Ann Diamond Emma Interview Transcript

Ann Diamond interviewed by Emma and transcript.

Ann Diamond interviewed by Emma

Links

[1] 2023 J S3E31 | Ann Diamond – ‘My Cold War’: Exposing MK Ultra, Encountering Leonard Cohen, & Healing Trauma

Transcript

good heavenly father today we put on the full  armor to protect us against attack we put on  

0:08the belt of Truth to protect against lies  and deception we put on the breastplate of   righteousness to protect our hearts from The  Temptations we put the gospel of peace on our  

0:18feet to walk in your light Peace and Freedom with  the Holy Spirit we rebuke anxious thoughts we take  

0:24up your Shield of faith for protection to block  and destroy all the darts and threats thrown at  

0:30us by the enemy we put on the helmet of salvation  to cover our minds and thoughts reminding us that  

0:35we are children of a mighty king we are forgiven  set free saved by the blood of Jesus we take up  

0:42the sword of the spirit your living word that has  the power to demolish strongholds in a sharper  

0:47than any double-edged sword we come to you Lord  in prayer daily and Jesus mighty name we pray amen  

0:54what’s up you guys welcome to the imagination  I’m your host Emma and this week I’m honored to  

1:00introduce to you someone that I was introduced  to recently through independent investigative  

1:05reporter and journalist Kathy Fox and someone  who has undoubtedly had a tremendous impact on  

1:12my own Journey learning about the hard truths  of the world introducing MK Ultra Survivor and  

1:17whistleblower blogger author writer educator  and selfless Advocate and Diamond an original  

1:24whistleblower of our time and was one of the first  to publicly whistleblow MK Ultra and has since  

1:29given a voice to countless victims encouraged  to countless survivors of government-sanctioned  

1:35abuse of all kinds and Story begins in the 1950s  in Canada where she was sold into the MK Ultra  

1:42projects as a child to prolific MKUltra programmer  Dr Donald Ewan Cameron of McGill University in  

1:50Anne’s words quote the story of MKUltra in Canada  has never been properly told it was a pan-canadian  

1:57phenomenon not limited to Montreal and Dr Cameron  in the early 60s much of what had been a McGill  

2:04University program was gradually transferred to  Toronto specifically to York University in an  

2:11emerging Counter Culture scene that became  a breeding ground for me for many Fabian   and Tavistock influence movements and programs  Saskatchewan was another Center for Mk Ultra mind  

2:21control about which very little has been written  unfortunately Canada’s publishing industry is  

2:27very much a product of that covert expansion of  MKUltra throughout Canada books like Ann Collins  

2:32the Sleep room presented a partial account but  failed to get at the roots in British Eugenics  

2:38and Nazi Psychiatry or hint at the vastness  of this program which was secretly promoted  

2:44at the highest levels of our establishment  unquote in this episode this week you guys  

2:49will hear Anne’s amazing testimony surrounding  MKUltra and her involvement in Project monarch   deep dives into some notable and suspicious  connections she had in her life including  

2:59Canadian singer songwriter poet and novelist  Leonard Cohen as well as some recent updates  

3:05and information from her personal life Anne’s  voice has been a crucial part of why podcasts like  

3:10mine are able to exist to begin with and I want to  give a special thank you to Ann for her courage to  

3:16continue forward after all these years so the  children of tomorrow can have a better future   than the children of the past and of today we are  so grateful for the work you’ve done to pave the  

3:25way to where we are today and so you guys without  further Ado please help me in welcoming walking  

3:30Miracle whistleblower Overcomer and all-around  inspiration the one the only and diamond and  

3:37thank you so much for being here with me today wow  I’m flabbergasted I almost finished it was great

3:46I love writing the intros it’s so nice  to finally meet you like I said you had  

3:55such a big impact on me when I was waking up  from my Slumber with you know learning about  

4:00the world and it’s such an honor to finally  have you on and I know a lot of people that  

4:06listen they might be a little bit newer  to your story and that’s that’s awesome   because we’re gonna dive into it today but I  wanted to say how how awesome is it now that  

4:17people are finally interested in this for  you I mean I can’t imagine what it was like   in the early 2000s trying to talk about this  you know it that has to feel so good for you  

4:26yeah I think something’s changed for sure  certainly nobody was asking me to do podcasts  

4:32or and I couldn’t even get anyone to read my book  you know and you know and the other another thing  

4:39I remember about that time was that when I  started when I would talk about it to people   who were you know who said what are you writing  about and what what is this story I would uh Shake  

4:50it was so um so it was so intense to me that  my voice would change and I I’d start to just  

4:58kind of shake you know vibrate and um I thought  you know I’m not really I don’t think I’m ready  

5:04for it you know to go out of the house for this  because it’s so intense and also when you have  

5:11the feeling that nobody knows what you’re talking  about and therefore nobody will believe you it  

5:16just adds another layer to the you know some of it  is just is just going through trauma it’s reliving  

5:22trauma as you remember and try to talk about it  and some of it is knowing that there’s nobody  

5:28you know no one will understand except other  survivors who who were out there at that time   I was not the first one or anything I had people  like Carol rutz you know and and uh Kathy O’Brien  

5:40of course sent out so many Lynn Sharman you  know in in Ontario and so yeah yeah but it has  

5:49it has really broadened now and it seems to be  something you can actually talk about voice yes

5:59sorry yeah I said and you have people like you who  are writing blogs and books and people like Kathy  

6:04O’Brien who have a film and I think one person at  a time just over the years it’s getting out there  

6:10to more and more people and they’re finding you  more easy you know and I gosh back in the early  

6:152000s trying to figure out you know where other  survivors are I mean that had to have been a whole   different world it’s hard now to research stuff  and we have everything at our disposal that had  

6:25to have been just a really neat process for you  over the years to just see the difference now  

6:30versus how it was then yeah I hope that’s true  because I know that when I started and it was in  

6:372003 really that I really started and I would read  for like 10 12 hours a day sometimes because there  

6:44was a lot on the internet but it was It was kind  of you could find whole documents you could find  

