Frontline untangles the mysterious web of satanic ritual abuse, psychiatric treatment, and insurance claims that escalated into millions of dollars. Were these professed victims of secret satanic cults really helped by the psychiatric care they received? Mary Shriner
0:06 some of the top doctors in the country the diagnosis satanic ritual abuse
0:13 it was like going deeper and deeper into an abyss after millions of dollars in
0:19 treatment the women now say the doctors were wrong it stopped because i stopped following
0:25 dr braun’s orders tonight on frontline the search for satan
0:31 [Music] funding for frontline is provided by the corporation for public broadcasting
0:40 and by annual financial support from viewers like you
0:46 this is front line
0:59 don’t tell me i’m stupid i’m not doing very scary getting better you’re sick
1:08 mary’s getting better
1:24 mary s spent three years in psychiatric wards diagnosed as a victim of satanic ritual
1:30 abuse you and bobby ruined it
1:36 i was told that i was raised in a satanic cult and when you’re raised in a satanic cult
1:42 you abuse people even the people that you love everybody around you is in the cult you
1:49 don’t know what it is to be a person but you don’t even know that i’m smart
1:55 enough to love your daughter and get her out of the call it was like going
2:00 deeper and deeper and deeper into an abyss there was no end there was like
2:14 i really believed that i would either end up in a psych unit for the rest of my life or
2:21 that when my insurance ran out that i would live underneath the bridge as bank woman
2:31 mary’s journey paid for by her insurance company took her into one of the most controversial areas in modern psychiatry
2:40 it began six years ago when mary lived with her husband joe and her eight-year-old son ryan in the suburbs
2:45 of chicago he worked in telecommunications she was
2:50 a schoolteacher they were the typical
2:56 loving family meredith shriner and her husband were close friends with joe and
3:02 mary they were very good friends as well as lovers and um they were very close they had a good
3:09 relationship she also had a wonderful relationship with her child
3:15 mary was a great mom with ryan just a great mom had tons of patience
3:22 in 1988 mary fell into a deep depression i started having panic attacks
3:30 not being able to eat losing a lot of weight um not being able to sit still not being
3:35 able to concentrate so i went and i went to um
3:40 a psychiatrist to get medication she
3:47 uh found a counselor that was recommended by a friend and and went to her and within a few months
3:54 um she kept getting worse anxiety attacks were very bad
3:59 because i had seizures and blackouts my therapist felt that i might be
4:04 suffering from dissociative disorders and so i went for an evaluation
4:11 at the best hospital in chicago with the leading experts in the field
4:16 the hospital was rush presbyterian saint luke’s in chicago a renowned teaching hospital
4:23 with a unit specializing in treating the dissociative disorder known as multiple personality disorder
4:30 there mary met with dr roberta sax within the first five minutes
4:37 i was in her office she diagnosed me as poly fragmented multiple
4:44 multiplicity was something that we knew nothing about and so she described multiplicity as
4:51 taking a vase and dropping it on a cement floor and that’s what had happened to my
4:57 personality i had shattered into that many pieces and that her job as a therapist was to
5:06 glue those pieces back together into a hole
5:11 mary was 38 by then her life had not been easy
5:16 growing up she had a learning disability when she was 19 she was brutally date
5:22 raped became pregnant and gave the child up for adoption
5:28 after her marriage and the birth of her son she underwent a hysterectomy and developed seizures
5:35 her husband was a recovering alcoholic finally shortly before the onset of her
5:41 depression she was attacked in a hallway at the school where she taught
5:47 still mary says her therapist who had attended the seminar on satanic cult abuse
5:53 thought that that might be another explanation for her depression mary wondered she went to church
6:01 it is my opinion that history will mark april of 1989 as the month when americans were forced
6:07 to pull their heads out of the sand there’s a very large church in our area
6:13 and during the time that mary was trying to find herself through counseling and find out why she was
6:20 having anxiety attacks um they were having a series on
6:26 cults in this church they a series meaning eight nine weeks of
6:32 sermons on that in april of 1989 satanism came out of the closet for
6:38 everyone to see it in all of its ugliness the satan worshipers that pose the greatest threat
6:44 to our society are the secret splinter groups scores of clandestine groups are meeting
6:49 right here in our neighborhood and the amount of activity is on the rapid increase
6:54 several churches in our immediate area have been broken into recently and even though it was bizarre it seemed to
7:00 be an answer for her as to why she was anxious and why she was scared and why she was nervous
7:15 it was not a new idea ten years before the best seller michelle remembers told
7:21 the story of a young woman who had traced the source of her unhappiness to repressed memories of being
7:26 satanically abused by her family soon newspapers and magazines were full
7:33 of stories of abuse at the hands of satanic cults stories involving cannibalism human
7:39 sacrifice blood rituals the abuse was so terrible some therapists said
7:46 that it caused children to develop multiple personalities as a defense against the pain
7:52 [Music] then television joined in magazine 2020
7:59 the geraldo rivera special by 1988 when geraldo rivera’s highly rated
8:05 special on satanism was broadcast satanic ritual abuse was considered he
8:10 who firmly believed that many of their patients were survivors of satanic cults here in chicago a group of well-known
8:17 therapists from all over the country had the courage to share horror stories we’re talking about people in some cases
8:23 who are coming to us as patients who were raised in satanic cults from the time they were born
8:29 i have letters in my file from over 40 states in the united states in several problems the provinces of
8:36 canada and one from england with very similar data if just a tiny bit of
8:43 it is true uh it’s appalling and uh there’s a need for somebody to do
8:50 something part of the the the power of the cult both with the individual and with the others around it is its
8:55 ability to induce fear dr bennett braun became a leading spokesman on the connection between
9:00 mpd and ritual abuse it needs to be looked at
9:06 it was to dr braun and his colleague roberta sax of chicago that mary had turned for diagnosis and
9:13 treatment mary’s reasons for admission according to her hospital records read
9:18 patient is a victim of satanic ritualistic abuse diagnosis of mpd
9:26 mary’s vague fears of having been abused in a cult now received the stamp of professional
9:32 certainty she was surprised to discover she said that her doctor seemed to know more
9:38 about her family’s history than she did roberta sax came in and told me that
9:44 victims throughout the country had identified me as the fifth generation cult
9:51 um that we were high up in the cult that we’re cult royalty um our my um family
9:59 my parents my sisters and i once hospitalized mary began regular
10:06 therapy sessions with dr braun and roberta or bobby sax
10:11 most of the sessions were about memory in many of the sessions with my husband
10:18 joe he he would come to the sessions and the two of us would sit down and they would
10:23 ask questions about you know who we knew from church um
10:29 who was in the the people in the school district what i knew about their personal life um
10:37 who we socialized with trying to get more and more information
10:43 about the cult and but this is an is this a treatment or
10:50 was this an investigation it felt like an investigation and in fact oftentimes i would say to
10:58 to bobby all you want is information from me and she’d say no you know we’re concerned at getting that
11:04 for you to get better but if i didn’t have any information
11:10 they didn’t have any time for me especially dr braun dr braun prescribed the medication he
11:18 put mary on a variety of medications among them halcyon chronopin
11:24 xanax prozac and on experimentally high doses of the heart medication
11:29 indoral heavily medicated mary says she lived in
11:35 fear they told me that i had already been programmed that if i divulged the
11:42 secrets from the cult that i would self-destruct
11:47 and that my programming had just been turned on at age 39. how did they know that because they
11:54 were the experts [Music] they they were experts they said we’ve
12:00 been studying this this for 15 years we’ve done research you know we’ve we’ve uh this phenomena
12:08 is happening all over the world we’re the we’re the experts we’ve written books
12:14 we’ve we give lectures people come to our hospital other
12:20 doctors come to our hospital and are trained by us because we we are
12:26 the experts in fact mary’s doctors were considered
12:33 leading experts in their field mental status in november of 1994 dr
12:38 braun was honored at the annual conference of the international society for the study of multiple personality
12:44 and dissociation we owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to dr brown
12:49 most of the big names in the field were there gloria steinem was keynote speaker and
12:55 guest of honor the burden for keeping all of this afloat was dr brown’s absolutely far beyond the
13:02 contribution of anybody else in the field of the society
13:08 i want to assure everybody that russia intends to continue its commitment to ongoing professional education
13:14 in the field of dissociation we are currently it was because of her doctor’s reputations mary says
13:20 that she persevered in her treatment despite her fears and her growing misgivings
13:26 i had doubts all along the way my journal is just full of statements
13:32 you know i i kid this can’t be true this is a nightmare i’ve made this up
13:38 i mean my whole life my whole world have been turned upside down at that point
13:44 here you know i go from being this teacher and having a normal life and doing normal things
13:50 to a court called royalty in an educational video dr sachs
13:57 explained very few patients who have been richly abused
14:02 come in and say i’ve been richly abused you know and i’ve been through this
14:08 torture and that torture and i’ve been pregnant this many times and aborted this many times and forced to
14:16 participate in cannibalism and on and on and on on the contrary these
14:22 people do everything they can to deny the
14:28 existence of that we’re trying to help dr sachs explained in her records what was wrong with mary
14:35 mary had an estimated 15 developed child altars some with twins and a system with seven
14:42 cult altars but was unaware of their existence
14:47 mary was encouraged to cut off contact with most family members and friends outside the hospital meredith had not
14:54 seen her friend in months she was lost to us totally
14:59 we had no idea where she was she contacted mary’s husband joe
15:05 i asked if we could visit her and he said no um and i said well how about if i can
15:11 call her send her a card whatever he said no you may have no contact with her at all none of her friends could have
15:18 contact we couldn’t talk to her she couldn’t talk to us this was the doctor’s orders
15:24 and um and that’s the way it was going to be
15:30 mary was cut off i had no way to test my reality
15:35 there were a lot of nurses and things that i went to and i said you know is this reality and and they
15:42 all reinforced yes it was you know that that i was really in the best of care
15:48 and that you know this was such a new field and we were always being told we were the pioneers we were on the
15:54 cutting edge of this this um field and that what they were
15:59 doing with us would be would shape the treatment of
16:05 mpds in future generations multiple personality disorder we’ve all seen it
16:10 dramatized on television even though it was controversial dr braun’s work was considered to be on the
16:16 cutting edge of treatment for mpd there’s just one facility devoted solely to its treatment
16:22 and as channel 5’s rick salinger reports it’s here in chicago rick ron and carol it’s located in that
16:28 canyon of condominiums along sheridan road north of hollywood dr bennett brown founded the
16:34 dissociative disorders unit one year ago as part of rush presbyterian st luke’s medical center
16:39 meet pat i’m 32 i’m married i have two children by outward
16:45 appearances she is normal but inside are dozens of different people
16:50 where would pat be without this unit i wouldn’t be alive uh chances are my children and husband
16:57 wouldn’t be alive either pat burgess was one of the first patients on the unit in 1986 she arrived after having been in
17:06 a depression for three years following the difficult birth of her second son
17:12 when a social worker diagnosed her with mpd she sought help at rush these were
17:18 the experts [Music]
17:24 they were in a very well respected teaching institution
17:30 i turned to that teaching institution for state-of-the-art medical care
17:37 cutting-edge medical care i didn’t turn to them for fringe therapy some goofy controversial
17:45 crap what do you hear her saying that the hurting is over dr braun
17:53 often treated me like his star patient i would have to teach other residents
18:00 and doctors and and media people about multiple personality disorder who’s
18:06 there sarah how old are you sarah 4’5
18:14 was supposed to switch personalities for the camera who’s this karen karen
18:22 you don’t seem too happy i’m not dr braun and i kind of rehearsed that a few times to make sure that it looked believable for
18:30 for the interviewer i was supposed to talk about how if it wasn’t for dr braun i wouldn’t be
18:36 alive where would pat be without this unit i wouldn’t be alive
18:41 patty says that dr braun both pushed her to remember things that didn’t occur and then believed her stories
18:49 after a year in the hospital patty traced the satanic history of her family back to the 17th century satanic cult
18:57 practices have been passed down through the paternal side of the family dr braun asked me to write up something
19:03 to do a presentation at his conference it was supposed to be one of my altar personalities
19:09 giving a history about the cult the satanic activity has been genealogically traced to a
19:16 southern slavic region of europe during the middle evil ages when her
19:22 forbearers were the supreme monarchs of the blood royal i believed that i was a satanic high
19:28 priestess that i was controlling a satanic cult in a nine state region
19:34 revealed with the history of multi i took satanic worship torturous human
19:41 sacrifice cannibalism all reality and fantasy just
19:47 blended together i was drugged i was hypnotized and i was mentally ill
19:55 she also knew nothing but i was told that you know until i hit bottom until i
20:02 dug all of this stuff out i would never get better and i would never have a chance for any kind of a future for my children
20:11 mary says she too was told she had to persevere in her treatment for the sake of her son i was told that
20:18 i was the only one in five generations who was given the insight
20:26 to break this cycle and if i wanted my son to live and not become
20:34 you know occult cultists or to to die then i was responsible for his
20:41 life a turning point in mary’s treatment came when dr sachs asked her to attend a
20:47 consultation with one of the most important experts in cult programming techniques
20:52 dr corey hammond professor of medicine at the university of utah
20:58 dr hammond lectured often on the origins and practices of the cult very very systematic brainwashing that
21:05 comes out of experimentation from nazi doctors and experimentation in the intelligence
21:11 community with mind control research and involves medical technology and is very very sophisticated
21:19 in one of his lectures not available to the public hammond described his theories about the
21:24 origins of satanic cult programming starting with a jewish collaborator in
21:30 the nazi death camps his name was greenbaum alias dr
21:35 greene some of the people then during the mind control research were satanists the nazi doctors and they
21:43 have used all the technology and in fact the kid who came over whose name was green bomb
21:49 changed his name and americanized it to green and got an md in the state of new york
21:55 and became known as dr green and he’s at the center of this process and is still around
22:01 he’s around mid 60s and still alive according to dr hammond dr green developed a secret code based
22:08 on the greek alphabet which the cult used to program its members
22:13 examples alpha represented general programming beta was sexual programming delta
22:20 was the program for killing gamma was the one that therapists should look
22:26 out for it was a deception program teaching misinformation and trickery dr hammond evaluated mary
22:35 is there any part of mary who knows anything about alpha beta
22:43 delta or theta he hypnotized me and put me in trance and then he asked me
22:50 about the greek alphabet and asked me to name any of the greek letters the alphabet that i knew
22:56 and i named a few and then he asked me for the gamma erasure code
23:03 and i didn’t know what he was talking about mary remembers being told that her gamma program
23:09 was still active that meant she was still loyal to the cult and possibly a danger to the staff and
23:16 other patients but i believe that quite a few of them that we’re treating are still involved in cults
23:22 and that we should not be treating them if they are and that’s a cruel terrible thing to say
23:28 and that is a danger to them and a danger to us mary says that she was told that besides being a cult
23:33 plant and a spy she was now strongly suspected of having ritually abused and
23:39 programmed her son he had to be evaluated she had to be
23:44 deprogrammed dr sax recommended that the work be done in houston by her colleague dr judith peterson
23:52 hi judy hi uh it’s good to see you today the two therapists referred patients to
23:58 each other and had collaborated on several training programs what you’re about to see is a role play
24:05 of an ab reaction peterson a licensed psychologist and phd
24:10 was clinical director of a special unit at spring shadows glenn a private psychiatric hospital in
24:16 houston texas a small building surrounded by trees the hospital was nicknamed
24:22 club med by its patients mary would stay there for two years
24:28 some of her therapy sessions were taped in this session dr peterson is to mary’s
24:34 right
24:41 by the time i got down to houston they didn’t care what had happened to me i was identified
24:48 as a perpetrator and treated as a perpetrator
24:53 she knows
25:00 they told me that there was someone some cult altar deep within my system
25:07 that knew the plan about killing my husband and my son
25:14 and then all i needed to do was to let that alter surface
25:20 [Applause]
25:26 it’s not by then mary says she believed it all
25:32 and tried hard to provide some useful information
25:40 they would say you know let the let them come up bring them up let the the real
25:48 occult loyal alters come up and give this plan you heard that what else what else what
25:54 else is
26:06 i was told that i would be go i would go to prison because they knew that i had had killed people and that i had abused
26:14 these children and i was part of this this international network
26:21 i hate you
26:28 mary’s friends had no idea what had happened to her
26:36 i i was very concerned at that time that maybe she was dead [Music]
26:42 i knew she’d call we were close friends i knew i knew she would call some way somehow
26:47 she would call if she could and by that point i was really beginning to doubt what was
26:54 going on with her and with joe and um i was just very scared
27:01 stop hurting people stop abusing people that’s what it means
27:07 don’t worry about feeling guilty just stop being a perpetrator mary’s husband joe who was working with
27:13 her doctors had been persuaded that his wife was indeed in a cult that was intent on
27:18 killing him and that mary’s alter personalities had abused their son
27:23 he’s been so screwed up by the cult that he has to have professional help to know
27:28 what it is to be a little boy the program after program
27:35 that’s got him so confused and he doesn’t know what it means to be a normal boy he’s working hard to find out what it is
27:44 ryan was admitted to the same hospital as his mother where he was being evaluated for
27:50 multiple personality disorder and cult abuse although he stayed on the
27:55 unit right next door to her mother and son were kept apart
28:00 sally macdonald was a nurse on the children’s ward i knew ryan has a patient on the
28:07 children’s unit and he came in as a very normal little boy who was full of joy full of
28:16 activity very normal talented little kid
28:26 ryan was one of several children at spring shadows were diagnosed with multiple personality
28:31 disorder as a result of ritual abuse these children came into the hospital as
28:36 really stable well-functioning kids most of them were admitted with
28:43 absolutely no idea of why they were there an example of
28:48 that is a 13 year old who was admitted on her 13th birthday and she was told that
28:56 that was the date that she would be initiated into a satanic cult
29:01 and that they by admitting her to the hospital they were protecting her
29:06 this nurse asked not to be identified what i saw our children being admitted with very normal behaviors being
29:13 allegedly involved in a cult not knowing anything about the cult and then slowly over time
29:20 being told about that they had parts and they had to look within themselves to find these
29:26 parts of them and there was a lot of pressure on them they went into therapy sessions to
29:32 identify these parts of them which eventually became alters which eventually had names and
29:40 became part of the multiple personality was she supposedly a member of a cult
29:49 she reported that dr peterson supervised the treatment of nearly all the mpd patients in the hospital
29:57 eventually most of her treatment techniques would be questioned among them her alleged practice of restraining
30:03 patients at nine points on their body for hours and sometimes days restraints
30:09 are a very serious form of treatment to protect a patient and yet
30:15 these patients were often kept in restraints for long periods of time sometimes to satisfy
30:22 information gathering of dr peterson she sought to bring out different altars
30:30 while this patient was tied down and and unless these patients produce these alters those patients stayed in
30:37 restraints for eight sixteen hours at a time
30:45 the nursing staff was torn and dismayed we were truly in the middle of an
30:51 ethical dilemma there was a lot of hostility from the psychologist and the
30:57 psychiatrist there was also a lot of discussion about the nurses
31:03 that they the reason there was such a conflict was because the nurses just couldn’t quote understand what was going on so the
31:10 belief was if they just educated us more we would understand everything
31:16 dr peterson wrote in a letter to the administrator of the hospital no education can occur with nurses who
31:23 still live in the dark ages it became very clear to the nurses that
31:30 if we objected there would be a reprisal and that reprisal would be a transfer
31:37 off the unit a demotion in some cases in actual termination
31:42 and that created a very chilling effect people were afraid to
31:47 object and yet they knew these nurses knew they had to object because
31:52 they feared violating their nurse practice act i didn’t feel that i
31:59 could really live with myself and the kinds of things that i was seeing happen to these children i felt
32:05 like these children were being robbed of their childhood dr peterson filed a child abuse report
32:12 against mary with the department of child and family services in illinois citing that mary had reported
32:18 electroshocking her son and abusing him in different places around the country
32:24 as for ryan dr peterson wrote ryan is felt to be a youngster who is highly
32:30 programmed as a structured poly fragmented mpd who has programs for
32:35 suicide homicide and return to the cult
32:40 ryan was 10 years old at the time i didn’t see him the last few days
32:46 before he left but i recently found out that after he left
32:51 he had gone on to a facility for multiple personalities
32:57 and that was very disheartening to me to hear that story i was very shocked that i thought he had
33:05 left the hospital because he was one of the lucky ones that had escaped
33:11 the facility dr peterson referred ryan to was back in chicago next door to the rush hospital complex
33:18 where his mother had first been hospitalized ryan was not the only child to be treated for multiple personality
33:25 disorder and cult-related abuse patty burgess’s two sons mikey and john
33:30 had spent almost three years under dr braun’s care at rush the children were put in the hospital
33:36 because i was told that multiple personality disorder had a genetic predisposition to it and
33:43 that the children would definitely develop multiple personality disorder and by having them in a teaching hospital
33:49 they could watch this develop and catch it and treat the children right away for it
33:55 john was hospitalized first at the age of five and was quickly diagnosed with multiple
34:01 personality disorder now you’re all in this little bible
34:08 wasn’t that funny bob maureen gannon was the state required
34:14 teacher on the children’s ward she spent several hours with john every day
34:20 he said john was mpd right they said john was in a multiple personality that
34:25 he had a multiple personality disorder did you see that no i did not see that
34:31 but i felt that that was a lack of my own training i wasn’t trained as a psychology psychiatrist and when they
34:37 would talk about the various personalities and the subtle differences of them i did not see those
34:47 i couldn’t have told you the difference i could not have pointed out and said this was this personality and this was
34:53 that personality at any time he seemed the same basically to you seem like a kid
35:00 patty’s younger son mikey was hospitalized seven months after his brother
35:06 dr braun became very concerned about the first halloween coming up 1986
35:13 and he’s he told us that unless mikey was in the hospital
35:18 he was in mortal danger mikey was then admitted to the hospital on an emergency
35:24 basis he was four years old patty and her children who were housed
35:30 in different parts of the hospital got together in therapy sessions patti remembers them
35:36 as the sticker sessions i was supposed to do everything that i could do to encourage and support the children in
35:43 the telling of these yucky secrets and the more yucky secrets they were able
35:48 to tell the more stickers they got for that day so the kids were real motivated to do this as well
35:55 excerpts from the child psychiatrists notes john talked about being threatened that
36:01 someone in his family would be killed if he didn’t obey orders two stickers and another
36:09 john related an incident where a black woman was seized by the cult and choked to death afterwards victim was barbecued three
36:17 stickers in this california trial where dr braun testified as an expert witness
36:24 he used an example from one of john’s sticker sessions to stress the validity of satanic abuse
36:29 of children i had one child who was just five years old talk to me about what is life to stick a
36:36 knife in somebody’s abdomen and pull it down and how the intestines pop out i mean they just blow out
36:43 and what it smells like the discussion that day was surrounding um john cutting open
36:50 this man’s stomach and dr braun was pumping john for some
36:56 details about how did this happen what was it like and john said how he took this knife and
37:04 he stuck it in this man and how he cut it and cut the man and how his
37:11 his stomach popped open and how it smelled terrible in the description of that having done
37:17 surgery myself i know what it’s like to open in the belly and if the anesthesia isn’t done right and the muscle relaxant isn’t done right
37:23 that’s exactly what happens the bowels come right out through the wound and this here’s a five-year-old that can describe to me something i know
37:29 something about and have it perfectly as far as i can the kids went back to the unit they got
37:35 their stickers that day and john got extra stickers because he did such a good good story here and i told dr bronn i
37:42 said wait a minute wait a minute you know hearing him i know that’s not real
37:48 because i know that’s a scene from a star a star wars movie
37:56 where luke skywalker cuts open this beast he was riding and all the guts spill out and it smells
38:03 really terrible [Music] i thought they smelled bad on the
38:10 outside and when i heard john talet i knew he was telling me the story from the movie
38:17 dr brian wouldn’t believe it what does a five-year-old learn about this not many five-year-olds go in operating
38:23 rooms of all the members of the burgess family only the boy’s father michael was not
38:30 thought to have been involved in the cult what did you make of it all well
38:37 as far as i can you know determine from uh from you know what patty had said and what the doctors
38:43 had said the boys were supposed to be being trained by patty to participate in
38:48 cult activities and then at some future they’d take over uh i guess a leadership role in this
38:54 cult and when did they first get into the cult
39:00 that you know shortly after birth i uh you know they were supposedly been trained as even a small
39:07 infants to to uh to do these kinds of satanic rituals to
39:12 do the murders uh you know to to kill other children and they were supposed to have been trained to do all that
39:19 but how could that have happened if you didn’t know about it i i i that’s what had me confused and
39:26 and uh you know as things started uh you know getting into a regular routine
39:32 of all you know every every week every day there was a new memory coming up you know after my initial you know shock
39:38 and [ __ ] and really fear because i was afraid for for my family’s life
39:45 it it became more and more difficult to believe all the stuff that happened did you ever
39:51 ask dr braun where the bodies were why there was no evidence why well of course
39:56 those were the the questions why aren’t you doing something about this how come the police aren’t being involved in this
40:02 and the answer of course was that that they were gathering evidence to be able to crack into this
40:08 very secretive and dangerous cult and that people had you know gone into
40:13 it under cover and had been killed or had been um actually drawn into the cult themself
40:20 and that that they were gathering evidence so that they could do something about it and the reason why it was never
40:26 uncovered was because these people ate the evidence so that there wasn’t any evidence and that there
40:32 were doctors involved with this so that there were cover-ups as far as um you know medical findings and things
40:40 so there were always answers for every question that everybody had you know that seemed reasonable
40:50 the burger’s children were hospitalized for almost three years
40:55 our five-year-old john who went in was there for 39 months
41:01 and mikey was brought into the hospital at four years old and he was kept on a children’s psychiatric unit
41:07 for 32 months from the time i entered the hospital until we got the children out of the
41:14 hospital by court order it was 1200 days and how much money
41:20 we each had one million dollar insurance policy that was almost completely topped out
41:28 so we’re looking at three million dollars this is a partial list of the burgess
41:34 family’s hospital bills their bill for medication alone was in
41:39 the tens of thousands of dollars hospital room and board was well over a million dollars
41:46 mary’s hospital bills also amounted to millions of dollars the rough estimate of just adding up
41:53 what hospital bills we do have and therapy bills that we do have it’s um over two and a half
41:59 million did you paid my insurance company paid out that amount of money
42:07 the cost of mary’s care at spring shadow’s glenn averaged twelve hundred dollars a day
42:12 according to the staff this was not unusual the unit was very profitable because
42:19 it was billed at an intensive care rate rather than the normal rate on another unit
42:26 and these patients stayed for long periods of time
42:32 dr jack leggett is a clinical psychologist who used to review mental health claims for insurance companies
42:38 around the country beginning in the late 1980s he noticed a startling pattern in the claims
42:44 involving mpd patients most of them had generous insurance policies
42:51 the focus was generally on patients with very rich benefits plans and i would find in some cases that
42:58 large numbers of people from single employers with those types
43:05 of plans would suddenly be presenting with this diagnosis an incidence
43:10 of multiple personality way beyond anything
43:15 reasonable that could be expected for a given population of individuals so
43:21 there was a targeting of the richer benefits plants
43:26 dr leggett discovered that questioning the bills of mpd patients could have unpleasant consequences i
43:35 was met with the most hostile responses that i came across in all the years i’d done
43:41 any kind of case management or clinical supervision beginning with discounting the
43:47 credibility of myself and the board certified experienced psychiatrists
43:52 and psychologists that i used extending on to
43:58 rather strange suggestions at times that i might be in somehow related to
44:05 these satanic cults or the organizations i worked for hospital staff also felt threatened that
44:12 if you resisted the psychologist and the psychiatrist
44:18 you might be labeled as one of the cult and that happened to some people
44:23 that they were considered cult members and so you never quite knew when you
44:29 might get labeled for that too it’s kind of like a witch hunt
44:34 according to dr leggett a lot of money was being spent while the patients were not getting any
44:40 better there’s sort of a cliche you have to get worse before you get better
44:46 the problem was people got worse without getting better
44:52 [Applause] mary was getting much worse
45:01 it was a snake pit it was like hell
45:10 i’m sure that i would die there sooner or later and probably sooner
45:23 somehow i had just gotten lost and no one out there will even know that
45:30 i’m i’m gone mary had been in houston for two years
45:37 when her insurance company began to push for a change in status she was to be moved permanently to a
45:42 nursing home somehow she says she gathered enough strength to resist
45:49 i wasn’t going um i refused to go i decided that i had nothing to lose
45:57 i had lost everything i everything i decided i just wanted to to leave and
46:04 take my chances according to mary the hospital agreed to
46:09 release her on the condition that she get herself a sophisticated security system to protect her from the cult and that
46:15 she find a therapist on the outside the doctor that i was released to
46:22 i continued to go to therapy with him and it wasn’t very long before
46:29 he he he said on my second visit he said do you like being multiple and i said no i hate
46:34 it it’s awful you know i’m really working to integrate all these parts and he says
46:40 you don’t have to be multiple anymore you can just stop just stop stop working
46:48 stop thinking about it we’re we’ll we’ll just work on getting you
46:53 physically healthy because i was in awful awful physical health
47:00 um and getting you off this medication because i had to go through all the
47:06 withdrawal and he said that’s enough we don’t need to work on your personalities
47:12 you don’t have to be multiple anymore when i stopped working on it
47:17 they it just it dissipated the memory started to stop
47:22 i found out that i could go outside my apartment and no one i never got shot at i could go to the
47:28 grocery store i never got poisoned i could make telephone calls i wasn’t
47:35 being taped nothing was happening it stopped because i stopped following dr
47:43 braun’s orders i stopped taking the medication and i stopped he stopped being involved in the
47:48 hypnosis and when my head started to clear after
47:56 detoxing off of all of that medicine and my critical thinking skills started
48:02 to return the switching stopped all these goofy things that were going on weren’t
48:10 happening anymore and i was able to finally take a look at
48:15 this and say you know wait a minute where are all these bodies
48:21 where are all these people that are supposed to be involved in this cult it took months and a court order to get
48:28 the hospital to release paddy’s two sons who the child psychiatrist claimed needed long-term
48:35 institutionalization today john is 15 and mikey 13.
48:42 their young boys are starting to go through puberty you know how’s this going to affect them
48:49 john now was just uh mainstreaming into uh into a regular uh junior high school mikey still goes to a
48:55 special school it’s just had a a very large impact it’s
49:01 like there’s been a hole in in in their in their life you know in
49:06 a normal period of growing up it’s like large chunk is just taken and is missing
49:13 [Applause] mary was not as lucky as the burgess family who ended up together
49:21 when she got out of the hospital in texas and returned home to chicago she found her husband and son who had
49:27 been in treatment with dr sax still believed that she was a member of a cult and intent on killing them she was still
49:35 listed with the state of illinois as a child abuser her husband had filed for divorce
49:41 there’s a emptiness there’s a void that i’ll never be able to fill
49:47 and until they stop until they stop the therapy with dr sachs
49:54 they will they won’t be able to get get out of this mindset
50:00 in april of 1995 mary met with ryan and joe at a court-appointed psychiatrist
50:06 office she had not seen her son in four years he was reluctant to talk to her
50:12 and did not want to see her again in the end the psychiatrist dr alan
50:18 rabbits produced a report for the court it reads i am of the firm opinion that mary’s
50:24 initial difficulties were not a manifestation of multiple personality disorders secondary to ritualistic abuse
50:32 nevertheless joe and ryan continue to believe the cult abuse explanation
50:38 both of them have placed their trust in mental health professionals who genuinely believe that mary was both
50:44 a victim and a perpetrator of this abuse continued treatment with the current
50:50 mental health treatment team even if issues of abuse are not addressed covertly perpetuates the
50:56 belief system that has destroyed this family
51:01 are they evil i don’t know how anyone could
51:10 know what is known now and have see what it has done to families this my family was not the first family
51:17 this had been going on for 15 years and i i now know of stories
51:23 almost exactly like my story that were 10 years before this under the same people
51:28 under the same doctors in the same hospitals so they knew what was going on and they
51:34 still continued to do it um were they evil i think that’s pretty evil
51:44 the dissociative disorders unit at spring shadows glenn hospital was shut down by the state in 1992
51:51 well sometimes i think judith peterson still sees patients in private practice she is being sued by 10 former patients
51:58 including mary s frontline asked dr peterson for an interview
52:04 but in an exchange of letters with her lawyer could not agree to the conditions she requested the history of these
52:10 meetings dr bennett braun and dr roberta sax declined to be interviewed for this program
52:16 they are still heading their dissociative disorders unit at rush hospital in chicago which remains one of the leading centers
52:22 for the treatment of multiple personality disorders they have been sued by several of their
52:27 former patients the burgers family and mary s among them being that we owe a tremendous
52:33 debt of gratitude to dr brown [Applause]
52:40 after seven years investigating claims of ritual abuse the fbi concluded there is little or no
52:47 evidence for allegations that deal with large-scale baby breeding human sacrifice and organized satanic
52:54 conspiracies it is up to mental health professionals not law enforcement
53:00 to explain why victims are alleging things that don’t seem to have happened
53:08 dear frontline last night i saw your show you can interact with frontline by
53:14 sending your comments by fax to 617-254-0243
53:20 via the internet at frontline wgbh.org and by letter to dear frontline 125
53:28 western avenue boston massachusetts 02134
53:35 and next time why is corporate america spending billions of dollars in
53:40 cyberspace welcome want to find out everything they can about you
53:45 somewhere in your computer you’ll know the movies i’ve seen you might be listened to you’ll know the clothes i’ve watched they’re gonna know what you like you
53:51 will know more about me than even the government big brother watching over then maybe even my wife
53:57 and it’s a little scary watch high stakes in cyberspace next time on front line
54:03 [Music] it was a snake pit it was like hell
54:17 i’m sure that i would die there sooner or later and probably sooner
54:29 [Music]
55:23 [Applause] funding for frontline is provided by the corporation for public broadcasting
55:31 and by annual financial support from viewers like you [Music]
55:36 frontline is produced for the documentary consortium by wgbh boston which is solely responsible for
55:42 its content
55:49 for video cassette information about this program please call this toll-free number 1-800-328-pbs
Priscilla raised by nephilim, talks to dan duval, with amanda buys
[1c] Twinned and Raised by Nephilim: The Testimony of Priscilla featuring Amanda Buys
Shownotes with Transcript after
This week on Discovering Truth we are welcoming back Priscilla and Amanda Buys, this time Priscilla will share her testimony. Daniel will talk about regions of captivity and give prayer materials to come against connections to constellations and earth systems. Amanda explains the experience of witnessing the torment symbiotic bonds had on Priscilla. Priscilla will be expressing her strong desire to want to know God intimately… don’t miss this show!
TRIGGER WARNING: This is not a program for the faint of heart, nor is it one that you will want to miss if you can handle the truth. There will be a few graphic descriptions. This podcast will contain information about subjects that may be difficult or inappropriate for some audiences including young children.
About Amanda Buys:
Amanda and her husband, Roly, have been working in the areas of deliverance and satanic ritual abuse (SRA) for many years and have compiled an impressive assortment of tools and prayers that have helped thousands around the planet.
About Priscilla:
Priscilla is a survivor of satanic ritual abuse (SRA) who is on her own healing journey with Jesus. She has had encounters with Nephilim and has a wide knowledge of the deep, dark secrets of the occult world. Her testimony about being a mermaid and Jesus’ healing are truly eye-opening and powerful.
Expect to hear Amanda and Priscilla talk about:
The “5 I Wills” in Isaiah being a part of a ritual to choose to serve Satan
The duplication of babies to be used for sacrifices, rituals, or switching
The cult using frozen embryos for artificial wombs and surrogates
The mind of Satan is over many members of the cult for them to continue doing evil
The nephilims being put into the womb with fetuses to make them spiritually sensitive
The rituals that the cult uses to build up pre-Adamic iniquity
The swap between Priscilla and her twin sister at age four
The symbiotic bond between Priscilla’s sister caused her to relive the sacrifice
The traumatic experiences throughout the process of being conceived and being birthed
And so many more truths…
Truths from the Podcast:
“The reason why I’m saying this is that for my conception, for example, and the conception of other survivors that I have come to know over the last years. Some of those conceptions go back to the late 40’s or mid-40’s. Where they were frozen and put into a blue bowl and just kept in a frozen state. And something that is really important to consider is that sometimes people have memories that are before their lifetime. For example, I am 34-years-old, in my body, my body is 34-years-old. But because my conception was way before that, I can have memories that do not make sense to me. That I’m like well, I wasn’t there when Mengele died, yet I seem to have memories of it? I wasn’t there when Queen Elizabeth was coronated, yet I seem to have memories of it. Like my spirit memories… so when you have people that are talking about these kinds of things, it is possible because you were in a frozen state.” Priscilla
“I’ve had other survivors report to me that when they killed the baby, they were wearing jewels, inherited jewels. Like the “family jewels”, so I said “oh? Is it the Romanov’s?” because Anastasia in 1944 Hitler Project… the jewels that she was wearing are the Romanov jewels. And every little 13-year-old in that bloodline, part of that project, would put on the jewels at thirteen. It’s rings, it’s very expensive diamonds, gold and so this little 13-year-old is dressed up. And its ballroom, and you’ve got ballroom gowns, and its people in the upper stairs watching this whole thing like a theatre and she’s being led down these steps with all these jewels. And then as she kills, she’s got to kill in such a way that there’s lots of blood. That the blood splashes onto the jewels so that she’s the next generation that is in line; that is hating God, that makes a choice against God, that is part of the antichrist system. And it is so important that the jewels have to be splashed with blood, and that then gives her that authority and the ranking. For her then to move into the adulthood of starting to hurt other children, killing, assassins, whatever the assignment is, but they move them into being very, very dangerous. Attacking, they have been trained so well to attack ministries, to come into our bedrooms, to teleport and come in and do their thing, to come and attack you. So, they are so well trained, so the 13-year-old is key. It’s probably of the last parts that you get to so then you know when you’ve reached the 13-year-old because she’s the most hidden, she’s the most angry. And she is the ‘the mother’ that gives birth to the nephilim child.” Amanda Buys
“Years ago, we discovered that we had to get people untethered from constellations. But shortly after that I realized I have to get people delivered from jet streams, from physical locations around the world that they’ve never traveled to in the natural. It’s a quantum entanglement that involves the DNA…what you’re bringing up is a key, because this is actually how this bondage was instated in people. And it makes me wonder just how many people may be the subject of what you are talking about. That they are an egg that is not planted for years and years, ritualized only to be planted at an important time so that the power of the iniquity can be multiplied prior to birth.” Daniel Duval
Keys scriptures from the show: Philippians 1:6 and Isaiah 14:13-14.
About Discovering Truth:
Discovering Truth with Dan Duval is a weekly podcast that was launched in 2012. It began as an investigation into conspiracy, the developing New World Order, and subjects related to end-times Bible prophecy.
Over the years, it has evolved to include a strong outreach to survivors suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) due to satanic ritual abuse (SRA) and government-sponsored mind control. This program also exposes the Illuminati from the inside out, featuring many testimonies of Illuminati defectors. In addition, there is a huge focus on the Kingdom of God, victorious living, inner healing, and deliverance.
We’ve been left on another cliffhanger! Be on the lookout for the rest of Priscilla’s story… Stay tuned!
