playing on a loop in the background I should be able to trigger myself instead
2:25:43 my mind to locate the memory I don’t care how exhausting or dangerous it looks it is only me revisiting the past
2:25:48 I know when this is happening that I’m not actually there I’m more than prepared for this I am in no way at risk
2:25:55 you just need to trust me and follow my instruction so that’s it so as you can
2:26:00 see I was a flippin nightmare to work with but I was right in in what I was saying
2:26:08 and it worked so I knew what to do I planned it it was this was 20 years in
2:26:14 the planning really and we did exactly what I said and it was very effective
2:26:20 and I did reach the attachment violation committed by getting hurt and it was it
2:26:27 was like in the end when we did MDR I could actually consciously steer my
2:26:33 brain to where I wanted to go and visit the memories that I wanted to visit my
2:26:39 therapist didn’t know what the heck was going on usually and she did last long
2:26:47 enough that she you know got me to the end of where I needed to go and but it
2:26:57 was really hard going on her and it nearly broke her and you know I I regret
2:27:06 that but at the same time I like I say it’s a roller coaster ride that you
2:27:11 can’t get off until you’ve finished and I was certainly reaching the end no
2:27:16 matter what one of the most surprising questions I got from victims in America
2:27:24 and Australia was what should I integrate it to me it was a no-brainer I
2:27:31 hadn’t even had to put into words my reasons for integration until people ask
2:27:39 me that so I’m going to discuss the pros and cons of successful integration
2:27:46 integration reduces and sometimes it completely eliminates certain symptoms
2:27:52 so the symptoms that it very much reduced was anxiety and
2:28:02 depression I’m probably still a bit prone to those feelings but I think
2:28:08 that’s to do with normal everyday reactions to ongoing victimization at
2:28:17 the hands of New South Wales Police and the people they that the pedophile
2:28:24 Network employ to harass the hell out for me and my family you know they still
2:28:29 try and kill my pets and and try and attack me and set me up so it’s very
2:28:36 hard to know what is residual emotional
2:28:42 feelings as opposed to or what’s just you know a normal reaction to people
2:28:48 attacking me still to this day I no longer have severe flashbacks thought
2:28:56 flooding I’m not easily triggered I be
2:29:02 prior to this I could have been very easily triggered by my abuse and I would
2:29:08 have still been moderately susceptible to someone using programmed triggers to
2:29:15 try and access me although that really didn’t work very well of me I remember
2:29:20 one person that years ago after I dealt with the first half of my abuse the
2:29:28 ritual side mainly and we were supposedly was taking me out to do know this before I was married and and we’re
2:29:35 sitting down looking at artwork and suddenly he leaned forward to me and said Beelzebub Lord of the Flies like
2:29:41 out of the blue and that would normally be a trigger but it had already been broken and I just turned around and said what the hell is that got to do with the
2:29:48 price of fish so what you find is once you’ve completely integrated you notice
2:29:53 when you’re getting these random people who are involved in Luciferian ritual abuse or in the system and they come up
2:30:00 to you and they’ll randomly say things on the street to you to to trigger you they’ll use program trigger words all
2:30:06 that van you up or there’ll be you know some sort of like flashing of lights in your house and all this sort of stuff
2:30:12 you know they’ll get to your fuse box and and and turn your lights on and off and that that’s how victims are
2:30:19 triggered and you will no longer react to that if you’ve been integrated properly you might still be a little bit
2:30:25 triggered by seeing things that are ah you know reminiscent of your abuse but it’s there’s no comparison I mean when I
2:30:32 was extremely vulnerable in the 18 months that the portal to my past was open when I was triggered I could end up
2:30:40 jumping to the side of the room and in a corner in a fetal position screaming and
2:30:45 in shock so certainly that’s never going to happen again I don’t dissociate anymore
2:30:54 like I did I might just so she ate a little bit with trauma but it’s the normal dissociation that any human being
2:31:01 who’s not been through ritual abuse and mind control would go through so if I had if I was given some little bit some
2:31:06 shocking news like a death of my family or something like that course I’m going to dissociate that’s normal so but I don’t have the the over-the-top
2:31:13 dissociation that I used to have mood swings I don’t I do not shift in between
2:31:22 sort of personality that I used to which manifested as mood swings that just
2:31:28 doesn’t happen and my family have noticed that and my friends you know they they’ve noticed they say it’s just absolutely remarkable how much I’ve I’ve
2:31:36 changed and that’s the best feedback because from you your family and your decent friends so I asked my daughter I
2:31:44 turn around when I was writing the conference slides and I said oh tell me what have you noticed is there any give
2:31:49 me some feedback is there any you know what difference have you noticed and she just went bang bang bang and she she
2:31:54 said Oh big difference between reactions based on personality versus your PTSD symptoms she said she can now see a
2:32:02 direct relationship between cause and effect in terms of you know an incident happens and then my emotional reaction
2:32:09 to it whereas before you know nothing would seemingly happen and I’d go off in my family go what the hell you know they