6:51um conference papers uh you know transcripts  from all kinds of stuff was there I’m not sure  

7:00some of that hasn’t been taken down now because  I don’t right now I don’t go back I don’t go back   and review at all I mean I I took it all in at the  time but I hope that what I hope it’s true I mean  

7:12I think it it has become more General I hope  they’re not deleting and erasing the evidence  

7:19that’s something that everyone worries about you  know absolutely yes but that’s why voices like  

7:26yours is so important because you are the evidence  you know and you have that information within you  

7:31within your mind and in your heart that you can  express to people and they don’t need articles   now you know and I love that yeah maybe that’s  true and so let’s get into your story a little  

7:43bit let’s maybe start either you could start at  the beginning or wherever you want but I’d love   to paint the picture for people your testimony is  incredible and like I said you’ve been speaking  

7:52out about it um for decades now so I’d love for  you to share with people who might be newer um  

7:58and we can start wherever you want and just kind  of flow through and I’ll give you space to talk   okay and you and feel free to interrupt me because  I can go on and on okay I’m sure I’ll have some  

8:09questions it’s much harder to write a whole book  than it is easier to write a book than it is to  

8:15write a little blurb in many ways you know so  you just didn’t feel free to interrupt because   but I guess I would start just by saying that  that I was born in Montreal Canada province of  

8:28Quebec uh French Canadian Catholic um province  of Canada with it with a lot of control by the  

8:37Vatican the Catholic Church on the population  here and I had an English Canadian Scottish  

8:43Canadian father and a French Canadian mother my  father was Protestant and spoke only English my  

8:49mother was French French Canadian was Catholic and  spoke French and English because anyway that’s how  

8:57it was then so I grew up with a twin brother in  Montreal during the Cold War born in 1951 and  

9:04it happened to be the same year that the first  uh Conference was held in Montreal at the Ritz  

9:13Carlton Hotel that brought together the basically  the troops the the big players who would go on to  

9:22be the to start the mkl tour program and that was  in August I think 1951. so you and Cameron was  

9:31there but Alan Dulles and all you know CIA head of  the CIA and all kinds of military people people in  

9:38um Information Technology at the time uh  medicine Psychiatry and they just brought  

9:45together all these experts cybernetics was I  think starting then too you know so they had and  

9:52um and they and they put them in this hotel and  had a conference and they basically planned the  

9:59cold well the post-war period of the Cold War had  already started and how they were going to use new  

10:06forms new kinds of weapons involving human beings  like human um what is it just the human mind would  

10:16become the new Battlefield that’s what they the  kind of thing they were talking about at that   time and uh so they chose I believe they chose  Quebec because it was isolated very fascistic very  

10:29controlled from the top down very obedient people  very religious and with and also because there was  

10:36a huge population of babies born after the war uh  two unwed mothers because the soldiers coming and  

10:44going during the war so they had everything  they needed to start a project here and I uh  

10:53since I was born that same year it took  a it took another few years but by 1955  

10:59basically my father had agreed to put my twin  brother and me in the uh project at McGill which  

11:07was running with the famous notorious Dr Cameron  at the head of it and he was directly in you know  

11:14working with Alan Dulles you know in Washington  and and the uh and you’ve heard of Sid Gotti you  

11:21know they had started the in 53 they started  the mkl2 program and the other thing that was  

11:27hap that had happened in Quebec in 1953 was  the there were hundreds of thousands a hundred  

11:32thousand duplessly orphans they called them  the orphans that were born to unwed mothers  

11:37who were who had been put in orphanages  after the war because you couldn’t be a   single mother easily or at all in those days and  so they had a population of disposable children  

11:49so it was a great place to bring together a  secret enormous secret project and and that’s  

11:59um you know most people living here have  never heard of any of this many people  

12:05even now don’t know that this happened they  don’t know what they were that you know many  

12:11people had relatives who were part of it and  they they are really still living in a state of   ignorance about it so I’m a product I was a child  who was chosen for the program a more privileged  

12:24than the orphans because I had my mother and  a father and I I was home living at home and  

12:30and also my father was a professional he was a  music teacher in high school so it gave him gave  

12:36us a little more status than some people so I was  put into a program at McGill with gifted children  

12:44supposedly yeah I had a high IQ my brother also  and my brother was very Musical and um and so  

12:51we were placed in this special program and my  parents believing that they were but this was  

12:58something wonderful that had been offered to us  because we were very lucky and and special and so  

13:03they didn’t catch on for a long time and so your  parents you didn’t you weren’t in a generational  

13:10family in the sense that your parents had gone  through this they they were basically coerced into  

13:16thinking you were a gifted child and that they  were going to to pay basically for a great future  

13:22for you you’d get special education and you know  be around kids like you and it wasn’t like that  

13:30exactly that’s the difference I think if you have  you’ve had other survivors on who were definitely  

13:35they came out of generational they even say  generational satanic Bloodlines to I don’t  

13:40think so I mean it’s very it’s hard to find these  things out but I have no uh none of those kinds of  

13:47memories about my parents and I have been told my  parents were just basically decent people who go  

13:53who were who were tricked or a coerced there was  some black male involved because of my father’s  

14:00military background and there was something  going on he was an Air Force intelligence and  

14:05I think pressure was a lot of pressure was put  on him so it it was more yeah I think I think my  

14:12family are different from some of the other it’s  making me different from some of the others if I   was maybe two um I’m not sure how you know maybe  more maybe I’m more naive you know and less aware  

14:24of certain things or I don’t know or maybe I was  spared some of the stuff that they went through  

14:31I feel I witnessed some pretty horrific things  but I’m I don’t that’s all I know I I have amnesia  

14:38walls too and I admit that I I still have them  but I’m I’m working with it you know so instead of  

14:47good is that a good place to start yeah that’s I  appreciate that I think you know everybody’s story  

14:53is so different and I think the commonalities are  what help make people understand that oh my gosh  

14:59how how is Anne’s you know experience so similar  to Kathy O’Brien’s which is so similar to this  

15:05person over in the UK and then this person over in  Ireland you know the commonalities validate it but  