For any other resources or materials that you would like to find from Amanda, visit her website at kanaanministries.org. You can also listen to her previous podcasts on Discovering Truth:
17 Dec 2020Introducing… Priscilla’s Story This week on Discovering Truth we are welcoming back Priscilla and Amanda Buys, this time Priscilla will share her testimony. Daniel will talk about regions of captivity and give prayer materials to come against connections to constellations and earth systems. Amanda explains the experience of witnessing the torment symbiotic bonds had on Priscilla. Priscilla will be expressing her strong desire to want to know God intimately… don’t miss this show! TRIGGER WARNING: This is not a program for the faint of heart, nor is it one that you will want to miss if you can handle the truth. There will be a few graphic descriptions. This podcast will contain information about subjects that may be difficult or inappropriate for some audiences including young children. About Amanda Buys: Amanda and her husband, Roly, have been working in the areas of deliverance and satanic ritual abuse (SRA) for many years and have compiled an impressive assortment of tools and prayers that have helped thousands around the planet. About Priscilla: Priscilla is a survivor of satanic ritual abuse (SRA) who is on her own healing journey with Jesus. She has had encounters with Nephilim and has a wide knowledge of the deep, dark secrets of the occult world. Her testimony about being a mermaid and Jesus’ healing are truly eye-opening and powerful. Expect to hear Amanda and Priscilla talk about: • The “5 I Wills” in Isaiah being a part of a ritual to choose to serve Satan • The duplication of babies to be used for sacrifices, rituals, or switching • The cult using frozen embryos for artificial wombs and surrogates • The mind of Satan is over many members of the cult for them to continue doing evil • The nephilim being put into the womb with fetuses to make them spiritually sensitive • The rituals that the cult uses to build up pre-Adamic iniquity • The swap between Priscilla and her twin sister at age four • The symbiotic bond between Priscilla’s sister caused her to relive the sacrifice • The traumatic experiences throughout the process of being conceived and being birthed And so many more truths… Truths from the Podcast: 1. “The reason why I’m saying this is that for my conception, for example, and the conception of other survivors that I have come to know over the last years. Some of those conceptions go back to the late 40’s or mid-40’s. Where they were frozen and put into a blue bowl and just kept in a frozen state. And something that is really important to consider is that sometimes people have memories that are before their lifetime. For example, I am 34-years-old, in my body, my body is 34-years-old. But because my conception was way before that, I can have memories that do not make sense to me. That I’m like well, I wasn’t there when Mengele died, yet I seem to have memories of it? I wasn’t there when Queen Elizabeth was coronated, yet I seem to have memories of it. Like my spirit memories… so when you have people that are talking about these kinds of things, it is possible because you were in a frozen state.” Priscilla 2. Referenced materials: Priscilla shared this link about a Baby girl born from record-setting 27-year-old embryo – BBC News (bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-55164607). 3. Prayers: You can find the two prayers Daniel mentioned, Freedom from Constellations and Freedom from Earth Systems, at the Deliverance Portal (deliverance.bridemovement.com). 4. Keys scriptures from the show: Philippians 1:6 and Isaiah 14:13-14. About Discovering Truth: Discovering Truth with Dan Duval is a weekly podcast that was launched in 2012. It began as an investigation into conspiracy, the developing New World Order, and subjects related to end-times Bible prophecy. Over the years, it has evolved to include a strong outreach to survivors suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) due to satanic ritual abuse (SRA) and government-sponsored mind control. This program also exposes the Illuminati from the inside out, featuring many testimonies of Illuminati defectors. In addition, there is a huge focus on the Kingdom of God, victorious living, inner healing, and deliverance. New episodes are released every Thursday on our website, YouTube, BlogTalk Radio, iTunes, and many other websites. More from Amanda Buys & Priscilla: We’ve been left on another cliffhanger! Be on the lookout for the rest of Priscilla’s story… Stay tuned! For any other resources or materials that you would like to find from Amanda, visit her website at kanaanministries.org. You can also listen to her previous podcasts on Discovering Truth: SRA, Spirit Children, and Victory in Christ with Amanda Buys The Hitler Project, Hybrids and Kabbalah with Amanda Buys Merfolk, Underwater Kingdoms, and the Mysteries of the Deep Part 1 Merfolk, Underwater Kingdoms, and the Mysteries of the Deep Part 2 Merfolk, Underwater Kingdoms, and the Mysteries of the Deep Part 3 Merfolk, Underwater Kingdoms, and the Mysteries of the Deep Part 4
ou’re listening to discovering truth with dan duvall
0:19folks it is my pleasure to make available to you another episode of
0:26discovering truth with dan deval featuring my friends priscilla from
0:33the netherlands and amanda byes from south africa and guys we have
0:39uh had an a whole series of podcasts together this year and you guys have enjoyed them and let us
0:46know about it and i am going to encourage anyone that’s listening to this like wait a
0:52minute who are these friends priscilla and amanda i haven’t heard about them go back into our archives
0:57broadmovement.com we have a podcast page where you can search all of our podcasts you can put
1:04in mermaid because that’s what we were talking about we were talking about mermaids we were talking about the fact
1:11that priscilla the person i am sitting down with today in the time of her service to the
1:18kingdom of darkness could shape-shift into a mermaid go into the deep areas of the sea and did all kinds of
1:24missions and assignments which we’ve already discussed and so be sure to hear
1:29all of that now today uh priscilla and amanda are joining me
1:35again because we are going to be talking about priscilla’s life a lot of you have asked
1:41what kind of a life does a person live in order to get to the level of
1:47darkness that priscilla was delivered from uh how is it that she
1:53was raised by nephilim for parents but how do we connect the dots
1:58on her conception because we kind of dropped knowledge bombs along the way
2:05but didn’t connect the dots and so that is what we are here to do today and and by the way
2:10amanda buys and her husband they operate canaan ministries out of south africa that’s k-a-n-a-a-n ministries and
2:18uh they are doing an amazing job with survivors they have made so many prayer
2:25resources and teaching materials available to help people and have blessed countless lives and so we’re very
2:31excited about everything that they continue to do in the name of jesus so uh priscilla welcome back to
2:37discovering truth thanks dan it’s really great to be back again
2:43amanda it is so good to have you back on the show thank you then it’s good it’s really
2:50very good to see that’s your journey to journey together and to learn and to share what we learn it’s great
2:57it’s really a blessing and a privilege well i’ll tell you what guys one of the
3:03things that i appreciate about priscilla and amanda is that before these podcasts they always supply me with pictures
3:10and this helps with the storytelling and so you know priscilla as we get into your
3:16story and tying some of these pieces of your incredible
3:21testimony together you’ve given me this picture that works as a bit of a timeline and so i’m going to
3:29just go ahead and put that up and let you start walking us into this understanding
3:36yeah thanks thanks then um yeah it is really extremely hard
3:42to give a testimony about everything that has happened in in
3:50in my life just because that because they program you and they split
3:57you in so many people it’s it’s like i have
4:02you know like 10 lifetimes inside of one body and it’s it’s such a story and
4:10and i mean all honor and praise goes to god because he is the one who
4:16has been able to make sense of it and who still makes sense of it because you know for me sometimes i
4:22i often don’t even understand my own story um where i’m trying to to put the pieces together and
4:30god is faithful but when it’s it’s that scripture is just one sentence in
4:36philippians i think that when god starts something he finishes it
4:41and and i have seen that happening in my life uh every time again he is faithful and
4:49and he um helps us um to walk the path not just me but other
4:55survivors as well so when you told me about the request of of some of the listeners
5:01uh to to uh connect the dots i was like okay where do i start
5:07and i you know at some point the light just went on i was like well why
5:12don’t we just start from the beginning and i just go through through it and amanda will just jump in
5:19uh when when she feels i’m forgetting something or i have to add something and um we have a dear friend her name
5:27her name is ellie and she she has done some awesome pictures i
5:33already showed a few the last time she really has a gift of drawing and not
5:39just drawing beautiful and nice pictures but she she draws the awful stuff
5:44and she does it you know she has gone through it herself and god has given her the gift to to
5:51draw it so i’ve taken a few pictures of her actually um that we go through
5:57but this first picture is a timeline where um where you see
6:04how the life of a survivor um basically is being drawn out and i
6:12thought this is a good place to start because um you know in the cold
6:19and when i refer to the cult i i i mean it can be the new world or the new world
6:25order the illuminati however you want to call it but my my name for it is the cult so
6:32when they um [Music] when they work on survivors or their
6:38projects it’s it’s their protocols and
6:43and um even though i am a unique person and god has made me
6:49uniquely to the code i’m just a project or a number and i go through protocols in in my life
6:57and many survivors will recognize these protocols
7:02that i have went through as well and so when when i’m telling this story
7:08probably a lot of people went through the same things as i went through they they recognize uh some of the things
7:14that that i will talk about so you see a few
7:20um pictures here of course you start with the conception
7:25and it goes all the way back to where you see just the stars of 65 years old
7:32and every star signifies a seal so
7:39from you see from 13 years old you see the stars one star two stars and then
7:44three four and five stars this is this is where you get sealed
7:49into um a next level um of authority or becoming higher up
7:56in in them in the cold also as a nephilim mother so i will get back
8:02to that later so to start with conception
8:08um i i sent you a link that i just want to for your listeners
8:15to get out there as well um this was released on the on the news yesterday
8:23this is um this is on the bbc you can find it on other websites as well
8:29um this baby was conceived 27 years ago
8:38and she was um put on ice frozen and 27 years later
8:46she was uh implanted in a um womb of um
8:54of a woman obviously and um and born and this is groundbreaking news because
9:01this is the world record for how long a embryo has been frozen and still
9:08um uh able to to to get to a living baby now
9:15the reason why i want to show this is that this is done with technology that has
9:21been released to our society and the technology that we see and and you
9:29know that then and it’s old it’s it the technology that we
9:34see is at least 30 years old so just imagine that 30 years ago
9:40they were already able to freeze an embryo and and and put it on ice and have it
9:46been born later on think of how old that technology was then so
9:55they have been able to do this for quite a while and the reason why i’m saying this is
10:01that for my conception for example and and conception of other survivors that i
10:08have come to know over the last years some of those conceptions go back
10:14to the late 40s and um it dead or mid-40s even where
10:21where it um where they were frozen and and put into
10:27a a blue bowl and and just kept in a frozen state
10:33and that is something that is really important to
10:40consider that sometimes people have memories that are from before their lifetime so
10:47for example i’m i’m 34 years old in my like in my body my body is 34 years old
10:55but because my conception was way before that i can have memories
11:01that do not make sense to me that i’m like well i i wasn’t
11:08there when mengele died yet i seem to have memories of it i wasn’t there when
11:16queen elizabeth was was coronated is that a good word yet i seem
11:23to have memories of it like my spirit memories and and
11:28um so when you have people that are talking about these kind of
11:34things it is possible because because they’re what you were in
11:39a frozen state and i i put a picture it’s picture number two i think um
11:45that has the frozen ball that um well the ball isn’t frozen but inside is the is the frozen embryo
11:54yeah this is conception and then this just after conception this is how i experienced it this kind
12:01of um it it felt as if i was put into a blue kind of bowl that was
12:08highly charged and it was both it was both freezing and burning
12:14at the same time it was a very very weird experience and the
12:22the interesting thing is that we all have a beginning
12:29and and we know that conception is the moment that that the spirit of
12:35a human being is assigned to to the sperm and oven that that just
12:42have become a person and so i consider
12:49that to be my beginning my my conception but my conception
12:57you know when they use ivf and things like that they they do this
13:04it’s not a circumstance where a a man and a woman love each other and they have
13:10intercourse and a baby is born out of or created out of love this is very much
13:17thought about thought through and they have this bloodline combined with
13:23dust plotline and they put it together and the moment conception takes place
13:31a huge ritual will happen and that ritual will download
13:38all the iniquity of those bloodlines that that go back all the way to
13:46to came like back to the fall they will they will that is how they select the bloodlines
13:51because if you want to if they want to create high level
13:57um programmed people they they work on the bloodline
14:05so they they select the these bloodlines have been have been um
14:11how do you say that um selected all through the years and and
14:18um and with this bloodline
14:24all the iniquity is being downloaded on this like few cells it’s just a few cells
14:31that that was just created and you can imagine that this is really
14:37traumatic for for this these few cells
14:42and what happens at that moment and this is really important to understand
14:48for survivors but also for counselors when this happens there is already
14:55a lot of shattering happening because you were not meant as a person
15:02as a just created few cells to get all these iniquities downloaded
15:10upon you so when i look back to this in my spirit and and um and i see what happened what
15:18i see is i see as if there is a huge explosion of star like stardust or gold
15:25dust and it’s my my spirit that just entered my body
15:31was just shattered in in in this huge amount of dust
15:38and they take that dust and they assign it to different places
15:43they assigned us to different dimensions to different uh places on the earth and they
15:50they use that for their own purposes and um and the spirit
15:58that is still attached to to the cells that grows further along
16:05with the body but already a big part of that spirit has been shattered and they
16:13so this is very important to understand that that is how they could do so many things
16:20with a person because they already have a lot of the humanity of of of me in this case
16:29and um so as you go from conception
16:36depending on how many years you you stay in that frozen state you you are being brought to rituals you’re being
16:43um like they use their crafts the one that we already talked about before
16:49and they bring you to all these places and they are rituals and more of that dust is being released
16:57over those places and because you know your spirit isn’t made to go
17:04through this and and so it just shatters and um so
17:12that is how they attach humanity of me in this case
17:18to certain places on the earth so if we talk about antarctica how how
17:25did i know where to find antarctica when i was first dropped in the ocean
17:31it was i just went to find my humanity i knew something of me was there so i
17:37followed it and that’s where i got and this is how that is how i got there
17:43can i just add one thing yeah sure uh i okay i’m gonna pose this as a
17:50question do you think this also includes locations
17:56off planet as well such as rituals on the dark side of the moon titan moon of
18:02saturn other significant locations in other galaxies for instance orion maybe
18:11yeah well i mean that’s a good rhetorical question it’s i mean obviously yes that’s where they
18:17where they put that um because part of humanity part of your humanity
18:24is being stuck to those places and and it make it’s it’s part of me
18:33so when they so let’s say they put a um
18:41let’s say part of my humanity is attached to the dark side of the moon and they want
18:47me to go there what they would do is they would kind of like
18:52activate that part of my humanity as if it’s a little light shining in the darkness
18:58and the only thing i would have to do is is is follow it and go to there because that
19:04is it’s part of me so it’s so easy for me to go there that that is how how they do it
19:12and does that answer your question you know and this is an interesting
19:17thing priscilla and i’m just going to let you continue this is so fascinating years ago we discovered
19:23that we had to get people untethered from constellations right but shortly after that i realized
19:31i have to get people untethered from jet streams from physical locations around the world
19:36that they’re telling me they’ve never traveled to in the natural life and it’s it’s a quantum entanglement
19:43it involves the dna i have two prayers in this book prayers that shake heaven and earth freedom from constellations and another
19:49one called freedom from earth systems and i have seen
19:55extraordinary i mean i i use freedom from earth systems almost as often as i
20:00eat lunch i mean it’s just every day i’m seeing this prayer setting people
20:06free from stuff and uh what you’re bringing up is a key because it’s actually
20:14how this bondage wasn’t stated in people and it makes me wonder just how many
20:22people may be the subject of what you’re talking about in that they are
20:27a an egg that that that is not implanted for years and years
20:34ritualized only to be implanted at an appointed time so that the power and the iniquity can
20:39be multiplied prior to you know birth and so
20:44please continue oh that that’s true what you’re saying and um actually before we ever met
20:52before um with amanda i went through a few counseling sessions where i prayed
21:00through the freedom from constellations prayer um i already bought the book then and um
21:09it was powerful for me to i had a powerful release in the beginning i could hardly
21:14speak it out loud like i really had to um work through it through that prayer a
21:21couple times actually and so yeah that was a big blessing actually
21:27so thank you but um so yeah that is that is how they
21:33um attach you to places on the earth places outside of the earth dimensions and
21:40um but then there comes a time when they feel it’s right for you to
21:47to be put um into a um artificial womb or a human womb
21:54and um well that obviously comes with trauma as well i already
22:00talked about that the last time with the with the artificial wombs and how they
22:06installed the artificial energy system you know the alpha omega
22:12chakra so a lot of rituals and and things happen over those um in the
22:19time that you’re being uh grown in in a in the womb and um
22:28what is also um interesting about this is that
22:34especially when you’re um in a in a artificial womb i’m not sure how it
22:40works in a human womb but what they would do is they they sometimes implant you
22:49with a with another fetus but this is not always a
22:56human fetus so for my in my example what i know
23:03is that i was um [Music] they put me together with a nephilim um
23:10inside so already from that moment while you’re growing
23:16you’re you have to fight for your life not just because of all the experiments that they’re doing
23:22on you but also because there is something in that same area where you’re trying to
23:28to stay alive that is trying to to kill you to to eat you or whatever it’s trying
23:36to do and and they do it on purpose because they give that hybrid or whatever it is they give
23:42it an assignment it’s not it’s it’s not necessarily there to kill you
23:48but it’s there to push you to to already get your fighting system
23:55out because you’re fighting uh against this thing all the time and it makes you
24:02spiritually very sensitive because this hybrid is loaded with with uh entities that it that
24:10that it’s connected to so you’re already working on this spiritual level when
24:16you’re you’re not even born yet so that is where survivors
24:23are are so sensitive to the spirit world often it’s because you know you’re
24:29being grown into that into that world and um and then when you when you get
24:38born when my my birth was very traumatic and i every survivor’s um
24:46birth is very traumatic um i remember that i started to get these memories
24:53back and and later on i would talk to other survivors or i heard other stories
25:00and and it was like it’s so weird because yes my story is unique
25:08but then i would hear another survivor and it was like that that’s what happened to
25:14me you know and and there are yes there are different details but it’s kind of the
25:21same so what they did with me is i was i was
25:27in a in an artificial room but then they placed me in a um in a woman that had just
25:35given birth with a c-section and they put me back in and
25:42this woman was bleeding to death and they basically i just had to
25:49fight my way to crawl out of this dying woman so what i was experiencing
25:56the life flowing away of this woman i was trying to not die myself
26:03and um and and i had to crawl out of this this place and when
26:12i survived that what happened is i don’t ask me how they do is made but
26:17maybe maybe somebody knows how they do this but they do like a quick um
26:26somehow you know they crack open the ribs and they they get a lot of the flesh and stuff
26:32away or the organs they get them away and that has been my for like the
26:37first few months of my life so i had to um yeah
26:44like that was my grip so that was you get
26:51very um bonded with death and and
26:58and um everything that that happens around that like the the the things you
27:05smell the things you the spiritual stuff that happens and
27:10that was very traumatic when i got to these memories and i think
27:16amanda remembers that probably pretty well because the body memories were
27:21were pretty intense and um yeah it was it wasn’t pretty um
27:31and you know the reason you wonder why do they do this what’s what’s why
27:39and the conclusion that i got it’s it’s
27:44they have the mind of satan and and everything that that god
27:51has thought of that a human being should experience in a good way
27:58and being safe and and being welcome and being uh loved
28:04it’s it’s he took it and did the opposite and and and that is what what happened
28:10with with me and people like me so um it’s just
28:17part of what they do and it’s it’s part of the conditioning that you go
28:23through as you as you grow up in the cult because not everything is programming
28:31and that that maybe that doesn’t make sense but you
28:36know you cannot program a person if there has not been
28:42proper conditioning so they condition
28:47a baby to to not be able to to make good bonding
28:53proper bonding only trauma bonding and and bonding to to the wrong people because if
29:01if a if if you as a baby learn how to bond in a good way
29:07then the programming will not be as strong it it will be it will be a lot weaker
29:14because it gives you strength to have proper bonding to to be able to be assertive for example
29:20and um if you if they they condition you
29:28in in your emotions not not crying in your anger in in um
29:35knowing that it doesn’t why would i cry nothing is gonna i’m only getting punished if i cry so why would i cry
29:43so if if they condition you in that way once they start programming you they
29:48will have a much stronger foundation to work from so that is what happened the first
29:57first year one and a half year of of of uh after i was born it’s it’s the
30:03conditioning it’s horrific conditions that is the also the time that i lived with the
30:09nephilim um there are different places on the earth
30:14where there are nephilim cities call it that way um
30:21we talked about antarctica already and and um uh under the temple mount in jerusalem
30:28is such a place and um growing up with with this is
30:36um it’s truly i think the most horrific thing that you
30:42can go through as a human being because it it goes it’s beyond torture
30:50it’s you know torture has a beginning and an end usually but living with the nephilim
30:57it is you’re living with beings that are not human
31:02that have no conscience that have a deep deep hatred towards everything that
31:08represents or that looks like god almighty which includes humans
31:14and um and they they are
31:22um how do you say that their emotions because i know a lot of people seem to
31:29think that hybrids or nephilim they don’t have emotions
31:34but i strongly disagree with that because they have emotions that
31:44are um
31:50no human should ever ever be subject to their emotions because
31:56it’s it’s pure satanic they have satanic hatred
32:01satanic rage satanic um uh how do you say that disgust
32:09and and it’s it’s not on a human level that they have these emotions and
32:16and as a human being exposed to this is is very traumatic and very the only
32:23way for me to survive was to become
32:28a nephilim so in my mind i i decided that i can’t be a human
32:36i i shouldn’t be a human because i will not survive this if if i’m a
32:42human and and that is where i just decided to to to be a nephilim and when i get to
32:50that sorry so i i just have to ask this question for all of the listeners
32:57from an outsider’s perspective do you exist as a baby
33:04living in a community in a house with a white picket fence or does the world not really know of
33:11your existence because you are in nephilim cities and basically kept underground
33:16so to speak yeah good question um so the answer is
33:24in a way it is logical but it’s also a bit crazy because when
33:31when you do i ivf right that’s the right word you don’t create just one one baby
33:38there’s not just there were more siblings that that had the same dna
33:45uh as i had it’s just that i was chosen to to um to be their project
33:54and they don’t dispose of the other siblings they use them for their own um for other purposes and one of these
34:02purposes is that um at some point the people that i was placed in
34:10in later life that i was that i knew to be my parents um one of my siblings
34:17was placed in there in my mother’s womb and um
34:24she was born around the same time as i was born except that she grew up in this what you
34:31say you know my parents were um
34:37in in in their front life they were normal people and christian people who
34:44were very young at that stage in their life and um and at some point
34:50when i was you know i was growing up with the nephilim my my sister was growing up with them
34:57and then at some point we were switched and um that was when i was
35:05about i was about four years old just
35:10just um around that time i was i was swept swiped i don’t know how you
35:17say that um swapped yes
35:23and um and and that is where i was um where my
35:30presenter was created by that time um the priscilla that that everybody
35:38was going to know and that part of me priscilla did not didn’t know
35:45anything about where where where i came from
35:50and that was the only way for me to survive in the normal world because i had to learn how to survive
35:58so um that is how how they do that so yes the first three
36:04and a half four years i’ve lived um without anybody’s knowledge that i
36:13even existed and after about three and a half four years
36:19they put me in the in in my parents house yeah so
36:26i have another question and then we’re gonna move down the story line
36:32because there’s similar dna in
36:39you and your sister is there a we could call it
36:46a psychic or a uh type of connection between
36:53you and her that allows her to be influenced by your torture and
37:01vice versa yes very yeah yeah that’s how it works
37:06exactly when we were
37:13swapped and what happened is she was sacrificed
37:22and her memories so far were downloaded in me
37:29so that i as the presenter front part who was going to live life
37:36now in this little country in europe um
37:43i had those memories but they didn’t really belong to me they were hers and
37:51what they because i had other siblings as well so over the years what happened i’m just
37:57skipping a few years now but over the years what would happen especially when
38:03i mean i would sometimes go through torture in my by going like a year ago and i would
38:10talk with amanda and i would say amanda i am dying i don’t know what is happening to me but
38:16it feels i’m spinning i’m being electrocuted what all these things and we would be
38:21praying and what’s going on and and lord revealed this to us and then amanda said well did
38:27you already check if this might have anything to do with the symbiotic bond with one of your siblings and then we
38:34would start praying and immediately we would we would uh address this and then
38:42the moment i would cut myself loose from this sibling things would start to ease and i
38:50wouldn’t be so much in so much pain anymore so yeah that’s really how they work
38:58i have a list of uh how do i call it uh
39:06relational entities that we address under certain circumstances
39:14due to the way that what they do and experience can influence people i’m
39:21working with i call them clones duplicates
39:27replicas derivatives replacements stand-ins twins actually have a longer
39:34list than that but twins are on the list and what you are describing i think will
39:41help some people a lot because i have language for stuff that i don’t have
39:47fully fleshed out explanations and uh what do you call case studies for i
39:54just know and um what you’re saying is really huge priscilla for for a lot
40:01of people because so many people are walking around and the lord has told them what’s my problem
40:07it’s your twin and they don’t know what that means amanda did you i see you nodding did you
40:12want to yeah i think i think this is a very important part um
40:18dan because um i think at a stage somewhere along the
40:23line we spoke but it would be good to just bring it in here again um that when they do the conception
40:30um of of this baby they don’t only uh make one baby um they
40:37they would make three or four or five depending on what the plan is and obviously one gets sacrificed to
40:44seal everything and then um one would be taken and put into a surrogate family like
40:50chris explained to her sister um and and so then they would also swap them in and
40:57out um if if they want to add a stage so they keep one in the cult
41:04and so these are identical um images of siblings and then safe
41:12they need press to to reprogram or put more stuff into her while she’s with the family of
41:19you know it’s three or four years old and she has to go for continuous uh programming then they need to have
41:26her still at school so they will swap in take her away and go and do the work
41:33with bruce and put the other sibling in her place to go to school
41:38so um it would all it’ll be this in and out swapping the whole time
41:44where we were asking questions the normal western mind asking questions how’s it
41:50possible you know how can you be away from home for a month of programming
41:56the school your friends they’re going to miss you you know i mean you ask these questions
42:02um and so i think it’s important to know that there’s more than one sibling created and then
42:10that what also is very keen and and we have found this with so many um is that
42:18they um they will keep one in the underworld in a in a state of
42:24death like on a life support machine and because of the symbiotic bond
42:32they they can let’s say press is not coming for help
42:38and she’s being tortured and tormented like over the top she’s gonna flip she’s
42:44gonna lose it she’s she’s gonna die she’s it’s just it’s
42:49humanly she everything in her says i’ll rather get out of this body completely
42:55because i can’t handle the punishment i can’t handle the torture and then we would realize
43:02that something’s happening like a voodoo thing but it’s live it’s this is this is not a doll
43:09this is this is a live person like doing it too and press is connected
43:15but in in such a strong bond it’s not just the coding it’s it’s stronger than that it’s dna
43:23it’s it’s blood of my you know burning my bone and flesh of my flesh and and and so they would keep this
43:31part the sibling on life support um but they would then
43:38torture this sibling put her on a wheel do the most horrific things with her
43:45and everything they do press gets hit with so you’re just thinking you pray you
43:54cut off you you bind you rebuke you you you walk through every single thing
43:59you’ve ever heard of you know because you’re seeing you’re seeing this this client
44:05presses die in front of you and and and you start don’t know what to pray anymore and you don’t know what to hit you up against
44:11then you know you’re desperate and then god started to teach you pray voodoo but it’s it’s not
44:18breaking you know and then we learned about this that there is this part of her
44:26sister her sibling that is being tortured and tormented
44:34over the top and and presses being hit so it was such
44:40a huge breakthrough and we’ve seen it within so many survivors already
44:46um that if you can get them off that wheel of death and and get them free because what they did
44:52was they sent a part of chris’s humanity um a presenter pot which is survival brain
45:00um we we have also spoken that when they create the presenter part they
45:06don’t create it from the same parts as as the other parts of the brain
45:13they created from the survival brain and that is why the torture and the
45:19torment they can do because it’s survival it’s you it’s
45:26you know you you live or die and so you have this um part of press
45:32her present apart that was sent to stay with the dead twin sibling
45:40all the time and so there was there was a connection with a part of prison
45:46as well as the symbiotic bond and so it was very strong
45:53wow okay priscilla yeah no that was that was
46:01pretty intense um and and but it also enables you to
46:07learn and and see um how it can help other people as well and
46:15and i think that is a good thing so yeah that that is um
46:23yeah we’re already at four years old is just one one thing that i want to to
46:30share very important it’s picture number three it is a very important moment
46:38um in the life of a survivor um and that is it’s called the new birth
46:45experience and this is where where you’re you’re still
46:51really small like i was 12 maybe 13 months something around that age still living with the
46:59nephilim and what they do
47:04is and i think we already explained this a little bit but what they do is they
47:12start explaining the gospel to this one-year-old child and
47:19what happens is you know we know that the word of god is living and it’s active we know that it’s light we know
47:27that it’s life-giving so even when
47:33the gospel is being explained by very evil people it still has the ability to bring forth
47:39life and as a baby or as a small child
47:45i you were i was spiritually so awake and i i for me the spiritual realm was
47:52more real than the earth realm like i only started to learn the boundaries
48:02of earth life once i started to live in my presenter life before that
48:09like floating flying um how do you call that
48:16going from one place to another place uh teleporting
48:22it was it was like eating lunch i that that was my life i didn’t know any better than that was
48:29my life and so i was spiritually very awake and hearing
48:37the gospel uh it does something with you and
48:43it is the only little bit of light and life that you see for the first time in your
48:50life and everything in you starts to draw towards that and and what happens
48:58is that jesus or i’d rather call him yeshua because i’ve had
49:04many false jesus’s uh in my life so yeshua is my favorite name for
49:09jesus so yeshua shows himself to you
49:16when you say i want to know that man that you’re talking about i i um and
49:23and that is where you have your first experience with yeshua and where he actually comes
49:30and lives in your heart and that is the the top of the picture
49:35that you see with the little child and the heart and and the lion of judah and it’s an amazing experience for a few
49:43seconds and what happens is they see this happening they see in the
49:50spirit that that you have come to know jesus and
49:57i can tell you all kinds of reasons why they do this it it there are many reasons but one of
50:04the main reasons is is that they want to steal the glory of god
50:09and if if that child becomes a child of god
50:16and they torture it and they heard it they steal the glory of god they rap like every what happens is they
50:24wrap this child in death it’s the second part of the picture and you see it’s like they bring this
50:30child into death experience after death experience and i’m not talking about two or three
50:36times this is 10 20 30 40 times that you die within a in a short span of time
50:45and and every layer is a layer of death that is putting
50:51that’s being put around this this little baby that that gave her heart to yeshua
50:58and every time there is a death experience another part is is taken out of that
51:07baby and is being assigned that is where the program is going to start they they take these parts and they say
51:15this is your name this is your name this is your name and they’re being put in separate places and that is
51:21the parts that they will start working on later and um and this
51:28i call it the new birth identity this new birth identity is being placed in underworld and it has
51:36entities that are guarding this this baby because satan knows that
51:42if this baby ever gets released in the person
51:48that’s going to be the end of story for for this for him having a hold on the
51:54survivor because in my life the moment that we found this new birth identity
52:02um in me that is when my freedom started to flow
52:08and and yes it’s a journey and and you have to go to that place many times because there are so many death
52:13experiences but it’s
52:18it’s a crucial part in in in a survivor and
52:26what they do with that um the the bottom part you see the fake evil jesus
52:33they introduced to you a jesus that will pose himself as your savior
52:39so as a baby you’re being put to death and you’re in a horrible pain and then
52:46you’re being brought to life and as you’re being brought to life
52:53you see this jesus and he says i came to save you you’re not dead
52:59anymore i am your savior and and you start trusting this jesus he
53:06must be the right jesus the other jesus must have been evil because he is the one that calls me to
53:12suffer so much he’s the one that caused me to to die so this must be the right jesus and
53:19and and that is the whole foundation that they will build on from that moment on so does that make
53:26sense that makes a lot of sense and and i’ll
53:33i’ll tell you you know it it never ceases to amaze me how often i
53:40find parts of people’s humanity in hades in the underworld in
53:46outer darkness in i mean it it’s all the time we’re going into these realms i
53:51call them regions of captivity all the time to get soul parts out
53:56and they have different levels of significance and so okay so you are for
54:04you are swapped into a normal life given a presenter downloaded
54:11with all of the memories of your sister what’s next well from that moment on
54:19you get the true meaning of living a double life because in in
54:27in my one world i lived his life as a little girl who
54:33goes to school goes to church she was being um i had a a huge hunger
54:41for for god and and and to get to know him and already from a young age i knew
54:49that he existed and i i knew that um that i wanted to know him
54:57and and that has been um i think that has been my driving force
55:07to get to the place where i am now because as as i was growing up and i was
55:14in my one world living a normal life i started to notice that i wasn’t
55:21able to have a intimate relationship with jesus
55:27the way i saw other people having that and i was i mean i was very gifted i was
55:35gifted with prophecy with leading worship uh gifts of healing and all these things
55:43i i that that’s been there from from a young age
55:48um except that it wasn’t the gifts of the true holy spirit it was of the
55:54false holy spirit i didn’t know it by then i i mean i was really thinking i was operating in in
56:00the kingdom of god but um it it it wasn’t um
56:06it wasn’t true but he as i was operating in these gifts and
56:14as i was building this relationship with god i just couldn’t get
56:20to this intimate place of knowing him it always was as a dis at a distance and
56:28there was always this dark place in me where where i couldn’t go and and i was afraid
56:33to go there and and i mean i had nightmares and things like that and i was i was quite young when i already started
56:40to see a therapist i was 13 i think or 14 and
56:46um so obviously obviously there was something wrong but i i couldn’t get my put my finger on
56:54it and then i just skipped a few years and i was 19
57:02when i discovered that there was the id in my life and um
57:10i found that i had these parts and they were all talking about these weird things and i i
57:17didn’t understand what was going on and um
57:24and from there i had my first memories that looked like ritual abuse
57:31but i wasn’t ready to go there in my mind like um i just wasn’t there and
57:39i made a decision of my will to bury that bury these memories
57:46and to um to just keep living my nice christian life um
57:55and i tried that for for a few years and i i allowed the id to be there like
58:02i couldn’t push the idea away like i had parts and but i i somehow i
58:08managed to have the fun parts to the front like parts that were cute
58:14and and that were always in for a and and you know sometimes these parts would
58:20talk a bit about where they came from and some of the memories and and i would be just like no i can’t
58:26accept that you know it’s that’s just not me um
58:32and then i was we’re talking now about 2014 so this is six
58:39years ago that is when i was
58:45at a very deep place where i was god i i want to know you
58:52i i see people around me who know you in an intimate
58:59way like emotional and they they it’s something that i
59:05don’t have what is it and god was really clear with
59:10me it’s only the truth that will bring you to a place where you
59:16can get to know me and i knew i had to make a decision at that moment
59:23either i’m going to keep all this stuff buried and
59:29i live my life the way it is now for as long as i can because i knew i couldn’t keep this up
59:34for for for a whole long time or i’m going to now really
59:41submit to god the way the bible teaches us to submit to him and
59:48and let whatever comes forward come forward and i
59:55didn’t know what i was choosing at that moment because i had no idea what was going to come forward but
1:00:02that’s what i chose i said okay god i can’t just live this life
1:00:09where i don’t know you like i want to know you and and will you just bring me to this
1:00:17place where i can be in in in submission to you and and where the truth can can come forward
1:00:25and only then the truth started to come out and it
1:00:33it went pretty fast from there and and in 2015 i got to know amanda
1:00:39and um yeah that’s when it got really crazy and
1:00:46um i mean it i still don’t understand
1:00:51how how god managed and how god thought it was worth
1:00:58his time in amanda’s time to to get me to get us connected and and bring
1:01:07bring me to this place where i am right now where the memories are starting to come
1:01:12they’ve started to come forward at the beginning it’s it’s all messy
1:01:18like you have the nightmares all the nightmares that i have been having over the years suddenly
1:01:24started to make sense and once they start making sense the next level comes and and
1:01:32that’s where the crazy stuff started to i started dreaming about these
1:01:38these nephilims hybrids um
1:01:43weird creatures um places that i i would never been
1:01:50to these places in my life yet i saw them as if i was there um i that is where
1:01:59god really opened my eyes and allowed my body to show what was going
1:02:05on so i was still in a place where i was in relationship with my handlers
1:02:13and i would be taken by night um through triggering and however that
1:02:20works but i would be taken to to ritual places all over the world and and the next day
1:02:28i would wake up and my body would like i felt i was hit by a train
1:02:36and i had bruises on on on places everywhere over my body
1:02:43i had burn like i had burn wounds over my at places of my body and at some
1:02:50point i started to take pictures because i was like nobody is going to believe me
1:02:56that i i go to bed with a smooth skin and i wake up and i had this huge
1:03:02bruise on my on my chin or i would go to bed with with a normal leg
1:03:10and i would wake up with that with a blister filled with fluid from a burn the next morning
1:03:17and and it was it was ridiculous i mean it was i had no
1:03:24idea what was going on but i knew i had to pursue it and and only
1:03:30um by just diving headfirst not knowing whether
1:03:37if there was even a swimming pool there to catch me with water i i just went and and it has
1:03:44been a deep dive ever since and um and one thing that i think is
1:03:49very important to to mention is
1:03:55for me it was crucial i think life-saving to
1:04:02break contact with my handlers which meant that at this stage in my life
1:04:10i had my own business with a friend of mine
1:04:15i was in a very close relationship with with my surrogate parents
1:04:22and um and other friends and i had to
1:04:29i had to break contact with them and that is something that is
1:04:36very difficult because every
1:04:42every normal christian religious organization will say that the moment you break
1:04:50contact with your parents you are actually so
1:04:55showing like sect signs as if you’re in a sect because that is you know often what what
1:05:01happens um or um [Music]
1:05:07they say that you’re not honoring your parents or they say that
1:05:13you lost your mind i mean all these things have been said to me that i that they told me that
1:05:21because i was working with amanda they said that i was ending up in a cult or in a sect
1:05:28because i was breaking contact with my parents um i was leaving my church i mean half of
1:05:34the church stood in my business telling me what are you doing you’re crazy
1:05:40you’re uh you belong in this church uh we don’t want you uh to leave
1:05:47this is not biblical uh you are um deceived i mean
1:05:53and i mean i that is still what they say about me in that place and and i mean i don’t
1:06:00even blame them because they don’t understand where where i come from and what has happened
1:06:07but it is very important for survivors to um
1:06:12[Music] to know that there is a season in your life where you have to
1:06:18break with the people that are your handlers and um some some there might be a time
1:06:25where where i um where i will get back in touch i don’t
1:06:30know i don’t think so but you never know god is an almighty god and maybe he will show them
1:06:37what they’ve been up to i’ve been praying for it i really pray that on this side of heaven
1:06:42they will get the chance to repent and to to get in get clean with god
1:06:51um because it’s not going to be fun for them to to be on the other side of heaven
1:07:00and have to um see what they’ve been up to
1:07:06wow well um so priscilla
1:07:12we kind of skipped a few years here going from you know
1:07:19that that younger years and straight to 19. now there’s a there there’s a few points on this
1:07:26chart that you gave me that i want to zero in on and just let you
1:07:31uh talk about a little bit more and here you know you put
1:07:38okay the new birth identity which we we talked about yes then the presenter at three years
1:07:44they swapped you for your sister around four years yes what’s this coming of age
1:07:53yes this is um this is a very particular ritual
1:08:01that um we i’ve already mentioned it a few times in
1:08:07the past a few interviews it’s that point in time where you move from being a
1:08:14victim into being a perpetrator so this picture um shows
1:08:21pretty pretty good how that works um you see this girl in the center and
1:08:28um she’s holding this baby in a uh at a place where where it’s being
1:08:34sacrificed and um
1:08:40that is a representation of a new birth identity so
1:08:46what happens is that this baby you kill this baby as a symbol
1:08:54like in your mind you kill that part of yourself that chose for
1:08:59jesus and you put an other
1:09:05layer or actually you put a seal of death over that part of you and you choose to
1:09:13never again go back to to this new birth identity to this
1:09:20jesus that that baby ever said yes to and you choose to serve satan
1:09:27and and you do that by um saying the the the five i wills of satan
1:09:35that are described in in asia wealth i think it is
1:09:41and um and that is also where um
1:09:48i conceived my first nephilim son so where there was um this is
1:09:55what this means is that there is an intercourse between a fallen angel and a human and the result of that
1:10:02is a nephilim son and
1:10:08this can be any fallen angel from any rank till
1:10:15lucifer himself who who is a fallen angel as well of course
1:10:20and um this this is where you say
1:10:27i am an independent person now who has chosen against god
1:10:34and all the programming that has been installed in the years from new birth until the coming of eight
1:10:42so that is that is about 10 years a little over 10 years um all that
1:10:49programming is now being activated in a way that
1:10:54you’re going to take responsibility for it and you’re going to move yourself up the ranks
1:11:02to put it that way and um i don’t know amanda is there anything
1:11:07you want to say about this yeah i think um in the healing process
1:11:13this is a very important part to understand um because of
1:11:21of of the significant change that you go from a child under your parents authority and
1:11:28now you’re moving into the perpetrator and from being a victim to a victimizer
1:11:36is so important because now you are accountable before god and
1:11:43now you are willingly agreeing with satan whereas the first 12 years you were a
1:11:50victim you were just handed over and you had to do what they told you
1:11:55but now you are willingly deciding to kill this baby who opened your heart
1:12:04to the real yeshua and she got connected to him at 13 months and and and
1:12:12they have fed you hormones and basically your periods start very early in the body um chris i think
1:12:19you said eight about eight years old things started you your body started functioning that you could they
1:12:25could impregnate you and you you that baby that they lay in
1:12:31front of you is actually one of your own children that you’ve given birth to
1:12:37and that’s now 13 months old and so when they put that child on the altar in front of you um you
1:12:45believe you are killing that baby that gave their heart
1:12:50to jesus um and it’s now your chance because all the hatred um and all you know all
1:12:58the murder all the hatred of of satan that he can’t be saved and you are made in god’s image and you
1:13:05can be saved and all of that is loaded on top of your human anger
1:13:11and so they’ve made this 13 year old the assassin the murderer you know anything with this
1:13:20because this this the the the one that’s acting as a which i mean they
1:13:26they go into different sections obviously but but it’s all the anger that they’ve
1:13:31encapsulated and enhanced with satanic anger and nephilim anger
1:13:38and so when she kills that baby it is with it is with the most horrific
1:13:45hatred that becomes part of her life and and
1:13:50i’ve had other survivors report to me that when they killed the baby they were
1:13:56wearing jewels um inherited jewels like like
1:14:04in the the family jewels so i said oh is it the ramen off so because
1:14:11this she’s she’s anastasia in 1944 this whole hitler project that
1:14:17you and i spoke about the first time um she’s part of that project
1:14:22and so the jewels that she was wearing is the ramen of jewels and every little 13 year old in that
1:14:29bloodline part of that project would put on the jewels at 13
1:14:35it’s rings it’s it’s very expensive diamonds and gold and
1:14:41and so this little 13 year old is dressed up and and it’s ballroom i mean it’s
1:14:47ballroom gowns and and and you’ve got people in in the upper stairs
1:14:53watching this whole thing like a theater and and she’s being led down the
1:15:00steps with all these jewels and then as she kills she’s got to kill in such a way
1:15:07that there’s lots of blood that the blood splashes onto the jewels so that she’s the next
1:15:13generation that is in line that is hating god
1:15:19that makes a choice against god that is part of the antichrist system
1:15:25and and then the the jewels it’s so important that the jewels have to be
1:15:30splashed with blood and that then gives her that that
1:15:36authority and the the ranking for her then to move into the adulthood of of starting
1:15:44to hurt other children um killing um assassins or whatever the the
1:15:52assignment is but they move then into into really being
1:15:57very very dangerous um attacking they have been trained so well to attack
1:16:04ministries to attack to come into our bedrooms um to astral in well astral they
1:16:13they teleport in and um come and do their thing you know come
1:16:18and attack you um send all sorts of things at you um so they are so well trained
1:16:26so this 13 year old is key it’s it’s probably of the last parts
1:16:32that that you get to so you know that once you’ve reached the 13 year old because she’s the most hidden
1:16:40she’s the most angry and she is the mother that gives birth
1:16:47to the nephilim child um and and that sets her apart and gives
1:16:52her that ranking as well so so at 13 year old she’s the mother and
1:16:59um there’s there’s just so many layered things that have to be removed
1:17:05you know when you pray and they go through the the ritual where they were upside down crucified upside
1:17:12down where they had um where there was this guy that was killed um while he was being
1:17:21killed she’s having sex with him it’s the most bizarre stuff um that they
1:17:28get exposed to in this 13 year it’s all the 13 year old
1:17:33ritual so it is really key really key and then the five hour walls
1:17:40um it’s it’s as isaiah 14 and um you know we where lucifer himself
1:17:48makes the declarations i will rise above i will you know put my throne above
1:17:55and so the the the 13 year old comes in agreement with that
1:18:00and it’s open total rebellion and so they re they get the the the
1:18:07actual character of lucifer and well satan it’s either lucifer is the angel of
1:18:15light or satan in all his death and and um you know death
1:18:23you know you don’t have another word for him um another important thing i feel prison what
1:18:29dan you you speak about often are the scrolls the scrolls of your life and
1:18:35what happens at conception because they’ve planned so well around the sperm and the ovum
1:18:42and they bring that together there’s this demonic scroll that gets red over your life
1:18:50and then at 13 it’s the scroll again and do you agree
1:18:57do you agree are you now with your own free will that which happened at conception when
1:19:04you were created now do you agree that this is your life and as a 13 year
1:19:12old the agreement comes and that is when they take legal ground go to the word
1:19:20where the bible says now what you’ve chosen you’re going to be the consequences and so um that’s how they play the game
1:19:29you know to hold the bible against you to hold god against you so you have witnesses against you
1:19:34there’s judgments of god against you but it’s like you know
1:19:40they they just have that attitude of of satan
1:19:46and i i if i just can jump in here a little uh what i remember in one of
1:19:52your previous interviews one of the questions that was posted on youtube was how
1:20:01how is it possible that they allow you to get out of the cult and i just want
1:20:08to set very straight that they the cults are not almighty they are not
1:20:16god they are not yahweh elohim and
1:20:21god has the final say and i believe that there is a way out for
1:20:29every survivor how well programmed you are what what level of ranking you
1:20:37are there is always a way out and and i i know that
1:20:44for me i was so convinced that i i wasn’t able to be saved because
1:20:52i killed what i believe was the part of me that gave my heart to
1:20:59yeshua so i i thought i wasn’t being able to be saved anymore
1:21:05but god always has a way out he had he he knew
1:21:13before adam and eve sinned he already had salvation plan ready because he knew
1:21:19that they were going to do that and that they needed a way out and and it’s the same with with with me
1:21:26and people like me when you believe that there is no way out then just look up and and and
1:21:33and see that god has set the road before you because there is a way out
1:21:38and and he is the one that is almighty and having said that
1:21:45because if you just want to put up the picture number five
1:21:51what what is the trick and the way that they deceive you and they trick you is that
1:22:01they make you believe that you as the new birth identity
1:22:08are not the same as the 13 year old who makes that decision to kill the new
1:22:13birth identity they make you think it’s a is it’s a different person with a different body
1:22:21and that is where the deception is and that is why the d.i.d is so strong and
1:22:28what was very key for me is i needed to learn that
1:22:36the baby that had to crawl its way out of the mother’s womb is the
1:22:42same has the same body as the body who gave her life to yeshua
1:22:51at one year old it is the same body who chose against god at 13 year old
1:22:59it’s the same body who had 26 year old married with the nephilim sun and
1:23:07and yes there are different parts in that body but it is the same body so if you want
1:23:14to show the picture once more i just want to explain it if you see this tower this is the tower
1:23:21of babel it’s it’s a pretty standard program that they put in
1:23:26in in the survivors what you see is on the at the bottom you see this baby lying
1:23:35and out of this baby the it this baby is the foundation
1:23:41of the tower that is being built and all the way up you see that kind of
1:23:46naked lady sitting on the on a throne and that is the queen
1:23:52let’s say the 26 year old that is being put in a in a cult has a
1:23:59position of power it is birthing all the all the illuminati plants
1:24:06over the world like like all the rage and old evil and the plants of let’s say
1:24:13corona you know it’s being birthed by these kind of queens over the earth and this queen that is
1:24:21sitting there on top of the world is having a nice life she is being worshipped
1:24:31by the kings of the earth she is being worshipped by the other lower level
1:24:40women in the cult she is uh holding a position of power
1:24:46so she is in her mind pretty well off and when you tell her
1:24:55that she comes from this baby she would be disgusted she would say i want nothing to do with
1:25:02that baby but that is where where
1:25:07i as a survivor but as a counselor you have to show the survivor that that
1:25:14that she’s been tricked and been deceived and the moment that i
1:25:20realized in my parts that i am just being given a place of
1:25:28power and position and and and that to do their evil plans but at the same time a part of my
1:25:35humanity is suffering and is still stuck in a place of death because
1:25:41i want to hold a place of power when i realized that that is the same
1:25:46body and ultimately the same person because god made me as one person he
1:25:52never meant me to be scattered into all these thousands of of pieces
1:25:59and and when i started to realize that that is when it had it was able to come
1:26:06together and that is where if if you want to show the last picture that is the whole counseling process
1:26:14that happens you you have the baby that that gave her
1:26:19heart to yeshua and and you have the 13 year old you have 26 year olds you know all those seals
1:26:25that are being being put up and um
1:26:30yeah if you have this picture and then go to the next picture yes you see that from this new
1:26:37birth identity you you see the 13 year old you see the first crown the 26 year old and it goes
1:26:44all the way whatever age the survivor is now if you think of these
1:26:52arrows and you put them the other way that is the counseling process you take
1:26:59the age of the body you take the parts you take the 26 year old and you go backwards and you go and you find
1:27:08that baby that is wrapped in death that may that chose yeshua and then
1:27:15when they become one that is where healing comes that is because
1:27:22yeshua jesus he never left that little baby the 13 months old
1:27:28and when my parts were saying well jesus left me jesus is the one he abandoned me
1:27:36then i would amanda would ask yeshua to show the
1:27:41truth and what really happened is that i abandoned myself
1:27:47i was the one who couldn’t handle the torture so i split off and i mean i don’t have to blame myself
1:27:53for this but i split off because i couldn’t handle the torture and i i i started to live a parallel
1:28:00life to to who i really am and yeshua state he was there in the
1:28:08torture he was there and he didn’t leave and i was the one who escaped from myself
1:28:15and when that started to kick in that truth
1:28:20i had to learn that i had to go back to that baby that was wrapped in death and had to
1:28:27i mean i had to hold it every extension of myself as a 13 year old as a 26 year old as a
1:28:3434 year old whatever age i had to go back to these steps
1:28:40and find that baby that was captured in death and every time another layer of death
1:28:46was taken off this baby until i finally had it and
1:28:51and that is where my healing started to pour and
1:28:58and where i got to that place what i was saying in the beginning that
1:29:04relationship with god that that i didn’t i didn’t have that honest and pure relationship
1:29:10and now i can i can say i mean i’m not there yet where i want to be
1:29:16but i know god in a way that i’ve never known him before and i would go through this all over
1:29:24again if i knew that that that this would be the end result
1:29:30and i mean i know there’s i’m not even there yet there’s much more that i can learn about who god is and
1:29:36how who yeshua is and that is what it’s all about it’s
1:29:41you know it’s i know all these information it’s interesting and and people who do not know about this
1:29:48it’s it’s it’s interesting and and exciting to hear about this mermaid stuff and and
1:29:55and the cloning and and that and i understand that but for me that has never been
1:30:02what it is about for me it’s been that my life can glorify god and can
1:30:08glorify yeshua and if that means that i had to
1:30:14get to that horrible knowledge of what it meant for me to become a mermaid
1:30:20what i had to do what i had to go through um
1:30:26that that is you do that you do it not because you want to because
1:30:32but because you have to because otherwise you won’t be able to
1:30:37to um let your life truly be in for god’s honor
1:30:46how amanda
1:30:53yeah dan i think i think chris has explained it very well um what i what i’d like to
1:31:00just underline is we have found through the years and i mean this was our own journey too
1:31:07is that many times you don’t know what to do with the parts you really don’t know how to bring the
1:31:13healing and when you do integration and you know what happens in the process because
1:31:20there’s so much so many layering so many parts and anyway so
1:31:25um when the lord showed us that if you don’t get to the baby there’s no closure so let’s say for
1:31:33example chris’s adult parts her extension parts would come forward
1:31:38and um you know some queen or some witch or whatever part would present
1:31:44and then um we would have a conversation you know and i’d say well um you know
1:31:50you you’re not really a queen and she’d be very upset and then i’d explain
1:31:56that you you belong to a human body you connected with through the silver cord and um we would go through the whole
1:32:03process and eventually i’d explain to you you’re tied up in second heaven and um you’ve
1:32:10been deceived and you’ve been you’re serving a loser and um you know that when you go to battle
1:32:18um who sends who sends a woman first who sends a whole woman army into
1:32:24battle first and and and the main guy he’s at the back because he’s a womp
1:32:30he’s too afraid to go first i said to god i serve yeshua
1:32:35he rides first he takes the battle he he he heads up you know he’s the he’s
1:32:42the captain of the hosts he rides ahead he doesn’t use human shields and
1:32:48why why does satan send you you to go and fight for him you know anyway
1:32:54we we talked this through and then looks like wow you know that’s true um so
1:33:00anyway we get to a point where we say okay third heaven is yeshua feel the frequency and second
1:33:08heaven and feel the death it’s totally a different frequency and then um yeshua would come introduce
1:33:15himself you know whatever the lord does but you lead this part um you know
1:33:21to you sure you you show the deception and this part actually has to make up
1:33:27their own mind it’s their own free will choice and then they say okay no i don’t want to serve a loser i don’t want to be
1:33:34you know um are used as a human shield i i don’t want to be lied to you anymore
1:33:40this is enough so then i say okay what you have to do is lay all your weapons
1:33:45everything your ranking your armor your weapons your accolades
1:33:52your pips whatever it is that you’ve received getting where you are you’re going to
1:33:57put it all at the feet of yeshua are you prepared to do that yeah sure so then they lay it down you
1:34:03know take off the robes the mantles the rings the whatever it is who you know in their
1:34:10position put it at the feet of yeshua and then i say okay are you prepared that yeshua
1:34:15burns it with his fire now because it’s no going back yep no okay we’ll do that
1:34:21so now they’ve accepted yeshua and a lot of councillors stopped there
1:34:28and they don’t they if you stop there then you have so much humanity because
1:34:34you’ve you’ve got a whole timeline that you’ve worked with now but you only were taking the
1:34:40adult part that is that is such a little bit of the full timeline and you’re leading that
1:34:48part to yeshua and you’re saying i’m done now and that’s the old way that’s what we
1:34:53used to do but you can’t stop there and that’s where the lord showed us that you’ve got
1:35:00to you’ve got to take from age of the body so chris is 34
1:35:05so at least she doesn’t have more stars at least you know the higher the stars the more difficult
1:35:11it is to undo all the layers and so so chris is only 34 hallelujah so now we
1:35:18go age of the body 34 all the parts who know yeshua come come together now go with yeshua the
1:35:26the christian presenter as well and that you go to 26 year old which is
1:35:31the wife down to 13 year old which is the mother now now we go and we’re going
1:35:37to find the baby this is the baby where you come from so of course in the beginning
1:35:42it’s difficult i can’t believe it i don’t come from a baby so we all come from a baby so we have to
1:35:49find the baby because they’ve done something to the baby to make you this queen that is sitting on the top of
1:35:57the tower of babel that is birthing all this you doing all the dirty work for the for
1:36:02for the cult for the new world order for the illuminati you are birthing all of the stuff all
1:36:08over the world through the portals you doing the dirty work but to get you to that position as queen
1:36:15you started as a baby so if we don’t find the baby we’re not going to get closure
1:36:21and and i have i’ve done this with so many survivors and they all
1:36:26tell you the same story that if you leave them just there as an adult and you don’t bring closure
1:36:33to the whole timeline they they still hanging and they are
1:36:38still accessible the enemy can still access them and use them in the cult
1:36:44and so you take that so you gather up all of them and then you get down to the
1:36:50new birth identity where the key is because that’s where yeshua is and that’s where the promise is because
1:36:57it was because of his promise i will never leave you that’s why we can work in this
1:37:02in this ministry and and we are able to do the deliverance because of him
1:37:07because of what yeshua has done because the price jesus paid because of his blood
1:37:12and so you you then you go back to conception right back to conception identity why
1:37:19because at conception identity they were one they were the one god made originally
1:37:24before trauma they were one before there was dust the gold dust that went all over
1:37:30through the trauma before that they were one and that starts at conception identity
1:37:36and so we gather up conception identity the time of being frozen the time of
1:37:41being scattered all over going in the motherships going in the craft
1:37:46going into the um into the portals you gather up gather up gather up
1:37:52and from conception identity bring it forward into new birth and from age of the body bring it down
1:37:58down down down down you know 26 13 year old dumped your new birth
1:38:03so now we’re all standing around new birth identity now we say okay you see the baby
1:38:12this is where you come from it’s your timeline you ended up as the queen over babylon but the baby
1:38:20what did they do with the baby you wait because this is the key you have to give
1:38:26lots of time here you must be patient and then if they can’t see
1:38:31we pray yeshua open show them the baby show draw the curtain open shine your
1:38:37light let them see the baby and normally the baby’s in a state of death um the baby is the eyes of the babies
1:38:44closed um i had the one baby just in the week that i was ministering
1:38:50to a client that her baby was in flames was just flames
1:38:57but the adult was working with the power of the phoenix
1:39:03can you see the timeline connection so you’ve got the phoenix with the adult
1:39:08working in power of the fire with with the phoenix but you’ve got the baby
1:39:15burning in fire the whole time so i explained to you i said while you are the queen at the top with all the
1:39:21power on the other side of the id is the one in constant 24 7
1:39:28pain and suffering you have the power because the baby was suffering
1:39:34and then we go and we release the baby and then i ask yeshua to to take the baby and to throw living
1:39:41water over the the flames to quench those the flames or the one the one was um
1:39:48a queen that was of the underworld and in the water
1:39:53and she had a crown on her head and we tried to take she tried to take the crown off to put it at the feet of
1:39:59yeshua she couldn’t get it off and then she i said okay how many spokes are around
1:40:06the crown how many spikes do you have she said eight
1:40:12i said okay so those are the queens that serve you yes so i said you nine in your cluster
1:40:19you know yes when we eventually got to the baby
1:40:24the baby had an octopus on the head and had kept the baby in the in the
1:40:31under in the water grave while she was the queen
1:40:37in the waters with a crown but there was an octopus that was actually with the eight
1:40:44legs it was the eight spokes and and the brain of the octopus was was the main
1:40:50crown so it is fascinating you know i can give you so many examples
1:40:57of working on timelines you get the adult whatever queen or whatever they
1:41:03represent follow that timeline down down down and find the baby and see what have
1:41:09they done with that baby and when yeshua blesses the baby and he brings the baby back to life
1:41:17and and the and the adult part that’s now just accepted yeshua takes that baby
1:41:24and picks up the baby and i say this is you this is where you come from and they take the baby and they push the
1:41:31baby against their heart and i say that’s where the baby belongs
1:41:37because you separated from the baby ask the baby’s forgiveness you went off and became a queen while
1:41:43the baby was suffering all the time now you hold that baby
1:41:49and and and every time press you can just quickly share here but what happens is when you hold that baby
1:41:56integration of the whole timeline takes place and uh and the cult has lost their hold
1:42:04no more did drd of that timeline is over they’ve integrated
1:42:12they’ve become one and no more access and so that’s why you’ve got to do a
1:42:18timeline after timeline of the timeline whoever represents as an adult you have
1:42:24to farm the baby otherwise there’s no closure and chris maybe you can explain
1:42:30being stuck just knowing jesus but not getting to the baby
1:42:38yeah i think that is just um it’s that moment where as um
1:42:46as the adult in the did systems for example the queen
1:42:52really needs to get to a place where she wants to see where she comes from and
1:42:58it’s always yeshua who does that it’s i know that i have been in a discussion with amanda
1:43:07you know i could we could be discussing for 20 or 30 minutes or even longer and then at some point
1:43:13amanda would be just like you know what we just ask yeshua and and
1:43:20and then yeshua would just come in with his wisdom or he would show something
1:43:27and then this this queen in me would see the baby and would know
1:43:34this is where i come from and if i want to stay in touch with yeshua
1:43:42i have to go back to this baby because yeshua is with this baby because
1:43:49and that is something that that got me every time again it’s it’s that queen that walked
1:43:55away from the baby and and from yeshua and yeshua he he loves the whole system
1:44:03so he he shows up and he talks to the queen but he tells the queen he doesn’t say
1:44:10the baby he doesn’t say to the baby you have to become the queen
1:44:16he says to the queen you humble yourself
1:44:21and you get on your knees and hold that baby and take care of that baby
1:44:27and and and then when they are uh closer to to each other what i
1:44:33always would say it’s like as if i would be in this queen part of
1:44:39myself it’s like i would see this hole in my heart it would look like a keyhole
1:44:45and that little baby would exactly have the shape of that
1:44:51hole in my heart and and yeshua would show me this baby
1:44:58belongs in your heart but you are the only one who can take it and put it there you
1:45:04have to do it and and that is how how i
1:45:09as this queen would be able to go down and i mean it takes time it’s it’s you have to learn this it’s not easy but
1:45:16eventually i would always be able to pick up that baby and put it in my heart and that is where
1:45:22that timeline becomes one one time one
1:45:31history and and they do this with many queens what i said there are many timelines but
1:45:37um there is an end to it it’s not something that you will do eternally but
1:45:43yeah that’s so good that is so good um wow
1:45:52priscilla amanda i want to thank you for taking the time to sit down with me uh drop some knowledge
1:46:00i i really appreciate the both of you and i know our listening audience does too even if
1:46:06they are still trying to figure out what they just heard and thinking how many times am i
1:46:11have to press replay on this one to get it all in
1:46:17that’s why we do a podcast you can listen to this as many times as you want
1:46:22folks i um so appreciate you guys and uh by the way folks amanda and her husband have a
1:46:29website kananministries.org k-a-n-a-a-n ministries dot org that you
1:46:37can check out if you want to see what they have available in so far as tools and resources and with that said
1:46:46guys until next time god bless
1:46:51and godspeed
1:46:59[Music]
1:47:05you’ve been listening to discovering truth with dan davall be sure to subscribe to our
1:47:11channel like our video and share this with friends this podcast is a production of bride
1:47:18ministries international visit our website at
1:47:23brideministriesinternational.com to enjoy the bride ministries church the bride ministries institute free
2023 jul 24 S3E39 | J.R. Sweet – Operational CIA MONARCH Mind Slave on Disney, LDS Church, & MK ULTRA Secret Ops [1b]
This week I’m thrilled to introduce to you yet another male survivor who has been speaking out. After saying just a short while ago that there needs to be more men willing to step up and expose the criminal cabal trafficking and abusing our children, I began meeting male survivors who reached out via email as well as discovering them on other podcasts. This week’s guest has an incredible story and I’m honored he chose to share time with us on the show. Introducing, Operational CIA MONARCH mind slave, overcomer, blogger, husband, father, whistleblower and walking miracle, J.R Sweet!