2:32:15 couldn’t pin her on anything and my daughter noticed my eldest daughter she noticed that I can now concentrate on a
2:32:22 or conversation longer so that’s her objective observation she’s very very clever girl and so she has a very
2:32:30 reliable opinion so I no longer have the confusion I used to have it’s it’s
2:32:38 disappeared and I now suffer a little bit of anxiety and depression but that
2:32:44 is normal stuff and it’s probably to do with hormones I mean I’m one of my 47 and you know approaching menopause and I
2:32:52 think there’s a bit of that going on I can get angry but I no longer see blind
2:32:58 rage and I don’t overreact anymore I just don’t compare to what I used to and well there’s just no come it’s like
2:33:04 chalk and cheese now OCD tendencies you get these in high IQ people anyway because they tend to be perfectionist
2:33:11 I don’t have that drive anymore to be
2:33:18 obsessive-compulsive it’s just not there anymore so I’m parently a bit better to
2:33:24 live with says my family my husband might argue against that sometimes but I
2:33:30 think that’s just a normal wife that
2:33:35 he’s living with now to emphasize the main advantage of integration is there
2:33:42 is no mysterious source of nervous system pain I don’t just immediately feel
2:33:49 overwhelmed with pain and I don’t sometimes feel Terry you know and don’t know why all of those
2:33:56 feelings that you have usually a link to unprocessed memories of seeing terrible things happen to
2:34:03 other children that you care about and other people so I don’t have that now
2:34:09 and it it’s difficult to put into words how things are now it’s like it’s like a
2:34:19 veil has been lifted and I see things in
2:34:24 in color now instead of before it was black and white or it was an
2:34:29 oversaturation of multiple colors it’s hard to describe it before things were
2:34:35 felt a bit too only now everything’s quite moderate and I’m I’m not in so much conflict with
2:34:43 people I used somebody once said to me they’re about 17 they’re a lot like me and needs to specialize in teaching
2:34:50 gifted kids or whatever she says are now in my old age I see things in more in shades of gray –great where I wasn’t I
2:34:57 was always black and white and I say that I said I that’ll never happen with
2:35:02 me I’m very black and white well I have to admit she was right I’m seeing things
2:35:07 more in shades of grey I can compromise a little bit more but
2:35:13 I’m not the type who will compromise when it comes to ethical matters I’ll die fighting for what I believe is right
2:35:20 and you’ll never change me on that now I
2:35:28 don’t know if these are actually a list of cons but some things that need to be acknowledged look integration reduces but does not
2:35:35 completely eliminate PTSD symptoms that’s what I’ve discovered I was hoping that all my PTSD census will disappear
2:35:41 well they don’t especially if you continue to be victimized as they do
2:35:47 you’re not going to react the same way as you used to be for and go into a complete state of lockdown trauma but
2:35:55 you’re still going to still able to be triggered and and you will still have that that mild PTSD response the client
2:36:05 may still process new memories post integration I’m still processing memories I’m still putting you know this these people had access to me from age 1
2:36:14 to what was it I was 16 turning 17 you
2:36:21 know that’s a lot of years of information to process and that’s why the therapist says as well suppose fiona
2:36:26 you’ve just a lots happened and you’ve got a lot to get through but when I process things now
2:36:32 it certainly is nothing like what it was before it lacks the intensity of before
2:36:38 it’s similar but it’s like a like a shadow of what I went through especially
2:36:43 during those 18 months of processing the the military abuse a negative is I can’t dissociate from
2:36:50 normal pain anymore like I said when I was going through childbirth it would have been quite
2:36:55 handy to have not integrated before as much as I had because I used to be able
2:37:01 to completely dissociate from pain I did not feel pain as a teenager just didn’t
2:37:07 feel it physical pain I could be beaten up by my father but I did never I never
2:37:12 felt felt it there was nothing what I’ve discovered is life doesn’t suddenly
2:37:19 become perfect after integration I used to always I can remember in my teen
2:37:25 years I used to know I used to think I just I see that light at the end of the tunnel I just have to get through to the
2:37:31 end of the tunnel and everything would be fine well it wasn’t fine life still can be crack stuff still happens and you still
2:37:39 feel negative feelings and as my friend dr. Anna Michaelson said rich lab usin
2:37:45 mind control is a life sentence Vienna and that’s the hard reality I still have
2:37:51 people involved in the child abuse Network who harass the hell out of me
2:37:57 and still pursue me and target me and you know I have to live with that on a
2:38:04 daily basis and of course they would very much like access to my children because my children are what you call
2:38:11 bloodline candidates so those are the cons for further information about me
2:38:20 you can go to pedophiles down under calm Fiona Burnett org I also have facebook
2:38:26 pages under the same names I trust the work of fret spring Meyer
2:38:31 and Carol ruts theirs are the only writings that are consistent with my
2:38:36 experience of ritual abuse and mind control all others I find a usually
2:38:42 fakes now I’m providing a list of services that you should avoid and this
2:38:50 is based on personal experience or contact with other victims who have
2:38:56 accessed these services so to be in with in the USA in Canada definitely
2:39:03 avoid dr. Preston Bailey I know somebody who attended a conference of his ten years ago and he was mocking victims at