15:12it happens so many different ways that it’s very  hard to almost you know comprehend and so I love  

15:18the differences and being able to talk about that  too because it helps people in real life you know  

15:24have empathy for people and to always think what  could this person in front of me have possibly   gone through you know because this could be  anybody it doesn’t have to be a generational  

15:32family it could be a great family who’s trying  to do something good for their children you know  

15:37just normal family didn’t have any of this in the  background and they make you know a big mistake  

15:42and don’t realize it you know maybe ever and so  I I love you know your story brings awareness  

15:48to the other side of it which I think parents that  that say why I’m not generational that could never  

15:53happen to me or my kids and it’s like no this can  happen to anybody anybody yeah I I totally agree  

16:01with you and understanding all the different yeah  the different circumstances that we’re operating   and how that I don’t know I guess how that also  helps people how it helps keep it secret because  

16:12people don’t talk you’re not part of the you know  the same middle years sometimes they’re living  

16:18different realities man I just thought of myself  I thought of myself as having an idyllic childhood  

16:24that’s I had a problem I wanted to when I got  older I wanted to be writing fiction you know  

16:30and they always and they say well you have to  be able to remember your childhood to write   your first novel and I didn’t all I remembered  were these lovely scenes you know in the country  

16:39swimming on the beach with my cousins boating  you know hot dogs you know a hot dog hamburger  

16:46roasts and playing hide and seek and those are my  memories they were so Bland but behind that those  

16:53were behind us memories which were real there was  a whole thing going on you know I was being taken  

17:00out of school in in first and second grade I was  being taken downtown I was in the mental hospital  

17:07um you know this is what I figured my school  records show that I was absent half the year  

17:12and suppose they had all these illnesses but I  had a few I had mom’s measles and so on but that  

17:18doesn’t account for 100 days missing exactly  100 days on my report card and later in life  

17:25I met people who remembered me from McGill as  you know as they said I knew Miguel I said I  

17:31never went to Miguel I didn’t go to Miguel but  I was a kid at a hospital that was owned and  

17:39operated by McGill University and which was  recruiting you know kids for this for this  

17:44military program so they remembered me sometimes  and I would just you know I was too little  

17:51to to Really form memories I think for the older  older kids they they had like a social existence  

18:00too and they also had you know stronger brains  basically more developed brains so as a child  

18:05that they would they would give the little  kids LSD and it would just swipe them out they   wouldn’t have any memory of having been through an  experiment you know or a party with a lot of weird  

18:18sadistic stuff going on you know and that kind  of stuff it’s come back to me in different ways  

18:24so let’s let’s dive into that a little bit  I know around age three and a half four  

18:30um was when you were allegedly diagnosed with  pneumonia and I know that that was one of your  

18:36earlier memories of this let’s maybe talk  about like how what you experienced going  

18:41into this this program versus what they  told your parents you’d be participating in  

18:48right well I think that was just a pneumonia I  think I actually had pneumonia or I had a very   severe cold and it was freezing it was January in  Montreal and what I I have a very vivid memory and  

18:59I’ve had it all my life of of being taken in a on  a stretcher out of the apartment building down the  

19:06walk and into a waiting ambulance and everything  you know drifts the snow drifts and everything’s  

19:11frozen and they put me in the ambulance and they  closed the door and once I’m in the ambulance I’m  

19:17looking up at the attendant and he puts a mask  over my face and it stinks it stinks of ether  

19:24I mean I know the smell of ether I was three  and a half it was not oxygen so I pulled it off  

19:31and he was not an Iceman at all he gave me a you  know and he just forced it onto my face again I  

19:37have an absolutely clear memory of that you know  that I’ve always had and um next thing I know I  

19:42woke up in a award I and I think I was strapped  to the bed and there were other children around  

19:49but then it’s very vague it’s very and I have and  then I have a kind of a memory of my of my mother  

19:55coming to see me and um being very nervous and  very frightened and I have all the other memory I  

20:02have is I pooed in the bed at some point so there  was this you know black turd lying beside me on  

20:08this on the white sheet when I woke up and I went  oh no and a nurse came and she was you know she  

20:15wasn’t very happy and she but I have I’ve always  had that memory that’s um but my mother came and  

20:21wanted to know what was happening and they told  her some of this is me being told later they told  

20:28her that I had almost died and therefore she  couldn’t see me she couldn’t take me home and   that’s why I didn’t recognize her but um what I’ve  learned since or what I what I believe because  

20:40I’ve seen a file an emptied file nevertheless  my Psychiatry file from 1955 to my conscious  

20:48knowledge in life I’ve never seen a psychiatrist  and no one ever said we send you to it we sent  

20:53you to a psychiatrist when you were four years old  you had you know you were saying never I have no  

20:59it’s blank completely gone but I had apparently  a file that was quite thick I could tell by the  

21:05folder 1955 four years old and this had to be  Dr Cameron’s LSD experiments at McGill because  

21:16there was no children’s Ward there it was an  illegal secret project there should not have  

21:22been any children at all in that hospital there  was a children’s hospital for children and I  

21:27was told that you you know you cannot have  a file here from 1955 because there were no   children here but then they found the file  said Psychiatry you see so there’s is it’s  

21:37been this it’s a convoluted process for me  of finding out my parents I think always just  

21:43I I think they they had suspicions doubts  fears that the psychiatrists then worked at  

21:49calming and coming up with explanations for  so they were always had you know a carrot  

21:56you know carrot and stick kind of situation  that there’s something coming for your daughter  

22:02there’s something good that’s going to happen  so just you know just trust us basically and  

22:08they would make up explanations and so into  things so just so if that gives an idea I mean  

22:14um my my mother had to know that I was  seeing psychiatrists but she was probably   I’m guessing now she’s been dead for 30  what 40 years so I could never ask her but  

22:26um it must have been just a pace of trusting  the doctors and if they said don’t tell your   daughter because that that will ruin the program  you know what we’re doing for her then she would  

22:36have gone along she wouldn’t have you know  she would have obeyed their instructions  

22:42so I I grew up in a yeah I I was half in half out  of school with living a double life as far as I  