Like many survivors you’ve heard on the show, J.R. lived his conscious life believing he grew up in a normal household environment with a normal family. What J.R. would come to find out as an adult 2017 when he began having memory recall completely shook his world in discovering the narrative he had always told himself about his family couldn’t be further from the truth.
J.R. grew up in a multi-generational incestual satanic and Mormon family bloodline who’s lineages trace back to King Henry the 8th and he didn’t begin to recall his and his family’s involvement with the CIA’s MK Ultra mind control program until he was 38. Without giving too much away, I will say that if you are familiar with former podcast guest, Cathy O’Brien’s story – you will see a lot of parallels that run through J.R’s testimony as well. Since awakening to his abuse and the truth about his family, he began an incredible blog titled ‘The Mormon Monarch’ where he shares harrowing details about his life and past. I highly recommend you guys check this blog out – you can head to www.MormonMonarch.com to learn more – I’ll have this linked in the show notes and encourage you all to go support J.R.’s work!
J.R.’s story is jam-packed with information and I suggest you grab a pen and paper and shut off whatever you’re doing and give him your full attention. The amount of courage it takes for a survivor or these horrific atrocities cannot be understated. And with the stigma around men and abuse, we really need to show our support and stand behind and next to the men who are willing to be on the forefront of exposing these crimes against children while breaking generational abuse cycles and stigmas. J.R. is a hero.
Before I finish introducing our guest – I wanted to give a reminder that if you are a survivor or whistleblower who wants to share your story on the podcast or wants to share any information privately with me, you can now email me at IMAGINEABETTERWORLD2020@GMAIL.COM! Please send me a briefing of who you are and how I can support you whether it’s through podcasting or sharing information. I also just started a Substack that you can support at www.EmmaKatherine.Substack.com. Here I will be doing weekly recaps and insights on my podcast and using this as a place to publicly journal my journey as an advocate for our children. All my social, email and project links can also be found in the show notes and as always – I’m so grateful for all your support.
heavenly father today we put on the full armor to protect us against attack we put on the belt
0:08of Truth to protect against lies and deception we put on the breastplate of righteousness to
0:13protect our hearts from The Temptations we put the gospel of peace on our feet to walk in your
0:19light Peace and Freedom with the Holy Spirit we rebuke anxious thoughts we take up your Shield
0:25of faith for protection to block and destroy all the darts and threats thrown at us by the enemy we
0:30put on the helmet of salvation to cover our minds and thoughts reminding us that we are children of a mighty king we are forgiven set free safe by the blood of Jesus we take up the sword of the
0:42spirit your living word that has the power to demolish strongholds and is sharper than any double-edged sword we come to you Lord in prayer daily in Jesus mighty name we pray amen amen
0:54what’s up you guys welcome to the imagination I’m your host Emma and this week I’m thrilled
1:00to introduce to you yet another male Survivor who has been speaking out after saying just a
1:05short while ago that there needs to be more men willing to step up and expose the criminal cabal trafficking and abusing our children I began meeting male survivors suddenly who reached out
1:15via email as well as discovering them on other podcasts this week’s guest has an incredible
1:20story and I’m honored he chose to share with us on the show introducing operational CIA Monarch
1:27mind slave Overcomer blogger husband father whistleblower and walking Miracle J.R Suite
1:35like money survivors you’ve heard on the show Jr lived his conscious life believing he grew
1:40up in a normal household environment with a pretty normal family what Jr would soon come to find out
1:46as an adult in 2017 when he began having memory recall completely shook his world in discovering
1:52the narrative he had always told himself about his family couldn’t be further from the truth Jr grew
1:58up in a multi-generational ancestral satanic and Mormon family bloodline whose lineages actually
2:04traced back to King Henry VII and he didn’t begin to recall his and his family’s involvement with
2:09the cia’s MKUltra mind control program until he was 38. without giving too much away I will
2:15say that if you are familiar with former podcast guest Kathy O’Brien’s story you will see a lot of
2:20parallels that run through Jr’s testimony as well since Awakening 2 is abuse and the truth about
2:26his family he began an incredible blog titled the Mormon Monarch where he shares harrowing details
2:33about his life and past I highly recommend you guys check his blog out if you head to
2:39www.mormonmonarch.com I’ll have this listed in the show notes and really encourage you all to
2:45go support Jr’s work Jr’s story is jam-packed with information and I also suggest you grab a
2:52pen and paper and shut off whatever you’re doing and give him your full attention the amount of Courage it takes for a survivor of these horrific atrocities to come forth and speak their
3:02truth cannot be understated and with the stigma around men and abuse we really need to show our
3:07support and stand behind and next to the men who are willing to be on the Forefront of exposing these crimes against children while breaking General abuse cycles and stigmas Jr in this
3:18sense is a hero before I finish introducing Our Guest I want to give a reminder that if you are a
3:23Survivor or whistleblower who wants to share your testimony on the podcast or who wants to share
3:28any information privately with me you can now email me at imagine a better world2020 gmail.com
3:35please send me a briefing of who you are and how I can support you whether it’s through podcasting or sharing information I also just started a sub stack that you can support as well at www dot
3:47Emma catherine.substack.com here I will be doing weekly Recaps and insights on all of my podcasts
3:54and using this as a place to publicly Journal my journey as an advocate for our children on my
4:00social email and project links can also be found in the show notes and as always I’m so grateful for all of your support so you guys without further Ado please help me in welcoming this
4:09week’s guest of honor Monarch Survivor voice for the voiceless advocate for our children and generational circuit breaker J.R sweet Jr thank you so much for being here with me today
4:21thank you Emma thank you for having me it’s an honor I appreciate it yeah it’s great to be here
4:28I appreciate the opportunity yeah it’s good to get the message out to the people on what’s going
4:34on so I appreciate it I know and I appreciate you I know that these these topics can be very
4:41triggering and they’re very hard to talk about and people like you hand off the torch to other people
4:47who see your light and then it gives them courage to talk so it’s not easy being on the Forefront
4:52of this and I really do appreciate that you were and are willing to talk about this because I know it’s so hard and stressful on you also um so I’d love to actually hear and maybe let’s talk to the
5:03guests about why did you start speaking out you know we’ll get into your story but what was your
5:09inspiration for actually wanting to go public with all this information because I’m sure you had a lot to lose I’m sure you were targeted I’m sure that it hasn’t been the easiest thing for you
5:18to come out and talk about this publicly and I’d love to hear your inspiration behind your mission
5:24yeah yeah thank you it hasn’t been very easy and I have lost a lot
5:31um of in that sense uh when I remembered things that I was remembering about my past
5:41um I was living in Idaho at that time I was raised in around Idaho in Idaho and in Salt
5:48Lake born in Oregon and so all over the west and in 2017 when I started to remember things
5:57um it was I realized I was not in a good situation where I lived
6:05um and so I had to to move and leave Idaho that was in 2020 but you did a really good introduction
6:14um I appreciate that thank you so I want to start where um with my family with with where
6:22I come from um and how I came to be here and so the reason that I’m speaking out is because
6:31because the things that I began to remember in 2017 were so awful and so overwhelming uh
6:39in in what I was remembering had happened in my life that I felt compelled to speak how it seems
6:49inevitable that if you have any kind of a moral standing you would speak out on these things it’s
6:56just how it how it should be um they have killed me before through Monarch programming and that was
7:04for suicide programming and so I I was dead for for a short period And I went to the other side
7:11and I feel like that impacts my reasoning for speaking out as well because I know that when
7:18we leave this earth we go somewhere somewhere much more beautiful and wonderful than this
7:24place and we’ll see a lot of the folks we knew in this life and so to me it’s a it’s a message that
7:32just needs to be shared but I come from I am a survivor of the Central Intelligence agencies
7:38trauma-based mind control program I was raised in a generationally abusive family a satanic
7:46family bloodline essentially my family reaches back as you mentioned to King Henry VII and
7:55and that’s something my family was always proud of that I was always aware of uh throughout my life
8:01every day always talked about it and we’re proud of that fact um and my grandfather that’s really
8:09where I feel like the Central Intelligence Agency comes into my life is through my grandfather and
8:15through my uncle and Handler and my grandfather he was a Marine in World War II and he became
8:26involved while he was in the Marine Corps uh with with various individuals involved with
8:34things revolving around the mind they would use them for various things such as carrying messages
8:40he worked for a colonel for a while and so he was a courier he would carry messages and he’d be made
8:47to memorize them and my grandfather was abused as a child in my mind that’s how I perceive that and
8:54that’s partly what was wrong with him he ran away when he was 13 years old and so he had
9:00a pretty rough go of life and then the war on top of that he was a Marine Corps scout sniper
9:07um and so it was pretty hard on him but after the war he survived the war and he he joined uh he
9:18worked for the Union Pacific Railroad the Union Pacific Railroad has a history of of Nefarious
9:24Deeds within the upper echelon of that company you can find that research in various books
9:32um but he worked for Union Pacific and in that time he would in his own journaling he
9:40talks about being a Union Pacific and a group of well-dressed suits coming in he’d been called into
9:48the corporate office and they wanted to talk to him and I believe that something happened at that
9:54time where he was pulled back into the military in some way and he was involved with the Central
9:59Intelligence Agency and the Monarch program for quite a ways back I’m not exactly sure how far
10:07back Emma but it goes back a long way and he knew such people as Walt Disney for example who was
10:16connected to Monarch programming and trauma-based mind control um and so my grandfather brought it
10:24into the family in my mind my grandfather also played the role this is a little strange and
10:30hard for people to get their head around but we only know what we’re told and so if for example
10:36someone dies in the media do you really know that they’re dead or is that just what you were
10:43told and so for example my grandfather he was Jim Reeves he played that role in the country music
10:50industry and then when they were done with that character for whatever reason I’m not entirely
10:56sure he was killed that character was killed off and my grandfather lived another life as
11:03as the individual that he was I suppose he was a multiple and he had lots of his own own problems
11:12um and we’ll go through some of that but so it comes through my family and then my uncle and
11:18CIA Handler uh he was a close Uncle Gail Pooley and he he was my Handler and very close member of
11:27our family and he brought it to the family as well I’m not entirely sure about how that relationship
11:34all came together but so I was selected uh because of my ability to dissociate um we were tested as
11:46children tested by a man named Alex Houston to um test us for our ability to disassociate and that
11:57took place at my grandfather and grandmother’s house outside of Nampa Idaho at Lake Lowell and
12:05and that was that was a pretty pretty traumatic little ordeal there we were each taken Alex
12:14Houston came out to the house see my grandparents had gone to Disneyland and for the for the week
12:22as a as a vacation a romantic vacation for them to Southern California and Disneyland
12:28and what they were really there for was they were getting um they were getting told and taught how
12:43and so while they were away to Disneyland getting their their training on how to
12:49raise children in the project we were at my grandparents home staying there for the week and
12:57um they had a guy coming out to entertain us kids and so we were all waiting and you know
13:04as little kids we were excited this guy had a dummy doll thing that he was going to show us you know and and do a little show for us and and so he came up the drive finally it
13:15was evening and he he did a little show for us Alex and um what Elmer I want to say his dummy
13:23yeah and they did this show for us and then after the show they said that they wanted to do a test
13:30they wanted to do something with us kids and so each one of us was taken back into a room there
13:38with Alex and we were tested for our ability to dissociate and so what that entailed is
13:46um we were taken back there one by one first of all and my sister was first
13:51and they had in the room a box that had a hand in it it was a separate human hand and
14:01they just opened it so my sister went back there and she what what the thing was was
14:09would you dissociate and so my sister screamed when she went back there and they showed it to
14:15her and then my older brother he was taken back and he screamed when he saw the human
14:22hand he didn’t dissociate and then when I was taken back I didn’t scream I saw the hand
14:29and I just dissociated from the situation I was there with my grandfather and his friend
14:37I just dissociated and so I was taken back and so I was selected for trauma-based mind
14:44control programming sponsored by the Central Intelligence Agency because there’s a lot of
14:50people doing it not just the CIA the satanic what I call the satanical leader also doing it really
14:57rich people will we consider to be the elite a lot of them now I’m not saying all I don’t know
15:05that for sure but what I witnessed was a lot of them are involved with Satanism and trauma-based
15:12mind control they put their own kids through it and so that was the test that we were put through
15:20uh there at my grandparents house and so I was selected at the age of five and then the next year
15:26we began our trauma-based mind control programming at the Disneyland facility in Anaheim California
15:35there’s a lot of human human bio programming trauma-based mind control programming going
15:41on at Disneyland in Anaheim California I realized how crazy that sounds but that’s what’s going on
15:49it the best place to hide something is in plain sight and so in Disneyland underneath that park
15:58there are various tunnels and rooms and areas set up specifically for Monarch programming for
16:07doing things like filming Kitty porn killing people human trafficking holding people there
16:15for use by the agency or other individuals I’m not entirely sure who else on that but there’s
16:25a lot going on there and so we every year we’d go there well not every year I take that back there
16:33were a couple years we didn’t go I believe and so I don’t I don’t know Emma how many times I’ve
16:39been to Disneyland so many times that it it just every year that’s where we went on family vacation
16:47um but there was a lot of programming that took place there I’ve been able to work through uh my year there in 84 and my year there in 93 or 95 I forget which
17:02and so it’s been a lot of work though working through those those events and those years and
17:09so I’ll keep working on them and try to get through them all but there’s a lot there to work through and so I started to remember all these awful things taking place in 2017
17:24um which sent me on this journey to understand what had happened to me and how I had gotten to
17:31where I was and Disneyland was part of it because my wife would ask me you know why can’t you
17:38remember things about this or that and I couldn’t tell her a whole lot about our trips to Disneyland
17:45um and so she noticed that I had memory issues as far as my past goes and so
17:53um things like that really started to push me into exploring what was going on
18:00um I feel like I should talk about that a little bit how I came to the point where I
18:05was where I’m at now does that make sense Emma yes absolutely yeah let’s do that and then we
18:13can you know is your connection going okay yeah it’s good okay my connection’s acting up pretty
18:20bad and so I’m trying to make sure that you can still hear me yep I can hear you okay very cool
18:28yeah so you know Disneyland was a huge part of our Lives growing up and I didn’t understand the
18:36context of that until around 2017 when I started to work through these things
18:42and so one of the things that pushed me through even wanting to know what had happened to me in
18:50my past um was the fact that I felt like something was wrong in my life because life was really Emma
19:00pretty good like I had have a beautiful wonderful wife we have beautiful children we had land in
19:06Idaho it was a beautiful place and a beautiful place to be in life but I felt like something was
19:13wrong all the time in my mind I felt like there was it’s difficult to explain and my wife noticed
19:20this as well and one of the things that really was a catalyst though and so I started to feel like
19:30something was just a little bit wrong but I also began to understand I couldn’t remember things
19:36and so one of the catalysts of that was uh that Charlie Pride you maybe have heard me
19:43talk about it before seen it in my website Charlie Pride I went to that Charlie Pride
19:48show with my grandparents when I was a teenager and for the life of me the way that I remembered
19:56it initially up until 2017 when I started to work through it I did not meet Charlie Pride I did not
20:04meet that man he was backstage and I never talked to him and when my wife and I were talking about
20:12the picture that he signed it blew me away that he had actually signed it because in my mind he
20:20hadn’t signed it we got an autographed picture there at the show and in my mind only oh two
20:27maybe three individuals had signed it from the band but not Charlie and so when my wife said
20:32no Johnny Charlie signed that picture and I went and I found it and it was signed it was up in our
20:39attic it blew me away I was like oh my goodness I just could not believe it how could it be that I
20:46couldn’t remember meeting this man he was a famous country musicianist why wouldn’t I remember that
20:53and so when I understood that that I couldn’t remember things I thought well
20:59it was a hard thing to do Emma but I thought to myself I need to see a therapist that’s a hard
21:05thing to accept as an individual that you need to see a therapist because something’s wrong but I
21:12made that choice I said something is wrong and so I started seeing a therapist and I started
21:18working through it unfortunately I wasn’t able to see her for very long because uh the things
21:23that would happen when I’d come to see her uh it just started to scare her and the things that I
21:30was talking about she didn’t it was just way over her head she was this sweet sweet older
21:36lady this older Christian lady and and it just it was too much for her really all of it and so I
21:44was only able to see her for a short time yeah which was unfortunate but she helped me a lot
21:51she helped me to work through that first barrier because in in Monarch programming you hit walls
21:58you hit walls and they’re difficult to go through and it takes something to push you sometimes
22:04through that wall and so that’s really that leads right into the premise of Monarch programming
22:12which is dissociation and the creation of multiple personalities within an individual and so that’s
22:20the whole point of all of that I don’t know if we’ve said that another thing I’d like to say just so folks are aware as we’re talking about these things we may cover some things that are triggers
22:31um I don’t know if you warned anyone of that yet or not but that might be something people
22:36need to pay attention to so that there will be triggers in our conversation
22:42so I started seeing a therapist and and um started to work through all my memories and
22:50tried to understand clearly what I had uh what had happened to me when I was a child
22:57and what I started to find was just mind-blowing Emma it just blew me away
23:03and one day I came home and my wife she was and she was down taking a walk and I ran down to her
23:11on her walk there on our property and I said babe babe this is really weird but you’re married to uh
23:19CIA Sleeper Agent a CIA sleeper assassin I said this is really it really freaked me out because
23:30of the things that I was remembering and one of the ways that I was able to start working through
23:36these things really the therapist helped a lot Emma but what really helped was journaling it out
23:43I read some of Kathy O’Brien’s work I haven’t read it all um seems to me like she’s a wonderful
23:50individual and I think very highly of her but her work is really interesting and really well
23:58done and so I read her first book and some of so when I thought I saw a therapist and started
24:06to understand that something was wrong and we started to work through it after that period
24:12of time started I started looking into Kathy’s work and one of the things that really blew me
24:18away in Kathy’s work were the correlations and so for example there’s a part in Kathy’s book where
24:26she talks about being programmed to be a message Courier by someone sticking a knife in her chest
24:34and the first night I read this I didn’t it didn’t hit me and I put the book away and I went to bed
24:42and then the next night I sat down with the book and I was reading it and I didn’t know where I had
24:49left off the night before and so I just started at the top of the page and said I’ll just read the whole thing and so I started reading the whole page again and when I came through the the section
25:01where she talks about the individual sticking a knife in her it hit me like a ton of bricks
25:08my uncle doing the same programming to myself and my uncle was the first person that I remember
25:15doing it to me I was had that happen to me by several individuals and was also tortured in
25:20that way by my grandfather at another experience in McCall and that was actually on the 4th of
25:27July that’s something I haven’t written about but that was a horrific experience they’re just cruel
25:32people they’re disassociative multiples and so but back to this back to where I was at and so I
25:41I remembered this event uh occurring and it just blew me away because I have a scar on my chest
25:48in the exact location that Kathy described I just took my shirt off and I was like holy [ __ ] look
25:55and I could remember my uncle with the switchblade sticking it in me making me memorize and things
26:02that’s what I first remembered and so that was really shocking the scars that I found on my
26:09body have really been been difficult to to just disregard because I have scars that I’m I’ve been
26:19like well how did I even get that for years I wonder how did I get this scar where did it
26:25come from and to remember where I got them is is interesting it really you just remember how you
26:33got a scar that’s that’s all there is to it you just remember um do you have any questions Emma
26:42I’m sorry I’m talking an awful lot oh you’re doing awesome thank you so much for everything
26:47that you’re sharing I know that this stuff you know it’s like you said it it sounds crazy because
26:53it is you know these are literal Psychopaths that are you know collaborating together to exploit the
27:02gifts that we’re born with in children you know and it’s just horrific you know and then seeing
27:08all the different elements that go into these stories you know people get little Snippets here
27:14and there about you know human trafficking for example you know that word was word now but like
27:21the misunderstanding of what that entails to the depths of it and even as you were talking about
27:26with therapy you know it’s really sad even that in therapeutic settings you know did
27:33um trauma actually storing in the body manifesting as disease you know and the different symptoms
27:38that SRA and MK Ultra survivors go through it’s so discredited and you know conspiratorial in a sense
27:47and it’s really sad you know because it’s like gosh how I mean how much more amazing would your
27:52healing Journey maybe have been in the beginning if you would have had a therapist that like was on the same page with you and was like oh I know exactly like you have did you know let’s work
28:01through it yeah of like getting scared you know so I really appreciate you bringing light to all
28:06of this because it it doesn’t sound crazy when you actually hear all the pieces and how they
28:13fit together in a story like yours you know it makes sense and so you talking about this is so
28:20important to validate so many other experiences of people who maybe can’t get up here and talk or will never have a voice for whatever reason you know it’s so validating for people listening
28:29and for other survivors so you’re doing awesome yeah well thank you all right on yeah well I’m
28:36glad you can hear me on that side my internet is working a little better now so oh good okay yeah I
28:43wanted to invest so if I can um you mentioned the 4th of July is there anything in particular about
28:50that day um of why they would choose the Fourth of July for an event I don’t sell I don’t hear
28:57that event talked about as much as say Christmas or some of the other holidays that they choose to
29:03do really horrible things on and since it’s July I thought maybe I’d ask you about the significance
29:08yeah yeah no that’s a good question Emma um they they use holidays a lot and so are they
29:16you they use and they used on me holidays a lot and so I have to pay particular attention
29:22to those like you say Christmas Thanksgiving big family get-togethers when people would get
29:29together my family we lived really close with my my abuse base was close and so it get-togethers
29:39even included birthdays I gotta watch those because a lot of things on your birthday
29:47um about the Fourth of July I I don’t know quite how to answer that because it is an important day
29:55in the country and for various Patriots and so yeah I I don’t quite know how to answer
30:04that yeah I don’t know of the randomity of that date compared to any other so as
30:10far as the holiday goes anyway yeah that’s totally fine I appreciate you you know even
30:15just explaining the holiday concept because it is you know they they take everything that’s good and they twist it so it’s not they do what they do is they turn it upside down
30:26um yeah to use a trigger is up is down and so in Satanism and in the project
30:35um Up Is Down you take good turn it bad you take bad you make it good dark becomes light
30:43they’re they’re really into opposites and so it’s important to pay attention to opposites uh for
30:50example uh one opposite to pay attention to is uh in numbers the numbers 666 is always considered to
30:59be the devil’s number but in Satanism everything’s inverted and so an even more important number is
31:06999 because 999 has been inverted and so it has hidden meaning and so that’s something I pay close
31:14attention to and I’m out and about and maybe there’s a car that is making me uncomfortable
31:21what is this license plate say so yeah just as a side note there um but maybe what I wouldn’t mind
31:30doing really quick Emma is explaining to folks what trauma-based mind control is because there
31:37might be some folks who don’t understand that and this helps to explain why I’m trying to blow the
31:42whistle on this because I’ve tried very hard to blow the whistle on this I’ve contacted the FBI
31:48I’ve contacted the Attorney General of the United States I’ve contacted Trump when he was in office
31:54I don’t trust Biden I’m not going to contact Biden I don’t want to get into politics but
32:00I’ve contacted a lot of people and I’ve tried to blow the whistle on this even down to talking to
32:07local sheriffs and everyone is just afraid of it they they don’t even know how to even as law
32:15enforcement to process it or they’ve been told to shut up and they’re not going to talk to me
32:20about it right one or the other one or the other yeah and so what it is the Central Intelligence
32:28agency’s trauma-based mind control program it is essentially taking children um and bringing them
32:37up through trauma the most important children are children who were generationally abused
32:44so children who abuses runs in their family one of the most horrific forms of abuse for a child to
32:53push you to a point of dissociation is child abuse and child abuse by your own family it’s it’s awful
33:02and it’s so awful that it pushes your mind out of your body you disassociate sometimes you leave
33:08entirely and I can remember I have several flashes of I should say on that of being out of my body
33:17I can remember being out of my body when I was in the depth tanks and they had run me through
33:23suicide programming but that was a different experience but they will push you out of your body
33:28and the point of the whole project is just that to find children that disassociate who are strong
33:36in dissociation and the strongest ones come from generationally abusive families and a lot of those
33:45generationally abusive families uh come from Elite bloodlines and so the rich are into this like I
33:53was saying the very wealthy they live a completely different lifestyle one might say than the general
33:59population and the strongest that disassociate are those that come from generationally abusive
34:09families and then you include in that satanic generationally abusive families and that’s what
34:15I come from is from a generational a satanic generationally abusive family my family are
34:22satanists and they’re hiding in the Mormon Church religious institutions are free of this and it’s
34:29not only the government religious institutions are aware of this I was raised in the Mormon church
34:36and so that’s where my background comes from and I was connected to Gordon B Hinckley and Thomas
34:43Monson and Aaron and those are the individuals that were in my life I was going to be placed
34:49under uh Hinckley in an internship in Salt Lake but back to what I was talking about with the
34:56purpose of it the purpose of it and how they do it is they do it through trauma and um so they abuse
35:04you from the time that you’re born I can remember being abused as far back as I can remember and
35:12and then they make you witness awful things and so my grandfather for example he was a psychopath and
35:19he killed people for the CIA and so I would have to witness this firsthand as well as the disposal
35:26of individuals which was very bad to go through and so I don’t eat pork a lot of people that were
35:34were killed by the agency and the satanic Network were fed to Hawks they’re fed to pigs pigs will
35:42eat anything and so I’ve heard people talk about well where’s the evidence where are the bodies
35:48for these things well they were fed to Hogs it’s they control Hog Farms and so there’s also other
35:56means such as there’s a beetle that’ll eat the human body as well and so I’ve witnessed those
36:02being used as well and those are not a very cheap option they’re very expensive um so you witness
36:10all these horrible things the first time I can remember people being killed was in Disneyland
36:17um this little girl that was held under the park there and we were taken off of a ride
36:23um and taken down under the park and then made to witness uh what I would call a blood sacrifice
36:30ceremony of sorts and um that’s a long story do you want me to tell that story it’s kind of
36:37gruesome I can tell it if you want it’s up to you if you’re comfortable telling it I know it always
36:43gives listeners context but there’s absolutely no pressure If it’s not something that you want to get into right now okay I don’t mind talking about it these things are all pretty awful
36:52and they’re you know I live through it so and on this too like your your the audience listening to
37:01you they’ve listened to you know they kind of expect a level of discomfort you know they’re
37:07they’re listening to horrible things every episode you know so you’re in front of the right people who are going to be receptive to you know holding and holding space for what you’re saying okay okay
37:17so at Disneyland uh one of the ways that they do programming and this isn’t the only way but one
37:26of the ways is uh they will act like a ride broke down and so you’ll be loaded on the ride and then
37:33the ride will start up and usually you’re put in between various cars so my family my older
37:40brother and sister oftentimes would be loaded in front of us me and my younger brother because my
37:46younger brother was also selected uh during the test for Alex Houston and so he also went through
37:53a lot of a lot of trauma-based mind control programming and we went through it together
37:58and so we would be loaded on the right but they’d put a car between us or two and then put us on and
38:06then send us in and then the ride would break down and it would stop and it wouldn’t be going and a
38:14moment or two would go by we would be unloaded from that ride it would be in the it would stop
38:21at the right spot and we would be unloaded from the ride and we would be taken under the park
38:27and in one particular instance on my first trip there I can remember being taken under the park
38:33taken off the ride and being made to witness my grandfather um yeah committing murder under the
38:42park so what happened is uh it was the wild toe bride and it stopped out in the ride I was with
38:50my little brother and my dad and someone came out through a door out of the the ride setting
38:57and they got us but my we were scared me and my little brother and so we didn’t want to go
39:04without our dad and he came with us that time this was right at the beginning of it all in my
39:09life as far as programming at Disneyland and so he came with us and we went under the park and
39:19and when we got down into the tunnels we were taken into a room by this young man
39:25and my grandfather was in this room it was very dark my grandfather was in there he had
39:31the robe on a black robe and he was very angry at this individual for bringing my dad he told
39:38him not to bring my dad with him and so he he had to take my dad back up my grandpa he took
39:45me and my little brother back into this other room and in that room Emma were cages set up
39:52in that room and they were set up around what I would consider to be an altar and that altar
39:59was there for for killing people for killing the children that were held under the park in
40:07these cages and so this might be really hard for people to hear but these people are inhuman and
40:13the trauma that they’re trying to initiate is so bad it’s unimaginable there are two children that
40:20were held under the park at that time in cages and my grandfather he he killed in front of me
40:26and my little brother one of the girls that was held there she was just this sweet little girl
40:33and he just took her out yeah and he he put her on the on the Altar and he he killed that little girl
40:41and the altar was designed so that um the blood of the people that they would kill
40:48would be caught and they would catch it in a in a bowl it was usually white because of the contrast
40:55of the blood and see blood Emma that’s drawn through trauma it has certain chemicals in it
41:03and satanists believed that that blood is powerful and it gives them longevity in life and so a lot
41:11of the stuff that we’re talking about too when we’re talking about traum-based mind control is
41:17um it’s very satanic and it’s involved with dark magic when I first remembered or or I shouldn’t
41:25say first remember when I first started to remember and it when I realized what I had
41:33lived through it hit me so hard when I broke through the wall when I was with my therapist
41:42and now we’re going back to 2017 when I see my therapist it it felt as though I had broken a
41:49very powerful spell that is the only way I could describe it to my wife was that a very powerful
41:59spell had been broken and so there’s a lot of Satanism involved with that in particular in
42:06what I was what I experienced and what I lived through unfortunately and what a lot of other
42:12people live through which is terrible but back to Disneyland that little girl was uh murdered
42:19and we were made to drink and consume her blood my grandfather made my little brother and I both
42:26also drink they started that from a very young age and that followed through my life up until
42:34I was a young adult the last time I can remember being made to do that was on an operation in Haley
42:43Idaho there and outside of Ketchum and so then you’d be put back on the ride so at Disneyland
42:51we were made to be involved with these things and then we’d be put back on the ride and then
42:56the ride would start up again all these things we were also made to make porn under there that was a
43:02common theme and um and be involved with things of that nature there are also people Emma that
43:10were there being programmed for acting which is interesting to me and so that in the project in
43:19the program there are your program a lot of people are programmed for different life paths I would
43:25call them and so for me I was being raised uh in a family where we got rid of people for the federal
43:33government that’s what we did as a family and we also got rid of people with the satanic Network
43:41and the satanic Network that I was involved with is directly connected to the Mormon Church
43:47which is it’s just too bad that the religious institutions are involved with these things but
43:55that’s somewhere that Satan is hide and so the Mormon church is well aware of trauma-based mind
44:01control programming and and they’re directly involved with it they provide generationally
44:07abused children to the church one of the big things in the church for example is genealogy
44:13that genealogy that they’re working on is also used to find Elite family Bloodlines satanic
44:19family Bloodlines and they’re able to follow that and they’re able to work with those children this
44:26helps them in the project and so these various institutions such as religion government those
44:32are able to be used by the satanic Elite and by the government intelligence Community for various
44:40things and that’s one of the things that they use it for and so I’ve jumped around an awful
44:47lot I want to finish up on on the premise of trauma-based mind control programming
44:53um because it is important and so the premise of it is to cause you to disassociate through
45:01trauma we talked about that and then once you are in that state of disassociation and Trauma they
45:09program you we could call it with a new personality for whatever it is they want you
45:17doing in that personality and so there are lots of different personalities that they will create
45:24I don’t know how many I have but I’ve learned to work through them that’s something that I still
45:30work with and still have to work through and they will create them for uh doing things like
45:39um well we’ve talked about assassinations that will program you to do such things as that or
45:45murder for the network they will also program you to make pornography I was made to make an
45:52extensive amount of child pornography I was used as a child to make I I can’t even tell you how
46:00much and my family was heavily involved with that they had a video store there in Nampa and and so
46:08out the front door they’d be renting videos about Disneyland and the recent Blockbusters and then
46:14out the back door would go kitty porn it was very messed up and I can remember being made
46:20to be involved with that uh clear up into being a young adult and that’s something that the satanic
46:27leader into too what we’re talking about are moral boundaries and if you’re a Satanist you
46:33are not concerned about moral boundaries those are something for common people and so yeah it’s
46:41difficult to get into the minds of those folks they’re yeah they’re not very healthy but the
46:49premise of it is to create those personalities so that they can use you for various tasks and one
46:55of the benefits of of a mind slave because that’s what it is you’re a slave you’re a trauma-based
47:01mind slave you’re living in a state of mind slavery which to me is one of the worst things
47:07you can do to an individual and that’s one of the reasons that I’m so outspoken on this is because
47:13you steal someone’s free will to to live their life and do what they will with their own body
47:20and their own mind they steal your mind through this process of disassociation and the creation
47:26of another personality or multiples of them and so it’s a terrible thing to do you’re stealing
47:34someone’s Free Will which is just wrong you’re you’re living in an upside down um world and
47:44what they’re able to do Emma is make it so that you can’t remember being in that personality or
47:52going through the trauma that you endured and so yes you are caused to dissociate you’re put
47:59through trauma which in and of itself is difficult on the human mind and difficult to recall pure
48:05trauma and then you add into it creating a multiple personality well the CIA in particular
48:12has gotten very good at the scientific aspect of it we’re going to call it and one of those
48:18scientific aspects is hypnosis this is an old practice that is very effective on disassociative
48:28people and they will use uh hypnosis every time I was put through trauma I was put through hypnosis
48:35afterward to remember to forget those events and they will put various things in that hypnosis
48:43like suicide programming and things like that if if that’s what they’re working with and so they
48:52will use hypnosis and then another thing that they will use is electrocution and so my father
48:58he was given when I was six years old and I was in Disneyland they’re in 84 we were at the hotel
49:04and um this is where nefarious individual named Mr bird comes in because um I knew Senator Robert
49:13Burke he was a scumbag he was in charge of of funding the Central Intelligence agency’s mind
49:21control program not a good person and he was friends with my grandfather my grandfather and
49:27him worked together I’m not quite positive about the extent of that but it seemed to be pretty
49:33extensive from what I can remember and so when I was in Disneyland we were me and my little brother
49:40we were sent out and we’re in a hotel to backtrack just a little bit just to digress we were in
49:46a hotel we’ve been at Disneyland all day this was after we’d witnessed that that little girl
49:52um having you know being murdered and we were taken back to the hotel after that day at the
50:00hottest part of the day and we went swimming and so when we were swimming my mother she stayed in
50:09the hotel and she came and got us after a short time my dad he was out soon with us but my mom
50:15came out and she got my little brother and I and my dad and brought us back inside and um there was
50:22someone there to see us and so we went out front and it was my grandfather and Senator Berg and
50:27they were there uh they had a black Cadillac that they had driven there they like fancy nice cars
50:34and they were both in suits and as a kid I was like my God it’s so hot how can you even be in
50:40that thing and that was um that was the first year as a Disneyland and bird gave my father a taser
50:50at that time out there in the parking lot he said here this is for uh working with the kids
50:56you have to use this on them and he explained that we had to pick a spot on our bodies where
51:02we were going to get hit with this thing for the rest of our lives because it leaves a scar and I have that scar right here on my leg and I was always told it was a birthmark as far back
51:13as I can remember but I’m like no no no dude I remember that’s not that’s not a birthmark and so
51:25um we were hit with a taser after we talked to them so Mr bird and my grandfather they left they
51:32talked to us for a little while you know asked us how Disneyland was and all that and asked how we were doing because we were pretty shook up from it as little kids really you know and then we
51:42were taken back into the hotel and my father hit us with those things and you want to talk about betrayal and uh the feeling of just pure betrayal because I had no idea what was coming I was six
51:53years old and to be taken back into the bathroom and you know my dad’s like so where are we gonna
52:00do this thing at and I had to choose you know on my leg and and then Wham and I just went down and
52:08the pain is just Indescribable of what that thing does but it it it it erases your it doesn’t erase
52:16your memory it compartmentalizes it it pushes it away it pushes it back and with the hypnotism you
52:23give did a conduit to go away as well that’s something else that’s important because these
52:31things are all used in conjunction with each other it’s not just you can do one thing and expect an
52:37outcome and so they’re all used in conjunction they have it down to a science and so people like
52:43me because we disassociate and we have multiple personalities for multiple purposes we’re used
52:51for a lot of Nefarious and illegal activities by the federal government and so you’d be brought in
52:57for for basically the Dirty Deeds of the federal government what they needed to do that that could
53:05not be out in the open and they needed to have full deniability of it and so I was involved with
53:11things like assassinations for example where we would be sent in and we would get rid of people
53:18I was used in um in Japan for example over in Kobe Japan that was in 1997 I want to say
53:29and I was taken over there and we got rid of a man named masaro takumi and I was a sniper that was
53:37positioned up on a roof because the gang that was going in see the Massaro takumi story is very long
53:46because Masaru was connected to the cult the alumsham rikyo cult and the gassing of the Tokyo
53:57subway system he he provided funds he didn’t know it he didn’t know he was providing funds to the OM
54:05shinrichio and that they were going to use it to gas the Tokyo subway system he didn’t know but his
54:13mistress was the brother of heideki sejal who it was a famous musicianist in Japan he died back in
54:222018 when I started to remember all these things all of a sudden heideki dies of a heart attack
54:28within oh I forget how long when I started to remember it was terrible but he was involved
54:36because he supported the OM shinrichial cult and he would provide them with funds I don’t
54:43know that he knew what they were going to do with him either but his sister who was masaru’s
54:49mistress would ask Masaru for money she’d give it to her brother he’d give it to the cold and that
54:56cult ended up gassing the Tokyo subway system but the cult itself was an MK Ultra product
55:03this is such a such a twisted deep Network that they have created and so those people in that
55:11cult that were at the top were mind slaves and they were created uh through Monarch programming
55:18and they were a CIA asset and the CIA was well aware that they were going to gas the Tokyo subway
55:24system and the Pentagon even provided the gas they are the ones who sold the Colt the gas to do it
55:33which is it’s incredible the way the network goes but people aren’t all good and they don’t
55:42all see the world through the same eyes that that people who are good see the world through
55:49and that is a problem but we can learn to work through it part of the problem is the National
55:55Security Act a lot of these things are hidden behind the 1947 National Security Act and people
56:01have no idea what’s going on they don’t know and it’s all under lock and key labeled as top secret
56:08and classified and people aren’t allowed to see it and so it’s a terrible thing but
56:15right yeah do you have any questions Emma I’ve been talking an awful lot no you’re doing great this is a lot of information I appreciate you giving some background on that
56:26um again it makes it validating to understand the logistics and the intent behind creating something
56:36like this because without the context again all this stuff the way that it has been leaked into
56:43society the little bits and pieces that people get again it becomes conspiratorial so really
56:50understanding the history and the purpose in realizing we’re not taught about how powerful
56:55our bodies are and our brains are in school that that information that the Divinity within us is
57:01left out of any education like people feel like crap we have depression everywhere and if people
57:07understood how how they could use something that you understand that was exploited in you
57:13for something good yeah you could be able to in an instant turn all this around you know but they