2:39:12 that conference that he was talking at and he was seen with a MK ULTRA sex
2:39:18 slave basically dripping off his arm and the
2:39:23 person I know took a bit of a car ride with him and she and her girlfriend were
2:39:29 terrified for their lives in the presence of this monster so don’t believe anything he says and they’re
2:39:36 some of his people that he’s counseling I see that one in particular is genuine
2:39:42 has not made much progress in this person’s care and another one’s a fake so avoid them Colin Ross I have nothing
2:39:51 good to say that Colin Ross I had a therapist come up to me at the conference I presented it which turned
2:39:58 out to be sponsored by Ross and she said that basically a client of hers was bumped off at Colin Ross’s Institute
2:40:04 further quite a number of incidents have
2:40:10 occurred at the Institute with people going in non suicidal and committing suicide and that Institute now the whole
2:40:17 point of a Institute like that is to stop someone from committing suicide because it’s obvious that clients will
2:40:24 go into a suicidal phase when they’re triggered by memories that are coming up
2:40:30 but that should be managed and people should be supervised that’s the whole point of being institutionalized Alison
2:40:37 Miller I’m not impressed she supervised dat particular case that I helped out with in Alaska and I really from
2:40:46 firsthand contact with that person realized that they were giving me
2:40:52 misinformation so Rusty’s dad this comes from people who have worked with him
2:40:58 although what he presents on his websites etc is sound apparently what
2:41:05 happens when you enter into a counseling situation is completely different to what you experience when you just listen
2:41:12 to this person’s teachings which you know sound reasonable in Australia avoid
2:41:17 like the plague anybody associated upon university I made the mistake of going to a psychologist who had graduated from
2:41:25 bond and she wrote a disgusting report for victim services New South Wales saying that I murdered my grandfather I
2:41:34 was actually in Brisbane when my step grandfather was suicided by the
2:41:39 pedophile ring he’s autopsy report noted suicide by hanging and she was taken
2:41:46 before a board an ethical board and forced to change that report basically I
2:41:52 graduated from gone genie and I can say that it’s infiltrated by Luciferian pedophiles and people who like to cover
2:41:59 up pedophilia and lecturers who rush and publish pro pedophilia material and
2:42:04 teach pro Elizabeth Loftus materials in the classrooms I would not trust anybody
2:42:11 who has relied solely upon their education from Bond University and it’s
2:42:16 up to the discretion of the individual are David and Ray Lane Thompson from Watchtower ministries South Australia
2:42:22 David Thompson is ex-military he I had
2:42:28 personal experience with him I was pressured to go down intend sessions
2:42:34 with him and on about the third day he became verbally abusive are sexually
2:42:39 inappropriate questions and raised his voice at me and was basically I think trying to trigger me to dissociate he
2:42:47 was an absolute disgrace and a monster and he should be shut down and I only
2:42:52 just escaped from there narrowly I think Braveheart is fake
2:42:57 don’t go there I’ve had a lot of personal association with come birth brave hearts and contact through my
2:43:02 sister-in-law who associated with them and they basically are information
2:43:09 gatherers and they say that they help survivors but they don’t have had multiple people victims contact me
2:43:16 complaining about brave hearts and how they are treated through them and if you look at
2:43:23 Sara Monaghan who won a case against the hey Dad pedophile on set her biography will
2:43:31 document her grievance with Brave Hearts Brave Hearts basically sabotage her case and nearly shut it down
2:43:38 and that’s what they tend to do I found I don’t trust Liz Molinar and he’ll for
2:43:43 life I don’t trust them because of victim testimony to me and because Liz
2:43:49 Malina was actually the person who worked with a lot of my perpetrators in
2:43:54 the theater scene and she was very close with Anthony Kidman and Nicole Kidman
2:44:00 and that group and how she and and in the theater that John bel one of my perpetrators associated with so how on
2:44:07 earth she wouldn’t have known that everybody was being abused through that scene is beyond me blue not foundation
2:44:15 formally asked was very poorly managed in the past and I don’t think anything
2:44:22 has changed so I wouldn’t trust anyone in that organization with my information
2:44:27 so I there’s a lot of others I wouldn’t trust either I have question marks over
2:44:33 any Australian hospital that says they are specialized in di D such as Belmont
2:44:40 in Brisbane and various organizations I wouldn’t go near a psychiatric facility
2:44:47 in Australia I usually find they’re infiltrated by perpetrators may not be
2:44:52 all the staff in the organisation but only takes one to get to you and trigger you if you haven’t been integrated and
2:44:58 that’s a big advantage of integration as you know not so at risk of being
2:45:04 accessed by these perpetrators so that’s
2:45:11 it that’s the basic content of my Seattle conference with some changes and
2:45:18 some enlightenment that I’ve had since being over there some conclusions
2:45:25 analysis of my experience look I hope
2:45:32 that that helps victims to at least identify
2:45:37 whether or not the therapist therewith has potential for helping them to heal I
2:45:45 hope it by watching what I’ve been through other victims
2:45:51 can identify with at least something in what I experienced and I hope it helped
2:45:58 steer them in the right direction towards healing
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