22:50can tell and making friends downtown that I met  you know down at McGill who I met like when I was  

22:55in my 20s then they came up again they had you  know they were and even recognized me sometimes  

23:03oh my gosh that had been wild for you it’s  a whole it’s a whole situation I don’t know  

23:09whether this exists it probably did exist in other  situations in other cities but it seems like it  

23:15was an engineered program in Montreal and a lot  of it had to do with the Arts entertainment music  

23:24and creating this a population of uh  creators and media people who would  

23:31then be part of the future you know program  basically brainwashing the population through  

23:40a core population that that they  started with in when they were children  

23:48that sort of make sense though doesn’t it yeah  and it sounds like a testing ground almost yeah  

23:55and then people were chosen for their own  you know the crew I mean I found it very   easy in the beginning in my 20s to just get  things published and be just find you know  

24:08I was I was being encouraged rather than most  people are discouraged from doing those kinds   of things but I was getting encouraged I was I  was getting encouragement I was getting people  

24:17mentoring me I had people coming along it all  just seemed so natural magical normal in a way  

24:24but coincidental too and now I see well you know  there was much more to the there were other people  

24:31you know also having the same things happen they  had been chosen basically talk a little bit about  

24:38Dr Cameron and McGill University um and the  programs that they were running because I  

24:44I think to Canada like you said it doesn’t get  you know recognized as much as maybe the United  

24:50States or some other hot spots for this but this  was a really big deal what they were doing and I   know that they weren’t the only school but I know  that you know Dr Cameron he was you know kind of  

25:00a big deal back then in these programs and he’s a  name probably a lot of people have never heard of  

25:05I’d love for you to to just give some context  to that and you know what were they working   on and what was their goal there and you know  what do you remember from the program right um

25:18um what I remember of the program is a kind of  a patchwork of things I don’t maybe I’ll get  

25:23to after but um Dr Cameron was a scottish-born  American psychiatrist he trained in Switzerland  

25:32and then he uh came to Canada ran a program at  a hospital and then he went to Massachusetts  

25:38too and then he um and then I think then he came  to Montreal but he always had contacts in Albany  

25:45New York right so he um that’s where he right  after the war met with Alan Dulles the CIA OSS  

25:58hand at the time who who uh hired him to go to  Nuremberg to the trials of the uh of Nazi war  

26:08criminals right and there was one in particular  Rudolf Hess who had who’s a Defector and then  

26:14people may know the story they may not but  Hess had uh Hess had been very close to Hitler  

26:19and been very high up in the Nazi in the SS and  then he just defected and he flew to England so  

26:25they’d had him in Spandau no Spandau was Germany I  guess but they had him in a prison in Scotland for  

26:34um you know for the rest of the after  I don’t know a couple of years during   the war and then in 45 they brought  him back to Germany to try him for  

26:41war crimes but they wanted because  he was a Defector and possibly a spy  

26:47you know working with um who knows could have  been working for British intelligence too or  

26:53he’d be working with the Nazis then they didn’t  know they probably knew but they they wanted to  

26:58make sure he made the right impression at the  trial so they got two psychiatrists from um New  

27:04York well and one of them was Dr Cameron Dr you  and Cameron at the time and the other one was uh  

27:10Nolan Lewis Dr Nolan D.C Lewis and he was he was  head of the New York Institute of Psychiatry and  

27:18they got these two guys and they sent them over to  to um Nuremberg in Germany and had them interview  

27:25has but now what people say is it’s like when  they brainwashed him they wiped his memory  

27:33so that when he was on trial and he was confronted  with people he’d worked with in the U in the SS he  

27:40didn’t recognize them he didn’t know his former  colleagues he just didn’t know them his mind  

27:45but they they had to CL his mind was in many  ways gone I mean he his memory was gone they  

27:51had selectively deleted memories which they  were able to do then and um and so yeah so he  

28:01he I guess he didn’t incriminate himself or  you know he said what they wanted him to say  

28:06so that’s how the trial played out and then they  uh that was a big success but they had those  

28:12methods already you know they knew how to do very  sophisticated uh brainwashing selective memories  

28:23because some of his memories were still intact  so right and so then Cameron came back to uh  

28:32by that point he was the head of the Allen  Memorial Institute of Montreal which had   been set up in 1943 and he started using these  techniques on patients at the Allen Memorial so  

28:43the Montreal experiments that started around 19  you know 43 44 and they were really tied in with  

28:51um nasty Germany techniques they were using in  the concentration camp some people trauma-based  

28:57mind control right on concentration camp prisoners  and children mangle this Clinic you know he used  

29:05to brainwash children using trauma so Carmen had  learned out he had all those files that they’d  

29:11gotten from the Nazis and he started deploying  that uh those techniques in Montreal on people  

29:18just old ladies and young people and all kinds  of people who went in there with with problems or  

29:25people who weren’t getting on with their families  or whatever and their family sent them to to get   treated so that’s where that’s where a lot of  this um a lot of this began he got a lot of  

29:36experience from from just having access to people  to innocent you know Canadians it’s that’s that’s  

29:45how that that’s Dr Cameron they call it the worst  the biggest the largest the worst uh you know uh  

29:54uh human experimentation program that has ever  existed anywhere ever been done on any population  

30:01the largest in history you know it’s so if people  haven’t heard of it it’s not because it’s not for  

30:06lack of you know trying or anything I mean it  really but it’s probably because there is always  

30:12um yeah there’s Canada is always kind  of kept in a it’s sort of in a separate  

30:18place a separate category separate  population and I think that’s also why  

30:25um they chose Montreal because it was isolated  and no one would you know no one would think  

30:31things like that could go on here and so it’s  been kept a secret for Generations that’s  

30:39so you can see why people don’t want  to believe it because it does it sounds  

30:44crazy you know and I think one of the  things to you over generations of time  

30:49our own Divinity in the supernatural abilities  that we are given at Birth are hidden from us you  

30:57know we’re taught a very cut and dry curriculum  of you have five senses you know uh telepathy is  

31:05fake and all of these things are fake and this is  just what a human is it’s a it’s a you’re a lame  