57:20hide that Divinity from us and instead they know it exists and they exploit it on the back end and
57:26profit from it and it is so sick and sad you know and again like you being able to to break that
57:33down so eloquently and to articulate the purposes why somebody would want a mind sleeve right why
57:41wouldn’t the government want just kind of not Expendable people but people that aren’t them to
57:47do their Dirty Deeds so they can continue to be in the spotlight and look good and have other people go and do the stuff that they you know are to you know cowardly to do themselves in a sense and and
57:58so evil to even want to do to begin with you know so I just want to thank you for giving some of
58:04that history because it really does help people connect dots on their head and say that makes
58:10sense like I could see our government wanting to do that I could see how and why somebody would
58:15choose a church to hide this in you know it’s the perfect disguise exactly how you know Freemasons
58:21hide in plain view and through charity and they’re so evil you know and even mentioned Disney you
58:27know he was a Walt Disney was a Freemason I’ve heard higher than the 33rd degree but I mean these
58:33people hide in these very you know charismatic and exciting archetypes you know and even talking
58:40about your grandpa like wearing the identity of a a singer that’s just literally a an alias it
58:49wasn’t even his true identity you know these things are so left out of society so I really
58:55appreciate what you’re bringing to the table because it does validate these stories on such a deep level and I know it’s going to be it’s going to be very helpful in connecting dots with people
59:04yeah yeah all the stories coming together do help connect the dots but something I’d like
59:10to add when I first started to remember these things I had a friend of mine ask me he said why
59:17would they do this why would they why would they want someone like that why wouldn’t they just have
59:24have an agent or a soldier do that and the reason Emma is because it’s not all black and white and
59:34if you have a healthy minded individual who is your agent or Soldier and you tell them I want
59:41you to kill this man who is an enemy of the state and I want you to kill his wife and his children
59:51as well that individual is going to say he’s going to question that or she that individual
59:59if they’re a healthy minded individual is going to question that that’s immoral and that’s one
1:00:05of the reasons that they want mind slaves it is because they don’t remember because they will do
1:00:11things such as smuggle drugs or be used in porn or be used for blackmail or be used for assassination
1:00:17and they won’t remember but it’s also because they will do what you tell them to do without question
1:00:25that’s a big key to it as well and so I had to explain that to my friend and when you bring that
1:00:33into context it also helps with an understanding of it because it is dark and it is evil I was used
1:00:41um so I was raised in in this program with through the Central Intelligence Agency and I was used for all kinds of Nefarious things including child porn and assassinations
1:00:54which is too bad it’s a terrible thing and a terrible thing to live with but
1:01:05and I do if I could ask you one question actually yeah you can I mean the role that your parents
1:01:11played in this or how like kind of their history and their role um whether they were mind control
1:01:18slaves to you or sort of how they fit into the picture well that’s a good question Emma yeah so
1:01:26my father he was very he was abusive but he seems as though he was a disassociative multiple in some
1:01:33way as well and he was involved with the project because my grandfather it involved all of us in
1:01:41the project that he was able to and so my father he was involved with the project but he didn’t
1:01:47we all have strength strengths and weaknesses and my father um he made
1:01:55it so far I guess you would say in the project and his role um when he had us was to raise us
1:02:04um to raise us in the program and in the project and so he was one of our key abusers
1:02:11and so it seems to me that he was a disassociated multiple because of the
1:02:16horrendous abuse that he was capable of my mother she also seems to be a dissociated multiple but
1:02:24I don’t yeah I I pray for my mother I hope that she’s okay but yeah but I that’s a difficult one
1:02:35because she seems to me more like a tool than anything who is disassociative and they’re able
1:02:42to work with and keep her under control I would say and so my parents um yeah does that answer
1:02:54your question yes thank you so much for that yeah because I know it does it does have a generational
1:03:00effect you know and a lot of times unfortunately there does seem to be more of a I know they’re all
1:03:08unconscious to a degree but there’s there does seem to be kind of a leader in the family that originally takes on the role and then it’s very dissociative on the way down you know to where
1:03:18it’s just an autopilot you know multi-generational it’s how the trauma stores and the DNA you know
1:03:23it just becomes like a normal pattern in the family so it’s really sad to hear about that you know that your father also didn’t you know have his Free Will and you know was forced to do
1:03:35these horrific things it’s just it’s disgusting and it’s sad you know it’s yeah yeah it is yeah
1:03:43but that is what they do though they use families because families have a huge bind of trust within
1:03:51them you know you’re your family that’s someone that you should be able to trust right completely
1:03:59yeah not in the project yeah so so I was raised in this in the cia’s mind control program but we
1:04:08were protected through the Mormon church I would say a message that I would like to communicate
1:04:14is that the more my church is being controlled by a satanic Kabul those men who are up there at the
1:04:22top those men are not good people they’re very bad people I personally knew Hinckley I’d met him back
1:04:31in 95 after he became the prophet and I met Thomas Monson and they were both bad people not good and
1:04:42Hinckley I met because my my uncle and CIA Handler he did the presentation for Hinckley I I don’t
1:04:50know if you’re LDS at all or if you were raised in the church Emma but that in the church the prophet
1:04:57he’s like the head guy he’s the pope you would say of the LDS church and he was invited to to uh
1:05:07to my uncle’s Ward I suppose he was invited he came to my uncle’s Ward to speak in Haley Idaho
1:05:13and that’s where I met him because I was told that I had to come and meet the prophet and see
1:05:19him speak and so we went and my uncle he housed us me and a friend of mine who was also a mind slave
1:05:26as well uh I was I was raised around other kids that were also my slaves said that we’re in the
1:05:33project and in the program and we’d be used to handle each other and keep each other in line
1:05:39uh or be used for um aliases for various things you know where was so and so oh well this person
1:05:48can vouch that they were over here but we met we met Hinckley there in Haley uh they we did
1:05:55a presentation for him because my uncle arranged it because Hinckley had just become the prophet of
1:06:01the Mormon Church the president and he wanted to know what was going on with the Mormon kids from
1:06:09abusive families and satanic families he wanted to know what the government was doing with us
1:06:15and so me and this other kid Chris we were used in the presentation and it was done in my uncle’s
1:06:22basement in his office there and we were used to show what it was that they were doing with us and
1:06:31so I thought as a kid you know that I was going to hear the prophet speak and I was just going to go
1:06:37to church and that was that but we went to church and we heard Hinckley talk and it was really weird
1:06:44when he even arrived at all because he came in through the side door after a church had already
1:06:49started and then he was seated up in the front and he sat next to my uncle and they talked for quite
1:06:56a while and it looked like they were having quite the conversation I can remember watching them and I was like my goodness what is what is Gail doing talking with Hinckley what are they talking about
1:07:06because you got to keep in mind we’re in the middle of the service someone’s given a talk
1:07:11you know and so they’re up there talking and then Hinckley was finally got up he gave his talk it
1:07:19was short and and just just pretty mundane I was blown away I was expecting something prophetic
1:07:27like wow this is the profit this is going to be incredible I’m going to be moved Emma Beyond
1:07:33imagination no I it was like wow okay I’ve heard that talk like ten thousand times in my Mormon
1:07:41past you know and so that was a little disappointing and then they they he sat down after
1:07:48giving his talk and he talked to my uncle for a little while more and then they left the prophet
1:07:53left uh in the middle of the meeting they said okay everyone we’re stopping for a minute and the
1:07:59prophet’s leaving and so they all laughed through the same side door they’d come in but when he’d come into Emma he was surrounded by bodyguards uh the prophet which blew me away I was I was a young
1:08:11man and I’m sitting there and I’m like why why would the Mormon prophet need to be surrounded
1:08:17by bodyguards it didn’t make much sense to me in my mind because I figured if you were a man of God
1:08:22God’s going to take care of you until it’s time to go and then it’s time to go and so what’s the
1:08:29problem why would you worry about it if you were the prophet well he was surrounded by bodyguards
1:08:34and so then they all laughed and then sacrament meeting ended and uh Chris and I we had been
1:08:41told that we’re supposed to go back over to my uncle’s house after church and we’re supposed to
1:08:48um come back over there because there was something going on and so we were told to head over there and we got into our car we drove over there first I talked to my cousin because I
1:08:58was a little nervous about it uh I was like why are we going over there what’s going on and so I
1:09:04went and found my cousin and she told me no we’re not going back over to the house well what are you
1:09:09talking about and her and her friends went back in the building well Chris and I were like well we better get over there you know my I knew my uncle didn’t like to be made to wait and so we headed up
1:09:19there drove up to the house we went inside seemed like no one was there we went down in the basement
1:09:25and uh knocked on the door well we were supposed to do a secret handshake my
1:09:31uncle had shown me this handshake you see Emma before this the night before
1:09:38all this happened before the prophet spoke we stayed at my uncle’s house and we stayed in
1:09:45the basement next to my uncle’s office and uh we were very heavily abused that night
1:09:53because they were getting us ready to meet the Mormon prophet my grandfather came up from the
1:09:58Boise Valley it was about a two and a half three hour drive from Boise to Haley my grandfather
1:10:04drove up and another individual that I know is Kyle he was there and if Kyle wouldn’t have been
1:10:11there it would have been really bad my grandfather might have killed us it was such a horrible
1:10:17experience and my grandfather was out of his mind and so they tortured us through the night I don’t
1:10:23I’m not sure how long they tortured us for and and worked on us to get us ready for in the morning
1:10:30and in the morning when I woke up I felt terrible Emma I just felt horrible and my body would just
1:10:37felt awful and I I couldn’t understand why I was like is the room stuffy what is wrong with
1:10:43me and got out of bed got moving and my uncle he met me in the hall and he told me that he
1:10:51needed to show me a handshake and this is where he told me I needed to come back to the house after church and he showed me this handshake and he said you need to remember this because
1:11:01when you come back after church you need to come down to the office and you you need to know this
1:11:06handshake to get in the door when you get here and I was just kind of like okay like I was half
1:11:13awake I’d been up all night being tortured and he showed it to me and I could not remember it
1:11:19and he says do you got it and I tried it again and I I couldn’t hardly remember this handshake
1:11:26and he he was like okay you got it you’re good and then he left and in my mind I was like oh
1:11:33no I don’t got it I sure hope I got it because I don’t feel like I do and then and so we went
1:11:41to church and we listened to the prophet and all that and then we came back to the house well now
1:11:47we’re standing at the door to get into his office and I knocked on the door and Chris he’s behind me
1:11:52and Chris he was a young man he was a funny kid he had a loaf of bread we’d been fasting all morning
1:11:58because we were supposed to fast we were often told we couldn’t eat when we were going through
1:12:03programming sections because it affects the human mind it puts you into more of a survival State and
1:12:10so we were fasting quote that morning and so Chris he grabbed a loaf of bread on the way in and he’s
1:12:17standing there eating a loaf of bread and I know on the door and the door I hear some noise inside
1:12:24and I was like oh man what what is going on in here and the door opens and a hand sticks out
1:12:32and I see the hand and I realize okay I have to know the handshake now and so I tried to shake
1:12:39his hand and remember but Emma I couldn’t remember what the handshake was my uncle had not programmed
1:12:45me well enough to remember it these people are not perfect and they don’t get everything right and in
1:12:52my mind you know they have a process but they’re really not that great at it there’s a lot of flaws
1:12:58to it and yeah part of it is just because they’re scum but I couldn’t remember the handshake and so
1:13:08so the hand goes back in and the door closes and I hear some some murmuring behind the
1:13:15door and I was like oh no I did not remember it now in the project Emma if you screwed up
1:13:21you just period you didn’t know how long you were going to be alive you witnessed so many people die
1:13:27in front of you and part of that was to keep you honest on a constant state of alertness that you
1:13:34better keep your [ __ ] together and you better do your job right or you might be the one who’s
1:13:39next and so I was a little afraid about the fact that I couldn’t remember well Chris just pushed
1:13:45me out of the way luckily Chris could remember well I guess luckily we should have ran the hell out of there at that moment but Chris could remember and he pushed me out of the way he
1:13:55knocked on the door the hand came out and he was able to shake it and we were able to go inside
1:14:01and so he did remember because my uncle showed it to him as well and so we went inside and uh Gordon
1:14:08was in there with his Entourage of bodyguards at first I couldn’t see Gordon I was just walking in
1:14:14this room and there’s all these dudes in there in suits of various ages but a lot of them were young
1:14:19men there was an older gentleman there I remember and we went in there and Gordon he was sitting
1:14:25at my uncle’s desk and he was turned backward so that we couldn’t see him and my uncle was standing
1:14:31there and he says come in boys there’s someone I want you to meet well it was Gordon it was Gordon B Hinckley he was there and that was the reason for his trip to Haley it wasn’t to give that
1:14:41mundane speech or talk at church it was because he was interested in the project and we were there to
1:14:48do a presentation for him and so that night before we had um we had gone you could say we’d gone
1:14:55through the presentation and all the aspects of everything we were going to cover in this present
1:15:01Temptation and so we were made to we were made to strip naked there in front of Gordon we were made
1:15:08to enact homosexual acts have homosexual sex they’re in front of Hinckley we were
1:15:16um made to electrocute each other with a cattle prod in various ways uh yeah my grandfather had
1:15:24brought the cattle brand he was yeah not a very good person and then we were made to
1:15:30um show him assassinations and not just how did how we do it but how we would even die ourselves
1:15:41and so because as a mindsave you mentioned disposability a little while ago well you just
1:15:49might be disposable and there are a lot of folks in the project that are disposable but the what
1:15:56what are called The Chosen are not we’re going to say disposable you could be used as disposable if
1:16:05it was for some big purpose like some kind of cultural or social or political event and you
1:16:12were going to die in it you could be uh you could be killed in that way but for the general rule I
1:16:19would say those that weren’t of the chosen were the ones selected to be killed most of the time
1:16:25but in this particular presentation I was made to get on my knees and I was Buck ass naked we
1:16:31both were and Chris held a knife to my throat and they explained how you know I would die
1:16:38and Chris would kill me and Chris he would have killed me Emma that he was starting to push that
1:16:44knife into my throat I could feel it pierce the skin I could feel the blood running down my neck
1:16:50and in my mind I was like oh [ __ ] is Gail pissed at me that’s what was going through my head are
1:17:00they pissed at me did I do something and this is it like it’s over and so I started to turn my head
1:17:06because my uncle and Hinckley were talking and it would this was all just normal stuff
1:17:13like like you know two two three guys all sitting around talking about it though there were several
1:17:18others in the room but those guys were there as as uh security that they you know they were just
1:17:25talking and about these things as I’m on there on my knees and I had to turn my head so that my
1:17:32uncle when he finally looked my way again could see that I was bleeding and that I was about to Chris was about to kill me and my uncle was like Hey Chris don’t kill Johnny what are you doing
1:17:43you know don’t kill him we’re not We’re not gonna kill him right now and so he took the knife away
1:17:49and they didn’t kill me which which is good it you know I’m glad to be alive but we also demonstrated
1:17:57pain as well but right after that we demonstrated what we what they do to not talk to program us to
1:18:05not talk because that was a big question Hinckley had how do you keep them from talking so after
1:18:11this presentation see Emma I was going to be moved into a position directly under Hinckley
1:18:17I was supposed to be in some kind of internship I don’t quite understand it I was being moved to the Salt Lake Area to Sandy Utah and I was going to be um under Hinckley in some kind of an
1:18:28internship thing that’s the reason that I went and met Thomas Monson and met with airing was because
1:18:34I was supposed to be moved up there and they were going to be using me for things and so this was the first time that I’d met Hinckley was at this presentation that that we’re doing it there in
1:18:44Haley well I’d seen him speak but this is when I really met him and he had this guy there with him
1:18:52um but back to the not talking thing okay he wanted to know how how we were kept from talking and so we were brought up to the desk and we were made to hold knives to our genitalia and and say
1:19:04that we would remove our own manhood if we were to ever talk and this is the kind of programming
1:19:10that they’re putting in these young people’s minds and this is such a horrific thing that
1:19:16that as a young man it would just it’s awful and so even the thought of it is horrible and
1:19:24so these are the kinds of things that they’re programming young people to do in the event that they would ever talk and so we would at that time yeah I’d never talked at that time
1:19:36and then the next thing that we did uh was we were tortured by an individual there in hinckley’s
1:19:43entourage because Hinckley even after all these things Emma was still skeptical how you know you
1:19:50have to picture this guy and he’s watching all these things well how do you really know that
1:19:56it’s all working that that this isn’t all just a show and so we were to be tortured and the rule
1:20:03was that we weren’t allowed to be bruised or scarred and so they couldn’t do anything to us
1:20:09that would bruise us or scar us because people would ask questions about that scars are a big
1:20:14deal in Monarch programming you’re not a if someone else scars you they’re in deep [ __ ]
1:20:20you don’t want to hurt one of the chosen because there are consequences to that and I’ll get into
1:20:26that we got rid of people that would that harm or injure me for example but Hinckley he picked a
1:20:36guy so one of hinckley’s guys was supposed to do the torturing for him because he wanted to know
1:20:42that it was properly done and that pain was truly administered if my uncle did it how was he to know
1:20:49that he was really doing it and so he picked this guy he was an older guy I’m not quite sure how
1:20:55old it seems like 50s or 60s or something maybe a little older and he was ex-military very short uh
1:21:02flat top style haircut and uh he tortured us both and he twisted our arms is what he did he twisted
1:21:10our arms up behind our backs and just reamed them and twisted them good um this left no Scar
1:21:16and it didn’t bruise anything and I can remember being put through that and it was really painful
1:21:22uh but we didn’t scream that was part of our programming we would enter what I call my 10
1:21:28month 10-man programming and so this goes back to The Wizard of Oz programming uh they used various
1:21:36formats we’ll call it for programming such as the Wizard of Oz Alice in Wonderland Batman Etc
1:21:42and so my Tin Man personality kicked in and when you’re in that state you work through the pain
1:21:52um but you don’t it’s difficult to describe it’s there but you’re able to block it out there are
1:22:00times when I blocked it out entirely and have not felt anything and there’s times where it
1:22:06is painful but you are able to work through it uh this time with this guy it was painful and I was
1:22:15able to work through it and so he tortured us both and then we did the presentation
1:22:20and this convinced distinctly because this it was his guy doing it you know and then
1:22:27um and then we did uh remote viewing for Gordon remote viewing and psychic abilities
1:22:34are something that people are prone to who have been abused and so the young children who’ve
1:22:41been abused for their whole life are more prone to psychic abilities than are uh healthy minded
1:22:48people who have not been put through such things and part of the reason I would say Emma is that
1:22:58you have a closer relationship to the other side when you are in real need does that make sense
1:23:11yeah it’s like your senses it’s like you have hyper sensibility in in a way where everything
1:23:16is constantly like your discernment you’re so much more aware of things than other people
1:23:22and can pick up on energies and can pick up on cues and emotions and just yeah like it gets
1:23:30very spiritual when you talk about that aspect of it you know and Society doesn’t want to believe
1:23:35and that but that’s that’s where Society goes wrong because these people know that these gifts
1:23:41exist you know and that they can exploit them you know and it’s very very real I’ve I 100 believe
1:23:48that and it absolutely makes sense yeah yeah so they’re able to use that a lot in the project of
1:23:56different people for various things I was used for remote viewing and so we did a presentation
1:24:02for Hinckley on my ability to remote view which means uh for people who aren’t aware means that
1:24:10I’m able to see things in what I would call the memory field I call it the memory field the energy
1:24:19field it’s a field of energy that exists around us all and it records everything that’s happening
1:24:28and if you’re able to get in tune with that you’re able to watch it and see various things happening
1:24:36I’ve had it occur since I’ve remembered my past back in 2017. I have a remote viewed for a while
1:24:43but I’ve been able to do it several times since then which is interesting I’m still working on
1:24:49that process and I don’t have it down you know when I was a mind slave and under their control
1:24:57they were able to to hit me with that pretty successfully and so for Hinckley I was able to
1:25:07um view his wife because it was hard to convince Hinckley once again that I was truly even remote
1:25:14viewing and so he said well how are you going to prove this and my uncle said well let’s view
1:25:20your wife and so I viewed his wife and she was in church down in Utah and I was able to tell
1:25:28him uh well it was you know interesting because when I told him she was at church he he said well duh she better be at church you know because that’s where she was supposed to be
1:25:43um but she had a certain kind of show I don’t know exactly what to call it uh on and there
1:25:50was a specific color and I was able able to tell him that and and he knew when I talked
1:25:56about that because that was a gift that he had actually given to her and so that convinced him
1:26:02of the ability and the the aptitude of remote viewing and so as an elitist you know back to
1:26:10the satanic Elite that they’re able to learn these things like you were saying you know the general
1:26:16population they’re not even able to believe that these kinds of things can even be happening but
1:26:23these people they know and they want that secret knowledge and it’s dark magic to them and they’re
1:26:30working at understanding it and having those keys given to them in order to do those things and so
1:26:37I was going to be moved to the Salt Lake where I was going to be used by the church and the church
1:26:43leadership I’m not exactly sure what form but it doesn’t seem good to me um and so yeah does that
1:26:53make sense Emma yes thank you for sharing that I’m so sorry that you had to go through that just
1:26:59thinking about that child like mine you did a good job kind of putting yourself in your shoes
1:27:04as a child you know and it’s so sad to think that you had to process all of that and such a quick
1:27:11time at such a young age you know just over and over and over again it’s just it’s unfathomable to think about you know oh yeah and part of it with their programming in my mind I perceive
1:27:25that they even see themselves as being merciful because that you don’t have to remember it you’re
1:27:33able to forget what just happened but it still lingers under the surface it’s still there it’s
1:27:40just at the back of your mind behind a wall or several walls thresholds are a big part of it all
1:27:47moving through that threshold and understanding what happened there so yeah and then I was um
1:27:59so that was when I was 15 years old that I was used in that presentation for Hinckley I was
1:28:06about to turn 16. and that trip I was taking or that that year so I met Hinckley that summer or
1:28:15that spring that was in March towards the end of March beginning April that that happened that I
1:28:20met Hinckley and then I was sent to Disneyland uh that summer for my last year of programming at the
1:28:28Disneyland Park and so uh that was a really bad summer and then um after programming at
1:28:37the Disneyland Park I was taken back East with my grandparents and that’s when I met Charlie Pride
1:28:44um had a couple experiences with bird uh saw bird over there um and that was the year that
1:28:52he bought me that he bought me as a slave that he paid for me and so that was a big year for me
1:29:07oh sorry Emma it’s all hard to talk about I know I appreciate you shining a light on this it’s it’s
1:29:17horrific you know and then just thinking about again trying to process that as a child it’s like
1:29:26it’s impossible to put yourself in those people’s shoes you know it’s like there’s no empathy it’s
1:29:32just stripped from people and it’s so terrible to even try to comprehend you know what goes through
1:29:38these people’s minds and to think about you know what like the child you were you know and I just
1:29:44want to say you know little J.R I know he’s proud of you for being up here today and talking about
1:29:50this and bringing Justice to his story and and empowering other people yeah yeah he tried
1:29:59before to speak out but they would he’d get shut down pretty quick but 95 was when I met Hinckley
1:30:08and I want to say Emma that it was 93 that I was sold to the CIA in 93 and that that is when I was
1:30:21um bought by Senator Byrd and 93 was the last year that I went to Disneyland yeah and Disneyland
1:30:33was a bad year that year it was close to my birthday um going back to 93 and when I was
1:30:44in 93 yeah when I met Gordon oh I’m trying to remember how old I was at all of these times I’m
1:30:54sorry it all gets a little bit jumbled even for me after working through it all it’s really difficult
1:31:00yeah but Disneyland that year um that was a bad year and that was the year that I learned that I
1:31:07was being sold to the CIA and they let me know it before before I was my uncle had talked to
1:31:15me about it and and so I was sold to bird that year in 93 and I became an active CIA mind slave
1:31:28now when you’re a mind slave for the CIA you have different levels of what you’re going to
1:31:35be used for and so I was used as a courier I was used in porn and then later when I got older I
1:31:45was used as an assassin I was used to get rid of people and this is what I would call my Pentagon
1:31:55level Black Operations experience because I was tested by Dick Cheney of of all people that son
1:32:04of a [ __ ] I hate that man he is a terrible man and he tested me uh for my Pentagon level
1:32:12uh Black Operations and that took place in my hometown and was arranged through my grandfather
1:32:19and for that I was made to murder a girl from my high school they made me kill her and yeah it was
1:32:28an absolutely horrible experience because they had asked me my grandfather had asked me Emma who out
1:32:38of everyone you know would you want to marry and that is the girl that I was made to kill
1:32:46it’s all about completely twisting everything that you can ever imagine in one moment of time
1:32:56and so Dick Cheney did that test and that cleared me for Pentagon level operations and
1:33:03the premise of that test was to prove that I would do anything that they told me to do
1:33:10that is what that was about for the reason that I just gave you that to have to do that to someone
1:33:18that you would want to be so close to you it was a horrible and that cleared me for my Pentagon
1:33:26level operation so and then I was used in Japan and I was used again in Haley they’d tried to use
1:33:33me on an operation in Boise uh but that didn’t go well something for your listeners to understand uh
1:33:42which may sound odd but um The One Drug there’s a lot of drugs Emma in the program and in the
1:33:49project they constantly are feeding you drugs they call them potions back to the black magic concept
1:33:57and they’re constantly feeding you these drugs and they have different drugs for different purposes
1:34:04one to wake you up one to put you to sleep one to make you angry one to make you feel Invincible
1:34:11Etc the one to Mellow you out as well yellow mellow that’s what we used to call that and
1:34:19they would feed you drugs constantly but the one drug you weren’t allowed to have was marijuana
1:34:26you were not allowed as a trauma-based mind slave to have marijuana now not everyone in the project
1:34:35let me rephrase that not everyone who is aware that you’re in the project knows that they don’t
1:34:44all know or understand why you’re not supposed to have that because I would acquire that from people
1:34:50even who knew that I was in the project but they didn’t completely understand what that was all
1:34:57about but what that that particular herb does is it disrupts your programming somehow somehow it
1:35:05it breaks it breaks down the programming so that you’re able to have logic and use your
1:35:12conscious mind and not lose your mind to them it’s difficult to explain when I was in Boise and I was
1:35:22on the rooftop my uncle had placed me there I was supposed to shoot a guy who was going to come out
1:35:28of a bar the neurologics yeah I’d been in the bar I’d seen the Target and I was positioned on
1:35:36the roof Zion’s Bank actually and Zions Bank was well aware that the Central Intelligence Agency
1:35:43was using their bank and they had arranged it with Zion Zion’s own that started as a Mormon company
1:35:52you know they don’t want us using the term Mormon we’re supposed to call them Latter-Day Saints and that’s all fine and dandy but I always knew him as Mormon said so that’s a Mormon Bank
1:36:01and I was positioned on Zions and I was supposed to eliminate the target when he came out of the
1:36:07bar at closing time well my programming broke down one reason it broke down was I’d been smoking
1:36:14marijuana with some friends of mine couple nights before I’m not sure exactly how long before and
1:36:22just that one time in that time frame was enough to break the programming enough to
1:36:30where it failed and so I was up there on the roof now when I’d been sent into the bar so I had been
1:36:36sent into the bar and I had was supposed to lay eyes on the Target now Boise is where I
1:36:42grew up I grew up in Nampa just outside of Boise and so I have friends in that area
1:36:49and I ran into the bar and when I was leaving after I I deed the Target and seen him I went
1:36:56to leave and my friends one of my good friends older sisters was walking in the bar and she
1:37:02was she was a little snocker she was a little drunk and she saw me and we started talking and
1:37:08I couldn’t sneak out I couldn’t get away from her and so we talked for a little while and she almost
1:37:16blew my cover Emma because I had a radio receiver in my ear a device for listening and communicating
1:37:24with my uncle who was out in a van outside of the building a calms band and so she almost blew my
1:37:31cover because she saw that calm’s device and she said what are you and she was so drunk you know
1:37:38the yeah and she was just a little gal and so it didn’t take a whole lot and but a sweetheart of a
1:37:45gal you know and so this really bothered my uncle that she almost blew our cover and that she had
1:37:52seen me at all because now she had seen me in the bar and so I was positioned up on the roof and I
1:37:58was finally told you are to not only eliminate the target you’re also to shoot your friend’s sister
1:38:06and you’re supposed to shoot everyone else in front of the bar that you can hit with the ammo
1:38:13that you have in this weapon and so I was supposed to basically commit a mass shooting was going to
1:38:20cover up this assassination we were going to cover it up with a mass shooting I don’t know if they
1:38:27even gave a damn if I was caught in all of that and my programming broke down through all this
1:38:34I was up there on the roof I was freezing it was cold it was raining on me the wind was blowing and
1:38:42my programming started to break down and my mind could process you’re about to shoot your friend’s
1:38:49sister like this something’s wrong and I just couldn’t I couldn’t do it it all broke down and
1:38:56I freaked out at my Uncle who was below me in the van they closed off the parking area underneath us
1:39:04on the building the buildings ions had its own parking lot and a parking attendant was there
1:39:10making sure that no one would come up to that level that level was closed off my uncle was parked there in the van and so we were working in conjunction with the bank and my uncle he
1:39:22got pissed when I got pissed because we started you know when I would be in those personalities
1:39:27Emma it was a different guy like I could be mean and you know [ __ ] you Gail we got into
1:39:35this big argument about what was going on and he said you get down right now you just get off the
1:39:41roof and so I got off the roof we aborted that operation the but that man didn’t didn’t get to
1:39:47live he was an individual from a foreign country he was some kind of foreign National and he
1:39:55we ended up getting him in um in Haley Idaho he didn’t he survived that attempt but we got
1:40:05him later and so unfortunately his whole family went the second time we were I was made to to
1:40:14eliminate not only him Emma but but everyone there in the house and so and that was that’s
1:40:22a terrible experience a terrible thing to talk about these are the kinds of things that they do
1:40:28and that’s why I’m so motivated Emma to talk about it with people because it’s wrong I’m sure that I
1:40:35have rambled and I apologize for that but these things are wrong the Central Intelligence Agency
1:40:44is sponsoring slavery and human trafficking drug trafficking and murder and these things are wrong
1:40:54and I’m a living witness to that and I have tried to communicate this with law enforcement
1:40:59and government officials and they’ve done nothing but harass me and try to keep me quiet
1:41:06and I’m not going to be quiet of all the things that I’ve talked about it’s all wrong
1:41:12and we as the people have to stand up and understand that these things are happening
1:41:21I know it’s really hard for people to even comprehend that these things can happen
1:41:27I I get that and that’s part of that’s part of the Mind science of it is that it’s difficult
1:41:36for the healthy human mind to even perceive that anyone could go to that level is so bad
1:41:45but they do and they are and they do it to their own children and to other people’s children
1:41:53and if we don’t do something then I just can’t be quiet about it so I am I’m against it and all
1:42:03those people that are in it they need to wake up you know not everyone who’s in it even understands
1:42:11what they’re involved with like we talked about earlier my parents they don’t completely
1:42:18understand everyone does it even those in the project even Charlie Pride Charlie you know I I
1:42:26hate Charlie Pride like I’m pissed at Charlie but Charlie was messed up and even Charlie wanted out
1:42:34he wanted out when I saw Charlie Pride because I did Emma I was raped by Charlie Pride in backstage
1:42:42he was backstage I was taken back there and I met him and he signed my an autographed my picture
1:42:48because I met him backstage my cousin and I both did and I had carried a message to Charlie from my
1:42:55uncle and he took that message with the key which was the switchblade that I brought him and he
1:43:03stuck it in my chest and that’s why my uncle had stuck the knife in my chest and I could put it in
1:43:08and that’s how I could take the message out that was the key to that and so Charlie he tortured
1:43:14me for a little while and he raped my cousin and I he was not a good man but when we first walked
1:43:22in the room Charlie was sitting at his desk and he was writing there in his waiting room
1:43:28and behind stage you know whatever we call it and he was sitting there writing a letter and so here
1:43:36I am carrying this secret message in my mind well Charlie was sitting there writing a letter to bird
1:43:45and this this letter was saying I want out of all this you know this stuff is I’m done I don’t want
1:43:54to do this stuff anymore I know that because bird told me that when I saw him a little while
1:44:00later because the next man in the project I can remember seeing uh in the following day or days
1:44:06was burned I met him at a memorial and so and I gave I gave bird that letter that Charlie was
1:44:14writing and Charlie wanted out but bird wouldn’t let him out you know he was a slave too and so
1:44:24it’s sad all these folks are all caught up in it but there is hope for us There’s Hope For
1:44:30Humanity more and more people are learning about this stuff and more and more survivors are able
1:44:37to work through it and able to come out and talk and I don’t think that they can stop it
1:44:45you know they’re Kathy O’Brien has a good way of defining them they’re linear thinkers they are
1:44:53they are linear thinkers and that’s helped keep me alive to be honest about that they
1:45:01are our such linear thinkers that yeah you just have to know what they’re doing and so
1:45:10but God’s also helped keep me alive and uh I give a lot of credit to God in all of this
1:45:17because without God I’d be dead if God didn’t want this message being communicated then I would be
1:45:24dead and that’s just how it would be they’ve tried that several times you know to ensure
1:45:32that it was most dangerous when I first started to remember they tried to kill me several times and
1:45:41and that was nerve-wracking we’ll just put it that way but those are things that I was made to
1:45:47do and so part of it is I was able to see it and to understand that it was coming and to be able to
1:45:54face that fact and part of it was God stepping in because there were sometimes Emma when I remember
1:46:03one time in particular I was dead to rights there was a gunman and we were sitting in a restaurant
1:46:10and I knew he was there to kill me and I was armed and I’d gone out and I’d gotten
1:46:15my handgun and I put it under my clothes because I had to do everything I could but
1:46:23I knew that if this guy was able to do what he intended that that would have been it and God
1:46:29stepped in and the circumstances weren’t perfect for them to kill me on that day
1:46:36part of it a lot of people are interested in that that’s one of the reasons I’m talking about
1:46:42it I’ve been asked well how can you stay alive you have the government after you you’re dead
1:46:48it’s a sensitive thing for the Central Intelligence Agency or the Mormon church
1:46:55or those affiliated with them to to get rid of you because if they don’t do it right
1:47:01they can get caught and that exposes everything and so the more I’ve talked
1:47:06about this the safer I am because if they whack me now well now they have proven their story
1:47:16so I thank God for all of his help in all of that and for everyone’s help there’s been a lot
1:47:23of support in the community and in the world and I appreciate that and so uh Humanity has hope so
1:47:36God blessio that was such an uplifting message to sort of follow so many dark
1:47:43things you know because this stuff does get dark and for people whether they’re they’ve
1:47:48been digging in deep for a while or whether they’re new to it you know this stuff has the
1:47:54the low frequency to kind of suck your hope out of you and to just think gosh there’s nothing you
1:48:00know there’s no hope like we’re screwed and the world is a dark place and it’s hell on Earth and
1:48:05you know realizing that that’s exactly what they want us to think you know they want us on a low
1:48:10frequency and not realizing how beautiful this world is and our powers of creating you know an
1:48:16even better World by coming together and taking the gifts that they’re trying to exploit and
1:48:22using them for something good you know creation creating our creating our way out of a bad world
1:48:27and creating the world that we wish we lived in you know and it’s such a great message to remind people of that because we do have all the power it’s them that don’t you know they’re weak
1:48:37cowards who Gaslight us into feeling powerless and their worst fear is to realize or is for us
1:48:45to realize that we’re being gaslit and to say uh-uh I’m not I’m not tolerating that anymore I’m done with your abuse I’m taking my power back and I’m gonna do something thing amazing
1:48:55in this world you know and create something that is going to uh Elevate Humanity instead of
1:49:03perpetuating the abuse over and over again you know so I really appreciate everything
1:49:08that you do and the messages you know the stuff is really hard and somehow you find a way to make it
1:49:15somewhat lighthearted to where it’s digestible for people and I really appreciate your way of breaking everything down to Jr so thank you nice thank you Emma yeah it is difficult to process so
1:49:29yeah well I’d love to have you back on I know we’re getting up to the two-hour Mark and I
1:49:35want to be respectful of your time I know that we could probably talk about a million other things I wanted to see if there was anything else that you did want to cover before we maybe
1:49:42wrap up and to to let you know that I would love to have you back for another discussion
1:49:48um to dive into some some more of your experiences and and some more education nice thank you Emma I
1:49:55think we’ve covered everything for today yeah and we can talk about that that would be good
1:50:01yeah it’s nice to let people know so absolutely and can you talk just a little bit before we get
1:50:08off can you talk just a little bit about if you’re on any other social media beside your blog and then maybe give people just a little synopsis of your blog and remind them of where they can
1:50:18find that because I want people to support the work that you’re doing also yeah thank you yeah
1:50:24and so my blog Mormon monarch.com I call it my website um that’s where I put my book essentially
1:50:31and so and you can find that under writings on past and those are all um journaled memories
1:50:39that I have uh worked through and most of them we’re talking months and years to work through
1:50:47these things and so I tried to work through as many as I can I’ve taken a break from it
1:50:54um lately because you need a break once in a while and so I will take breaks from it
1:51:00but what I do is I gain the best understanding that I can of those events and in my mind the
1:51:08most important thing to share I can say whatever I want but what I remember is so
1:51:16important because that is what they’re doing and so I can say for example their satanists
1:51:24well why and through my writings I explain why through what I remember of of living and working
1:51:33with these people and and being made to be a trauma-based mindslave and so my writings also
1:51:42they I will write something out and if I remember something that adds to the context of that writing
1:51:52I come back to it and so uh Disneyland or my meeting with Hinckley any of those things if if
1:52:01one day it comes back to me oh well this happened as well then I work on journaling that and then I
1:52:08edit and adjust those memories accordingly and what I’m working on is I’m going to put a book
1:52:15together so those are all chapters of a book and I will have that book published at some time in
1:52:21the near future yeah because if if something does happen to me let’s say I my heart stops
1:52:30beating for some reason then a book is a hard copy that can live on and other people can read it for
1:52:38generations and it can be passed on a website is something that’s more vulnerable a website
1:52:46uh it runs in its course until it’s submit its uh subscription is paid and so I will be publishing
1:52:54a book because I feel like this information is important for Humanity just for the people to know
1:53:02it and to be able to remember it for generations and understand it and I feel like it’s gonna take
1:53:09him a generations for people to understand this thing completely and for it to work its
1:53:17way through our our social structure but I pray that it does and so and I’m also on Facebook
1:53:26um I’ve been on Twitter before but I’m not on there right now I yeah I still
1:53:33am a multiple and so sometimes I’ll start a social media thing and then I get rid of it
1:53:41I’m trying to be more stable so yeah wonderful I’m gonna link all of that and if there’s any other
1:53:49links that you think of or any specific article pages that you want me specifically to link that
1:53:54maybe can add context you can send it to me and all I always try to do an extensive show notes where people can just go click on all your links so I encourage people to go follow and support Jr
1:54:05you know this content none of it gets elevated in the algorithms there’s nobody trying to help get
1:54:10the word out on this except us you know it takes you on the other side saying I’m gonna go visit
1:54:15this website or I’m going to share this interview I’m going to watch it all the way through and then I’m gonna go share it with somebody else somehow you know so we have to be the boots on the ground
1:54:25spreading the word about this and I would love for all of you guys to go share share our story to go support his blog jar I’d love to have you back on like I said especially to help promote
1:54:34your book so let’s definitely get you back on uh also whenever you do that that way we can drive some traffic there and and you can talk about it a little a little bit but that’s really exciting
1:54:43too so we’ll have something to look forward to you creating in the near future so you guys thank you
1:54:48so much for tuning in Jr thank you for being here God bless you all see you guys next week
Four short videos of Blood Ritual Monarch visiting Montauk, talking about it after and his book trailer.
These are 4 more short videos that Blood Ritual Monarch put on his channel, copied now to Odysee. The videos are in chronological order of date, presumably of uploading but the first is after he has visited Montauk, which obviously happened after the ones showing him at Montauk. The two titled Haunted by the Menacing Tower and Blood Ritual Monarch Emerges From the Dark Tower are very similar but different in length, I have not studied the difference it is easier just to upload both, and they also have dates 6 months different.
Videos
This obviously came after visiting Montauk.
2013 Mar 16 Odysee Blood Ritual Monarch Goes to Montauk 5 m 12 s [29c]
The following two videos are very similar.
2013 Mar 17 Odysee Haunted By the Menacing Tower 1min 43 [28c]
2013 Sept 14 Odysee Blood Ritual Monarch Emerges From the Dark Tower at Montauk, Camp Hero 2013 [27c]
This presumably was going to be or was the title for the early books, later it just became Blood Ritual Monarch.
2014 Jun 21 Odysee Official Trailer: Tales of Demon Conjuring, Mind Control, and Madness 1m 51s [30c]
Previous Blood Ritual Monarch Posts
2020 April 5 cathyfoxblog Montauk Boys – Blood Ritual Monarch [2]
2023 Jul 6 Foxes Extra Blog BRM 3 – Blood Ritual Monarch Interviewed by Stewart and Janet Swerdlow and Transcript [3]
2023 Jul 6 Foxes Extra Blog BRM 4 – BRM’s Book Release Question and Answers Party 2014 and Transcript [4]
[26] 2014 Apr 13 BookRelease Party of BRM’s New Book 1hr 15min
Transcript
l just no lights on okay so hello folks and welcome to the
0:12 release party for my autobiography tales of demon conjuring mind control and madness
0:18 i’m blood rachel monarch and we’re broadcasting live from new zealand it’s uh sunday afternoon here and i suspect
0:25 saturday evening or saturday night where you are and i even miss church for this event so
0:30 it’ll have to be good we do apologize for the technical issues um but we do have a very interesting
0:37 event plan and your participation will definitely enhance the experience so we’re going to explain how to log into
0:43 chat if you’re if you’re not logged in already and um how do we lock in the chat
0:50 should we go to the home screen so go to the home screen and on the left hand side you’ll see a tab for
0:57 uh for home hover your cursor over home and then you’ll see live event uh click on that
1:04 and uh then that will lead you to the chat room correct and uh hopefully you’re logging in now
1:12 um now by the way uh we do have a um a winner of our autographed copy of the
1:17 book it’s james bond james bonifant james are you there
1:24 congratulations man uh what we’re going to be doing is uh the books are going to be coming from the states here to new zealand and then
1:31 i’m going to autograph and then send right away to you it could take up to a month because it does take a couple of weeks um going across the ocean so rest
1:38 assured you will be getting that um appreciate your patience um so what we’re going to do today is um
1:45 while we’re fielding questions from chat uh we’ll be going over the book itself uh the genesis of the book how it came
1:50 to be uh and then also going over um the chapters themselves just a brief summary of the chapters but once again the more
1:57 questions you ask the more interesting it’ll be uh so definitely get involved and um and we’ll begin
2:05 so james is there okay and how the book came into being
2:11 um i’m not quite sure if you’ve been reading my blog but it did explain
2:16 uh what i had gone through for about 15 years with uh with blackouts
2:22 and all sorts of problems uh psychologically and when i did move to new zealand uh
2:28 the issues continued but when i i woke up on
2:34 after a particularly bad blackout and my organs were hurting and i knew i’d been drinking too much
2:40 and i couldn’t continue my lifestyle in that fashion so my fiance suggested i
2:45 start writing as a way to vent whatever issues i had and so i started the blog
2:51 and then after about six seven months i realized i had enough material for a book and uh that’s when the whole idea for
2:57 the book um came into being and that took several more months of pretty fervent obsessive uh you know getting up
3:04 at uh three four o’clock in the morning writing editing and uh getting off to work and um it was pretty pretty
3:11 exhausting uh process but uh now the book is uh is here after many different uh versions so we’ve got got a
3:18 flesh and blood book here and james as we said you’re going to be the first one the next two folks to log into
3:24 chat will receive uh free kindle copies of the book
3:29 and i’m here with louise my fiance who started all of this and who’s also the technical expert so she’ll be uh chiming
3:36 in and uh giving me advice because i’m a bit too old for this stuff so um and also she’s here to field
3:43 questions as well if you’d like to know what it’s like to live with me and get an honest opinion from someone other
3:48 than myself because obviously i’ll paint the picture in a much rosier fashion because who wouldn’t
3:54 um so what we’ll do is uh we’ll start by going over the chapters of the book
4:00 and i’ll explain that a little bit uh the first chapter itself is is called
4:06 the demon’s call and i was about 23 at the time
4:11 and i was into bodybuilding i was obsessed with that i was a night shift security guard
4:16 and um i knew that i had to take steroids to compete on the professional level and
4:23 anything that i did and still do is is very much to the extreme um as you get questions cut in
4:30 um so i knew that i had to take steroids and my addictive nature would take over and i would likely die
4:36 at a very young age so i prepared myself for the afterlife because i knew i’d be meeting it uh much sooner than most
4:42 folks um that that was my thinking at the time to the best of my recollection uh so
4:49 what i did is i started reading about um the afterlife the first book was hans holzer it’s called the um something of
4:56 the life after i can’t remember i remember the author though so i read holter’s book um
5:01 it was on spiritual uh mediumship and then i found myself getting
5:06 obsessed with the subject and then i went off to the bookstore i think it was barnes and noble or borders
5:12 and um in a matter of weeks i was actually buying up uh all sorts of books on magic
5:19 aleister crowley and and then it went into satanic stuff
5:24 and i was very curious to see if there were entities or other beings on other dimensional levels
5:30 so i decided to to summon demonic energies
5:36 not to hurt anyone with them but just to to see if they existed it was more of a scientific experiment for
5:42 me uh so i happened upon a book called the galatia which is a grimoire or a magical
5:50 spell book if you will to evoke demonic energies to to bring them into the third dimension of the physical
5:56 sphere um at least as much as they could manifest um so i built a conjuring mirror
6:02 um for the book and um you know once once that was built it took several weeks to build and uh
6:08 quite a bit of um craftsmanship uh expertise that i didn’t have so i asked
6:14 my dad to help out with it i had some friends help out as well uh the mirror was uh a white uh
6:21 triangular shape uh of wood and it had a black mirror in the middle that was spray
6:26 painted and the theory behind that is that the the black spray paint the black mirror itself because it was dark uh
6:32 would allow the entities to manifest um that’s to the best of my recollection
6:37 a lot of you folks might be much more versed in magic than i am uh after my negative experiences i i avoided it
6:44 completely so this is just based on recall and i’m definitely not an expert magician
6:50 i had some bad experiences and they lasted for quite a long time so i didn’t attempt to evoke spirits uh after that
6:57 um at the beginning when i did the evocation rituals um nothing happened quite honestly i
7:04 don’t think i had the psychic sensitivity to pick up on the um whatever was manifesting
7:10 so i thought i didn’t didn’t get any results nothing was happening so i decided to continue the experience
7:16 um and i i did the conjuring rituals for weeks and weeks on end uh thinking that
7:22 okay if nothing happens i’m just going to keep doing it until it does happen um and then things started to happen my bed
7:30 started to shake i felt invisible hands on me
7:35 the the room would get ice cold one particular thing that did occur was that
7:42 my thought patterns i became very negative uh very angry um my thoughts were just clouded with
7:49 doom and gloom and and a kind of a vicious rage and that was one thing that i realized
7:55 many years later was that the entities were affecting me on a mental level um i think even before i started the
8:01 conjuring experiments um so you know with the bed shaking and things happening my roommates come
8:07 into the room they they lie on the bed and you know as the bed shook uh they would get freaked out and leave the room
8:13 and became afraid of me and one even slept with a with a knife um next to his bed i was never violent
8:20 but anyway uh people it wasn’t going on just in my head let’s put it that way uh
8:26 so after the um after those experiments um and this kind of created the slip stream
8:32 of sorts i stopped the conjuring experiments after i was um invisibly sodomized for lack of
8:38 a better way to describe it i was being touched and i felt like i was you know being raped at night
8:45 obviously that stopped the conjuring experiments but it didn’t stop the the experiences themselves
8:51 things continued to touch me and of course the issues in the bedroom uh continued as well
8:58 so my roommates moved out and uh and sure enough i had some strange folks move in
9:04 in the meantime i did meet a woman um at a party and we had quite an interesting exchange
9:11 and then she lived in new york so she went back to new york ultimately she moved back to to live with me
9:18 and i married her i’ll get into that in a little bit but let’s just say that
9:26 the energies were quite intense and i couldn’t stop it
9:31 so once again my roommates moved out and then some oto folks moved in that’s the ordo temple orientis and that’s a
9:37 fraternal organization founded by alistair crowley and you know crowley i’m sure many of you do
9:43 um and these folks moved in and they were seriously freaky and then i moved
9:48 out very shortly thereafter i left all of my furniture behind everything it was just it was just too
9:54 freaky for me and the only thing i took with me was the um the table that i used to summon the spirits
10:00 so i took that table with me which is a makeshift altar and um
10:05 brought that along and little did i realize that the energy of the table um
10:10 you know was going to affect me for quite a long time afterwards um so i moved in with the woman that i
10:15 met at the party and uh quite a bit occurred after that um
10:21 and then we were together for several years and then what occurred after that was we
10:28 had seen the movie fight club together fight club as many of you might know has
10:33 heavy uh mind control symbolism mind control triggers if mind control even exists i
10:39 don’t know um but uh fight club uh cracked a mental dam of sorts in my
10:45 mind and as a result i started uh blacking out
10:50 and these blackouts occurred intermittently at first
10:56 i would just wake up that i would drink too much wake up the next day and of course be in big trouble with my
11:01 my um wife to be um she was pretty freaked out by but we were young and crazy and just uh kind of wrote it off
11:07 at the beginning um but that that movie just obsessed me i went to go see fight club numerous
11:14 times at least six seven times every friday after work i get paid and i go see fight club um so
11:21 uh the blackouts once again they were intermittent i wouldn’t say that they were you know happening each and every
11:26 weekend i wasn’t seeking them out they were just kind of happening to me versus uh you know wanting them to happen which would
11:33 occur much much later um and during that period i was um
11:39 i was um trying to find ways to get my kundalini to activate because the kundalini is an energy center in your
11:45 spine and i was trying to get that to activate again because it had occurred when i first started summoning the demons and
11:53 it was quite a blissful experience so what i did was
11:58 i tried to find any way i could to to get that to happen on a regular basis and basically when your kundalini rises
12:05 you go into the spirit realm and you have visions so i wanted that to happen i was rather obsessed with it
12:11 and i knew that somehow spiders were connected to that and you might be thinking how is that possible um but um
12:21 i did get some tarantulas african baboon tarantulas and because i was afraid of them and that
12:27 was my mindset at the time go into anything that scares you so with the tarantulas i meditated next
12:35 to them and i thought that somehow this fear might be connected to my
12:40 my issues or my obsession with the the spirit world and um after there was one particular evening
12:47 where i was going into a blackout and i cut myself and fed the blood
12:52 to the spiders hoping that um you know somehow i would connect with them or commune with them
12:58 that was my line of thinking at the time um that was a pretty pretty extreme event i almost had to get stitches and
13:03 then still have the scar today um but but that was the beginning of a downward spot a spiral of blackouts and all sorts
13:11 of behavior i’d be cutting myself wiping the blood on walls crying uh it was it was a pretty pretty
13:17 difficult time and it just it didn’t stop for you know almost 15 years
13:23 um then i moved into a house in rhode island with my ex well she’s my ex now
13:28 um and then what ensued was just continuous blackouts every weekend i would seek to
13:34 black out and to escape my body to escape um something some kind of turmoil that
13:40 was within um all i knew is that i needed to do it i needed to blackout
13:47 so that was something i would just obsess on i’d work all week i had a commute from rhode island to boston
13:52 which was four hours round trip pretty crazy i know one would think why not just get a job in rhode island but
13:58 i’m very routine oriented and i didn’t want to change things so i’ll go go to work i didn’t black out
14:04 during the week and on the weekends i would drink heavily and just disappear
14:10 uh this went on for about i would say 2 000
14:15 2010 was when i contacted a the programmer i was reading this book about
14:21 mind control which i didn’t realize also had a connection to demonology it was just
14:27 another subject that i happened upon online became obsessed with it and was seeking out books on mind control so i
14:34 was reading this book that had um all these symptoms on the back um you know the flashing lights affect
14:40 you uh do you have experiences with um you know energies do you have you know alien
14:46 abduction experiences all sorts of symptoms that were on the back of the book and um
14:52 i i thought maybe i my issue was mind control i don’t know how i made the connection because it didn’t mention
14:57 demons too too much um but um so i decided to compile
15:03 all of my life information um and send it to this guy to see what he thought and in the beginning i was i
15:10 was a bit apprehensive because i didn’t want to be embarrassed about it you know you’re just surfing too many you know
15:15 mind control websites there’s nothing wrong with you that’s what i thought he might say so i finally put um you know all of this
15:21 together uh and then i emailed it to him uh for a consultation and when he came
15:27 back to me it was shocking i mean he said that i was definitely under heavy mind control i can’t prove
15:34 that i certainly can’t prove it uh but he said i was mind controlled and all of my issues with demon conjuring
15:41 all of my issues with um you know blacking out cutting myself i mean i would
15:46 go into these states i’d wake up from blackouts with candles lit i would wake up you know with blood on the walls the
15:53 word lucifer written all sorts of freaky stuff that uh you might think is you know outrageous so
15:58 you don’t believe it but you know that that’s what happened for quite a long time um
16:04 so when i got this back from this consultation back i was just shocked and i thought okay i you know maybe this is what’s wrong
16:10 with me how can i fix it but at the same time i was also i needed the blackouts i just i needed to go into
16:17 these states because i was too uncomfortable in my own skin so so it was a tough spot for me you
16:22 know i wanted to be healthier uh psychologically but at the same time i needed the blackout so i i didn’t know
16:28 how to reconcile the two um so this person and i have this deep programmer
16:34 we began a friendship we emailed you know five six seven times a day i told him everything about me my entire life
16:41 um and uh he didn’t try to sell me anything he was very good about that i thought maybe he had an agenda but um he
16:47 was just a very good person very supportive but after about eight months i i got to a
16:53 point where i was blacking out much much worse after i received this information that i
16:59 had possibly had mind control programming and as a result um
17:05 it got so bad i would send him such crazy emails that he had to back away in the communication and he stopped
17:11 talking to me because he knew i was just off the rails and out of control um
17:17 several weeks after that um you know i um i lost it i mean my ex
17:22 came in one day she’s very upset and i just i left i packed my bags and left i couldn’t stay in that marriage anymore i
17:28 was very unhappy in it i moved into my office at work and starting sleeping on the floor which
17:34 i thought i could never do and wouldn’t be brave enough to do that so i lived on the floor for about a
17:39 month and then i found an apartment and i started fresh
17:44 unfortunately i also was drinking even more heavily then because i didn’t have someone i was living with giving me the
17:51 evil eye about drinking too much so i i wasn’t managing my drinking at all and it got much much worse
17:57 i moved into an old school house that was renovated into apartments and it was old school for the deaf i
18:04 found out and there were definitely entities there as well same type of stuff things touching me
18:11 all sorts of you know bizarre experiences there and then i started online dating as well
18:18 and i met some pretty freaky women um you know on the the data cougar website
18:23 and match.com uh but then again i was telling them what i was into i was blacking out and
18:28 typing stuff into the computer so anyone that was interested in me obviously was into the same stuff and might have the
18:34 same issues tell them about the french lady uh there was a woman in actually montreal
18:39 who um she would speak french to me and i would immediately black out when i
18:44 heard the french language i had no idea what she was saying but we actually fought and we would
18:51 speak on the telephone and we would fight and i would i would immediately black out after she started speaking french
18:57 she get upset and she she’d go into french and then um i don’t know what what the issue was
19:02 there but something about the french language uh triggered me um so she was we never met face to face
19:09 but then there were other women uh who i did meet that did um you know meet me face to face and i do write
19:15 about that in the book i’d rather not go into that right now some other bizarre sexual experiences yeah i prefer if you
19:21 didn’t so i’m not talking about it now uh so then
19:26 after um after those experiences i finally found enough stability to um
19:31 to go to montauk and i’ll circle back just a little bit to the blackouts uh when i was blacking out in rhode
19:38 island i would scribble things on paper um i’m lucifer you know i’m the demons
19:44 on me it was all it was from all sorts of different perspectives and personas i’d wake up from the blackouts and find
19:50 these notes written and it would be pretty freaky pretty scary to see that you’re writing these
19:55 things when you’re in a completely unconscious state and one of the words that came up on a
20:02 regular basis was montauk it didn’t make sense to me at the time
20:07 you know what does this word mean i know it was a place um and i would see montauk over and over
20:12 again montauk and the word rape um and lots of angry satanic stuff
20:18 so when this occurred i i you know would throw the notes away i would i would soak them in water i’d do all sorts of
20:25 weird things because i didn’t want anyone to to know what i was writing down just my ex knew and of
20:30 course she um would lock herself in the bedroom i was never violent towards her by the way um but uh so this word
20:36 montauk came up over and over again and while i was speaking to the programmer i mentioned this to him of
20:43 course and he said that um you might be connected to the montauk project which is um
20:48 kind of an infamous alleged mind control program that occurred in the 1970s and
20:54 early 80s and these young boys were programmed to be assassins
21:00 uh to be killers jeffrey dahmer might have been one of them um he has some seriously
21:05 similar symptoms nothing i’m saying i did what he did but in any event um this whole connection to the montauk
21:12 project had can the suspicion of it had continued um you know right after i started uh
21:18 contacting the programmer so it was in the back of my mind that i might want to visit this place it was an old air force
21:26 facility at the tip of long island new york a very isolated place and of course i read anything and everything i could
21:32 on the montauk project so this research was going on you know after i had left my ex
21:39 and of course while i was was living at the apartment and once again i finally found enough
21:45 stability to plan a trip there so i i had some time off of work got some vacation time coming and i went to
21:51 montauk in september of 2011 and i can’t say that that it triggered
21:57 any memories but i can say that um i had some pretty bizarre experiences there the blood
22:04 that inexplicably um appeared on the sheets in the hotel uh all sorts of um dream state
22:10 experiences that were definitely not your average dreams uh so i shot footage of my trip to
22:16 montauk and uh you can find that on my website um so so that experience i’m not quite
22:22 sure what occurred but afterwards i i once again uh i became worse i was cutting myself
22:28 again so a downward spiral just just got deeper and deeper
22:33 after that montauk trip and then i started interacting with a woman that i had met
22:40 on the the programmers website so she frequented the website quite a bit and then i started speaking with her she’s
22:47 an older woman very knowledgeable in mind control and we started emailing each other i told
22:53 her about my experiences she was a very nice lady but once again i was still drinking and i
22:59 would email her some pretty freaky stuff maybe laced with a bit of sexual innuendo perhaps um
23:04 and she knew what was happening she she saw that i was triggered and to be triggered is to go into a different
23:10 persona even if it’s even if mind control is true i don’t know if it’s even real um
23:15 but she was pretty freaked out by my behavior and she said overwhelmed by it
23:21 so as a result she said she was friends with a man in um
23:27 in new zealand uh a guy in new zealand that she was interacting with i didn’t know anyone across the other side of the world but she asked him if he would mind
23:34 communicating with me because we’re very similar we’re the exact same age with the same issues we were searching for
23:40 meaning in life and we both had this connection to mind control uh so she contacted him
23:46 and said would you mind talking to this guy is a bit crazy but you know you might uh both find some you know find
23:52 some peace by just sharing your experiences uh so he and i started emailing each other
23:58 and um of course became great friends we’re still friends to this day um i just saw him this weekend and he
24:05 kept mentioning this woman that was also um someone that was on the programmers
24:11 website this name i can’t mention because we’re squabbling at the moment uh but um
24:16 he mentioned his name is seth in the book he mentioned this woman that was also in new zealand and she’s very interesting i saw her name
24:23 and i decided i i’d like to talk to her as well uh and i kept saying you know introduce
24:29 me to her and uh he kept ignoring it for some reason he kept uh sidestepping these um
24:35 these mentions through email excuse me so finally he gave me her
24:42 email address he he course contacted her first to see if she’d be you know interested in speaking to this crazy person
24:48 uh and she agreed to it she was in a relationship at the time and so was i but it quickly became romantic and put
24:55 us both in a tough spot so you know once we started interacting um
25:00 you know being someone that’s very extreme and obsessive i i tried to woo her i used everything i could with words
25:06 i fancy myself pretty good with words when i need to be as far as you know being persuasive
25:12 so five months after our um initial email i was um on a plane to new zealand and
25:18 here i am now almost three years later still here uh and then that circles back to
25:24 um the book itself because um i had still been up to my nonsense with blacking out for about a year and a half
25:30 until my organs started to hurt and i knew i had to stop drinking and i think she was getting sick of the nonsense as well
25:36 um so having been in new zealand and then starting the blog this is what really has helped me heal
25:42 a lot of folks have called it an ego trip or why are you sharing this all i can say is i’ve been paranoid for
25:49 a good part of my life about writing down dreams or talking to anybody about these experiences for fear
25:55 of being committed or or what have you losing my job so just sharing it and
26:01 getting it out there has has vented a sort of psychic chaos within me and it’s kept me stable
26:09 i’m much better i’m still the same person to a degree but i’m much healthier now and that’s a
26:14 result of sharing the experience just writing the book definitely uh correlates with that
26:19 so that’s the reason i’m sharing this and that’s the reason i wrote the book and will continue to write
26:25 there’s a whole lot more in between i didn’t share of course because you know i’d like you to read the book and let me know what you think
26:31 a lot of folks have read the blog they’ve had great feedback on that and if somebody reads it and is entertained
26:36 that’s fantastic if it has a deeper meaning to you that then all the better um
26:42 so after um of course you know finishing the book i decided i’d like to
26:48 to start writing horror fiction perhaps that stuff always seems to filter through my mind maybe i
26:53 can take advantage of it um and also i recently did a radio show uh with a
26:59 fellow um over in australia who seems to think i’m possessed whatever that means
27:04 and uh he and i are discussing possibly me going over there for an exorcism um what i can say is that i don’t
27:10 necessarily believe i’m possessed if you want to call it that anything you know as far as
27:16 the the exorcist or anything of that nature like horror films i might have some spirit attachments
27:21 but um it would be an interesting experience i think to to go over to australia just to
27:27 see what would happen internally psychologically um with uh you know with
27:32 this so-called exorcism um and and then write about it you know as another adventure and it’s something i’m
27:38 trying to get closer to my memories something happened in my childhood i don’t know what it is i can’t seem to
27:44 remember i’ve had flashes of things but there’s a whole lot more there that i haven’t uh uncovered
27:50 so as a result maybe this exorcism if it does something to me psychologically
27:55 will um will reveal some memories i don’t know i mean i’m still adventurous i was a bit reckless when i conjured the
28:01 demons maybe doing this is reckless as well but if there’s a chance to get some
28:06 answers then i’m willing to take the risk um so that’ll be the next stop for me um
28:11 you know doing that and continuing to write as far as the book goes it it’s it’s at
28:18 299 at the moment on kindle and it’s that’s at 12
28:23 in print and these lower prices will be in effect you know for a short period so
28:28 take advantage of it uh get a copy of the book read the whole story i’ve only you know scratched the surface here
28:33 um and uh if you do read it i’d be greatly appreciated if you could put a
28:39 short review up on my amazon office page and i’ve got some ideas for other books aside from the the exorcism experience
28:45 so i hope you continue to check out the blog and and the website as well
28:52 and um aside from that uh for those of you that have been reading my blog i really appreciate it
28:57 i’ve had some great feedback lots of uh supportive words and i’ve made some great friends as well
29:03 um with the humorous aspect i tend to speak you know i joke a bit online and i i
29:10 tend to skirt with skirt the the boundary as far as you know am i
29:15 really supporting this demonic stuff or am i trying to get away from it the healing process is is never you know
29:22 a straight line it can be very asymmetrical i’m doing it my own way i’m definitely healthier now that i’ve
29:28 been writing uh but yes the subject the subject of the occult and demons i’m still
29:34 fascinated by that because i haven’t healed i think i haven’t found the memories i need that are connected to that so yes i still write about it and i
29:42 if i joke it’s not because this is all a hoax or sham or i’m being cavalier it’s
29:47 you need humor you need levity um humor dispels the negative energies it
29:52 really does so what has the um people your readers um take on your book being so far what feedback have you had
30:00 excellent feedback so far i’ve got three reviews up and lots of other folks that are in the process of reading it um they enjoy the
30:07 book they think it’s easy to to follow and a whole lot more information is there
30:12 but it’s the blog entries are part of the book but i’ve fleshed it out quite a bit and i’ve added a lot more content a
30:18 lot more detail around the experiences uh so they’ve really enjoyed it and i know you will too so
30:25 uh check it out if you’re into horror uh if you’re into the occult uh if you’re into the paranormal
30:31 or mind control um any of the subjects it basically uh straddles all those
30:36 different genres or niches if you will so i think anyone that’s in those
30:42 particular areas is going to find something in the book that they’ll enjoy um and you know where to find me on facebook i always like to talk about
30:48 this stuff and interact so you can definitely find me there um and i really appreciate your time
30:54 today um for those of you that have tuned in and this will be available as a as a link to watch after the fact as
31:01 well anything else that uh louise would like to add louise who
31:06 wrote the forward to the book and shared her experiences with me in graphic detail uh um when i was blacking out when i first
31:13 arrived here she put up with a lot and lover to bits for for dealing with that stuff
31:19 well i just i want to know how you feel about the whole process that you’ve gone through um
31:25 you know because when you started writing the blog you were so adamant that it wouldn’t do anything for you
31:31 i resisted it i resisted it so much it’s oh whatever i’m not gonna write and i have a job to keep or they’ll put me
31:37 away i’m in a small country and i was still you know in the process of becoming a resident i don’t wanna i just
31:42 i got so sick of you getting drunk and crying and growling every night that i was crying and rolling we have to find
31:49 an i’m women are into that if you were a little bit yeah but we have to find an avenue for you to release all your
31:56 frustration and pent up energy and pretty much that’s what you did and how do you feel now being do you feel more
32:03 balanced or absolutely i mean i don’t feel like i have to black out when i lived in rhode
32:08 island if i didn’t get the black out and go crazy every weekend i was depressed i mean if
32:14 we had some sort of family event or we had to go away for the weekend i couldn’t i would never black out in front of anyone aside from my ex it
32:20 would only be like one person i’d select to black out in front of because then i could just say all right she’s crazy it didn’t happen so it was a bit
32:26 manipulative there but i never blacked out in front of anyone except maybe one person uh so
32:33 what’s the question how do you feel now in comparison to them when you were blacking out another
32:39 i mean your blackout was very much like a crutch for you wasn’t it i remember you were addicted to it you had to have
32:45 it on a friday night oh i couldn’t function during the week to go to work and not to be able to to release that
32:50 i don’t black out anymore i’ve had a few issues here and there but i don’t black out anymore to that extent or at all um
32:56 so the writing the sharing the interacting has definitely helped
33:02 you save my life do you still miss it absolutely yeah there are nights where i have a
33:07 couple of glasses of wine here at 80s music and uh i want to go there but i mean i it’s not
33:12 life or death where before it was i had to do it i would just be devastated if i couldn’t black out and get out of my
33:18 body i had to have that and it was a roll of the dice because i you know who knows what was going to
33:23 happen i sealed myself into the house with tape one time when i was alone when my ex was away because i needed to
33:29 just go crazy and i had to get out of my body and i i taped every window that’s in the book every window and door shut
33:37 so that i could um escape myself and it was horrible i woke up naked and bloody i mean it was stuff
33:43 that you just very dramatic i know but it’s true and i needed to uh to get away from that um i
33:50 think i have and i don’t need to black out anymore but yeah it’s definitely a tempting thing for
33:56 sure so what’s up sir um what stops me well i i certainly don’t want to um i just had
34:03 a kid i mean i’m i’ve never yeah well i mean look let’s face it some
34:09 folks have had issue with my you know calling it spam if you’re going to share your story you
34:14 have to get it out there uh there has to be a way to do that and it is a fine line between you know in marketing is it
34:21 ego or you are you pushing this on people i’d like to share the story because it’s part of my healing process
34:26 whenever i interact with a new person that says oh these things have happened to me or these things have happened to someone i
34:32 know and i’ve had no ability to build any context around it it’s wonderful to
34:37 do that you know or if somebody’s just curious about it so yeah the interacting helps but it’s you have to if you write
34:43 a book you put a lot of work into it you have to market it to get it out there um and i’d like to put it in you know in an
34:49 audio book uh get into bookstores i think it’s a unique enough story um i’ve lived in a bubble so long that
34:56 little bits of information about my life would leak to people and they’d say freaking crazy i’d be mean well that was
35:01 just my normal um so i think it’s a unique enough story would where it would have some broad appeal um and why not
35:08 but but yeah marketing sure well anthony says you should write more for sure it’s addicting to read so far which
35:14 is a good thing ah well thank you antoinette um i will be writing more it’s the one
35:20 thing that makes me happy um of course my family makes me happy but we all need something that we do i think
35:26 creatively as human beings um so as far as the writing goes i’m going to continue doing that
35:32 uh the next adventure will definitely be going to australia and to see what this exorcism does i mean is it going to
35:38 make me crazy or no i don’t think so i’m going to bring seth with me seth is coming along i used to send some pretty
35:43 freaky demonic emails to seth and he was one of the few people that could handle them so he he’s
35:49 close friend that’s going to come as a protector and make sure these people don’t mess with my head too much because
35:55 brett i’m sure you’re watching uh brett is the the fellow that i did the radio interview with in the exorcist not that i don’t trust you but uh everyone has to
36:02 protect themselves i’m not quite sure if there is an agenda i suspect there isn’t um but i’ve always been a bit too
36:07 trusting maybe um so let’s see what happens maybe it’ll be a controlled i think it’s it’s just again i think it’s
36:13 about you and what’s inside of you yeah what could be triggering you need someone who’s really close to you to be there to make sure absolutely
36:20 and but once again brett if i didn’t like you i didn’t trust you i wouldn’t even think about it but but i have had other people actually chime in and say
36:26 well you’ve got to be careful you don’t know this guy but we’ll see what happens uh trust the universe and trust the um
36:32 you know trust the path it takes me on yeah so where we’re at at the moment is we’ve
36:37 got um five people in chat i’m connected now yeah okay
36:44 and um i think according to your agenda you’re gonna start reading about the book or yeah we’ve gone over the
36:51 chapters themselves any questions you have folks you want to chime in if you think my story is nonsense or you think
36:56 you know i’m just making this up any kind of uh input i’ve had people um disagree with me and
37:02 some people even attack me um so you still find now so if you have any kind of input that that might be construed as
37:09 um you know maybe not in line with with what i’m i’m saying i have no issue with that at all and i never respond
37:16 aggressively to anything like that it’s just in poor taste and last thing you want to do is get into a
37:21 confrontation online with anyone um but i have had that happen quite a bit um i’m just sharing the story because it’s
37:27 healthier for me and um i’ve come a long way i mean years ago i wouldn’t even think to write
37:33 my dreams down they were so freaky um in mind control books that i had read secretly i’d tear the cover off on the
37:39 train and read them and then i would soak them in buckets of water and tear them to bits because heaven forbid
37:44 someone saw what i was reading what about the woman that have been contacting you with
37:50 regards to like the woman you trigger because at one stage that you were triggering a heap of people
37:56 yeah that well the content is this that’s definitely sexual in nature actually skirted over one of the
38:01 chapters um uh as far as the sexual control um
38:07 but yeah it’s quite sexual in nature um i think sexuality for us um we’re all
38:13 conditioned um that it’s something to be embarrassed about something that can be yucky or just just better left un
38:20 unaddressed um sexuality creates life and uh it’s one of the most potent
38:25 forces in the universe so i shared that stuff because mind control and also your ability to manifest things
38:32 in your life i believe is definitely connected to sexuality um so um i even did some uh sexual
38:38 manipulation with louise to get her to to um agree to have me come over to new zealand and i told her afterwards and
38:44 she was pissed off yeah so i mean this stuff is party to it
38:50 no no she had no idea um but it hasn’t worn off so i would think it hasn’t otherwise
38:56 someone saw us underneath my pajamas last night doing the taste oh my god no
39:04 i thought you said it wasn’t um oh my god
39:09 antoinette what did you see it’s terrible she says she says
39:18 oh my god i think i actually did you see i flashed the camera because i’m
39:24 i just do it for fun because it freaks her out and hopefully he didn’t see me watch the camera
39:29 um yeah yeah so this is um like i said the laughter part i’m much happier now
39:36 and and if any of you think you know i think alright if you’re watching uh you know was he said it was a bit
39:42 disconcerting that my my level of um as far as joking you know with the subject matter if it’s too
39:48 serious and too heavy it will actually magnetize negative energies you can’t have this grave seriousness
39:53 about you it will attract things of a like nature so i try to keep it light and and how can you not laugh at some of
39:59 this stuff i mean it’s it’s really uh it’s out there i know that um but uh
40:04 that’s that’s been my life so um anything else no i think we can move on
40:10 to you reading excerpts from the chapters now there’s no questions in there okay um
40:16 well i probably would like to talk about my mother a bit because the mother issues i i dedicated a whole
40:22 chapter to that because i grew up uh it’s one of the one of the few people i don’t mind exposing um
40:28 being connected to me is my mom who is a psychotic alcoholic i mean if anybody
40:34 if i inherited anything as far as psychological issues alcoholism
40:40 possibly mind control would definitely be my mother uh she just has all of the classic symptoms of someone being mind control
40:48 and even yuri who i call the deep programmer in my book named yuri he uh he alluded
40:53 to after i described my mother and my experiences with her alluded to the fact that um you know she was probably um
41:00 you know my control but but the programming didn’t go incorrectly and it left her crazy in her outer life whereas i i
41:07 think in my outer life when i walk out the door into the world i i behave and i do everything i can to keep my
41:12 personality at bay even though there’s something your father taught you definitely yeah yeah i mean as far as is
41:19 being well behaved and um and presenting yourself to the world in a a credible manner but my mother was just completely
41:25 the opposite and i haven’t been able to contact her and she’s just i liken her to kind of like a
41:31 reptile that just laid eggs and slithered away i mean i don’t hate the woman but um she uh
41:37 she’s nowhere to be found and i know she’s kind of a key to all of this um so
41:43 i talk about my mother the chapter is called my mother the theme and i miss her because i i when i black out um
41:49 i do my there’s a pattern that’s followed and whenever i black out i
41:54 uh start crying and my mother comes up always comes up and then i then i start getting demonic and growling and this
42:01 pattern has been discovered by louise and she’s um you know obviously knows
42:06 that there’s some issues with i don’t know if there was abuse with my mother she did leave me with abusive babysitters
42:12 um and that part of my life is definitely a huge um part a huge bit of amnesia is there i
42:18 mean i remember bits and pieces of things but there are people that remember being three four five years old i remember nothing about that it’s a
42:25 complete uh blackout for me if you will um so i talked about my mother in this
42:31 uh i don’t know what excerpt i didn’t actually plan to read um anything about this but i’ll just
42:38 describe my experience with her um we we lived in dingy apartments together she
42:43 would drink a lot um she would burn incense it was kind of kind of had a very occultic uh quality
42:49 to it she was very angry woman she would drink and her eyes would blaze red
42:54 and she had lots of boyfriends there’s all kinds of sexual things that would happen
42:59 uh around me that i was privy to um you know she would black out and i’d see her naked as a little kid it was just
43:06 obviously not didn’t have a very good effect on my psyche um but my mother some somebody that i would like to find
43:13 so that i can kind of pick her brain and see maybe there’s some sort of a clue uh in there so
43:19 instead of reading excerpts from the book i think it’s just better just to describe those things from you know and
43:24 let you read the the specifics yourself uh but my mother is definitely um a key
43:30 to all of this i think and uh ultimately i like to find her and i don’t hate her i mean i don’t know how i feel about her because uh
43:36 she’s kind of a stranger to me really do we have anything else on the agenda that we wanted to i don’t want to bore
43:42 everyone here did you read an instrument yeah i’m going to read an exception yeah that’s what you do for curly’s
43:48 party okay well i’ll talk about movies because movies have a huge effect on me and they
43:53 still do uh so i’ll read another movie that had a that really messed with my mind was midnight express
44:00 and uh which was released in 1978 so i was six years old at the time
44:05 my mom dropped me off to see that movie by myself she would often use the movie theater as a babysitter um and it’s
44:11 about an american sent to prison for trying to smuggle hashish out of turkey um and believe me my opinion of the land
44:18 you know called turkey is you know i run into a turkish person i mentioned that moving they give me dirty looks i
44:23 think it kind of tarnished uh the world’s view of the country which i’m sure it’s a beautiful place
44:28 with beautiful people um but in the movie there’s extensive torture uh psychosis despair um and i was you know
44:36 six-year-old sitting alone watching that movie uh the soundtrack in particular pushes my crazy button whenever i hear
44:42 the music from that movie i just i start to get dizzy literally i don’t know what happens um
44:48 but i spiral um quite a bit and um quite often when watching that film um i would
44:54 black out afterwards or uh during a blackout or very deep into a blackout i would seek out the movie and
45:01 only louise would know that because i was so deep in the black eye i didn’t know i was playing the music or watching the film is that what happened
45:08 and i’m in that express yeah you would just call into a little ball and start crying like a baby yeah so whether or
45:15 not the time period somehow there’s some memory encoded in the time period i don’t know but but that movie definitely
45:21 um triggered something within me uh so that’s that was my experience with my mother she also what she had a knack for
45:28 was um let’s see she would lock me out of the apartment not that i’m trying to tell the tale of wall and get any sympathy um but she did all sorts of i
45:34 think neglectful and um abusive things whether it was conscious or not uh to really affect me at that age um and then
45:42 eventually i moved back out to boston with my dad and things were much more stable but then again my behavior at that age i
45:48 started cutting myself at seven years old um and and wiping the blood on my ventriloquist
45:55 puppet um so i um and whether or not that has a connection to mind control or the occult i suspect it does
46:03 but um i compared notes with other people and i don’t recall anyone else saying ah yeah that
46:09 age you cut yourself and wiping on puppets i mean so obviously this behavior pattern is indicative of
46:14 something some issue some abuse or you know that’s repressed and maybe my
46:20 psyche does not want to show me these things so anyway um
46:27 instead of reading excerpts i’d rather just kind of touch upon different areas and then elaborate on them um
46:33 so let’s see any any other particular areas but the juicy paragraph hello
46:39 you read a juicy paragraph okay okay
46:44 i didn’t have one chosen so let’s see what do you think would be interesting
46:52 okay the one with your mother
46:57 that’s pretty sexual though i think um let’s see here okay with me just a
47:02 moment folks louise put me on the spot with this excerpt reading which i didn’t uh
47:08 see it’s the part
47:16 upon each chapter and to to elaborate on them it wasn’t about okay so here i found it um after
47:22 eventually falling asleep uh some sort of moaning son woke me up uh this was one night where my mother was drunk the
47:29 tv was still on and i saw my mom on the couch completely naked uh her legs uh open with one leg dangling off the floor
47:36 i looked at her vagina confused and groggy remember i was six years old um and then a movie trailer came on and
47:43 nobody trailer was for the the shining uh so that when it came out so anyway it was just about to come out or it had
47:50 come out and i was watching the scene where the kid was running through that that maze in the snow
47:55 and of course looking at my mother’s private parts at that age and seeing a horror film trailer really had an effect
48:00 on me and it cemented itself in my psyche um so aside from the few visual snippets of
48:06 childhood i do have uh these are among the more scant uh plot memories from
48:11 that time period um so the scary shining trailer is playing in the background it’s 3 15 a.m i do remember the time uh
48:18 and i’m i’m staring at my mom’s vagina i remember envisioning her nailed to a cross and this is i mean
48:24 from the few things i remember why did i remember this i i remember envisioning her nailed to a cross like jesus he’s
48:30 just coming up look at that and i wondered if i should be eating her brain or heart and that thought has
48:36 never left me i mean that’s that’s pretty gruesome pretty macabre pretty indicative of some serious issues
48:42 um what can i say i’d rather share it now than you know i’ve repressed that too long and that’s who i am um but but why
48:49 that image came into my head at that time after seeing you know her naked and the horror film trailer
48:55 i can’t imagine i mean what connection does it have or was it just random i don’t know but uh that that certainly did occur um
49:03 and let’s see here anything else you want to read about mommy yeah i call her mommy i know it’s
49:09 strange oh well i’ve got some other issues that i write about in the book as well but hey
49:16 everybody has what they’re into so um let’s see here
49:22 running from demons of mind control another thing i wanted to share too is that uh with yuri
49:29 after i had gone off the rails and yuri is the deprogrammer um i had um i wanted to meet him so i sent
49:35 some money to uh to him and to enroll in one of his conferences in michigan and
49:41 basically i was excited to meet him maybe i can get to the bottom of this issue with the mind control and um i was
49:47 it was this is right before i left my ex i was devastated because i uh i was
49:52 sent an email back saying your registration has not been accepted i i guess i was so crazy and so out of
49:58 control at the time they didn’t want me at their conference so if you can imagine that sending somebody 500 bucks to to go to their conference and they
50:04 were like no you’re too nuts man you use the same emails that you send us forget it uh so i was crushed that i
50:11 couldn’t go because i wanted to get to the bottom of the issues i thought that might help uh that was part of what precipitated me
50:17 leaving my ex i was just so depressed and um and then after being banned from that conference that’s when i left and
50:23 um so we have a question from antone and she wants to know um if you can
50:29 speak more about the symbolism and movie maybe also going back to fight club oh oh for sure um
50:35 antoinette i’m not an expert on these things i’ve done my studying up on it um but as far as the symbolism goes i mean
50:42 if you look at i can speak more on triggering i think um in particular with the movie fight club um there’s all
50:49 sorts of symbolism as far as having altered personalities when i first saw fight club i didn’t know about
50:56 the whole aha moment um about the movie where the two main characters were actually the same person
51:01 um and then once i saw that off tyler durden and edward norton’s character were actually
51:07 the same person i mean that’s what really uh triggered my whole obsession with it because i wasn’t exposed to the
51:13 idea of multiple personalities before and then i thought i think it was more subconscious i thought
51:20 wow is this what’s going on with me when i black out i mean uh do i have two maybe more people within me uh and this
51:26 was before i had started studying mind control but it just it flipped a switch in me um so with movies um
51:35 depending on what they use movies like
51:45 i even
51:51 i don’t know i have no proof myself but i have a pretty good
55:46 having issues that are internet so we’re going to wrap it up now uh for those of you that have a few more questions
55:51 oh fantastic okay so
55:56 um i think anthony’s asking um questions there she says
56:02 yes i believe it is all triggers as well do you believe multiple people share multiple similar triggers
56:08 um from what i understand from uh from my experience with it um
56:14 triggering is very specific to the individual it’s uh how you were programmed and what triggers were laced
56:20 into which altars um but but i definitely think that the triggers they put into films
56:26 they’re not directed towards specific individuals so i would think that um
56:31 there are general triggers that go out to certain types of mind control people i can’t imagine them spending you know
56:36 time and money um you know it’s uh some other issue going on here
56:42 mommy um but i can’t imagine them spending uh all that money just to trigger one individual so i think there are
56:49 definitely triggers that um they go out to just people with certain programs in them uh depending on the type of program
56:56 let’s say sexual programming if you watch like the movie um sucker punch uh
57:01 with the girls in the uh the institution or the it was it’s been many years that movie left me with
57:07 headaches and depression for weeks afterwards i mean i really was affected by it so there were triggers in that
57:13 film that were i think specific to me but that being said i’m sure there are obviously many other people with mind
57:19 control but i think that the triggers historical the triggers in the films i think what
57:26 happens is yeah
57:31 maybe just leaking as far as the triggers in the films go what i think happens is that
57:37 there’s a main trigger that can affect uh many people and then their own individual triggers are then like a
57:44 domino effect that main trigger can affect maybe thousands of program people and then that trigger will actually
57:50 activate other triggers specific to them and then you watch their behavior start to spiral uh so i i think that um as far
57:57 as the is that the question as far as the triggers go yes i believe it’s all triggers as well
58:03 do you believe multiple people share multiples from their triggers that’s the question yeah absolutely definitely
58:08 multiple people do but then i do think that ricochet effect louise and i’ve analyzed my triggers and my behavior and
58:14 it’s like a slow burn something affects me you know one week and then slowly but surely my behavior starts to get um
58:21 aggressive or depressed or something extreme and then before you know it i i’m i’m freaking out or um you notice
58:28 that the triggers are are definitely it’s not so obvious they can be quite
58:33 subtle fragile yeah you know one yeah there’s like a hidden trigger and
58:39 then there’s multiple triggers after that yeah it’s i mean it’s actually quite fascinating and insidious if you think
58:45 about it if you just separate yourself from the fact that yes it’s negative and it’s evil and it shouldn’t be happening
58:50 but but very clever from whoever created this stuff i just know that i can’t say it’s true i
58:56 can’t prove it but i can say the effective tan on my life if it does indeed exist i don’t know
59:02 um and then she said because i’ve researched and found when people talk of being triggered it always comes back to
59:08 similar triggers in relation to each other rules depend how you were programmed really
59:13 how you were programmed and also i think what sometimes certain programs have more of an effect on you in your life
59:19 some stick and some don’t i think or some uh go dormant and um and depending
59:24 on what you expose yourself to i think on an unconscious level there are people that somehow know what
59:30 they should avoid and then they can resist it enough and then um those triggers aren’t uh you know activated
59:36 whereas other ones i mean they’re just certain movies i just need to watch um and it is a risk but i just know that by
59:43 writing i have not freaked out i haven’t gone off the rails like i did in the past but yeah i mean i still expose myself to
59:50 things that are triggering it’s uh it’s not an it’s not they can’t switch it on and off there’s some people that judge it and think i’m just you know flirting
59:57 with disaster here or or i’m actually part of their agenda and i’m actually doing this to trigger other people i
1:00:03 mean if that’s true i’m not conscious of it so i’m just doing the best i can to be healthy and not be crazy anymore
1:00:12 um somebody some other people are joining those teams like all the time in the morning
1:00:18 do you know i’ll work alright elric’s here yes um we’ve been going for about an hour
1:00:23 okay so i think they thought it was um it’s just about ten past two now here there was very interesting i had gotten
1:00:29 the timing wrong of those things and i was sleeping the things i was woken up for hey elric how are you it’s good good
1:00:35 to uh hear from you glad you could make it and uh yeah the stuff with the time zones uh it’s confusing as hell for me
1:00:42 i’m not a math person once you throw time zones and i get very confused so um
1:00:48 but that we’re actually we’re just going to wrap wrap it up um and it will be um it’s been recorded
1:00:54 i think it was the most perfectly um produced uh event but it was all quite honest and and and sincere uh but alert
1:01:02 if you have any questions uh feel free to chime in um anything that you’re curious about uh
1:01:12 okay uh so i was discussing the book itself for those of you that just joined us uh
1:01:17 discussing the book we had some good questions on triggers and um specific to mind control um and
1:01:25 yeah i’ve done my best as far as answering them with my i always say i have limited expertise with this stuff
1:01:30 i’m just i’m just groping around in the dark really there’s plenty online there’s plenty of research one can do
1:01:35 but but does that make it true does that make make you you know credible i’m not going to be a self-styled expert on this
1:01:42 stuff i’m still learning and it’s it’s often just trial and error i think the most important thing is to
1:01:48 observe yourself and to observe your behaviors really step outside yourself and and
1:01:54 watch how you think in your random thoughts and the things that you’re attracted to or drawn to is there a
1:02:01 pattern something changed where you’re seeking certain things out that you weren’t before this can all be
1:02:06 indicative of a trigger uh process occurring and it definitely reverberates you know
1:02:13 throughout it’s not something that happens you’re triggered and then you’re not anymore it’s definitely a build up at least for me it has been okay
1:02:22 but for those of you that uh that did make it uh alright sorry man um uh i’ve gone on and on for about over an
1:02:29 hour we’ve had some technical issues as well so i just want to say thank you all for uh your patience in dealing with
1:02:35 that there will be a recording of this after i watch it i don’t think it sucks i’ll put it up i don’t know if it’s uh
1:02:41 if it’s worthy of going up or not afterwards but uh once again the book is now uh 12
1:02:47 um in print and um 299 kindle uh if you do read it i would greatly appreciate it
1:02:54 if you could put a review up on the amazon author page just a short review make it honest you don’t have to say
1:03:00 wonderful things about it you can just just be honest about what you thought about the book uh those are the best reviews are the ones that are people can
1:03:06 tell when they’re just all happy wonderful stuff and they know
1:03:13 so it says just a comment love the henna soundtrack in the x exploration um
1:03:18 videos great movie symbolism as well in that movie so she’s uh talking about the montauk videos and how we use the henna
1:03:25 stuff i’ve been putting up uh the hannah movie really had an effect on me um it really did it also left me in kind
1:03:32 of a funk but i’ve watched it several times since then and louise cut all of that video and she put a lot of work
1:03:37 into it i nagged her because i’m 42 and i can’t do that stuff she’s 31 32. she’s
1:03:43 young and knows how to do all these things 21 there you go yeah that would make me kind of a creep though
1:03:50 um so she did all of that that was her a great work out yeah we did collaborate on what music to use but that was huge
1:03:56 mind control movie in my opinion uh the hannah film uh with all of the you know the assassin
1:04:02 uh programming and whatnot uh i really enjoyed that remember the first time you watched it with me you guzzled like
1:04:08 almost three liters of water yeah that was when i first arrived in new zealand and then yeah i mean what i used to do
1:04:14 is just i would take huge amounts of speed pills after i left my ex i stopped exercising for
1:04:19 um maybe 15 years turned into a pot belly old man and then once i left her i had
1:04:25 some time to exercise my lung commute was over and then i went back into my speed addiction and would just take tons
1:04:30 of speed and work out and then go home and guzzle i mean a bottle and a half two bottles
1:04:36 of wine every night of the week obviously not healthy but i was really screwing with my my body and i don’t
1:04:41 know if that was connected to mind control you know slowly slowly destroying myself or not i can’t say
1:04:47 but um just lots of up and down stuff that occurred um find a place of stability now but
1:04:52 you know still a bit and um alright would like to know i’d like to hear more about why yuri
1:05:00 and you fell out if you know if you want to share that so that’s it’s a great question alright
1:05:06 and um many of you that may have read the book or or just have been involved in the mind control subject
1:05:12 long enough i’m sure you know who yuri is all i can say is that he was very supportive um i thought he had an agenda
1:05:18 when we first started communicating we we actually had i mean swapped six seven emails a day i mean
1:05:25 why i mean this guy has all these people following him and and he chose to focus on me but yet didn’t try to sell me
1:05:30 anything so i think that the connection was was definitely genuine definitely sincere and you’re
1:05:36 asking about the falling out and i’m going on about that about this part um but but all i can say about yuri is that
1:05:41 um i was writing for him i had done a deprogramming journal on his website and
1:05:48 right before i left new zealand i was in boston living in my office because i lived in my office twice uh it’s a long
1:05:53 story so um you’re his wife and contacted me yuri and i have i mean
1:05:58 literally the emails between us are all saved i mean we’ve got a lot of a lot of material there all of my crazy emails in
1:06:05 the beginning i mean stuff that right when i first started communicating with him when i read it now i was so unstable
1:06:10 um and um so we decided to collaborate on that about two years later and do a deprogramming journal on his website and
1:06:18 i thought it was fantastic i enjoyed it it was my first step into writing and interacting with folks and kind of
1:06:23 sharing you know my experiences um and then um you know what occurred is that i was in new zealand i was still
1:06:29 writing i was we were posting entries from our emails and then i was elaborating on my current
1:06:35 situation in relation to them and um what happened was uh for whatever reason
1:06:40 they got really busy um you know with their website they’ve got quite a business they travel a lot and i didn’t
1:06:47 have the outlet anymore i didn’t have the outlet to to write because there was nothing going on with with that
1:06:52 particular collaboration so i started the blog and that’s why i started writing for myself because i needed to
1:06:57 write um you know more than once every two months i needed to do this every day just to get through my work day i just
1:07:03 can’t stand working so not working but just doing you know i work in an office it’s just dreadfully boring uh wasn’t
1:07:10 fulfilling me so i needed to write every day i didn’t have that outlet with with yuri in his website so i started the
1:07:16 blog uh and then i started um writing for another individual uh connected to uh to
1:07:23 yuri and his wife and um i think they got upset about that because um
1:07:29 you know they wanted me writing exclusively for them uh so once they they realized that that’s pretty much
1:07:35 well true well the thing is is that you were right you weren’t really writing for them you were sending them entries
1:07:41 and they were posting them or not posting them yeah it just wasn’t happening and then they stopped communicating with
1:07:48 you for about three months and you your blackouts were getting progressively worse getting the stress we were under
1:07:54 at the time yeah and that is when i said why don’t you just write your own blog and if they do come back to you can
1:08:00 continue to write for them yeah and they did come back to you but they wanted you to be exclusive they
1:08:07 didn’t want me to have my own stuff going on which is very strange for me i mean i thought it would be a mutually um
1:08:12 beneficial situation where i could write um post entries with them and and be very reliable with that i’m a reliable
1:08:19 person if i say i’m going to do something i will um so i saw no issue with it i could have both going and i
1:08:24 could have my outlet well you also had quite attraction and the following building up in your blog blog spot area
1:08:29 yeah and that made a lot of you know sense to keep that and you don’t want to lose that
1:08:34 so i mean if you could just stop just stop doing my own thing and just for them so you know i explained it to them
1:08:40 that i would like to continue both um and uh for whatever reason they weren’t happy with that they also knew that i
1:08:47 was writing for another person um connected to them but he had his own business i’d rather not mention him here uh his website is changing now and i
1:08:53 write for him and i think they didn’t like the fact that i was i don’t know what it was you know i
1:08:59 think you also need to touch on like yuri and his comfort conference
1:09:04 confrontational what looks this um unconventional way of doing things
1:09:10 and how you you know he talks a lot about um mind control and programming and even
1:09:15 though he’s played a huge catalyst in your life you really need to touch on how
1:09:21 it’s not really where you’re going do you know well i mean my goal is to be healthier that that’s
1:09:26 what my goal is and yuri played a pivotal part in my life because he was a catalyst for me
1:09:32 um moving out of a bad marriage and really trying to get myself stable it was definitely asymmetrical i mean i
1:09:38 got worse before i got better i would get better then that would get worse again uh and then finding my way to new
1:09:43 zealand was just i mean a life-saving experience i’m i’m going to have more a more conventional life now but um if
1:09:50 whatever reason yuri and i just our paths um he was was not happy with what i was
1:09:56 doing on this end and and the decisions i made and um you know i was still willing to be friends with
1:10:02 him but for whatever reason i think the issue with the writing writing for maybe a competitor i don’t
1:10:07 know something to that degree uh upset them and um as a result we don’t
1:10:12 communicate anymore and since what last october november that we’ve communicated
1:10:17 and you know what it is what is i have no animosity toward them at all i would i don’t have any issue with being
1:10:23 friends with them but they they seem to have taken it the wrong way that i’m i’m you know writing for another individual
1:10:29 along with my own stuff that situation is a much better deal for me and and um you know this person’s not
1:10:36 placing any demands on me to be exclusive to you know his side which you know i’ve got a lot of creative energy
1:10:42 and i’d rather get it out then repress it and go back to where i was before
1:10:47 that answer the question yeah yeah so that that’s the reason that um
1:10:53 yeah i had the falling out with fury but you know i like i like
1:11:00 yeah we agreed to disagree i mean there was no argument or fighting and over the years yuri and i definitely triggered
1:11:05 each other i mean with the emails we had we had a very i think bizarre relationship as far as our interactions
1:11:11 with each other um we we would say freaky things to each other just off hand it wouldn’t be in
1:11:17 along the line of business we just talked talk some crazy stuff and
1:11:22 i think we triggered each other and um you know so at times it wasn’t healthy
1:11:28 you know for for me and probably not for him and that’s i think part of the reason that um yuri’s wife didn’t want me at
1:11:35 their conference i think it really had to do with her because of the effect that i had on yuri and that’s understandable i mean that’s they have a
1:11:41 business they don’t need some crazy guys showing up to their conference and they didn’t know how i was going to react to being around yuri um and maybe she
1:11:48 didn’t know how europe reacts to me you know he um insinuating that we insinuated that we had a connection
1:11:55 possibly at montauk i don’t know but whatever connection we had was
1:12:01 something that was creating these triggers between us and um you know that’s where it stands now and
1:12:07 maybe we’ll be friends again in the future i don’t know um but i have no issue with them at the moment
1:12:13 any other questions there um all right folks well for those of you
1:12:19 that did make it i really appreciate you coming um pick up a copy what’s this creepy about the older
1:12:25 temple the oto oh the oto well this is a tough question to answer because um
1:12:32 a lot of oto folks they read my stuff and the first thing i’m going to say to anybody involved in
1:12:37 the oto and crowley i am not an expert on the oto or magic
1:12:42 i screwed up we’re not sacrificing children here
1:12:47 um i um i’m not an expert on magic or the oto i had a brief experience with both
1:12:54 and what i write about is is my ensuing um you know the effect it had on me um
1:13:00 so first of all the oto folks say oh this guy doesn’t know his stuff he doesn’t know he’s talking about i don’t i’m not an expert on that i know what i
1:13:06 know but i don’t delve into it very much anymore um but the oto folks that moved in when
1:13:11 i was demon conjuring they had lived up the street um they just had a really i’m not saying that that reflects on the oto
1:13:18 but they just had a really weird vibe about them and they kind of moved in and took over it was a boyfriend girlfriend and they
1:13:23 moved in to pick up the the slack with the rent because my roommates freaked and they left and they left me alone in
1:13:28 the three bedroom apartment so they moved in to help the rent but they just brought this astral funk with them um
1:13:34 that just pushed me over the edge i had to get out of there um so i’m not that’s no reflection on the oto or anybody that’s into
1:13:41 um oto related stuff um i interact with folks that are into that and um just as
1:13:47 a you know as a disclaimer i’m not claiming to know a whole lot about magic or or the oto
1:13:53 but but there are some some parallel i think interests that we have um i hope that answers the question it
1:13:59 wasn’t the other that was creepy but i was just not in a place for whatever reason it triggered me to leave and to
1:14:05 go to move in with the other woman that that i was married to okay
1:14:12 all right so i once again appreciate you coming by sorry it wasn’t as uh organized as we had hoped uh next
1:14:19 time we do this we’ll be all the wiser for it next time i know i i harass her to do all the
1:14:25 technical stuff so and i just write and blabber away but once again if you read the book i
1:14:30 really appreciate if you put up a review on the um the amazon page any feedback you have just be honest about it i can
1:14:36 handle it and um it’s not an ego trip sharing the stories has kept me healthier and it’s leading me down other
1:14:42 paths of my life and um you know like i said you know where to find me on facebook and i hope you have
1:14:48 a great rest of your weekend one thing about being in new zealand is we’re a bit ahead and friday is great because
1:14:54 it’s thursday for you guys but on sunday you’re still on saturday and i’m jealous uh so take care and i hope to hear from
Blood Ritual Monarch Transcripit of Interview with Stewart and Janet Swerdlow
Interview from 2012 with Blood Ritual Monarch and Stewart and Janet Swerdlow in which Blood Ritual Monarch is still working out how to deprogram and what happened to him.