31:10thing you know and you’re gonna be depressed  your whole life we’re gonna work you we’re   going to stress you out and so like we lose that  within ourselves and that’s the thing that to me  

31:18is really important to learn about these programs  is there’s people that know how sophisticated our  

31:24software is as a human and what we are god-given  born ability is that we were born with and they’re  

31:30exploiting them while hiding it from the public  you know and they’re using children especially   they’re so vulnerable and open to all the magic  in the world you know and and they’re being  

31:39exploited for it you know and so I think that  this is it’s important I think this conversation  

31:47it’s really sad to think about what is being  done and how they’re exploiting on the other  

31:52hand learning about it empowers us to say gosh  we’re amazing humans are incredible what we’re  

32:00capable of overcoming what our bodies are capable  of doing how pliable we are like just because  

32:05we have trauma inside doesn’t mean that we can’t  heal we can heal miraculously if we learn how our  

32:11brains are wired and how our bodies work how they  work together and that’s the thing I think your  

32:17story paints a lot of is how you know the gifted  and talented program and showing how these gifts  

32:23are specifically sought out and exploited and then  they’re not told to people that aren’t in them  

32:31that’s so so true and you put that so well yeah  and that’s absolutely I think that’s maybe the the  

32:41the deepest truth we can pull out of this  experience is that or out of this history  

32:48um is exactly what you’ve said it’s that um  the and and it’s it’s exemplified by this  

32:53gifted Children’s Program they chose kids  um some of them they were chosen because   they were psychic had sidekick abilities  and they which they you know tested for I  

33:02mean the scientists knew what they were  testing for and uh ESP was a big thing  

33:08that they uh they were interested in  because they were looking for remote viewing   abilities you know to use for the military but all  of it of course like you say it was all they they  

33:17chose those kids and they had a military they had  a really kind of crass military um uh uh agenda  

33:27behind it but the what the children had were  god-given gifts that Society the churches were in  

33:35the process of repressing too so you know have you  been told I mean I’m a Christian I’m sure you are  

33:42too but you know I’ve been told by many Christians  that to explore those kinds of things is satanic  

33:50and uh you must never and as a result  I think I’ve I know I’ve listened to  

33:55that and I’ve been very careful and I’ve kept  you know I but but at the same time I think I  

34:00think there’s something there’s some truth in  what they say you can be swept away by forces  

34:06you don’t understand there are spiritual forces  out there they’re very dark possibly forces but  

34:14and that’s what Satan is all about and that’s why  people join Cults I guess but they also join Cults  

34:21because they want to expand their you know just  kind of expand as children of light too so you  

34:26have this whole dichotomy that they play with all  the time and they manipulate us and they try to   terrorize us and people separating into groups  saying oh you know bad over there those people  

34:36are bad and you know I I’ve had quite a bit of  it too yeah well I’m sure yeah or just this is  

34:44fake and this is a conspiracy and it’s like again  people have to dive into these things and explore  

34:50them but to just outright deny that these things  exist we have no idea as a society how to defend  

34:56ourselves against any Warfare that comes against  us or how to see it when it’s right in front of us   or how to even understand you know a crime as big  as human trafficking happening all over the world  

35:06and MK Ultra you know because they’ve shut all  that off and just thrown it off to the side and  

35:12they’ve ripped it from education and you know it’s  I think it’s really important like I said just  

35:18understanding what they were looking for and what  they know exists helps us understand how amazing  

35:25we are as humans and how how powerful we can be if  we all come together the same way that they have  

35:32yeah and take back the control and that was  you know I guess the the results of science I   mean well observation you know if you live in the  world long enough and you want in your involvement  

35:41enough uh crazy stuff like a war for example you  will you will see those abilities coming out of  

35:48people and those and those could pass you know  the capacity to that you will learn those things   as a soldier probably very likely I haven’t been  a soldier but that’s why the Air Force was just  

35:59you know the Air Force was very involved in this  research Eros you know going into Aerospace after  

36:07the war um getting children for Aerospace because  sitting up uh uh psychic children who for a  

36:16distant early Warning Systems there were children  taken up north in Canada children taken off  

36:23um Native reservations and kept in uh facilities  where they were trained because they had these  

36:30they had these gifts that seemed to be genetic  too partly and very strong in their culture and  

36:37they were used in in you know as almost like human  radar um little kids right but then later you know  

36:45mkl2 you will talk to people and people who are  like the spokespeople for it will say oh no but  

36:51it didn’t work it was just a waste of time and  money MK Ultra was a complete failure and you  

36:58know nothing is being hidden because they didn’t  find anything they didn’t you know none of these  

37:03experiments were real like you said they will they  will pretend it was fake when it was very real  

37:10you know yeah they gasped us sorry they  Gaslight us we Gaslight us constantly yeah  

37:19and we’re all I always say we’re in an  abusive relationship with the government   you know really and they keep coming back  and doing it over and over and we keep I know  

37:30I know it’s wild but that’s why I always  say survivors are you know everybody out  

37:36there is there’s people listening to survivors  of course like people on the show but for the   most part everybody’s turning on their TV and  idolizing these political influencers and these  

37:45politicians and getting their news from them  and it’s like you guys we have to listen to   the people who are being silenced and the people  who aren’t on the news we need to come to like you  

37:55you and other survivors you all have the most  important stories because you have the answers  

38:00to all the questions that everybody’s asking and  then looking at the news to try to find the answer  

38:05the news is nothing but lies no it’s just  complete you know it’s just a complete game of  

38:12deception cause I can’t believe but people do you  know people are still being influenced by it I  

38:18guess they are your world gets very narrow when  you’re someone like me in a way you know it gets  

38:23narrow because it is not that much out there you  can really relate to that doesn’t make you angry  

38:30or you know just at odds with so many people but  as I say the more of a the more the merrier the  

38:39more of us there are the more we talk the more  podcasts like this you know then that’s going to  

38:45change I mean yeah we can have a conversation at  least you know absolutely yes and it’s beautiful  

38:52you know it’s so neat like how else would I have  ever met you you know without the internet and  

38:57without other people that can bridge that  gap of connecting it’s really neat kind of   how this whole spider web it’s this community is  becoming smaller too and that’s also what they  

39:07don’t want they don’t want people like me and  you meeting they don’t want you meeting other   survivors they don’t want podcasters bringing  you on to tell your story but it’s happening  

39:17happening and and I really see the audience  growing I mean yeah that’s they see that  

39:22too I think that scares them but oh well  we’re coming whether they want it or not

39:32so let’s go back to you let’s talk about what were  you specifically used for in these programs and  

39:38then how long did that go for in your life and  what kind of happened to transition out of that

39:45well that’s interesting um um that I fairly  recently I’ve been I have at least um a story  

39:58about it and it and I’ll just say I mean it  seems to involve music which is natural because  

40:05my father was a musician and a music teacher and  had been involved with some Jazz the Jazz scene uh  

40:14which was quite well developed in my very it was  a big Jazz Center in the war and so some big stars  

40:20came out of Montreal like um Maynard Ferguson  and Oscar Peterson okay my father knew them  

40:26although he was not if he was you know not a  great musician or anybody who played in a band and  

40:31so I I think it’s just natural that I would  have been I would have been streamed my  

40:36brother was musical too um into into some sort  of program where I would do I was at least with  

40:43uh around music because that’s been my life  I don’t really play well I don’t I sing a bit  

40:49but you know I don’t I’ve never really  developed musically I haven’t become a  

40:55musician in any way but I’ve always been  around musicians so I think as a child  

41:01I was put in a program where there were some  future rock stars this is what I think that’s  

41:07kind of catchy too people probably but I think  it’s I think it is um what happened and and  

41:14um and they were training Dr Cameron believed  that rock music by the time by about 1960 he  

41:22was saying this I think rock and roll was way too  was um a way to spread mental illness to a society  

41:30rock rock music was I mean you know the people of  his Dem generation would have looked at you know  

41:36uh I don’t know uh Eddie Cochran I just you know  uh Chuck Berry over the release of Fats Domino and  

41:43said well these people are abnormal you know look  how they Elvis Presley main mainly you know look  

41:50how that that person’s behaving this is completely  like animalistic and these people are sick but  

41:57their goal in many ways was to make was to kind  of break down society and make people create kind  

42:04of a chaotic um world that they could then take  control of order out of chaos so so they they saw  

42:12rock and roll as a as a way to channel mental  illness and you would choose people who were  

42:18mentally ill and they would claim their music  and then the audiences would go crazy and they  

42:23were and they did go I mean look at the girls  screaming at the Beatles and Elvis and so and  

42:29all those you know that Trend in the 50s and so  on they watched it and they thought how can we you  

42:34know we’re going to use this plus they were they  had developed uh forms of uh electronic you know  

42:41um signals through music they’re you know they’re  really the the rock the music industry was taken  

42:47over by the military in the mid 50s pretty much  especially maybe in England and you know Emi  

42:53Studios which had the Beatles and the stones and  all the big you know they were recording all the   big bands and all the big groups um that Emi was  the name of was the label it stands for electronic  

43:04music Incorporated and it was an Air Force it was  an extension of the Air Force and of Chavez stock  

43:10right the Tavistock Institute was also involved in  that so they really had an idea that we can’t they  

43:16were using sound to program children’s brains and  they did that on military bases they probably did  

43:22it to me they probably I know they were doing  it you know around Montreal to to Children  

43:28um and it’s basically to see what you could do  with sound to someone to change someone’s brain   waves and so that that absolutely was part of  what rock and roll was intended to be was just  

43:39a form of you know Mass entrainment and so at  McGill in 1956 I I’m fairly sure that I was  

43:52um that there were kids brought over  from England who later went on to become  

43:58uh rock stars and they were at the party that  that I attended when I was five years old  

44:07and and my father being a music teacher and  being still having kind of fairly senior you  

44:14know in his and uh we were well established and  up to a point um and my mother having sort of  

44:21French Canadian political I thought my mother was  from the French Canadian Elite and she had she in  

44:27her youth she really looked like a movie star  so I think there was I think that’s what I was  

44:35chosen for they there was the the idea  that I would go on I would become part of  

44:40the scene that they were in the process  of creating over mostly in England right  

44:46in London Tavistock Institute you know about that  right you know about that Institute so they were  

44:52involved in all kinds of cultural stuff and music  and so on um and I would find find my way into  

44:58that possibly as a model or maybe is a groupie  or something or I don’t know what you know maybe  

45:06um uh I was being groomed in some way  but I think when I was about 12 I blew it  

45:14yeah and and I think my father also got in  into the act and realized that what was going  

45:22on was basically a kind of child trafficking  sexual programming of me right and and that a  

45:30grooming for something that he that his own  morality right his own ethics were against  

45:37and rock and roll he certainly you know he was he  um he didn’t want his daughter to marry a rolling  

45:45stone that was the big thing at the time you  know and would you let your daughter marry a   rolling stone because the the those groups  those bands were just totally overthrowing  

45:55uh traditional morality so parents were appalled  by you know the music and so on so that I think  

46:02was the cutoff point for me and after that  I think it put me into kind of a different  

46:09um stream where they were grooming me to have some  kind of career at the United Nations probably you  

46:14know administrative something boring you know and  and so I was put in a I was moved to a different  

46:21school I had a whole set of different friends  that wasn’t about music anymore it wasn’t it   was just very like I became a prefect at school  and I was like editor of the newspaper and that  

46:33kind of that kind of stuff but I was like  being groomed for some sort of intellectual   you know and um and so that’s in an I think  in a nutshell that’s what happened to me  

46:46was that you know but originally it was going to  be music and I think they flew me to London in  

46:511963 just as the Rolling Stones were at you know  and we’re launching their first record and I think  

46:58I was there for that I have a I have a recovered  memory of it you know so it’s kind of died I find  

47:05that kind of exciting to remember that now to  have flashbacks and to you know and even having  

47:11conversations about it with people who were there  but but um I didn’t I it’s recent it’s recent for  