2012 Apr 15 Odysee Blood Ritual Monarch Interviewed by Stewart and Janet Swerdlow on Wolf Spirit Radio [1c] 51 min 15s
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I would like to to make things move around the room 42:52
you are listening to infinite realities of wolf spirit radio
0:24 helping you harness the infinite power of your mind
0:35 presented today by Stewart and Janet swerdlow
0:47 you
0:54 you
1:06 it’s a good party trick well well actually I find that fascinating because
1:14 what you’re experiencing may very well be going into an altar that has
1:20 different traits and characteristics physically than your regular self and so
1:26 you’re kind of proving that the DNA can change its range of manifestation simply
1:33 by going into an altar soft I think that’s for interesting shut up now
1:39 anyway to mitigate that stored or at least two to observe it as it occurs is
1:45 there any obviously with the deprogramming for a call well that that was my next thing and that is your
1:52 continuing your deprogramming process yes oh I definitely am at the moment I’m
1:58 doing just the basics very consistently are on merger t-bar balancing chakra
2:04 spinning and ultimate protection and I have settled into a new life so if one time I’m secure in my outside world I’m
2:11 going to delve back into the more intensive protocols with them dragonfly and their frequency or not okay I’m just
2:19 wondering if maybe you need to cycle through some of the altars that you have
2:26 in you now because of this changing and your lifestyle that you’ve made and in your location so that as these things
2:35 come up it might be a good idea as you notice changes in yourself to just take
2:41 a look at that a flush and merge of course and keep careful notes about what
2:46 the manifestations were and what might have triggered them and that was another
2:52 question that i have is are you becoming aware of what actually triggers you i am
2:59 a to an extent i haven’t had a full-on blackout in about five months i’m very proud of that I’ve never been afraid of
3:07 just blacking out on a moment’s notice when I was drinking them all there’s something within me that’s very in
3:13 control of that and I only expose yourself in the right environment and around the right people
3:19 the source of the triggering isn’t always easy to trace but the symptoms are generally a spaced-out kind of a
3:26 disembodied theory along either emotion or no emotion whatsoever and I mean
3:32 they’re completely non communicative or I’m very hyper and quite often I feel
3:38 something kind of take its place behind my eyes and and my eyes gets kind of a
3:44 flaring look to them and I’m told my body language taste changes very distinctly as well almost and I move in
3:51 a robotic fashion you know what I think is interesting and you’re describing things very well very eloquently what
3:59 you’re going through and you’ve obviously spent time thinking and studying about it but I know a lot of people when they first start thinking
4:06 about am I programmed or not a lot of people say I can’t remember my turn would and to me that’s a major red flag
4:13 that if you can’t remember your childhood then there are some kind of issue and in fact we’re just talking in
4:19 the April as attitudes and AB stitute journal the blog that that I run for the violent members and above we’re talking
4:27 there about some people writing me say now happy they were and then you go on to say a variety of other things that
4:33 don’t make them sound so happy and I said well let’s take a look and I think what you’re talking about again with a
4:40 heightened awareness is what many people go through without any awareness at all and where you’re talking about okay i’m
4:47 walking out with no emotion these people are numbing themselves and because
4:52 they’re numb and not hurting but therefore they label that happy which i think what you’re doing is more correct
4:57 you’re saying okay there’s no emotion doesn’t mean i’m happy i just numb that out and now you took at the extra step
5:04 to consciously invoke the amnesia whereas these people are did you know
5:09 what happened basically chil I’m starving and then I’m putting them pointing it out of making them think back to that Oh another thing I wanted
5:18 to mention Janet as far as the triggering is um I would say that the years that were almost foggy for me were
5:25 ages four to eight when I was living with my alcoholic mother and she any mention of
5:32 her anything that she would say to me as a child severely triggers mean she
5:37 always mention of her sent me into a spiral so that’s one other trigger area
5:42 that them she also expose me to several babysitter’s that were sexually abusive so my time with her was although it’s
5:51 difficult to remember the different pieces that I do remember work and that
5:56 and I think to as you continue and get deeper into your deprogramming work what
6:02 we want to do is get you down around that age of four but you have to be strong enough to to see it and again
6:08 that is what you’re doing right now is getting that relationship developed and
6:13 a very strong way self Oversoul god mind as I say you become very strong so that
6:20 you can bend in the wind but you don’t break and so of course you don’t want to go down into these emotions at that age
6:26 until you know that you are going to be strong enough to handle whatever comes out because as you get there and we
6:33 start pulling out more and more things are embedded now you will have the tools to deal with and where’s the
6:39 four-year-old you don’t have the tools and this is what happens to most people and as I said you know you you’re
6:45 extremely intelligent and if you were not intelligent if you were not strong you are not a survivor for the things
6:51 that you have been strange things that maybe you do or interest you or you explore and a lot of times they don’t
6:57 want to acknowledge that within themselves and I think highly intelligent people explore a variety of
7:02 pink and you know what you’re doing why you’re doing it added in the midst of everything you still hold yourself
7:09 together you still said hey I made a contract to come here to this earth plane I’m sticking it out I mean there
7:14 are times you could have exited but instead hey here you are you’re still doing that you know you went through your ex-wife you’re into a better
7:20 relationship you’ve moved I mean you’re still here you’re still going I think that’s admirable for anybody who’s
7:27 program and I think there are a lot of lessons here for people to learn and a very fine example for others to follow
7:33 Oh actually I think you just said you’re a role model that that is delightful and
7:40 given what you know I me Stewart it’s what ironic oh well
7:47 well you know what Rupert you are a good person and I think that you are a good
7:53 role model for other people doing the green spiral staircase occasionally
7:58 faces will pop into my head faces for my past but right now the only result I get
8:04 it I get cold and I completely shut off emotionally i guess i can’t speak and it’s not a decision that has affected my
8:12 relationships at times i just i simply can’t get out of it and the only I’m not over that is just going to sleep on I
8:19 wake up I’m chipper it always goes away you know with a good sleep but right now
8:24 it’s just ice cold bodies and I just can’t reveal that might be that during
8:31 those years maybe your environment was physical cold you know as far as emotions and temperature and do you
8:39 probably went within yourself in order to deal with all of that so that makes sense that you have those reactions to
8:44 that time and as well like you talked about to help shut down the emotions you retreat inside and as the person who
8:52 would be in control of your physical more than what people understand the fact even was steward in the programming
8:57 that he went through you know we kind of he kind of laughs and I kind of ambassador if I laugh or not sometimes
9:03 but I said you know it’s your stubbornness that kept you alive it’s your temperament that kept you alive because you know most people don’t
9:10 survive these kind of things so when you go inside you get into that sense of being cold I really believe that you’re
9:16 pulling yourself in and it could be in preparation for or departing the physical body amongst other things so
9:23 there’s lots of ways that people shield themselves from the trauma and the
9:29 torment that takes place during the programming sessions and the more you can understand why you go through and it
9:37 explained your current temperament as well as what you can need you to get out of it because in order for you to make
9:44 any progress you have to be able to label it so that you can repeat it on a conscious level and I just have
9:50 accidentally fallen here accidentally fallen there either positive or negative what did i do how did I get here how am
9:57 I going to get out of it and so even with the green spiral staircase instead of um you know going down so many rungs
10:04 go down just a little ways you need a pure it’s down on the top and pearance the green spiral staircase and see what
10:10 comes up and when that becomes so you can not black out or not feel cold then
10:16 maybe get on that first run or put one foot on the first run or put partly on the first rung a little tiny bit at a
10:23 time so that you can start to maintain consciousness over what’s happening you
10:29 can get that label so then you can release it and go the next step because my feeling is for you the same as i know
10:36 for stewart and many other people you get on that green style spiral staircase and basically you’re on the road to
10:42 trauma and consciously you don’t want i just start studying down so that makes perfect sense to me as well so i’m going
10:51 to apply that janet and i’m going to you know be diligent about practicing even more than feasible yeah and then but
10:57 then when you do please write about that in the journal there because we would like to know you know how is it does
11:03 this work and what happens to your process that you’re going through and so willing to share is helping many other
11:10 people who are afraid I mean you’ve really had no choice it would just kind of thrown into the pot and like i said is either survive or die and a lot of
11:17 ways that’s Stewart as well so what we want to do is get you to that point where you can look at something without
11:23 falling into the old pattern and by your sharing on that journal it certainly helps other people understand their own
11:30 process oh I know I’m sorry go ahead the
11:36 beauty you go ahead please there was one of those subject I really can’t talk about this with anyone else so this is a
11:42 wonderful opportunity after moving halfway across the world I started to
11:47 get into contact with some old friends in particular the roommates that I had this was back in nineteen ninety-five in
11:55 an apartment I had started to study the afterlife for reasons I can’t go into
12:01 too lengthy but I have this great idea to summon demonic energies and I asked
12:08 this if he could remember anything about that particular requirement as all the remains are pretty much free doubted
12:13 what I was doing in my bedroom and he told me something that I had absolutely no memory of whatsoever i really freaked
12:20 me out or that i kind of retracted and they stopped speaking he said that he came home one night to find me trying to
12:27 contact the spirit of jeffrey dahmer through the evocation mirror and I just
12:32 went cold when he told me that because I like to think I remember things for my 20s but it totally freaked me out and
12:39 then recently while watching a documentary on gamma I was amazed at the
12:45 similarity in his recounting of these blackouts and loss of memory as well as
12:51 his personality switching they were alcohol induced just like mine so I just
12:57 I was just shocked that I’m not that I’m trying to align with this individual but just the blackouts and we’re so similar
13:04 but I thought perhaps you mentioned he was an alien entity and human body but
13:09 would there be any programming parallels with with that type of behavior oh absolutely and I’ve seen that many times
13:17 before and just as an aside because of what you’ve mentioned you know this
13:22 planet has been used as a prison by many other higher civilizations and one of
13:29 the punishments is for the criminal to be incarnated into a human body and suffer a human life until such time uses
13:38 either killed or poor poor passes on and so when the government to see such an
13:43 individual and they do know when these individuals are present they model a lot
13:50 of programming after the mind patterns of those beings in order for them to
13:56 create assassins you know that kind of thing vigilante stalker is what have you
14:03 so yes absolutely there is those kind of programs that are then imposed on
14:09 certain people with the right kind of genetics ah thank you that helps so much
14:14 i was just so curious about it that i couldn’t put two and two together but there was such a similarity there and
14:21 no interestingly that you mentioned it because last Halloween there was a group
14:27 in portland oregon who tried to invoke Jeffrey Dahmer in a ceremony not sure if
14:35 they were successful or not but I didn’t warn them not to do that to unleash his energy into unsuspecting public no heads
14:44 in my freezer everyone I assure you just
14:49 hands and feet no heads but anyway so I
14:56 wanted to ask you also how and you kind of touched on this but how are you well
15:03 now able to have relationships at work and privately as opposed to back then
15:10 before you knew about programming in c programming well my relationships that
15:15 they have drastically improves into my first consultation with you in 2009 I’m
15:20 doing really well I’m satisfied with a wonderful relationship and actually have
15:25 a couple of friends I had even have any friends before I just said I want a relationship with my ex and quite
15:33 honestly that was it I had no other contact with anyone and whenever I did socialize which I dreaded socializing
15:40 but I do it well I just put on a social persona and people wonder why i don’t
15:47 want to interact socially because they observe how I’m so good at it but it’s painful for me to interact socially but
15:54 right now I mean after the slow gramming and you know thankfully being in contact
15:59 with both of you I can actually have a couple of real friends that I can have a true connection with and not just talk
16:05 about this the boring you know general subjects and I’m just so much happy about this is huge different we know the
16:12 other thing too I think I’m program people oftentimes you know because of
16:17 the thought that goes through they really have not had boundaries with other people and so sometimes being in
16:25 close proximity to others or the thought of it brings up torture type memories on some level and so media
16:31 like you said yes you can do it but there’s a cringing and I think it would hear do programming tools and just
16:36 hyperspace over soaps techniques in general where it teaches you how to establish your boundaries that gives you
16:43 a sense of control and a way of keeping people at length unless you choose to
16:49 allow them in versus the opposite when that other people had their wants and
16:54 Will’s and wave imposed upon you so it gives you again a sense of control over
16:59 a life that you may feel you had no control over you know I also feel my
17:05 self-worth is increased I think I have a lot of I had a lot of low self-esteem but was more on a subconscious level I
17:12 had kind of a confident persona but I wasn’t very confident underneath and now that I feel better about myself on many
17:19 levels I think I’m magnetizing more nurturing relationships and that’s something I really needed that I wasn’t
17:24 even aware of you know I was going to say to it since you kind of opened this little entryway that of course we’re
17:31 going through the relationship journal in my founder and Benjamin of course also anonymous names but with a couple
17:40 things that you put in there which I just posted today I don’t everybody’s had a chance to read them but I thought they were very very good and I actually
17:47 again I admire that you were able to put this together and from and I’m pretty go
17:53 reading the frequencies from what I see behind it I really do believe you’re practicing what you’re preaching and so
17:58 I hope people will have a chance to read what you wrote Thunder Rupert in the relationship journal on the member side
18:04 about founder and Benjamin it was very very good and heartfelt and excellent information so to me that tells me right
18:11 there that you are making progress and you are making something work you can’t see it even if you’re just trying
18:18 because that’s the first step but you can’t see it unless so you’re you doing it you’re lavina it’s amazing I have
18:24 some wonderful support here Oh Jana I really appreciate that on the people inspiring for for short
18:32 someone’s actually writing in on a chat room and they want to know about stock
18:37 or programming and it says it’s different layers of use one that is more
18:43 of a detailed observer recorder out of more extreme examples is this is relevant for Rupert as well so let me
18:50 ask you that question roofer do you feel that you have stalker programming
18:55 where’s your more detailed and observing and recording information well Stuart
19:01 did nice talk to you for quite a while what I like that from one person to
19:09 another you know yeah well when he first started talking I think we actually you
19:15 know I didn’t notice at the beginning but after rereading those old emails that we were actually triggering each
19:20 other and then I had this goal to go to your april two thousand phone conference
19:26 and then I just went off the deep end and I was sending you the most backed out emails I mean just bizarre stuff
19:33 like you and I are little hobbits living in a hut and just I would wake up from black house and go home check the sent
19:39 box or what did i send them today and then the only thing you really could do is we kind of receded because i was just
19:46 in such a unstable place there was no way i could go to that conference and i
19:53 just wasn’t in a place for it and then in between before we started you know contacting each other again i was
20:00 sending you emails all the time in black Ellison you know you wisely just stayed away and let me kind of settle in and
20:06 get balance but I was stalking you at that time as well well I knew that you
20:12 had gone into another altar and I knew that whatever I would say or email my tribute to a different way and since I
20:19 couldn’t personally be there to guide you it was better that I say nothing and that you come out of it and I did send
20:25 you energy for brown merging and violet anyway I think I might have had your
20:31 permission long before that to do so yeah it’s over so level regardless why
20:38 would you do over so well that’s what’s important but but that’s a good example of how even during a deep
20:45 programming process it’s so easy to get back down again or to go you know be
20:51 triggered and activated into areas that you can even know you had so yeah I mean
20:57 I mean that’s actually a good thing that you we talk about that because it shows people you just can’t take things for
21:03 granted and deprogramming and those who want more details be sure you read the 13 cubed book because it is full of
21:11 information it’s a challenging book to get through i have to say but it is full
21:16 of information and one that you may you know that you can refer to as all are all of our books really they’re written
21:22 for you change your going to get different information out of the book depending upon what you’re ready for but
21:27 13 cuba’s excellent place as is their DVD series of mind control programming but it do it’s a little bit more intense
21:35 and then we also have a hyperspace and oldest or advanced hyperspace Oversoul
21:41 and d programming technique so on the website there is a lot of health care for people wondering you know what’s
21:48 going on with me because again like with Rupert you know you’re usually
21:53 specifically program people are highly intelligent so because you don’t see this in society you’re thinking okay I
22:00 don’t fit in what’s wrong with me and like you said Rupert low self-esteem low self-worth issues a lot of time a lot of
22:06 torment oftentimes impersonal and the whole life usually these people have
22:11 difficult life but you’re intelligent enough just to know something’s not right but what is that and how do I
22:17 label it and you can’t deal with something to tell you get that label
22:25 yeah another question I have here is some is the journal that you’ve gone
22:32 online is that the journal helping you or how do you feel about doing the
22:38 journal oh that’s an excellent question i was concerned about it because um as i
22:44 was preparing the entries and going back over the old emails i was actually dipping back into the emotional place i
22:52 was in when we were communicating there was almost a desire to there always has
22:58 been desire to to kind of dive into the trigger pool so to speak just with the
23:05 strap moving visual feelings that were rather enjoyable for a period of time until the blackout was filed but the
23:12 journal itself has really helped me organize where I was then where I am now
23:17 and then also I’m go into some details that I hadn’t thought of before so it’s
23:23 been a wonderful you know way for me a cathartic experience really and just a
23:29 way to heal even more so I mean I can’t thank you both enough you know what I
23:34 think too i want to just elaborate a little bit because a lot of times you know at the beginning when people start
23:40 doing hyperspace Oversoul deprogramming work whatever they get some real immediate results and they can take
23:45 changes but the deeper you go in and the heavier the harder stuff is sometimes
23:51 you don’t see is much change because it’s a little bit by a little bit by a little bit like people who put weight on
23:57 you know half an ounce for I have found out by a bounce how did I get you 15 20 pounds on myself but when we look at it
24:04 that way and then the how far you come you know if people have regardless of
24:10 what they’re doing if they keep that journal I think a good way to actually see your progress is like exactly what
24:17 you did go back where was I six months ago a year ago two years ago and so
24:22 forth you may be surprised how far are you coming in if i hearing you correctly that’s kind of what you’re saying
24:28 through this process itself and that you’re really you’re taking a good look at where was I then and where am I now
24:34 oh it’s all positive Janet and the more I go back and look at it but if I just
24:40 do it in increments you know I notice that it’s affecting my relationships I mean there are so many synchronicities
24:46 that are occurring with right before I look at a particular tract of the old emails something will occur my life now
24:53 and then I’ll look at the emails and then sure enough there are like three or four things that match up so it’s almost
24:58 as if when they can mention in the journal something is shadowing me but in
25:03 a good way Oh watching me through this process and letting me know that it’s kind of a few steps ahead and then
25:09 protecting me sure and I talked about the other evolutionary spiral which means you know
25:15 that instead of going on that some people get that way are they going to circle but when we are really working i think it is more of an upward spiral so
25:22 you do kind of you know you’re you’re using a little bit different verbiage Jenna maybe a little bit different for
25:28 you but as a general rule then we kind of go up and we can look down and see where we were we do cross those same
25:34 type of places again but in a little bit different way and what because we have
25:39 already crossed it in one leg helps us understand where we are now if we’re open to that so it’s no longer a loop or
25:47 a hamster wheel it is that upward evolutionary spiral it keeps you moving along now as far as some you know
25:57 further d programming techniques based on what you both know about me is there anything specific that that I should be
26:03 doing at this point anything that would get some results i’m having issues with with memory blockage and I know that
26:10 Oversoul is not going to allow memories to come through and less unprepared to deal with them and I think I am aware of
26:17 that on one level but on another level at perhaps in an unhealthy way I wanted to see whatever was in my past and
26:23 whatever happens happens and I know that that kind of a reference folks I think that I think that green spiral staircase
26:31 like I talked practices and you said you would try where you’re going to step back and not go so far in you know and
26:37 that’s what everybody wants to know it’s that you know you want to see that boy is a part of ourselves yes we want to
26:42 see but you don’t want to be overwhelmed either I also think that you should start consider using the bear frequency
26:51 because that will help you go into the mind and see what’s there hidden in the cave of your mind and then in
26:57 conjunction with all that use white winged lion wiping dragon frequencies to
27:03 support and empower you so that nothing would trigger you or activate you again
27:08 in what you may see or learn and I had
27:14 another question too I don’t know if it’s the right time to address this but
27:19 during our initial correspondent Stuart mentioned a connection to the black
27:24 madonna magdalen line and since janet is on that Magdalen line I was always curious about
27:31 this specific connection there and you had both mentioned that you know were connected in some way and I’m just
27:38 curious if you could elaborate on that or if there’s anything that would be appropriate to mention you know at this
27:43 time well that’s a that’s a good word appropriate I i can tell you i’ll
27:51 explain to the audience that and of course this is not in standard history
27:58 this is in the Maya dvds of true world history where the Magdalene Mary
28:04 Magdalene answer her to her children came they left the Middle East and they
28:10 went and wandered around Mediterranean till they wound up in the South of France and the daughter Sarah Oh became
28:17 known as the Black Madonna not because of her skin color but because of her a
28:24 propensity to work in the dark rather I called Theia Colts and let’s say that
28:31 the occult Sciences yeah and so she had
28:38 her own lineage and I feel genetically you are part of that and she told it to
28:47 the astral when the demonic entities and all of that and from the back that came
28:53 the lineage in Europe of the witches and warlocks and that kind of thing and it’s
28:59 a very long story I’m not sure Rupert if I answered your question but yes that’s
29:05 the connected that’s the lineage from your I really appreciate that Stewart
29:13 and it does help because I’ve just been noticing synchronicities with Aleister
29:18 Crowley of lon top the Golden Dawn and just literal magic in general the
29:25 synchronicities keep you know I keep running into them the more that I go over the old emails and the more they
29:31 think about adding new entries things just keep kind of creeping up on me and tapping me on the shoulder and pointing
29:38 me after so I thought I would I thought I would address that and the other thing that you have to realize is that people such
29:46 as yourself after those of you who read my article on this site which I’ll just reference as the unholy trinity that is
29:53 in the public side and it talks about say people like yourselves people who
29:58 are specifically programmed you can go much higher than the loss a global
30:05 handlers for those on the bottom half of eternity so they will program people such as yourself and myself to go into
30:13 these areas that are higher than they are because I can’t they can’t maintain
30:20 the energy frequency without spontaneously combusted combusting will
30:25 say and also we are trying to go through these lower hidden areas for the same
30:33 reason and we get that information and they use us for it so there’s a lot of
30:39 stuff that they utilize you for and then the idea is physically can you hold up
30:46 mentally can you hold up and emotionally can you hold up and only the very most powerful people can survive and that
30:54 again is why a lot of this surface to the forefront and makes you want to do that that’s actually the programming so
31:00 what you want to do is you want to get beyond the programming and go to the Oversoul level then you’re over so we’ll
31:06 explain to you a lot of this stuff and that is also one of the reasons why the propensity for drinking and what alcohol
31:13 and for drugs because it will open you to these realms where you have good program to go and that is the same for
31:20 many people and then of course why they’re trying to bring the drugs back again and make up legal blah blah
31:25 because they want to use people and people don’t people think all you know this is great and I’m going to go on a
31:31 nice easy side trip what’s going to happen it’s going to happen it’s kinda
31:36 like what you’re finding out and a lot of program and people that you read about on the news these are going to be people out of control they’re not in
31:42 every control their own mind they’re going to be used their lives will be destroyed in ways that are unimaginable
31:48 because it takes extremely strong people to do these kind of things now that the
31:54 ancient indigenous people did these kind of things but again was a purpose and
31:59 with training not just because they got ahold of some drug or some drink and they could go somewhere and I think you
32:05 understand that and so there’s the intrigue because you’ve been there you’ve done that and you’re trying to
32:10 recollect what you already know without it destroying you and this time you want
32:16 to do with you being in control rather than someone else being in control of you so there’s a lot of stuff going on a
32:22 Stewart says it’s a very deep and detailed story but you can do this via the Oversoul level versus the drinking
32:28 drugging and it’s going to give you a whole different appreciation and a whole different perspective when you get that
32:33 far well I’ll pay you the addictive behaviors are definitely there I am
32:41 aware of them and of course it’s a lot easier to do it through that route than the Oversoul level can so I’m definitely
32:47 going to I still enjoy my red wine but but otherwise have been very healthy and
32:52 that is true I’m glad you brought that point because again I did address the psychic energy versus Oversoul level
32:59 psychic energy you’re going to get their part you better get their farther and faster the Oversoul level you will
33:04 eventually get there but you will be stable and you will be able to handle it so that’s the difference Rupert um our
33:17 listener is asking a corruption of you he wants to know how you think you were
33:22 used as a monarch and how those involvements continue to impose stumbling blocks to healing if at all
33:28 and are you still used officially or have you been put out to pasture ah put
33:35 out to pasture that that sounds like a nice thing in regards to programming that’s for sure I’ll be quite honest I
33:43 can only go with what I’m obsessed with what what’s coming to my mind on a regular basis and things that I think
33:50 about the most as far as locations though it’s either Montauk or it’s
33:56 Antarctica those have been through obsessions even before I mean when I was
34:02 10 11 years old the word Montauk was just a tune in my brain when I I could make a connection then so it’s
34:09 Montauk or Antarctica and then also there’s um I think sexual park liberties
34:16 that are a bit bizarre and I can only relate that to programming experience
34:23 nothing illegal or unhealthy but justjust is archived things as we
34:28 elaborated on in the journal so my only only way to really say I’m still connected to the programming is that I
34:36 still have those mind patterns and I do have some actual dreams here and there that the involve group sex and of course
34:44 being drawn to things you know demonic thing that hey I feel like I’m healthier
34:49 mentally but my mind will still be drawn into those types of occult mind patterns
34:55 and thoughts so that that’s really the only white I have in the tunnel as far as to answering that question that over
35:02 it maybe you can add words to it well I know I think that you did a good job on that and yes I think being put out to
35:09 pasture own programming is a good thing except it doesn’t end it it just says we’re just putting you out here till
35:15 maybe we’re ready to use you yet at some point and you want to be you know on
35:20 your own which is what you’re doing and what you’re working towards and the many
35:26 monarchs when they reach show whether male or female when they reach a certain age they may be used only energetically
35:34 a subsequent to that even until the time that passed on or those that also have
35:41 Tinkerbell programming and addition to the monarch a program which keeps them young looking for a very long period of
35:48 time which rupert i do believe you have that Oh programming and so you can be
35:55 used physically for an extended period of time as well the next question I have
36:01 for you Rupert is you mentioned the Montauk Project and we’ve talked about
36:08 that privately for a bit of time you did
36:14 you actually go there and visit there I below for a visit
36:20 September and it was quite an incredible experience it was it was surreal for me
36:27 because the build up to going had been so many years I had it’s a difficult
36:32 place to get to and I had previously lived in the Northeast and you would think looking at the map it’s not a
36:37 problem but logistically quite a few steps to take to actually get to montauk
36:42 point so I did go the silence there was was definite I mean it was there is such
36:50 a heavy astral vibe to the location I you know videotaped it and it’s just
36:56 it’s steeped in this astral silence and I I still think I’m there because when I
37:04 have moved I would still have during sexual activity flashes of being in the
37:11 Montauk power that would just come out of nowhere so I did I initiate a
37:16 connection or reinitiate a connection to the place by going I don’t know but I still feel strongly connected to that
37:22 location even to this day where you are located now oh absolutely and I thought
37:29 for sure that I’m kind of closer to Antarctica and I thought my you know my focus would be on that location but
37:35 Montauk is is actually just as much of a daily obsession daily I mean literally
37:40 several times a day I’m actually wearing my my lucky Montauk t-shirt right now and I just hop in the ground in the
37:47 claws and that was the first one there so I don’t know Winston away or what but
37:53 it’s always been real that’s very interesting you know that kind of like my obsession with Antarctica you know
38:00 and that kind of thing so some things that we both need to look at I wanted to
38:07 also add um do you ever think you would share your story or have you two ever
38:13 share your story publicly with others that people just ask you about it and conversation or bring something after
38:19 you ever share about your issues with with select individuals and that
38:26 decision is almost made on a subconscious level I’m I fancy myself pretty good at reading how much certain
38:33 people can take my story and what a lot it was a bit of a lead in just based on their eye
38:38 contact and body language I can tell if they’d be open to listening to certain things and I have actually shared a
38:45 little bit of it with certain friends that I know can handle it and quite often I think that they might have
38:51 specific programming as well and they’re kind of magnetized to me because on some level that you want to begin exploring
38:58 that and so my view relationships on what their Oversoul is directing them to
39:03 do versus what the conscious mind want them to do so are most definitely and
39:08 very likely that the ones that you do share with like that personality it’s
39:14 because they themselves have their own issues about it and that’s why you’re resonating with each other to speak
39:19 about it as long as it’s done in a healthy way and I mean given all the
39:25 strange things I’ve been through I have managed to be able to function in the world to go to work keep my mouth shut I
39:32 sometimes have issues with them you know speaking about things I shouldn’t in the social setting just to kind of for shock
39:39 value because i’m bored but but in a proper work environment i haven’t had any issues because I just somehow I’m
39:46 fortunate enough to know to keep my mouth shut and they behave in a certain manner so that I can remain employed and
39:52 still earn a paycheck without going to the nuthouse so I’m thankful for Oversoul for keep me give me function
39:58 well oh but you know that sells a very good sign that you are able to do that
40:04 because you know in in our work we come across people who cannot keep their
40:09 mouths shut I shot him and they tell everybody everything and then they’re labeled as lunatics and then they can’t
40:16 keep a job or relationship and they have a big difficulty so is there a good that you’ve at least had some grounding and
40:23 balance in there and also as well and that you again that you can share because that’s one of the things that
40:29 get on the membership side of the site you know I talked to this about people all the time I call it isolation
40:35 programming that as long as they can keep us apart we can’t help each other but people like you who are willing to
40:41 take a risk and you’re showing very intimate personal details for people so that they
40:47 can understand that an even though they post on our site basically anonymously anyway there’s so many that are
40:54 concerned about talking about certain things and we don’t talk about it you
40:59 know we can’t help each other and even like you’re talking about your friend so ask these questions and you suspect
41:05 probably on some level we’ve got the same thing going on it is really a challenge because all their lives people
41:11 have been shut down you’re not supposed to talk about this you’re not supposed to talk about that and then when you do get into an appropriate venue but people
41:19 who are not going to judge you and criticize you then it is still challenging to open up so I think that
41:25 yeah we really every one of us has to work on that isolation programming that’s the only way we can pull our
41:30 information and move forward as a group mind and I think the key to that Janet
41:36 to be able to continue to share without being labeled it is discernment if your
41:41 discerning just you have to know who to speak to about what and when and
41:47 sometimes you might you might not get it right you’ll get a strange look from someone but if you just asked Oversoul
41:53 to help me you know impulse me at the right time to behave in a certain way so
41:59 that i can continue in the physical world that to have a productive outside life as well as a min and solutely have
42:08 you noticed if you’re psychic or intuitive abilities have increased since your deprogramming it’s a great question
42:16 Stewart I would like to think that they have increased but it’s almost like
42:22 being very close to a television set if you’re right in front of it you see the pixels you can’t see the picture and as
42:27 you step away a picture will come into view other people have told me that I’ve made comments that that seem to be you
42:33 know I have a psychic component to them but I can’t see it myself and it’s very
42:39 difficult for me to make that determination you know I would like to to make things move around the room and
42:45 I’m always into the hole you know slam on dynamite approach which is not always the healthiest thing but very difficult
42:52 for me see whether or not those abilities have increased okay very good actually how is your
43:01 physical health my physical health has improved I actually before I had moved I
43:09 had for years and years taking that it’s called ephedrine hydrochloride for
43:15 working out it’s basically a precursor to amphetamines it’s legal in the United
43:20 States and I have taken this I actually started taking right before I said conjuring demons actually and just so
43:28 the listeners are aware i summon these beings her little but if you use the
43:35 analogy of going on a shark cage dive being in the cage protect you like the
43:40 Magic Circle would and I just wanted to observe those energies from a fake place just to be in the presence of something
43:47 that would give me an adrenaline rush but anyway going back to the health issue i had taken these um no these and
43:55 feta mean based drugs for quite a while and i had some bad liver readings and
44:02 also had too much too much wine drinking as well so since moving my health is definitely improved when I feel a whole
44:09 lot better these are you doing a liver cleanse I’m actually take milk thistle
44:15 on a daily basis that’s my new best friend I had no idea that milk thistle
44:21 could to feel the liver and I mean I’m doing a big plans actually before I take
44:26 health exam coming up in the next few months now with milk thistle just remember after 2-3 weeks it can itself
44:33 become toxic so you want to go on and off of that like maybe two weeks on two weeks off they also don’t stand that
44:41 continuously maybe your dog yeah okay a
44:46 fire a heavier dose of vitamin C is good for the liver as is organic lemon juice
44:52 and lime juice to help clean the liver out and greens but you know the grain juicing I had no idea about these in my
45:00 approach with everything has always been take more so I I’ll take six and i’ll
45:06 just keep everything was just handfuls of pills in the bath though it’s good to notify
45:11 that’s a good thing you brought it up we would have won he went to do the journal
45:16 after a while a little adjusting you know might as well do 10 times more
45:22 that’s always been there the mentality unfortunately that says that’s how they think in Texas I think you know well
45:31 actually what Denali we have just a few minutes left to what messages do you
45:36 have for other male monarchs well I thought about this quite a bit basically
45:44 to remember that you’re not a victim from an oversold perspective you’ve chosen the experience of being
45:49 programmed and one of the things that Jan had said to me almost three years
45:54 ago was enjoy the process you know so basically make this work for you and not
46:00 against you and that’s completely your choice that type of an attitude is going
46:05 to help you take your power back you really need a healthy sense of humor and a good friend once told me that feeling
46:12 don’t like laughter so it said if this is them off and they leave in a hot so
46:17 keep your moods light and and if you do notice anyone in your environment that
46:23 has handle or tendon please do yourself a favor and don’t judge them because they’re not evil people there’s no need
46:30 to polarize it they’re not consciously out to get you or destroy your life it took me a long time to come to that
46:36 understanding and there is a good way to keep handlers in check if they are family members and you really can’t get
46:42 rid of them completely there is a way to decide step those behaviors and you can
46:48 actually learn quite a bit about yourself by observing the handlers in your environment and practicing emotional and verbal impulse control
46:55 when they’re up to their irritated trick well that’s that’s very good point there
47:01 um also I was going to say it’s from male monarchs I think many of these guys
47:09 have almost an embarrassment for being part of that that makes them feel less
47:16 powerful less masculine what have you especially knowing that they’ve been used a certain
47:21 kinds of ritual and so it’s a good thing that you and I’m where that you
47:27 mentioned that there are victims or that whatever reason and there’s psyche
47:33 they’ve allowed this to happen and the whole point of becoming aware of it and doing the programming is to get your
47:40 power back entity who and what you really are and to reintegrate your personality to the way it’s supposed to
47:46 be I think that you’re doing a pretty good job with that well without their
47:53 both of you are Stuart and Janet I would be have no idea where idea might not be
47:58 in my body anymore so I can’t thank you both enough really I mean it’s just the past three years have been such a
48:04 concentrated life journey for me the first 34 35 years of my life 30 years of
48:11 my life you know just kind of a boring March and then all of a sudden I I meant the both of you and nothing’s have
48:17 really concentrated and amplified by put in a very positive way from Thank You
48:24 Rupert and you know you’re doing a tremendous job with that journal because you like Janet mentioned earlier and
48:32 really are becoming a role model for so many people out there who say well you
48:38 know if he can do it then I can do it and there’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed and you just have to
48:44 especially these days you know we’re living in the activation of end time programming so everything that we can
48:51 imagine is being that set up all the switches are being flipped and you are a
48:57 good example of how you can be grounded and balanced and move forward make
49:02 tremendous changes in your life despite everything going on around you and go in
49:08 a positive direction even while the rest of the world isn’t so a lot of kudos to
49:13 you a Rupert for what you’re doing and I’m so happy that you are becoming an
49:18 example for all the readers out there well it’s a great pleasure in that big
49:24 hugs to you both in that you know as I said I could not be happy right now and healthy right now without the both of
49:30 you well we intended it should only get better for you and you know a lot of times and this is kind
49:36 of my against thing I guess I’ve kind of seen it from myself it’s like you’re thrown in the middle of the jungle without any tools and you’re supposed to
49:42 find your way through it and I think okay I’m out there cutting my path and then whoever can I can follow that path
49:49 is going to be there behind me and I think in a way it’s the same for you you know you’re in the middle of that jungle
49:54 and by cutting through though that path you’re allowing other people to see hey there is a way out of here and if we
50:01 didn’t put ourselves in the line of fire so to speak we couldn’t help others in the same way so it’s challenging as it
50:07 can be it is enjoying the process and we thank you so much for your sharing with
50:14 us and we look forward to communicating with you on the deprogramming journal in the membership side of expansion Scott
50:19 is much success to you Rupert and thank you for being part of our show today and
50:25 thank everybody for listening it was really an eye opener and we’re so appreciative of all of you so until next
50:31 time this is Stuart a swirl of voice for infinite realities and expansions calm
8 Sept 2020 OTTAWA JehSara’s Journey begins using #Music2heal her Trauma of both child & adult human trafficking survival in Canada & worldwide since 1978. Follow the journey to help survivors with JehSara’s exposure of Cult abuse awareness being the core of Human Trafficking. #cultawareness
Jay Parker Alfred Webre Interview Transcript giving estimate of 10% of US population for generational satanic bloodline families.