47:18me to even be able to remember some of this stuff  and um uh you know anyway that’s the yeah I’m I’m  

47:26sort of you know there’s no it’s not all bad in  my opinion because I don’t think rock and roll  

47:32really was bad I think rock and roll actually was  liberating for us and I think it I think it worked  

47:37against the program as much as it did program  people it also made people awake and critical  

47:46and so I I don’t know I think it’s just it’s  this um story of several Generations I don’t  

47:54know how it is for your Generation Now with music  and what is happening coming to you through music   or what music you listen to but you know I think  um that’s I think that’s what happened to me  

48:05back in the 60s right well that’s interesting too  because you know frequency that’s another thing  

48:10that people kind of keep out of the way and it’s  such a big thing that they use against us you know  

48:16music has been changed dramatically all genres  from the frequency that it’s broadcasted to the  

48:23words that they say to the harmonics you know  music used to be these you know beautiful like  

48:28Beethoven compositions and just layers of music  you know and now it’s you know all auto-tuned and  

48:35it’s you know it is in a lot of ways satanic like  what is you know being broadcast and mainstream  

48:40you know it seems to be yeah but that’s it’s  fascinating that you say that because you know  

48:46that’s been something I think especially the  last couple years that people have become more   aware of is the Hollywood model and looking  at it with a critical eye finally and saying  

48:55what is happening on the screen right now like  this is weird you know what why are people dressed  

49:01as Devils and you know why is why are celebrities  walking out in Blood and you know talking about  

49:06these things like that’s very it’s become very  obvious now to people and it’s finally getting   attention but I think the whole music industry  like you said you know they’ve inverted music so  

49:16much to where they use those frequencies against  us and it puts us as humans in a low frequency  

49:22you know when you think about rock music I  think some rock music can almost be popish  

49:27you know but then you have like the heavy metal  that branched off from rock music which is you  

49:33know extremely toxic and like you said getting  a reaction you go to a concert and people are   mosh pitting there’s people that have died of  those concerts you know it’s like they just  

49:42constantly are trying to push the boundaries on  like what raises frequency and then what lowers   it and how do we control people using those  different Dynamics you know you’re right it’s  

49:52it’s so multifaceted too you know there’s so many  sides to it I mean I I read somewhere I mean heard  

50:01that in 1972 that’s when the rock music  industry completely switched over to satanism  

50:07some people say that I mean they say that’s  when the the the new bands coming in had to  

50:13sign contracts or or they also when they began  taking uh screams recorded screams of children  

50:20being tortured and underground bases and so  on and they began you know adding it how do  

50:25you call that you know subliminals putting it  into the music of subliminals all of that took  

50:31off in 1972 was the cutoff date so um you know  I don’t know I lost interest in music after 1972  

50:40but that was just because I was in my I I was  just at an age where you’re not that interested   after in your 20s it’s not like when you’re 14  you know you’re you’re riveted to music you’re  

50:49being really you know you’re really vulnerable to  all to to all of it but by the time set night was  

50:551972 I was 21 and I was I was kind of in the  you know not interested I was so so they but  

51:02anyway I I think it’s just gotten much worse much  more sophisticated um and yet there’s great music  

51:10I mean if you kind of listen out there there’s all  kinds of wonderful music it’s playing even on you  

51:16know I used to keep my radio on a few years  ago and I mean I would hear great things but  

51:22um some of it was from other countries other  cultures that didn’t have French the French  

51:28didn’t have this you know and in Montreal I could  tune into French stations pure French pop music  

51:34and not get this that I don’t know I could listen  to it you know um it didn’t seem to be there to  

51:41destroy your mind I seemed to be there to you  know do the things the music’s supposed to do  

51:47make you fall in love you know that’s incredible  too just how you know different parts of the world  

51:53might have a different type of program that’s  being run and it’s almost like the whole world’s   their experiment you know and it’s like this  country we’re gonna try this this country we’re  

52:01gonna try that we’re gonna do this we’re gonna  do that and then they’re just observing with a   microscope saying what’s going on like we’re  in these little Petri dishes in our countries  

52:11yeah and they’re all running it through the  giant computer you know the Beast or whatever   and you know and they can spend the rest the next  hundred years as they need to analyzing it and  

52:20exactly yes 100 and so after let’s say age 11 12  when your father had some maybe discernment and  

52:31said okay we need to move on from this was  there ever discussions I’m sure you didn’t   remember anything but what happened after that  until you’re your memory started recovering  

52:44I just got um well my one thing about my father is  they took him and they put him in the hospital and  

52:49they brain want and they also depattered him that  was what Dr Cameron you know called his method  

52:56um uh deep patterning which was to take you know  basically to interfere with the Neurology of you  

53:03know of the brain you know and to and to he said  we were all I don’t know I was just reading the  

53:09other day there were people people’s minds  people psychology is really just a whole  

53:14um complex system of multi-layered patterns  but if you shake up those patterns uh you  

53:19can change the person you get a different  person so he would literally wipe people   wipe people’s minds I mean with electroshock  and drugs and so on and repeated messages  

53:30and um it played hundreds of times through with  a football helmet and ear and earphones and a  

53:38battery or something running this this tape in  people’s heads and um so my father actually was  

53:44taken from his work from the school where he  was teaching in um December 1962 and put in  

53:53the hospital and he stayed there for six weeks  and when he came home he really had to have that   he had he didn’t really recognize us at first he  had to he had to relearn you know his own identity  

54:04and um that’s what happened to my father in  1962 now I was 11 at that point um I they  

54:11hadn’t finished with me as far as I can tell they  because I was an asset to them and they had paid  

54:18money for me so the fact that my father was  now kind of he couldn’t work anymore he was  

54:24at home and he was that you know he was sort  of pushed aside they continued working on me  

54:30at that point and that’s I think the following  year is when I think they sent me to London  

54:36um on a you know and I remember being in  London in 1963 you know walking down the  

54:43street in this little dress but that’s just  come to me in the last three years two years  

54:48that memory I didn’t have that memory for most  of my life so okay what I think then I think um

54:57I think that caused a crisis in my family and  we suddenly we we we began making plans to move  