This post is the transcript of the interview between Alfred Webre and Jay Parker.
Alfred Webre Jay Parker: How 34 million Satanic/Illuminati Americans keep Earth in turmoil[4c]
There are many items of importance in the interview, but I just want to highlight the estimate of satanic illuminati generational “bloodline” families – approximately 10% of the population in the US.
Illuminati it’s all about the control business and it’s all about making the other 90% of humanity, slaves and the 10% of humanity rulers. My mother told me in 1963, that although she said it was 12 percent of America were generational satanists I’d like to use the figure of 10 percent, so basically we have 34 million generational Satanists pedophiles working for the elites, and if you want to know who the lead are you need to read the book Bloodlines of the Illuminati by the author Fritz Springmeier.
For more on Jay Parker see 2020 Jun 8 Jay Parker Illuminati Whistleblower [1]
[1] 2023 J S3E31 | Ann Diamond – ‘My Cold War’: Exposing MK Ultra, Encountering Leonard Cohen, & Healing Trauma
Transcript
good heavenly father today we put on the full armor to protect us against attack we put on
0:08the belt of Truth to protect against lies and deception we put on the breastplate of righteousness to protect our hearts from The Temptations we put the gospel of peace on our
0:18feet to walk in your light Peace and Freedom with the Holy Spirit we rebuke anxious thoughts we take
0:24up your Shield of faith for protection to block and destroy all the darts and threats thrown at
0:30us by the enemy we put on the helmet of salvation to cover our minds and thoughts reminding us that
0:35we are children of a mighty king we are forgiven set free saved by the blood of Jesus we take up
0:42the sword of the spirit your living word that has the power to demolish strongholds in a sharper
0:47than any double-edged sword we come to you Lord in prayer daily and Jesus mighty name we pray amen
0:54what’s up you guys welcome to the imagination I’m your host Emma and this week I’m honored to
1:00introduce to you someone that I was introduced to recently through independent investigative
1:05reporter and journalist Kathy Fox and someone who has undoubtedly had a tremendous impact on
1:12my own Journey learning about the hard truths of the world introducing MK Ultra Survivor and
1:17whistleblower blogger author writer educator and selfless Advocate and Diamond an original
1:24whistleblower of our time and was one of the first to publicly whistleblow MK Ultra and has since
1:29given a voice to countless victims encouraged to countless survivors of government-sanctioned
1:35abuse of all kinds and Story begins in the 1950s in Canada where she was sold into the MK Ultra
1:42projects as a child to prolific MKUltra programmer Dr Donald Ewan Cameron of McGill University in
1:50Anne’s words quote the story of MKUltra in Canada has never been properly told it was a pan-canadian
1:57phenomenon not limited to Montreal and Dr Cameron in the early 60s much of what had been a McGill
2:04University program was gradually transferred to Toronto specifically to York University in an
2:11emerging Counter Culture scene that became a breeding ground for me for many Fabian and Tavistock influence movements and programs Saskatchewan was another Center for Mk Ultra mind
2:21control about which very little has been written unfortunately Canada’s publishing industry is
2:27very much a product of that covert expansion of MKUltra throughout Canada books like Ann Collins
2:32the Sleep room presented a partial account but failed to get at the roots in British Eugenics
2:38and Nazi Psychiatry or hint at the vastness of this program which was secretly promoted
2:44at the highest levels of our establishment unquote in this episode this week you guys
2:49will hear Anne’s amazing testimony surrounding MKUltra and her involvement in Project monarch deep dives into some notable and suspicious connections she had in her life including
2:59Canadian singer songwriter poet and novelist Leonard Cohen as well as some recent updates
3:05and information from her personal life Anne’s voice has been a crucial part of why podcasts like
3:10mine are able to exist to begin with and I want to give a special thank you to Ann for her courage to
3:16continue forward after all these years so the children of tomorrow can have a better future than the children of the past and of today we are so grateful for the work you’ve done to pave the
3:25way to where we are today and so you guys without further Ado please help me in welcoming walking
3:30Miracle whistleblower Overcomer and all-around inspiration the one the only and diamond and
3:37thank you so much for being here with me today wow I’m flabbergasted I almost finished it was great
3:46I love writing the intros it’s so nice to finally meet you like I said you had
3:55such a big impact on me when I was waking up from my Slumber with you know learning about
4:00the world and it’s such an honor to finally have you on and I know a lot of people that
4:06listen they might be a little bit newer to your story and that’s that’s awesome because we’re gonna dive into it today but I wanted to say how how awesome is it now that
4:17people are finally interested in this for you I mean I can’t imagine what it was like in the early 2000s trying to talk about this you know it that has to feel so good for you
4:26yeah I think something’s changed for sure certainly nobody was asking me to do podcasts
4:32or and I couldn’t even get anyone to read my book you know and you know and the other another thing
4:39I remember about that time was that when I started when I would talk about it to people who were you know who said what are you writing about and what what is this story I would uh Shake
4:50it was so um so it was so intense to me that my voice would change and I I’d start to just
4:58kind of shake you know vibrate and um I thought you know I’m not really I don’t think I’m ready
5:04for it you know to go out of the house for this because it’s so intense and also when you have
5:11the feeling that nobody knows what you’re talking about and therefore nobody will believe you it
5:16just adds another layer to the you know some of it is just is just going through trauma it’s reliving
5:22trauma as you remember and try to talk about it and some of it is knowing that there’s nobody
5:28you know no one will understand except other survivors who who were out there at that time I was not the first one or anything I had people like Carol rutz you know and and uh Kathy O’Brien
5:40of course sent out so many Lynn Sharman you know in in Ontario and so yeah yeah but it has
5:49it has really broadened now and it seems to be something you can actually talk about voice yes
5:59sorry yeah I said and you have people like you who are writing blogs and books and people like Kathy
6:04O’Brien who have a film and I think one person at a time just over the years it’s getting out there
6:10to more and more people and they’re finding you more easy you know and I gosh back in the early
6:152000s trying to figure out you know where other survivors are I mean that had to have been a whole different world it’s hard now to research stuff and we have everything at our disposal that had
6:25to have been just a really neat process for you over the years to just see the difference now
6:30versus how it was then yeah I hope that’s true because I know that when I started and it was in
6:372003 really that I really started and I would read for like 10 12 hours a day sometimes because there
6:44was a lot on the internet but it was It was kind of you could find whole documents you could find
6:51um conference papers uh you know transcripts from all kinds of stuff was there I’m not sure
7:00some of that hasn’t been taken down now because I don’t right now I don’t go back I don’t go back and review at all I mean I I took it all in at the time but I hope that what I hope it’s true I mean
7:12I think it it has become more General I hope they’re not deleting and erasing the evidence
7:19that’s something that everyone worries about you know absolutely yes but that’s why voices like
7:26yours is so important because you are the evidence you know and you have that information within you
7:31within your mind and in your heart that you can express to people and they don’t need articles now you know and I love that yeah maybe that’s true and so let’s get into your story a little
7:43bit let’s maybe start either you could start at the beginning or wherever you want but I’d love to paint the picture for people your testimony is incredible and like I said you’ve been speaking
7:52out about it um for decades now so I’d love for you to share with people who might be newer um
7:58and we can start wherever you want and just kind of flow through and I’ll give you space to talk okay and you and feel free to interrupt me because I can go on and on okay I’m sure I’ll have some
8:09questions it’s much harder to write a whole book than it is easier to write a book than it is to
8:15write a little blurb in many ways you know so you just didn’t feel free to interrupt because but I guess I would start just by saying that that I was born in Montreal Canada province of
8:28Quebec uh French Canadian Catholic um province of Canada with it with a lot of control by the
8:37Vatican the Catholic Church on the population here and I had an English Canadian Scottish
8:43Canadian father and a French Canadian mother my father was Protestant and spoke only English my
8:49mother was French French Canadian was Catholic and spoke French and English because anyway that’s how
8:57it was then so I grew up with a twin brother in Montreal during the Cold War born in 1951 and
9:04it happened to be the same year that the first uh Conference was held in Montreal at the Ritz
9:13Carlton Hotel that brought together the basically the troops the the big players who would go on to
9:22be the to start the mkl tour program and that was in August I think 1951. so you and Cameron was
9:31there but Alan Dulles and all you know CIA head of the CIA and all kinds of military people people in
9:38um Information Technology at the time uh medicine Psychiatry and they just brought
9:45together all these experts cybernetics was I think starting then too you know so they had and
9:52um and they and they put them in this hotel and had a conference and they basically planned the
9:59cold well the post-war period of the Cold War had already started and how they were going to use new
10:06forms new kinds of weapons involving human beings like human um what is it just the human mind would
10:16become the new Battlefield that’s what they the kind of thing they were talking about at that time and uh so they chose I believe they chose Quebec because it was isolated very fascistic very
10:29controlled from the top down very obedient people very religious and with and also because there was
10:36a huge population of babies born after the war uh two unwed mothers because the soldiers coming and
10:44going during the war so they had everything they needed to start a project here and I uh
10:53since I was born that same year it took a it took another few years but by 1955
10:59basically my father had agreed to put my twin brother and me in the uh project at McGill which
11:07was running with the famous notorious Dr Cameron at the head of it and he was directly in you know
11:14working with Alan Dulles you know in Washington and and the uh and you’ve heard of Sid Gotti you
11:21know they had started the in 53 they started the mkl2 program and the other thing that was
11:27hap that had happened in Quebec in 1953 was the there were hundreds of thousands a hundred
11:32thousand duplessly orphans they called them the orphans that were born to unwed mothers
11:37who were who had been put in orphanages after the war because you couldn’t be a single mother easily or at all in those days and so they had a population of disposable children
11:49so it was a great place to bring together a secret enormous secret project and and that’s
11:59um you know most people living here have never heard of any of this many people
12:05even now don’t know that this happened they don’t know what they were that you know many
12:11people had relatives who were part of it and they they are really still living in a state of ignorance about it so I’m a product I was a child who was chosen for the program a more privileged
12:24than the orphans because I had my mother and a father and I I was home living at home and
12:30and also my father was a professional he was a music teacher in high school so it gave him gave
12:36us a little more status than some people so I was put into a program at McGill with gifted children
12:44supposedly yeah I had a high IQ my brother also and my brother was very Musical and um and so
12:51we were placed in this special program and my parents believing that they were but this was
12:58something wonderful that had been offered to us because we were very lucky and and special and so
13:03they didn’t catch on for a long time and so your parents you didn’t you weren’t in a generational
13:10family in the sense that your parents had gone through this they they were basically coerced into
13:16thinking you were a gifted child and that they were going to to pay basically for a great future
13:22for you you’d get special education and you know be around kids like you and it wasn’t like that
13:30exactly that’s the difference I think if you have you’ve had other survivors on who were definitely
13:35they came out of generational they even say generational satanic Bloodlines to I don’t
13:40think so I mean it’s very it’s hard to find these things out but I have no uh none of those kinds of
13:47memories about my parents and I have been told my parents were just basically decent people who go
13:53who were who were tricked or a coerced there was some black male involved because of my father’s
14:00military background and there was something going on he was an Air Force intelligence and
14:05I think pressure was a lot of pressure was put on him so it it was more yeah I think I think my
14:12family are different from some of the other it’s making me different from some of the others if I was maybe two um I’m not sure how you know maybe more maybe I’m more naive you know and less aware
14:24of certain things or I don’t know or maybe I was spared some of the stuff that they went through
14:31I feel I witnessed some pretty horrific things but I’m I don’t that’s all I know I I have amnesia
14:38walls too and I admit that I I still have them but I’m I’m working with it you know so instead of
14:47good is that a good place to start yeah that’s I appreciate that I think you know everybody’s story
14:53is so different and I think the commonalities are what help make people understand that oh my gosh
14:59how how is Anne’s you know experience so similar to Kathy O’Brien’s which is so similar to this
15:05person over in the UK and then this person over in Ireland you know the commonalities validate it but
15:12it happens so many different ways that it’s very hard to almost you know comprehend and so I love
15:18the differences and being able to talk about that too because it helps people in real life you know
15:24have empathy for people and to always think what could this person in front of me have possibly gone through you know because this could be anybody it doesn’t have to be a generational
15:32family it could be a great family who’s trying to do something good for their children you know
15:37just normal family didn’t have any of this in the background and they make you know a big mistake
15:42and don’t realize it you know maybe ever and so I I love you know your story brings awareness
15:48to the other side of it which I think parents that that say why I’m not generational that could never
15:53happen to me or my kids and it’s like no this can happen to anybody anybody yeah I I totally agree
16:01with you and understanding all the different yeah the different circumstances that we’re operating and how that I don’t know I guess how that also helps people how it helps keep it secret because
16:12people don’t talk you’re not part of the you know the same middle years sometimes they’re living
16:18different realities man I just thought of myself I thought of myself as having an idyllic childhood
16:24that’s I had a problem I wanted to when I got older I wanted to be writing fiction you know
16:30and they always and they say well you have to be able to remember your childhood to write your first novel and I didn’t all I remembered were these lovely scenes you know in the country
16:39swimming on the beach with my cousins boating you know hot dogs you know a hot dog hamburger
16:46roasts and playing hide and seek and those are my memories they were so Bland but behind that those
16:53were behind us memories which were real there was a whole thing going on you know I was being taken
17:00out of school in in first and second grade I was being taken downtown I was in the mental hospital
17:07um you know this is what I figured my school records show that I was absent half the year
17:12and suppose they had all these illnesses but I had a few I had mom’s measles and so on but that
17:18doesn’t account for 100 days missing exactly 100 days on my report card and later in life
17:25I met people who remembered me from McGill as you know as they said I knew Miguel I said I
17:31never went to Miguel I didn’t go to Miguel but I was a kid at a hospital that was owned and
17:39operated by McGill University and which was recruiting you know kids for this for this
17:44military program so they remembered me sometimes and I would just you know I was too little
17:51to to Really form memories I think for the older older kids they they had like a social existence
18:00too and they also had you know stronger brains basically more developed brains so as a child
18:05that they would they would give the little kids LSD and it would just swipe them out they wouldn’t have any memory of having been through an experiment you know or a party with a lot of weird
18:18sadistic stuff going on you know and that kind of stuff it’s come back to me in different ways
18:24so let’s let’s dive into that a little bit I know around age three and a half four
18:30um was when you were allegedly diagnosed with pneumonia and I know that that was one of your
18:36earlier memories of this let’s maybe talk about like how what you experienced going
18:41into this this program versus what they told your parents you’d be participating in
18:48right well I think that was just a pneumonia I think I actually had pneumonia or I had a very severe cold and it was freezing it was January in Montreal and what I I have a very vivid memory and
18:59I’ve had it all my life of of being taken in a on a stretcher out of the apartment building down the
19:06walk and into a waiting ambulance and everything you know drifts the snow drifts and everything’s
19:11frozen and they put me in the ambulance and they closed the door and once I’m in the ambulance I’m
19:17looking up at the attendant and he puts a mask over my face and it stinks it stinks of ether
19:24I mean I know the smell of ether I was three and a half it was not oxygen so I pulled it off
19:31and he was not an Iceman at all he gave me a you know and he just forced it onto my face again I
19:37have an absolutely clear memory of that you know that I’ve always had and um next thing I know I
19:42woke up in a award I and I think I was strapped to the bed and there were other children around
19:49but then it’s very vague it’s very and I have and then I have a kind of a memory of my of my mother
19:55coming to see me and um being very nervous and very frightened and I have all the other memory I
20:02have is I pooed in the bed at some point so there was this you know black turd lying beside me on
20:08this on the white sheet when I woke up and I went oh no and a nurse came and she was you know she
20:15wasn’t very happy and she but I have I’ve always had that memory that’s um but my mother came and
20:21wanted to know what was happening and they told her some of this is me being told later they told
20:28her that I had almost died and therefore she couldn’t see me she couldn’t take me home and that’s why I didn’t recognize her but um what I’ve learned since or what I what I believe because
20:40I’ve seen a file an emptied file nevertheless my Psychiatry file from 1955 to my conscious
20:48knowledge in life I’ve never seen a psychiatrist and no one ever said we send you to it we sent
20:53you to a psychiatrist when you were four years old you had you know you were saying never I have no
20:59it’s blank completely gone but I had apparently a file that was quite thick I could tell by the
21:05folder 1955 four years old and this had to be Dr Cameron’s LSD experiments at McGill because
21:16there was no children’s Ward there it was an illegal secret project there should not have
21:22been any children at all in that hospital there was a children’s hospital for children and I
21:27was told that you you know you cannot have a file here from 1955 because there were no children here but then they found the file said Psychiatry you see so there’s is it’s
21:37been this it’s a convoluted process for me of finding out my parents I think always just
21:43I I think they they had suspicions doubts fears that the psychiatrists then worked at
21:49calming and coming up with explanations for so they were always had you know a carrot
21:56you know carrot and stick kind of situation that there’s something coming for your daughter
22:02there’s something good that’s going to happen so just you know just trust us basically and
22:08they would make up explanations and so into things so just so if that gives an idea I mean
22:14um my my mother had to know that I was seeing psychiatrists but she was probably I’m guessing now she’s been dead for 30 what 40 years so I could never ask her but
22:26um it must have been just a pace of trusting the doctors and if they said don’t tell your daughter because that that will ruin the program you know what we’re doing for her then she would
22:36have gone along she wouldn’t have you know she would have obeyed their instructions
22:42so I I grew up in a yeah I I was half in half out of school with living a double life as far as I
22:50can tell and making friends downtown that I met you know down at McGill who I met like when I was
22:55in my 20s then they came up again they had you know they were and even recognized me sometimes
23:03oh my gosh that had been wild for you it’s a whole it’s a whole situation I don’t know
23:09whether this exists it probably did exist in other situations in other cities but it seems like it
23:15was an engineered program in Montreal and a lot of it had to do with the Arts entertainment music
23:24and creating this a population of uh creators and media people who would
23:31then be part of the future you know program basically brainwashing the population through
23:40a core population that that they started with in when they were children
23:48that sort of make sense though doesn’t it yeah and it sounds like a testing ground almost yeah
23:55and then people were chosen for their own you know the crew I mean I found it very easy in the beginning in my 20s to just get things published and be just find you know
24:08I was I was being encouraged rather than most people are discouraged from doing those kinds of things but I was getting encouraged I was I was getting encouragement I was getting people
24:17mentoring me I had people coming along it all just seemed so natural magical normal in a way
24:24but coincidental too and now I see well you know there was much more to the there were other people
24:31you know also having the same things happen they had been chosen basically talk a little bit about
24:38Dr Cameron and McGill University um and the programs that they were running because I
24:44I think to Canada like you said it doesn’t get you know recognized as much as maybe the United
24:50States or some other hot spots for this but this was a really big deal what they were doing and I know that they weren’t the only school but I know that you know Dr Cameron he was you know kind of
25:00a big deal back then in these programs and he’s a name probably a lot of people have never heard of
25:05I’d love for you to to just give some context to that and you know what were they working on and what was their goal there and you know what do you remember from the program right um
25:18um what I remember of the program is a kind of a patchwork of things I don’t maybe I’ll get
25:23to after but um Dr Cameron was a scottish-born American psychiatrist he trained in Switzerland
25:32and then he uh came to Canada ran a program at a hospital and then he went to Massachusetts
25:38too and then he um and then I think then he came to Montreal but he always had contacts in Albany
25:45New York right so he um that’s where he right after the war met with Alan Dulles the CIA OSS
25:58hand at the time who who uh hired him to go to Nuremberg to the trials of the uh of Nazi war
26:08criminals right and there was one in particular Rudolf Hess who had who’s a Defector and then
26:14people may know the story they may not but Hess had uh Hess had been very close to Hitler
26:19and been very high up in the Nazi in the SS and then he just defected and he flew to England so
26:25they’d had him in Spandau no Spandau was Germany I guess but they had him in a prison in Scotland for
26:34um you know for the rest of the after I don’t know a couple of years during the war and then in 45 they brought him back to Germany to try him for
26:41war crimes but they wanted because he was a Defector and possibly a spy
26:47you know working with um who knows could have been working for British intelligence too or
26:53he’d be working with the Nazis then they didn’t know they probably knew but they they wanted to
26:58make sure he made the right impression at the trial so they got two psychiatrists from um New
27:04York well and one of them was Dr Cameron Dr you and Cameron at the time and the other one was uh
27:10Nolan Lewis Dr Nolan D.C Lewis and he was he was head of the New York Institute of Psychiatry and
27:18they got these two guys and they sent them over to to um Nuremberg in Germany and had them interview
27:25has but now what people say is it’s like when they brainwashed him they wiped his memory
27:33so that when he was on trial and he was confronted with people he’d worked with in the U in the SS he
27:40didn’t recognize them he didn’t know his former colleagues he just didn’t know them his mind
27:45but they they had to CL his mind was in many ways gone I mean he his memory was gone they
27:51had selectively deleted memories which they were able to do then and um and so yeah so he
28:01he I guess he didn’t incriminate himself or you know he said what they wanted him to say
28:06so that’s how the trial played out and then they uh that was a big success but they had those
28:12methods already you know they knew how to do very sophisticated uh brainwashing selective memories
28:23because some of his memories were still intact so right and so then Cameron came back to uh
28:32by that point he was the head of the Allen Memorial Institute of Montreal which had been set up in 1943 and he started using these techniques on patients at the Allen Memorial so
28:43the Montreal experiments that started around 19 you know 43 44 and they were really tied in with
28:51um nasty Germany techniques they were using in the concentration camp some people trauma-based
28:57mind control right on concentration camp prisoners and children mangle this Clinic you know he used
29:05to brainwash children using trauma so Carmen had learned out he had all those files that they’d
29:11gotten from the Nazis and he started deploying that uh those techniques in Montreal on people
29:18just old ladies and young people and all kinds of people who went in there with with problems or
29:25people who weren’t getting on with their families or whatever and their family sent them to to get treated so that’s where that’s where a lot of this um a lot of this began he got a lot of
29:36experience from from just having access to people to innocent you know Canadians it’s that’s that’s
29:45how that that’s Dr Cameron they call it the worst the biggest the largest the worst uh you know uh
29:54uh human experimentation program that has ever existed anywhere ever been done on any population
30:01the largest in history you know it’s so if people haven’t heard of it it’s not because it’s not for
30:06lack of you know trying or anything I mean it really but it’s probably because there is always
30:12um yeah there’s Canada is always kind of kept in a it’s sort of in a separate
30:18place a separate category separate population and I think that’s also why
30:25um they chose Montreal because it was isolated and no one would you know no one would think
30:31things like that could go on here and so it’s been kept a secret for Generations that’s
30:39so you can see why people don’t want to believe it because it does it sounds
30:44crazy you know and I think one of the things to you over generations of time
30:49our own Divinity in the supernatural abilities that we are given at Birth are hidden from us you
30:57know we’re taught a very cut and dry curriculum of you have five senses you know uh telepathy is
31:05fake and all of these things are fake and this is just what a human is it’s a it’s a you’re a lame
31:10thing you know and you’re gonna be depressed your whole life we’re gonna work you we’re going to stress you out and so like we lose that within ourselves and that’s the thing that to me
31:18is really important to learn about these programs is there’s people that know how sophisticated our
31:24software is as a human and what we are god-given born ability is that we were born with and they’re
31:30exploiting them while hiding it from the public you know and they’re using children especially they’re so vulnerable and open to all the magic in the world you know and and they’re being
31:39exploited for it you know and so I think that this is it’s important I think this conversation
31:47it’s really sad to think about what is being done and how they’re exploiting on the other
31:52hand learning about it empowers us to say gosh we’re amazing humans are incredible what we’re
32:00capable of overcoming what our bodies are capable of doing how pliable we are like just because
32:05we have trauma inside doesn’t mean that we can’t heal we can heal miraculously if we learn how our
32:11brains are wired and how our bodies work how they work together and that’s the thing I think your
32:17story paints a lot of is how you know the gifted and talented program and showing how these gifts
32:23are specifically sought out and exploited and then they’re not told to people that aren’t in them
32:31that’s so so true and you put that so well yeah and that’s absolutely I think that’s maybe the the
32:41the deepest truth we can pull out of this experience is that or out of this history
32:48um is exactly what you’ve said it’s that um the and and it’s it’s exemplified by this
32:53gifted Children’s Program they chose kids um some of them they were chosen because they were psychic had sidekick abilities and they which they you know tested for I
33:02mean the scientists knew what they were testing for and uh ESP was a big thing
33:08that they uh they were interested in because they were looking for remote viewing abilities you know to use for the military but all of it of course like you say it was all they they
33:17chose those kids and they had a military they had a really kind of crass military um uh uh agenda
33:27behind it but the what the children had were god-given gifts that Society the churches were in
33:35the process of repressing too so you know have you been told I mean I’m a Christian I’m sure you are
33:42too but you know I’ve been told by many Christians that to explore those kinds of things is satanic
33:50and uh you must never and as a result I think I’ve I know I’ve listened to
33:55that and I’ve been very careful and I’ve kept you know I but but at the same time I think I
34:00think there’s something there’s some truth in what they say you can be swept away by forces
34:06you don’t understand there are spiritual forces out there they’re very dark possibly forces but
34:14and that’s what Satan is all about and that’s why people join Cults I guess but they also join Cults
34:21because they want to expand their you know just kind of expand as children of light too so you
34:26have this whole dichotomy that they play with all the time and they manipulate us and they try to terrorize us and people separating into groups saying oh you know bad over there those people
34:36are bad and you know I I’ve had quite a bit of it too yeah well I’m sure yeah or just this is
34:44fake and this is a conspiracy and it’s like again people have to dive into these things and explore
34:50them but to just outright deny that these things exist we have no idea as a society how to defend
34:56ourselves against any Warfare that comes against us or how to see it when it’s right in front of us or how to even understand you know a crime as big as human trafficking happening all over the world
35:06and MK Ultra you know because they’ve shut all that off and just thrown it off to the side and
35:12they’ve ripped it from education and you know it’s I think it’s really important like I said just
35:18understanding what they were looking for and what they know exists helps us understand how amazing
35:25we are as humans and how how powerful we can be if we all come together the same way that they have
35:32yeah and take back the control and that was you know I guess the the results of science I mean well observation you know if you live in the world long enough and you want in your involvement
35:41enough uh crazy stuff like a war for example you will you will see those abilities coming out of
35:48people and those and those could pass you know the capacity to that you will learn those things as a soldier probably very likely I haven’t been a soldier but that’s why the Air Force was just
35:59you know the Air Force was very involved in this research Eros you know going into Aerospace after
36:07the war um getting children for Aerospace because sitting up uh uh psychic children who for a
36:16distant early Warning Systems there were children taken up north in Canada children taken off
36:23um Native reservations and kept in uh facilities where they were trained because they had these
36:30they had these gifts that seemed to be genetic too partly and very strong in their culture and
36:37they were used in in you know as almost like human radar um little kids right but then later you know
36:45mkl2 you will talk to people and people who are like the spokespeople for it will say oh no but
36:51it didn’t work it was just a waste of time and money MK Ultra was a complete failure and you
36:58know nothing is being hidden because they didn’t find anything they didn’t you know none of these
37:03experiments were real like you said they will they will pretend it was fake when it was very real
37:10you know yeah they gasped us sorry they Gaslight us we Gaslight us constantly yeah
37:19and we’re all I always say we’re in an abusive relationship with the government you know really and they keep coming back and doing it over and over and we keep I know
37:30I know it’s wild but that’s why I always say survivors are you know everybody out
37:36there is there’s people listening to survivors of course like people on the show but for the most part everybody’s turning on their TV and idolizing these political influencers and these
37:45politicians and getting their news from them and it’s like you guys we have to listen to the people who are being silenced and the people who aren’t on the news we need to come to like you
37:55you and other survivors you all have the most important stories because you have the answers
38:00to all the questions that everybody’s asking and then looking at the news to try to find the answer
38:05the news is nothing but lies no it’s just complete you know it’s just a complete game of
38:12deception cause I can’t believe but people do you know people are still being influenced by it I
38:18guess they are your world gets very narrow when you’re someone like me in a way you know it gets
38:23narrow because it is not that much out there you can really relate to that doesn’t make you angry
38:30or you know just at odds with so many people but as I say the more of a the more the merrier the
38:39more of us there are the more we talk the more podcasts like this you know then that’s going to
38:45change I mean yeah we can have a conversation at least you know absolutely yes and it’s beautiful
38:52you know it’s so neat like how else would I have ever met you you know without the internet and
38:57without other people that can bridge that gap of connecting it’s really neat kind of how this whole spider web it’s this community is becoming smaller too and that’s also what they
39:07don’t want they don’t want people like me and you meeting they don’t want you meeting other survivors they don’t want podcasters bringing you on to tell your story but it’s happening
39:17happening and and I really see the audience growing I mean yeah that’s they see that
39:22too I think that scares them but oh well we’re coming whether they want it or not
39:32so let’s go back to you let’s talk about what were you specifically used for in these programs and
39:38then how long did that go for in your life and what kind of happened to transition out of that
39:45well that’s interesting um um that I fairly recently I’ve been I have at least um a story
39:58about it and it and I’ll just say I mean it seems to involve music which is natural because
40:05my father was a musician and a music teacher and had been involved with some Jazz the Jazz scene uh
40:14which was quite well developed in my very it was a big Jazz Center in the war and so some big stars
40:20came out of Montreal like um Maynard Ferguson and Oscar Peterson okay my father knew them
40:26although he was not if he was you know not a great musician or anybody who played in a band and
40:31so I I think it’s just natural that I would have been I would have been streamed my
40:36brother was musical too um into into some sort of program where I would do I was at least with
40:43uh around music because that’s been my life I don’t really play well I don’t I sing a bit
40:49but you know I don’t I’ve never really developed musically I haven’t become a
40:55musician in any way but I’ve always been around musicians so I think as a child
41:01I was put in a program where there were some future rock stars this is what I think that’s
41:07kind of catchy too people probably but I think it’s I think it is um what happened and and
41:14um and they were training Dr Cameron believed that rock music by the time by about 1960 he
41:22was saying this I think rock and roll was way too was um a way to spread mental illness to a society
41:30rock rock music was I mean you know the people of his Dem generation would have looked at you know
41:36uh I don’t know uh Eddie Cochran I just you know uh Chuck Berry over the release of Fats Domino and
41:43said well these people are abnormal you know look how they Elvis Presley main mainly you know look
41:50how that that person’s behaving this is completely like animalistic and these people are sick but
41:57their goal in many ways was to make was to kind of break down society and make people create kind
42:04of a chaotic um world that they could then take control of order out of chaos so so they they saw
42:12rock and roll as a as a way to channel mental illness and you would choose people who were
42:18mentally ill and they would claim their music and then the audiences would go crazy and they
42:23were and they did go I mean look at the girls screaming at the Beatles and Elvis and so and
42:29all those you know that Trend in the 50s and so on they watched it and they thought how can we you
42:34know we’re going to use this plus they were they had developed uh forms of uh electronic you know
42:41um signals through music they’re you know they’re really the the rock the music industry was taken
42:47over by the military in the mid 50s pretty much especially maybe in England and you know Emi
42:53Studios which had the Beatles and the stones and all the big you know they were recording all the big bands and all the big groups um that Emi was the name of was the label it stands for electronic
43:04music Incorporated and it was an Air Force it was an extension of the Air Force and of Chavez stock
43:10right the Tavistock Institute was also involved in that so they really had an idea that we can’t they
43:16were using sound to program children’s brains and they did that on military bases they probably did
43:22it to me they probably I know they were doing it you know around Montreal to to Children
43:28um and it’s basically to see what you could do with sound to someone to change someone’s brain waves and so that that absolutely was part of what rock and roll was intended to be was just
43:39a form of you know Mass entrainment and so at McGill in 1956 I I’m fairly sure that I was
43:52um that there were kids brought over from England who later went on to become
43:58uh rock stars and they were at the party that that I attended when I was five years old
44:07and and my father being a music teacher and being still having kind of fairly senior you
44:14know in his and uh we were well established and up to a point um and my mother having sort of
44:21French Canadian political I thought my mother was from the French Canadian Elite and she had she in
44:27her youth she really looked like a movie star so I think there was I think that’s what I was
44:35chosen for they there was the the idea that I would go on I would become part of
44:40the scene that they were in the process of creating over mostly in England right
44:46in London Tavistock Institute you know about that right you know about that Institute so they were
44:52involved in all kinds of cultural stuff and music and so on um and I would find find my way into
44:58that possibly as a model or maybe is a groupie or something or I don’t know what you know maybe
45:06um uh I was being groomed in some way but I think when I was about 12 I blew it
45:14yeah and and I think my father also got in into the act and realized that what was going
45:22on was basically a kind of child trafficking sexual programming of me right and and that a
45:30grooming for something that he that his own morality right his own ethics were against
45:37and rock and roll he certainly you know he was he um he didn’t want his daughter to marry a rolling
45:45stone that was the big thing at the time you know and would you let your daughter marry a rolling stone because the the those groups those bands were just totally overthrowing
45:55uh traditional morality so parents were appalled by you know the music and so on so that I think
46:02was the cutoff point for me and after that I think it put me into kind of a different
46:09um stream where they were grooming me to have some kind of career at the United Nations probably you
46:14know administrative something boring you know and and so I was put in a I was moved to a different
46:21school I had a whole set of different friends that wasn’t about music anymore it wasn’t it was just very like I became a prefect at school and I was like editor of the newspaper and that
46:33kind of that kind of stuff but I was like being groomed for some sort of intellectual you know and um and so that’s in an I think in a nutshell that’s what happened to me
46:46was that you know but originally it was going to be music and I think they flew me to London in
46:511963 just as the Rolling Stones were at you know and we’re launching their first record and I think
46:58I was there for that I have a I have a recovered memory of it you know so it’s kind of died I find
47:05that kind of exciting to remember that now to have flashbacks and to you know and even having
47:11conversations about it with people who were there but but um I didn’t I it’s recent it’s recent for
47:18me to even be able to remember some of this stuff and um uh you know anyway that’s the yeah I’m I’m
47:26sort of you know there’s no it’s not all bad in my opinion because I don’t think rock and roll
47:32really was bad I think rock and roll actually was liberating for us and I think it I think it worked
47:37against the program as much as it did program people it also made people awake and critical
47:46and so I I don’t know I think it’s just it’s this um story of several Generations I don’t
47:54know how it is for your Generation Now with music and what is happening coming to you through music or what music you listen to but you know I think um that’s I think that’s what happened to me
48:05back in the 60s right well that’s interesting too because you know frequency that’s another thing
48:10that people kind of keep out of the way and it’s such a big thing that they use against us you know
48:16music has been changed dramatically all genres from the frequency that it’s broadcasted to the
48:23words that they say to the harmonics you know music used to be these you know beautiful like
48:28Beethoven compositions and just layers of music you know and now it’s you know all auto-tuned and
48:35it’s you know it is in a lot of ways satanic like what is you know being broadcast and mainstream
48:40you know it seems to be yeah but that’s it’s fascinating that you say that because you know
48:46that’s been something I think especially the last couple years that people have become more aware of is the Hollywood model and looking at it with a critical eye finally and saying
48:55what is happening on the screen right now like this is weird you know what why are people dressed
49:01as Devils and you know why is why are celebrities walking out in Blood and you know talking about
49:06these things like that’s very it’s become very obvious now to people and it’s finally getting attention but I think the whole music industry like you said you know they’ve inverted music so
49:16much to where they use those frequencies against us and it puts us as humans in a low frequency
49:22you know when you think about rock music I think some rock music can almost be popish
49:27you know but then you have like the heavy metal that branched off from rock music which is you
49:33know extremely toxic and like you said getting a reaction you go to a concert and people are mosh pitting there’s people that have died of those concerts you know it’s like they just
49:42constantly are trying to push the boundaries on like what raises frequency and then what lowers it and how do we control people using those different Dynamics you know you’re right it’s
49:52it’s so multifaceted too you know there’s so many sides to it I mean I I read somewhere I mean heard
50:01that in 1972 that’s when the rock music industry completely switched over to satanism
50:07some people say that I mean they say that’s when the the the new bands coming in had to
50:13sign contracts or or they also when they began taking uh screams recorded screams of children
50:20being tortured and underground bases and so on and they began you know adding it how do
50:25you call that you know subliminals putting it into the music of subliminals all of that took
50:31off in 1972 was the cutoff date so um you know I don’t know I lost interest in music after 1972
50:40but that was just because I was in my I I was just at an age where you’re not that interested after in your 20s it’s not like when you’re 14 you know you’re you’re riveted to music you’re
50:49being really you know you’re really vulnerable to all to to all of it but by the time set night was
50:551972 I was 21 and I was I was kind of in the you know not interested I was so so they but
51:02anyway I I think it’s just gotten much worse much more sophisticated um and yet there’s great music
51:10I mean if you kind of listen out there there’s all kinds of wonderful music it’s playing even on you
51:16know I used to keep my radio on a few years ago and I mean I would hear great things but
51:22um some of it was from other countries other cultures that didn’t have French the French
51:28didn’t have this you know and in Montreal I could tune into French stations pure French pop music
51:34and not get this that I don’t know I could listen to it you know um it didn’t seem to be there to
51:41destroy your mind I seemed to be there to you know do the things the music’s supposed to do
51:47make you fall in love you know that’s incredible too just how you know different parts of the world
51:53might have a different type of program that’s being run and it’s almost like the whole world’s their experiment you know and it’s like this country we’re gonna try this this country we’re
52:01gonna try that we’re gonna do this we’re gonna do that and then they’re just observing with a microscope saying what’s going on like we’re in these little Petri dishes in our countries
52:11yeah and they’re all running it through the giant computer you know the Beast or whatever and you know and they can spend the rest the next hundred years as they need to analyzing it and
52:20exactly yes 100 and so after let’s say age 11 12 when your father had some maybe discernment and
52:31said okay we need to move on from this was there ever discussions I’m sure you didn’t remember anything but what happened after that until you’re your memory started recovering
52:44I just got um well my one thing about my father is they took him and they put him in the hospital and
52:49they brain want and they also depattered him that was what Dr Cameron you know called his method
52:56um uh deep patterning which was to take you know basically to interfere with the Neurology of you
53:03know of the brain you know and to and to he said we were all I don’t know I was just reading the
53:09other day there were people people’s minds people psychology is really just a whole
53:14um complex system of multi-layered patterns but if you shake up those patterns uh you
53:19can change the person you get a different person so he would literally wipe people wipe people’s minds I mean with electroshock and drugs and so on and repeated messages
53:30and um it played hundreds of times through with a football helmet and ear and earphones and a
53:38battery or something running this this tape in people’s heads and um so my father actually was
53:44taken from his work from the school where he was teaching in um December 1962 and put in
53:53the hospital and he stayed there for six weeks and when he came home he really had to have that he had he didn’t really recognize us at first he had to he had to relearn you know his own identity
54:04and um that’s what happened to my father in 1962 now I was 11 at that point um I they
54:11hadn’t finished with me as far as I can tell they because I was an asset to them and they had paid
54:18money for me so the fact that my father was now kind of he couldn’t work anymore he was
54:24at home and he was that you know he was sort of pushed aside they continued working on me
54:30at that point and that’s I think the following year is when I think they sent me to London
54:36um on a you know and I remember being in London in 1963 you know walking down the
54:43street in this little dress but that’s just come to me in the last three years two years
54:48that memory I didn’t have that memory for most of my life so okay what I think then I think um
54:57I think that caused a crisis in my family and we suddenly we we we began making plans to move
55:04out west to completely leave our home everything behind my parents loaded up the car and we were
55:10going to Alberta and and we drove across Canada that summer but something must have happened on
55:18when we got out there maybe we just we saw kind of Canada and we really want to leave Montreal and
55:23live out on the Prairies you know and I don’t know but anyway they changed their minds and we drove back and then kind of resumed our lives so then a year later I was in high school in high school
55:34that’s another it was that was for the first year of high school it was music The Rolling Stones The
55:42Beatles and the whole and all of my friends were crazy about um uh The Beatles The Rolling Stones
55:48and a television program called The Man from Uncle which when you look at it now you can see
55:54the people writing that program had to know a lot about MKUltra so that was okay we were watching it
56:00weekly and it was a kind of programming coming at us through a spy you know it was about two
56:07spies one was Russian one was American and they worked together for this United Nations type of
56:13organization and they went all over the world doing crazy things since on we love this show but I think also it was it was triggering some kind of programming or something too at least
56:22maybe in me or I don’t know maybe other kids who you know at school so it was after that year so
56:28after 1965 they they um they just I seem to have decided that I had to be moved to another school
56:37and put into another um onto another track in life and that just took me to University I mean
56:46um once I was in university all I wanted to do was make Revolution you know was to be was overthrow Society I was angry I was I joined women’s movement I joined you know
56:58um black power was happening and I just was got involved in this much of that kind of thing as I
57:03could be involved in 1968 1969 and so that uh you know and then I lived in a women’s commune and you
57:13know and uh went to abortion demonstrations and you know we did all kinds of stuff that was like
57:20the whole hippie Revolution right activist yeah period and a lot of American draft Dodgers have
57:26come up to Montreal so they were really organizing a lot of these things too so that was my kind of career I mean until my mid-20s when when I got fed up with the women’s movement I could see that it
57:39was some for it was like a form of Mind Control I didn’t like what was happening to the women that I knew who were in it who at first we started out with so much optimism and hope and energy and and
57:50positivity and it became something very different uh very negative very anti-male very very narrow
57:58in some way and I just said I have to get out of this and at some point not that long after I
58:04met Leonard Cohen and he was a figure in Montreal who had at that point a kind of ambival ambiguous
58:12figure bed at the same time famous in his own way and he became a kind of a mentor for me so
58:19that took took me off in a really different direction I think that was I think he was
58:25um he definitely he would have been in the hospital himself he had gone through the program
58:31Dr Cameron he you know he had been there been a lecture shock numerous times many people had
58:37seen him in there many he even talked about it to some extent and so I think he was a a programmed
58:46uh singer writer poet and all these things but um at a higher level where he had become himself a
58:54programmer and I think he was my Handler and but you know at the time again it was like a
59:01wonderful you know Wonderful coincidence to run into him or have him phone me one night you know
59:07invite me over and so that’s when my life took off in a different kind of a different direction
59:13I started writing and I began kind of imagining this career as a writer journalist you know who’s
59:22writing poetry all kinds of stuff so about how did how did you meet him and how did that come about
59:30he used to just I everyone could meet him and you know in some way he was awesome just wandering
59:36around town um he he had a bad reputation you know with women picking up young women and that
59:43I and so he was someone to avoid in in many ways at least that I did for years avoid him
59:51um you know he would stop you you’d pass him in the street he’d be there you know and he would
59:56he would recognize him you know and then he tried to start a conversation um he was in bars a lot
1:00:03you know and uh at the same time he was going you know he was going to Israel and he was you know
1:00:10fighting in the Yom Kippur War and coming back and you know he bought some buildings and had
1:00:16that little corner um of the downtown that was kind of several buildings that he owned and then
1:00:23he started a family had a kid I had a couple of kids you know and and when I met him he had his
1:00:29children were I think three years old and five three and five and he had split with his wife
1:00:35so he just phoned he got my number from from someone that I knew who was his Carpenter who
1:00:42was renovating one of his buildings and this person had been telling me about Leonard and
1:00:47you know you should get to know you should meet Leonard and I was saying I don’t know and finally I gave him my phone number and uh I said if you see Leonard you know maybe he can you know here’s
1:00:58my phone number so within 24 hours I got a phone call and he invited me over that was it was that
1:01:06simple I lived about two blocks from him at that point two or three blocks I thought was there in you know 10 minutes or something and then just friendly you know social kind of chatting and
1:01:19tea and played this guitar and sing cowboy song and that’s how I kind of you know got sucked in
1:01:29it was you know and I felt very lucky that that this had happened I didn’t understand
1:01:34like I’m sure now that what he was doing was he was kind of calling me back he was he was he was
1:01:42um assigned to me he was partly acting out of you know instructions because I had started
1:01:49publishing poetry so he CL and a book had come out and I was in anthology and he told me he’d
1:01:56read my poems and that’s why he called me because he liked them better than anyone else’s you know that’s what he said then that’s why I believed you know at the time oh he likes me you know but
1:02:06I think there was much more to it yeah much more was going on and it was about getting me back
1:02:12into the under the umbrella and you had mentioned that uh in other interviews that
1:02:20you’ve done about a possible connection whenever you were a child with him at the McGill University could you talk about that right you’ve heard that story now um
1:02:32um that I can’t explain I can’t find another way to explain how closely
1:02:41he um he seemed to be able to relate to me when I was meeting him for the first time how he seemed
1:02:48to know me how he seemed to you know he invited me into his world it made it really made no sense and
1:02:55nobody would believe it you know like why would he do that because it wasn’t like I was running after
1:03:00him and trying to seduce him or that I was a very sexy woman who you know he found her or something like that it was absolutely not and it was just like a friendly thing but it was somehow family
1:03:10and the okay so about how many years ago five six years ago I had a friend who’s since deceased but
1:03:18he um he did a meditation one day at one or you know and told me he you know he was going
1:03:26to go into what the causes of this relationship with Leonard Cohen that had eaten up a lot of my life had really taken up a lot of space in my life he didn’t he didn’t think that he said
1:03:35there’s something wrong or there’s something hot there’s got to be a reason for it he did a meditation and he saw me as a child on a table in the hospital kind of on a you know a stretcher
1:03:45or something surrounded by doctors and white jackets and they they were Electro shocking me
1:03:51and I was in the I was four or five years old is when I think this actually happened now I had had
1:03:56my own flashback to them a couple of years before but I never talked about it and I never told him
1:04:02but he kind of spontaneously you know traveled to that time saw that happening and he saw that
1:04:09you know and I’m from my own flashback I knew they electroshocked me to the heart and it caused my heart to you know splutter not you know and then they said well if we
1:04:18do this again it could be lethal and okay we’ll try I mean that was their attitude I mean that
1:04:27was these doctors right oh let’s do it so they were about to do it and in my flash book that’s
1:04:33the point where I woke up kind of in a being feeling shocked which kind of right you know
1:04:39jumping in the air almost off the table and I woke up from the flashback and you know that’s what happens often you can’t go beyond a certain point then you just can never find out
1:04:47so my friend Patrick saw what happened at that point he said a guy comes running in the room
1:04:55uh it’s Leonard Cohen he’s like 20 years old and he stops it from happening
1:05:02for me it was completely believable because it explained the whole psychology of my relationship
1:05:09with Leonard where he was he called me we Annie even though I was six feet tall and you know and and you know he had little little habits you know it was sort of sometimes as if
1:05:23he saw me as a little girl which I was not I was 26 years old and I was six weeks old and
1:05:28I was not a little girl you know I was he was five foot seven so I mean um uh it just it just
1:05:35explained it explained to his patience with me and explained how he he was very tolerant of a lot of
1:05:41things he was very jovial he kind of treated me in this way that you know it just it just wiped
1:05:49away all the strange unanswered questions of the relationship which had gone on for 20 years
1:05:55and which really fell apart because of another little girl where you know I so I mean um
1:06:07where I began to sense this pedophile you know under current two and then just freaked me out completely so that’s really one reason why the relationship
1:06:17my relationship with him couldn’t continue but um you know I think he just I’ve never I don’t
1:06:25know if I’ve ever said that before to anyone but but I mean he I think he was part of a generation
1:06:33and and his own like programming was the Hugh Hefner generation and they were introducing
1:06:41pedophilia along with the whole all the you know things in the 60s the sexual Revolution and the
1:06:47feminism and all the things that were suddenly you know current and they were being promoted
1:06:53everywhere like transculture now they were promoting they were really beginning to promote
1:06:58sex between children and adults in the 70s Hefner and was talking was hinting at it in Playboy and
1:07:06you know it was becoming it was going to be the next thing and I think Cohen felt also that it it
1:07:12was um if he believed in it so much as he felt it was inevitable or something and so I picked up on
1:07:20that sometime around you know in the late 70s I began noticing that and I just you know found it
1:07:26anyway wow did he say certain things or what was it that gave you that Vibe what was what
1:07:33what was it that gave you that Vibe did he make comments or what did he do Behavior
1:07:40um talk it was yeah I don’t want to talk too much about people but yeah things he said some Behavior
1:07:46with children um not that I saw sexual behavior I didn’t but I sense the atmosphere and what the
1:07:53children were being exposed to and what they knew about which seemed like you know I mean of course
1:07:59later generations were exposed to a lot more than my gen my little generation you know in
1:08:06the 50s but nevertheless I found some of it you know disturbing and um I couldn’t
1:08:12get a clear answer out of him I guess about it and I just started to distance myself you know
1:08:18um I don’t know what more to say about it it’s just more like he felt I I think he you know
1:08:24in the same way that he embraced religion in a very you know like I a total kind of way he would
1:08:31um he would take on these kinds of beliefs and so on very he was dogmatic in a strange way he
1:08:40was he’s like he saw his role as being to you know to uplift people in some ways and teach
1:08:46them you know the Torah you teach them the true teachings of Judaism or or Christianity too but
1:08:53but then he’d also you know sort of teach him about the programming that was coming you know
1:08:58he he was kind of an all-around mouthpiece I mean you never stopped talking you know like
1:09:06me now I understand it better now but I thought it was interesting too how you had mentioned and
1:09:14it’s not surprising but it’s just again there’s so many hidden societies and hidden roles that people
1:09:19have behind the scenes that the public doesn’t see how you had mentioned he was a 33rd degree Freemason yeah I’ve been told that I’m by several people yeah and then he had also talked about and
1:09:31kind of hinted at bringing you into kind of a weird cult that he may have been in right
1:09:38wasn’t he talking to you about some cult like a death called or something like that it was um
1:09:44there was a period when he seemed to be forming a cult and he was also a member he was a student of
1:09:50a Zen master in California called Sasaki roshi so he was he was kind of he yeah he was um I had been
1:10:00studying for you know a couple of decades I guess and he started talking about bringing Judaism and
1:10:06the Kabbalah together with Zen and creating a new religion and symbolism and so on and this was at a
1:10:13low point in his music career I think that’s when people get into these kinds of things you know so he he you could see it was very much on his mind and that to to talk about religion but a kind of
1:10:25cult you know kind of culty type of religion you know and the kind of thing is Masonic essentially
1:10:30Masonic and he had you know he designed these symbols male and female energies you know
1:10:39um you know and then I think his career I think that kind of ended when suddenly had it had a
1:10:46hit record again in 99 about 1988 he found a new manager and she uh rebuilt his career and
1:10:53suddenly I mean I think that’s when he kind of in a way dropped the the put that as put aside
1:11:00the religious thing I and and got into music for a few years and you know it just had this
1:11:07checkered career I also believe he he I know for a fact he went on missions uh he was a a mercenary
1:11:16but no one knows that it seems nobody really wants to look at that but but I I would say uh he he was
1:11:24often in places where there were were Mossad you know had installed itself or the CIA was
1:11:30involved or there was a revolution in progress and he seemed to play some kind of role in revolutions and um coups and things like that the Bay of Pigs in 1961 in Cuba and you know and Ethiopia
1:11:44Israel well during the war there yeah so he was a military person he had weapons training you know
1:11:54it’s very complicated yeah and I think especially for you you know having this coincidental what
1:12:02you thought was coincidental uh relationship with him and then finding later potentially that maybe
1:12:08this this relationship in a sense or just this connection was going on for a very long time since
1:12:14you were little yeah and there was affection that came I believe there was the strong this was the
1:12:20whole thing about it it was hard to dismiss for me uh that there seemed to be genuine affection
1:12:27and this it was quite uh yeah complicated to to process I and for a while I thought he’s just
1:12:35a Buddhist you know he just loves everyone and so I would introduce people to him thinking well
1:12:41he’s going to love them too you know you know they’ll get some of this love and they didn’t they did and then so slowly you know it took me a long time to realize well it’s because you know he
1:12:52no he doesn’t love everybody he but he remembers this little girl that he knew at one point in the
1:12:58hospital we Annie you know that was the thing now it’s very simple when you figure it out
1:13:06but I had Amnesia right I had no memory all of that was gone from the lsdn or whatever
1:13:13they did to me to make me forget all of that he remembered though you know so it humanizes
1:13:20him you know I think that’s the other thing that people who didn’t go through something like you
1:13:26on the outside when you hear about you know the abuse that people are indoctrinated into in these
1:13:31systems and the things that they’re forced to do it’s not good you know it’s very uh there’s
1:13:37a lot of violence a lot of trauma there’s a lot of forcing people to do things against their will there’s a lot of non-consensual actions you know and then those people grow up to then perpetuate
1:13:48It On to the Next Generation right and so of course Society should be so angry that that these
1:13:54people are out there walking you know there’s very little persecution but at the same time it helps
1:13:59to humanize people and to to remember that they were also born children of God who were abused you
1:14:06know and these people were were taken advantage of they were programmed they never had a choice their whole life and a lot of them still like I bet any of them you know if they would have had a
1:14:16choice they would have chosen love and they would have chosen to be kind to the child or the or the children you know and and it just didn’t happen that way because they never had that choice and
1:14:25they never got that choice and I love how your story you know it Paints the picture of who he
1:14:30might have been you know this Intel person who is handling you all his intentions or the things that he was made to do with the relationship may not have been pure but it seems like there was a
1:14:40place in his heart that was very pure for you and that he showed that to you for a long time
1:14:46yeah and that’s ABS again you’re really you’re so clear yeah exactly and it could take it’s
1:14:52taken me many years to kind of process that and come to that that kind of understanding of it I
1:14:58um you know he died in 2016 and uh um I don’t know I had a lot of resentment against him up
1:15:07until that point you know all right up until his death I think and once once he was gone it was
1:15:12as if we had to do we still had a relationship in some way and but it had changed and the pressure
1:15:19that he used to constantly complain about the obligations and the feeling of he had no choice in
1:15:26the matter and many things he used to say that all the time and I used to just not understand it you
1:15:31know I used to go what do you mean you know you’re a millionaire I mean you’re famous you’re telling me you have no control over your career but I think it was absolutely true because the career
1:15:41would never have come to him had he not made all these deals and all these you know all these secret agreements that then he had to pay the price for and so once he was dead thank you thank
1:15:53you Lord you know once he was dead all of that just dissolved and in a way I felt also free from
1:16:01a lot of things because I didn’t have to think about him anymore I think about all the you know all these puzzling you know I had still had these memories of things that had happened we just just
1:16:12you can be free if you can if you can overcome your fear of death you’re free of most things
1:16:18in this world that’s really what it’s all based on that’s how they get us you know
1:16:24yeah so especially like we’ve definitely seen that you know Amplified the last few years
1:16:30everything’s been death and dying and you’re gonna get people sick and you know it’s been this huge Warfare against us being afraid of us dying of something or us giving somebody
1:16:41something that’s going to kill them you know and that’s that it’s so powerful what that does to a whole society when you you know implant that fear and Trauma onto them on a grand scale
1:16:52it’s like blackmailing the whole society isn’t it you know stealing everything yeah stealing their
1:17:00choices yeah like every generation has to learn a lesson in their own way over and over again
1:17:07and it’s always really the same lesson I guess you know like who am I and what am I able what
1:17:13am I capable of and and what will I accept what won’t I accept and you know what am I here to do
1:17:20comes down to those things yes and we’re asking going around you know staying indoors for a year
1:17:27you know that’s not why I came here you know right yes and taking back the gifts that are
1:17:34ours that they want to exploit and you know lower the frequency of you know and step into Who We Are
1:17:42yeah we’re working on it and so let’s go into when you started to have memory recall when did that
1:17:52happen and what what triggered that for you to say oh my gosh my life wasn’t what I thought it was
1:17:59um big time in two it was I was 50. I had just turned 50. so it was in 2003 I mean I’m
1:18:07time flies but really all my life I had some very strange memories like I had I remembered
1:18:14and told my mother when I was four or five about being in an underground base where children would
1:18:21be tortured basically and I and at four I had a very visit you know um I don’t know I mean
1:18:29dream fantasy but it was a scenario that I that came up for me every night I would recreate it
1:18:36in my mind but I had because I’d experienced it I felt but my mother said well it’s a Dream
1:18:42It’s a nightmare you know and it didn’t it’s not real but it was identical it was odd had there
1:18:48were odd details about it that were identical to another Survivor that I found out about I
1:18:53started in 2003 and it might have been folly I’m not sure but um I think maybe it was but it was
1:19:02um China Lake military base in California had the exact scenario that I remembered and I have proof
1:19:11it because I wrote about it in 19 in the 1980s I wrote a short story that got published that
1:19:17describes it so I can’t nobody can say well you just read about it on the internet in 2000 and
1:19:22then you you know it absolutely was with me all my life um and uh so that’s you know memories
1:19:32I remember some of the trauma you know in my family I remember you know
1:19:37um yeah some of the things that you know that were odd that were happening like not being at
1:19:43school you know about half the year and you know but a lot of that’s just behind Amnesia was or
1:19:49they they create anyway that’s but you know just odd things and then but then in 2003 that’s when
1:19:56I really uh had the time and I instantly plowed into MK Ultra I basically stumbled on it and
1:20:04recognized certain things and realized this was this was my city my time my father had been you
1:20:14know in the Allen with this dog the same doctor and it could you know we were involved in it I
1:20:21mean I but I know it ever told me that before it had been downplayed and my parents were more they
1:20:28were more concerned about not us not knowing they didn’t want us to know because I they didn’t understand it either they wouldn’t have been able to explain it and it had traumatized
1:20:38them and they just didn’t want our lives to be you know ruined by so they tried to pretend
1:20:45that nothing had happened and that’s why I have all these idyllic memories of childhood and you know and I’m having been successful at school I wasn’t a you know I was like a model student
1:20:56and um those are yeah that was my conscious you know with the word you know my front altar I guess
1:21:03was like that but but once I started researching then you know things began fitting together
1:21:09it’s funny because some people get flooded I was I was warned some people go and get hypnotized and
1:21:18um OC therapist and be and try to recall the memories I I was warned not to do that so I didn’t do it just at the beginning of you know in the early 2000s
1:21:29um so in instead I approached it from the outside and I did research I I read thousands of pages of
1:21:37about MK Ultra I corresponded with people I didn’t I still didn’t believe that I had been in it as a
1:21:44child until I met a group of psychics in Montreal and they basically came to me and said we want to
1:21:53work with you we think you have a story one of them in particular who I had met who could see
1:21:58who said my father told him you know my father had been dead for 30 30 years at that point but
1:22:05um your father is telling me that his story needs to be told and you need to tell it and I want I
1:22:11have a group of people that will work with you and I was still pretty you know I I knew a lot
1:22:17about the program I knew not about the history I had studied enough and for over a year after
1:22:22a year so I knew the history of it all but I I didn’t see where I fit into it and these
1:22:28people were just natural remote viewers and they formed like a circle and we met week after week
1:22:36and sometimes we videoed you know or taped the session and um they they went to without
1:22:43my giving them any kind of instructions because I wasn’t sure what to tell them they went back
1:22:50to McGill in 1960 and talked to the children who were living in the laboratory under the ground
1:22:55and going through experiments and they and even I I didn’t know about those children and then
1:23:01and none of them knew about the children and we had their got their names and their life stories
1:23:06and we even looked at their files and it was a whole that took up a year or two or even longer
1:23:14that was just amazing and it was we were all just blank we I mean we’re not in no way except for
1:23:21me who had done all the reading and the research but couldn’t connect it to my own life or my own
1:23:27really yet I wasn’t able to to put it together and and these people filled in all those blanks
1:23:34so that is okay that’s where I’ll show you this is my book and I wrote this in 2004 and
1:23:41and it’s called my cold war and that and the story of the remote viewing is in there it’s it’s really kind of a self-published book with it has its flaws but but
1:23:51um that’s what came out of that ex you know that whole period and so on and all the research
1:23:57just tell me my family your book is your testimony right and people can work
1:24:03yeah first person did you say I said where can people purchase that ah online you can go to my
1:24:10website it’s like oh you can go to if you if you Google and Diamond my cold war Ann Diamond my cold
1:24:20war and you might put in Amazon or Lulu either it should be available on both and you should
1:24:27be able to get copies either and there’s free I have it on my website uh I’m giving away the PDF
1:24:34three if somebody wants to you know contact me I can send them a PDF or they can download it wow that’s amazing so you said Amazon Lulu or they could contact you directly and get a PDF of it
1:24:45yeah or even just if they can fund I don’t know yeah I can give you a link at the end of the show
1:24:51so talk about that process a little bit like why why and how did you decide to go public and what
1:24:57was that like for you especially because like how we were talking about earlier it was a different time back in the early 2000s you know what was your motivation to do that and like what was the
1:25:06process um I was motivated by the idea I had a great story and then it would get published
1:25:12and thousand and millions of people would read it I really I mean maybe thousands you know in
1:25:18Canada and then it would make a big difference and it would help people because you know that was my motivation and my belief but what actually happened was there was an a complete uh I was
1:25:31completely shut down by every in every direction that I went to talk to Publishers agents editors
1:25:38you know magazines anybody that I approached um instantly shut me down and I had a I you
1:25:47know published in a couple of novels at that point and I had you know I had been teaching creative writing and a university and so on and I had it I knew all kinds of people you
1:25:56know I’ve been a journalist I had to call him you know in the Montreal Gazette and or anything so I
1:26:02sort of had this public you know uh personality in a way persona but once I came out with this
1:26:10story or I try I had the manuscript and I started trying to just tell people Publishers you know
1:26:16um maybe you’d be interested in this it’s a fantastic story it’s a very it’s very disturbed you know without I believe they they rejected it without reading it because they already knew
1:26:28I was not the first and they already knew that it was absolutely taboo the topic is taboo you
1:26:35cannot talk about it in Canada it’s because of the children because I was talking about the children
1:26:42and it’s they have just crushed that you know it and even though in on at conferences in the
1:26:50states at the time it was being talked about and there were people in Canada that were researching it and and I have met them and so on but nobody has had a book published as far as I know so um
1:27:03what happened was just a complete blacklisting and everybody just you know and then I think people
1:27:08were told I was schizophrenic and I you know don’t even deal with her and she’s gone crazy and it was
1:27:14a real um yeah that happened pretty fast and then that and then I just pulled myself out
1:27:23I’m I moved to Greece I mean I found a I found a a boyfriend to Greece in her life in Greece
1:27:28that was just kind of given just offered to me at that same time and I I just said this you know I
1:27:34I can’t be here and just fight with this because there’s no I can’t even get a finger fingernail
1:27:39hold you know anywhere there’s nobody will talk to me and they’re ready to forget everything like
1:27:44that they even knew me and just you know fall into line it was shocking really to see people
1:27:53you know and uh so that’s it’s been 20 years almost yeah and finally you know a group has
1:28:03formed there’s a lot of um there are two lawsuits and in fact you could say there are three lawsuits
1:28:10in progress class action suits there’s been media some media attention and they still don’t talk
1:28:15about children unless it’s Aboriginal it’s native children indigenous children the Mohawk children
1:28:22because they can’t deny that anymore they found all the mass Graves or they’re you know they think
1:28:27they’re they found the mass Graves all across the country so they can’t stop the Mohawk mothers from
1:28:32saying our children are buried at Mcgill and this has made a huge difference because there are other children buried at McGill there’s a lot of I think Mohawk kids yes in the ground
1:28:42there are a lot I don’t know how many but a lot of missing Mohawk children but I believe there are other other children there and all across Canada there are mass grades with children
1:28:53but you can imagine I mean the Department of Defense has completely you know they they control
1:28:59the media I guess if you know if there’s anyone I think there was a documentary that was going
1:29:05to air in about 1998 and they just canceled it it’s never been seen yeah I was told yeah
1:29:13it’s amazing to me how long they’ve been able to cover all this up you know because there’s
1:29:18even like there’s even proof the CIA has come out and said we did this it stopped but we did it you
1:29:25know and people still are like oh that that never happened or it’s not it couldn’t happen and you had said in an interview you’re like why would they stop something that was so effective
1:29:35you know why would we just believe oh it worked great we’re just gonna stop it though because the public doesn’t want us to do it anymore you know it’s just so tricky and they find different
1:29:45ways and they they destroyed or they hid the records you know it I mean I’m sure they had many panic attacks when they realized that they what you know what they were sitting on and I’m
1:29:55sure that still goes on today at McGill University which you know there was a an injunction and they
1:30:01were and they were had agreed to uh produce the records and they’ve gone they’ve reneged on their
1:30:06agreement within two weeks they were saying no no no we won’t no we won’t we said we would but no we won’t well because they can’t I think because they can’t without completely you know exposing
1:30:19everything and who really who wants to you know who wants to know does anyone want to know well we
1:30:27do you know yeah we need to know that I think more people too would want to know if they could just
1:30:33wrap their mind around that it’s it’s possible you know people are just they’ve just been told so
1:30:39many times repetition mind control right this is fake this is conspiracy so people don’t even want
1:30:45to consider it you know and even trauma trauma in itself we’re so not dialed in as a society on how
1:30:53trauma actually affects our bodies and like you were saying with the Tavistock Institute the whole Rockefeller you know education system they’ve dumbed down and taken out of textbooks for
1:31:04psychologists and counselors people that could have an impact don’t even have access to this
1:31:09information and so they think it’s a conspiracy when somebody like you comes in and says here’s
1:31:15everything I went through here’s what’s going on with my body and they they say you’re crazy we’re gonna lock you up you know and it’s so sad because it’s actually really powerful and interesting how
1:31:25trauma affects us and then learning how we can undo that and so so many people would benefit if they had that knowledge and instead people don’t even realize that what they’re dealing
1:31:34with is trauma much less how to help themselves through it yeah and Trauma and just even hearing
1:31:42about it is traumatic you know it’s just knowing this whole story is is a form of trauma in itself
1:31:50apart from you know the tortures and so on and they did they tortured people sensory isolation I mean they what they did with children at McGill went in directly into the
1:32:00um cia’s torture manual you know kubark torture manual has methods that were developed at McGill
1:32:08by Donald Dr Hebb and Dr Cameron and then these some of these they were great named Dr Lehman
1:32:14you know great names in medicine or of science you know it could really turn you against science
1:32:22I mean what they did was just such a a distortion of Psychiatry you know when I was and when I was
1:32:29I don’t know in my teens I thought I wanted to be a psychiatrist when I grew up I wanted you know I was reading books on Psychiatry and RD Lang and you know all the transcendental you know
1:32:43Consciousness and I thought that’s what psychiatrists would say it’s to help people open up to this you know this bigger universe and to heal themselves and
1:32:51all that but what was being done at McGill at that time was actual torture you know
1:32:59it was intended it was military mind control with no there was no healing at all they just destroyed
1:33:07they destroyed families they destroyed patients they went after their children
1:33:13it was just a criminal it was a criminal operation right in the middle of a world famous you know
1:33:20institution that was being looked to as a model you know around the world just makes no sense or
1:33:29it does you know make sense but it does once you learn but I mean you’ve even said you know this
1:33:34was happening at Harvard and this was happening at these other you know I’m being A-list schools
1:33:40it was so I don’t know I just well just recently I read an article from from The New Yorker about
1:33:45a guy who claims he was it was very convincing very persuasive you know personal story of a
1:33:50guy who was so depressed he was ready to kill himself and electroshock cured him
1:33:56and how he describes innocently it’s from a couple of years ago in the New Yorker I just read it the other day and all I could think of was this is so different his experience the doctors
1:34:06were trying to help but they were very firm we were going to give you this treatment it’s the only thing that you can help you and the nurse you know and he knew all these people who were
1:34:14suffering and he just describes it it’s so Humane it’s New York Institute of Psychiatry that he he
1:34:20was in you know Columbia University and it’s the same institution that was doing the in
1:34:27the military mind control you know experiments in the 50s and destroying people imprisoning people
1:34:35and so what it where’s the what is it is it just certain people that they select
1:34:40that they actually help or is it different you know different time periods different
1:34:48what is going on I mean you know it’s wild what helped you when you were healing you mentioned
1:34:56the group of people that came around you and helped you maybe remote view what other tools
1:35:01were really helpful for you I know it’s not the same for everybody but I love talking about that a little bit because something you know that you say might be really helpful for somebody
1:35:11um I learned I went to the it was called the smart conference I don’t know if in Connecticut and there was a group of people including Carol rutz and I don’t know if you
1:35:20know Wanda carricker she wrote a book you know her book uh no I can’t remember the name but oh
1:35:26the name sounds familiar but I wouldn’t be able to to recall where her book is called
1:35:32um she wrote a book with something that entitled like min oh I forget anyway something about the
1:35:37dawn or I forget but it’s a really very good novel about a small town in in New England where where
1:35:43uh people are being yeah are going through these kinds of cult programming experiences anyway she
1:35:49was there and a lot of other people and and there was a kind of a discussion what is what
1:35:54is the best form of therapy that you can recommend afterwards you know people were talking about it
1:36:00online and and they did a poll of I don’t know a lot of survivors uh and number one is talk therapy
1:36:10if you can afford that or find somebody who’ll talk to you you know I never could so
1:36:16um but and the second is writing so I’m fine with that they’re very close I can’t remember the other
1:36:22you know you know play therapy sandbox I don’t know you know but those two are they’re absolutely
1:36:28at the top so I think if someone you know I never could afford to see a therapist I don’t you know
1:36:33I you know I never went to therapy I wonder what if what would have happened if I had you know back
1:36:40before all this they probably would have given me drugs or something I don’t know you know but
1:36:46I’m glad I’ve always had this habit of writing and I think it’s a good habit to cultivate and
1:36:54it’s very helpful to go back and look at yourself as you you know what you wrote 10 20 years ago if
1:37:00you can keep that you know or even two years ago or even six months ago I used to you know often
1:37:07kind of keep Diaries and uh now it’s mostly in emails but I still can find those you know I
1:37:14yeah and writing’s so powerful too just because it doesn’t elicit that same fight or flight uh
1:37:23sympathetic nervous system response it’s kind of the opposite so it’s really it’s a lot easier to
1:37:28process without having to speak it you know remember when you were saying that when you started talking you would shake and it’s very different when you can keep quiet and just
1:37:37hold a pen and write like it affects our body differently and and puts us in a different you
1:37:42know a different state you’re right do you write yourself do you do I love you I love writing yeah
1:37:52yeah it kind of comes through you know that anyway you become you’re you’re your own therapist then
1:37:58but you’re also your friend your best friend in a way you can talk to yourself without having to
1:38:03you know make excuses and I think it it leads to eventually you know you’re an integrated
1:38:10personality that could take a long time for some people absolutely yes well luckily now
1:38:16we have people like you we have people like Kathy O’Brien and you know Lisa meister’s and a lot of
1:38:22people who have healed and who all have different ways of doing it and now hopefully people who are
1:38:28going through what you did you know to some degree or who are dealing with different levels of trauma
1:38:33they’ll be able to find people like you and get tools more easily than they would have been able to 20 30 40 years ago you know even five years ago you know so my hope is that people you know the
1:38:43process of healing accelerates with time as more people speak out more people share more counselors
1:38:49talk to people like you you know instead of just trusting their textbooks they say what did you go
1:38:55through you know and how does it affect your body and start learning outside of the box you know so
1:39:00that gives me a lot of Hope too that there’s there’s more information on actual trauma and
1:39:06actual healing of you know did and just extreme trauma that’s that’s being advocated for by
1:39:12survivors and you’re seeing that happening right are you yes in the future that’s happening you see
1:39:19it I’m seeing it yeah I’m seeing therapists now talk to Satanic ritual abuse survivors and I’m
1:39:24character survivors and work with those people and try to understand you know that clientele versus
1:39:30just the type that they learned about in school and I think that’s amazing there’s a Survivor that
1:39:36um that I’ve interviewed her daughter is going to school to be a a psychologist and wants to
1:39:42work with MK Ultra SRA victims you know and she learned from her mom the truth and now
1:39:47she’s gonna go apply it to the education system and see if she can kind of pave a way that other people aren’t you know and it’s like takes one person at a time to do something
1:39:56like that to where it becomes more people start looking outside their textbooks and saying what
1:40:02didn’t they teach me in school that I need to know it could take a lifetime you know for some
1:40:08people to get to that point I know I mean that’s so encouraging to know and you’re in but I have also seen up in Canada I mean I know of a couple of cases where some uh
1:40:28an MK Ultra Survivor got therapy in London Ontario which is a huge hub
1:40:35for MKUltra in Canada and yet you know people don’t seem to know it and she she’s got a a
1:40:42therapist to come to her house who was like you know supposed to be helping with her who
1:40:48completely denied her experience and by the end of the it caused her Kathy to to begin to doubt you
1:40:58know and start uh doubt her own memories because they’re very delicate these things you know these
1:41:04horrific childhood infants you know from infancy things are horrible she had some really horrible
1:41:11things happened to her and she’d been getting support from a group of Americans you know she’d
1:41:17gone to the conference at uh with um you know some I don’t know some of the really big names of you
1:41:23know 30 years ago the first people to expose this like Claudia Mullen and blonde shabusty and there
1:41:29were any other names she knew those people and they had supported her but once she was back in London Ontario this heavily psychiatrist Community I mean they have hospitals coming out of
1:41:41the psychiatrists coming out of the woodwork there and and she began calling me a conspiracy theorist
1:41:48you know after because she she just didn’t trust herself anymore she didn’t trust it and I was very
1:41:55you know that’s quite suppressing I don’t think we’re anywhere near where you are and count I
1:42:00think Canada is really backward in this you know so there’s definitely a long way to go you know
1:42:08and one person at a time and it might it might take Generations but at least we’re starting to see some counselors and there’s books being written you know and people caring
1:42:19and it’s like that makes me excited that in a you know a couple or a few Generations hopefully they have a lot more knowledge more widespread in mainstream than we have now
1:42:30yeah and look how I’m sure it’s changed your life you know and really opened and and probably didn’t
1:42:35take that long might have taken you a year or two to sort of or less even to take it in to begin to
1:42:41really get an an understanding you you have a lot you have a deep understanding of it I think
1:42:46it’s been so helpful getting to do this that was one thing like I wanted to start a podcast so I
1:42:52could have one spot where people could go to to meet people like you and to hear from Kathy
1:42:58O’Brien and to have like a library but one of the things that I didn’t realize was how beneficial
1:43:04it would be for me you know I’ve heard so many stories over the last two and a half years and it has like it was so hard for me to understand like I go back to some of my really
1:43:13early interviews and I had no idea how to respond to any of this stuff it just was so out of my my
1:43:19you know my Lane of thinking and it still is like I can’t fully comprehend it but I get it like I’ve
1:43:26gotten I understand the science behind it and I understand the motive behind it even if I don’t
1:43:33get how people can do it it’s like I see a big picture now of what the goal was and is and I
1:43:41could see it in the world being you know Amplified over the entire world instead of just you know
1:43:46at a college or in one spot they’re taking that information and now you know exploiting the public
1:43:52like you know so I think you know these stories really are helpful like it helps so much hearing
1:43:58from you and getting that breakdown of your experience so people like me can say oh and
1:44:05seems brilliant she doesn’t seem like a conspiracy theorist like she’s really smart and what she said makes sense you know and it kind of normalizes the conversation because it’s been unfortunately like
1:44:16MK Ultra you know it’s like how you said it’s not properly portrayed when you do hear about
1:44:21it it’s like this extreme you know way that it’s presented it doesn’t sound normal like it’s not a
1:44:30way it’s not like you know sitting in a classroom and hearing a teacher where somebody can take it in and say oh you know that sounds logical or it makes sense it’s it’s almost exploited in a way
1:44:39where people just write it off right away they’re like that’s too weird I don’t even want to look at it where if they listen to a podcast like this and just hear two people talking it doesn’t sound
1:44:48so crazy anymore when you just hear the stories and how it connects and you do research on the
1:44:54people you know somebody goes and researches the doctors that you talk about in the school and all
1:44:59of a sudden it’s like maybe that could happen like it doesn’t sound so crazy anymore you know
1:45:06Yeah the more we know I mean the more we know the less we know but I think when you hear someone’s
1:45:11story and when they can connect you know when they can connect it all chronologically and
1:45:17show there’s a logic to there’s like a it’s almost like it’s inevitable the way things
1:45:22developed you know they decided they wanted to you know control people’s minds and uh prepare
1:45:28people for a a future where war of where Warfare would be like everywhere that was I think you know
1:45:37bringing Warfare home to domestic populations and then oh well this how would you do it well I just
1:45:43went about doing it in all these you know taking all the people the populations and the people
1:45:49that they could get you know who had who were vulnerable who couldn’t protect themselves the children it just it’s just what you would do if you were a mad scientist with a with a lot
1:45:59of money military background and um not much no compassion or you know anyway absolutely yes and
1:46:12so I’m so grateful for you and all the work that you’ve done and you talked about your book I’d love for you to talk a little bit about your blog talk about some of the stuff that you’re working
1:46:20on and maybe um anything that you have coming up or just where people can can aside from your
1:46:27book where people can connect with you and see the work that you’ve been doing over the years um well I’m sort of working on new fresh blogs right now and they’re they’re sort of
1:46:36only semi-public I’m sort of doing them it’s like my place to write and I share with a few people
1:46:42and I have and one of the one of them is that is really I’m trying to finish my story about Leonard Cohen I I have a little Memoir that I published a few years ago called the man next
1:46:53door about Leonard Cohen and I just wanted to it really wasn’t finished but I felt like I want to
1:46:59put this out there that’s kind of how how it’s been I felt like someday I’ll complete this work
1:47:05but right now I don’t want to just be living in my own little world so that’s why I have a Blog so I can kind of you know there’s people that stumble in it or people that find it and
1:47:15and they learn bits and pieces of things and then sometimes I you know they write to me and
1:47:20um one of one of my blogs is called mother of Darkness I uh I’ll I’ll give you the URL for that
1:47:28um but that’s kind of been frozen now I I was um it seems like they’ve cracked down on it or
1:47:34something so I can’t add to it it’s kind of but it’s there’s a lot of material on it if
1:47:40you skim down and eventually I think I’ll just reorganize takes it take the the take it and
1:47:46put it in some other form but like stuff about Doctrine I have a few articles on Dr Mengele uh
1:47:54and also hit well Dr Mengele are coming to Quebec uh experimenting on children in Quebec you know
1:48:00of the famous the notorious the infamous Dr Joseph Mengele of Auschwitz Fame right
1:48:08um was it was taken was brought to America by the Vatican and one of the first places he came was
1:48:14Quebec because it was controlled so controlled by the Vatican and he yeah he probably worked briefly
1:48:21for McGill you know it’s all been hidden so I have that kind of material that’s some really great
1:48:27material on that blog but you have to kind of scroll through it and I I should be you know I I
1:48:33should be reorganizing it and putting it out there more um there’s some stuff online on that blog too
1:48:39things I found out about him is Cia connections you know the fact that he had a double I want this
1:48:46one of my favorite pieces now I’ve I stumbled on photos that show that in 1961 Leonard Cohen had a
1:48:53double an actor playing him and they were creating a some sort of alibi situation you know Leo same
1:49:02for Lee harveyor as well there were two Lee Harvey Oswald same era you know and uh CIA you know so I
1:49:11found I found proof that Leonard Cohen had a had a you know double yeah life basically well was you
1:49:20know yeah one on a Greek island and the other while he was in Cuba you know fighting Castro
1:49:28for the CIA so that sort of thing on that blog there’s really a lot of good information in there
1:49:35yeah I’ll send you the link maybe you could post it yeah absolutely yeah I’ll put it in
1:49:42the show notes for everybody and are you are you on social media at all when Facebook is
1:49:47and Diamond I can’t tell you the exact but you know and diamond on Facebook I’m one of
1:49:5327 of them or I don’t know how many now but um what’s I I also I’ll give you I’ll send you links
1:50:01um also I’m very involved in a uh I have a site that’s for survivors of these experiments
1:50:07mostly Montreal survivors um and we have there’s another site that I help sometimes
1:50:13help with called brainwashing victims of the Canadian government and so you know there’s
1:50:20um that’s a really good site someone someone is doing a great job of editing that right now
1:50:26and so I’ll send you those links to places where you can you know people can
1:50:32um yeah and book I have this book I have a few books and lulu.com is my bookstore okay
1:50:39and I’m happy to link that to you so people can go down I always say on the show you know we’re
1:50:44so conditioned as a society to just go throw money at non-profits and sure you can you know you can
1:50:50find a diamond in the rough non-profit that is doing good but more often than not the ones that
1:50:56we donate to you know they’re they’re paying their salaries and they’re not doing much with it and I
1:51:01always say go give directly to a Survivor purchase their work you know support their blog go follow
1:51:07them on social media like that’s a really good investment to do that because you know exactly where your money’s going it’s not funneled through a third party there’s no conditions that are being
1:51:17taken out I mean of course things like Amazon like they’re gonna take some money out but I mean ultimately like it’s going around Amazon yeah yeah and so I love when people go support
1:51:27and I love when people you know write me and say oh I went and bought Anne’s books you know and they changed my life so I really encourage people listening please please please please go support
1:51:37you know it’s so generous that Anne takes the time out to do something like this for free for us and
1:51:43she’s been doing free you know with her blog and everything and just speaking out for 20 years you
1:51:49know and she puts out a book and it has all the information in one spot that we could ever want and it’s it’s a really special thing to have something like that that you can have at home
1:51:58and it’s a great gift to give to maybe a friend who’s waking up you know to say I don’t know how
1:52:03to talk about this and I don’t feel qualified to but here’s a book for you to read that’s going to explain the stuff that I’ve discovered you know that I think you should know and it’s you know I
1:52:13think one person at a time you know if we start supporting survivor’s work and we start hiring survivors and we start you know reading their blogs and following their podcasts like then we
1:52:24start creating an industry and we we give you guys the resources to keep doing what you’re doing this stuff isn’t cheap even having a podcast you’re taking time out of your day right now you know
1:52:33all the the time that you take to write your blogs like you’re putting an offer free but there’s an
1:52:38expense on your end of time and energy so I think it’s beautiful when you create something that we can reciprocate and give you something back for it so I encourage everybody to go buy all
1:52:48of your stuff and to go support you and I’ll find you I’ll find the real Facebook for you and I’ll just link your direct Facebook in the bottom to you that way people can yeah foreign
1:53:00another thing I would say too though that I’ve been thinking about lately is that people people
1:53:13really need to come together around this whole subject it’s a history topic and there should
1:53:19be courses given out on it I don’t know if there are anywhere at universities or adult education
1:53:24centers or whatever you know so people could come together because when when I discovered
1:53:30this the world of MKUltra I I was ready to read day and night I was so riveted to it it
1:53:39explained everything and it helped some it was so helpful and also you know it answered yeah
1:53:45answered all kinds of questions and I felt like I hadn’t found a subject in years that had you know
1:53:51captured my attention the way this does and I’m it’s like I’ve never I’ve never found anything
1:53:57since except I kind of like the history of rock and roll interests me now the history of Music in
1:54:03my you know but but um that’s you know I we need I we should be studying these things in universities
1:54:12finding out about it does it happen to all of us I believe it’s not just a few survivors
1:54:18that had this happen the whole society really it’s a whole society yes it helps you you know
1:54:24it helps everybody pull themselves out of this you know manufactured reality and just be able to see the world for what it is and be able to just be more conscious instead of being you know just
1:54:34so robotic like how they want us and depressed and sad you know it’s like wait a minute I’m depressed
1:54:39and sad because my government and my TV are making me this way when I’m out in nature for five days
1:54:44without my phone I don’t even know anything’s wrong you know so it’s like we have to really
1:54:50realize that we the world is bad yes but it’s also very beautiful and we can create the world that we want together instead of just the coming to the world that they’ve created for us and saying
1:55:00I guess I’m just going to be depressed my whole life we can say wait a minute we’re going to come together and reclaim our world and we’re going to create beautiful you know blogs and podcasts
1:55:08and books and movies we’re gonna do it we’re not gonna depend on Hollywood and the government to do it we’re going to create the beautiful world that we want you know and and I think we’re we’re
1:55:17not there yet but the more people learn about MK Ultra I think that’s really what it does is it helps us it helps us reclaim our power back and helps us realize you know what we can do if we all
1:55:28come together versus being so divided like how they’ve wanted us to be yeah and the way we’ll
1:55:35learn is by finding out where we’ve been you know that’s how you find out how to create the future
1:55:40so anyway I encourage everyone listen to your show support survivors and support you I mean
1:55:50you it seems you’re doing an amazing job so I’m going to tell everyone about your show thank you thank you an honor to have you on you’re such a bright light and it’s
1:55:59so awesome to see your smiling face and to just get to actually meet you finally
1:56:05and likewise is there exposing thoughts that you have or anything that you want to say before we
1:56:12start closing up for the day I don’t know I feel sort of you’ve done a great job of wrapping it all
1:56:19up um I’ve talked a lot you know there’s always going to be more but I just hope that yeah I just
1:56:26keep doing what you’re doing and and and don’t don’t stop because I think this is the key to
1:56:33so much it’s like the key that we’re not will unlock all the secrets you know and we have it
1:56:39now yes we have to take our power back in we’ll do it yeah well I will link all of your stuff below
1:56:50and for people listening no matter what platform you’re on Spotify or apple or YouTube or [ __ ]
1:56:55you just go into the show notes really easy and then all the links should just highlight for you so you can literally just click it so please go support and get her book go follow her on
1:57:05social media I’ll have all of that linked below reach out to her tell her she’s amazing because she is and go support her let her know she’s loved and that we have eyes on her um and thank you guys
1:57:15for supporting this show you know it means the world to me I always say I didn’t realize when I
1:57:20started this that it would be just so impactful for me and then for a lot of you and it’s still
1:57:26such a little show but having all of your support means the world to me and I know it’s before it’s time and my hope is years down the road it’s a really valuable resource for people to learn
1:57:35about the world from people like Ann so please share this episode subscribe support us I’ll
1:57:40also have my links below so you guys can go follow me on social media and I really appreciate your guys’s support so with that being said Thank you guys God bless you and we will see you next week