55:04out west to completely leave our home everything  behind my parents loaded up the car and we were  

55:10going to Alberta and and we drove across Canada  that summer but something must have happened on  

55:18when we got out there maybe we just we saw kind  of Canada and we really want to leave Montreal and  

55:23live out on the Prairies you know and I don’t know  but anyway they changed their minds and we drove   back and then kind of resumed our lives so then  a year later I was in high school in high school  

55:34that’s another it was that was for the first year  of high school it was music The Rolling Stones The  

55:42Beatles and the whole and all of my friends were  crazy about um uh The Beatles The Rolling Stones  

55:48and a television program called The Man from  Uncle which when you look at it now you can see  

55:54the people writing that program had to know a lot  about MKUltra so that was okay we were watching it  

56:00weekly and it was a kind of programming coming  at us through a spy you know it was about two  

56:07spies one was Russian one was American and they  worked together for this United Nations type of  

56:13organization and they went all over the world  doing crazy things since on we love this show   but I think also it was it was triggering some  kind of programming or something too at least  

56:22maybe in me or I don’t know maybe other kids who  you know at school so it was after that year so  

56:28after 1965 they they um they just I seem to have  decided that I had to be moved to another school  

56:37and put into another um onto another track in  life and that just took me to University I mean  

56:46um once I was in university all I wanted  to do was make Revolution you know was to   be was overthrow Society I was angry I was  I joined women’s movement I joined you know  

56:58um black power was happening and I just was got  involved in this much of that kind of thing as I  

57:03could be involved in 1968 1969 and so that uh you  know and then I lived in a women’s commune and you  

57:13know and uh went to abortion demonstrations and  you know we did all kinds of stuff that was like  

57:20the whole hippie Revolution right activist yeah  period and a lot of American draft Dodgers have  

57:26come up to Montreal so they were really organizing  a lot of these things too so that was my kind of   career I mean until my mid-20s when when I got fed  up with the women’s movement I could see that it  

57:39was some for it was like a form of Mind Control I  didn’t like what was happening to the women that   I knew who were in it who at first we started out  with so much optimism and hope and energy and and  

57:50positivity and it became something very different  uh very negative very anti-male very very narrow  

57:58in some way and I just said I have to get out  of this and at some point not that long after I  

58:04met Leonard Cohen and he was a figure in Montreal  who had at that point a kind of ambival ambiguous  

58:12figure bed at the same time famous in his own  way and he became a kind of a mentor for me so  

58:19that took took me off in a really different  direction I think that was I think he was  

58:25um he definitely he would have been in the  hospital himself he had gone through the program  

58:31Dr Cameron he you know he had been there been  a lecture shock numerous times many people had  

58:37seen him in there many he even talked about it to  some extent and so I think he was a a programmed  

58:46uh singer writer poet and all these things but um  at a higher level where he had become himself a  

58:54programmer and I think he was my Handler and  but you know at the time again it was like a  

59:01wonderful you know Wonderful coincidence to run  into him or have him phone me one night you know  

59:07invite me over and so that’s when my life took  off in a different kind of a different direction  

59:13I started writing and I began kind of imagining  this career as a writer journalist you know who’s  

59:22writing poetry all kinds of stuff so about how did  how did you meet him and how did that come about  

59:30he used to just I everyone could meet him and you  know in some way he was awesome just wandering  

59:36around town um he he had a bad reputation you  know with women picking up young women and that  

59:43I and so he was someone to avoid in in many  ways at least that I did for years avoid him  

59:51um you know he would stop you you’d pass him in  the street he’d be there you know and he would  

59:56he would recognize him you know and then he tried  to start a conversation um he was in bars a lot  

1:00:03you know and uh at the same time he was going you  know he was going to Israel and he was you know  

1:00:10fighting in the Yom Kippur War and coming back  and you know he bought some buildings and had  

1:00:16that little corner um of the downtown that was  kind of several buildings that he owned and then  

1:00:23he started a family had a kid I had a couple of  kids you know and and when I met him he had his  

1:00:29children were I think three years old and five  three and five and he had split with his wife  

1:00:35so he just phoned he got my number from from  someone that I knew who was his Carpenter who  

1:00:42was renovating one of his buildings and this  person had been telling me about Leonard and  

1:00:47you know you should get to know you should meet  Leonard and I was saying I don’t know and finally   I gave him my phone number and uh I said if you  see Leonard you know maybe he can you know here’s  

1:00:58my phone number so within 24 hours I got a phone  call and he invited me over that was it was that  

1:01:06simple I lived about two blocks from him at that  point two or three blocks I thought was there in   you know 10 minutes or something and then just  friendly you know social kind of chatting and  

1:01:19tea and played this guitar and sing cowboy song  and that’s how I kind of you know got sucked in

1:01:29it was you know and I felt very lucky that  that this had happened I didn’t understand  

1:01:34like I’m sure now that what he was doing was he  was kind of calling me back he was he was he was  

1:01:42um assigned to me he was partly acting out of  you know instructions because I had started  

1:01:49publishing poetry so he CL and a book had come  out and I was in anthology and he told me he’d  

1:01:56read my poems and that’s why he called me because  he liked them better than anyone else’s you know   that’s what he said then that’s why I believed  you know at the time oh he likes me you know but  

1:02:06I think there was much more to it yeah much more  was going on and it was about getting me back  

1:02:12into the under the umbrella and you had  mentioned that uh in other interviews that  

1:02:20you’ve done about a possible connection  whenever you were a child with him at   the McGill University could you talk about  that right you’ve heard that story now um  

1:02:32um that I can’t explain I can’t find  another way to explain how closely  

1:02:41he um he seemed to be able to relate to me when I  was meeting him for the first time how he seemed  

1:02:48to know me how he seemed to you know he invited me  into his world it made it really made no sense and  

1:02:55nobody would believe it you know like why would he  do that because it wasn’t like I was running after  

1:03:00him and trying to seduce him or that I was a very  sexy woman who you know he found her or something   like that it was absolutely not and it was just  like a friendly thing but it was somehow family  

1:03:10and the okay so about how many years ago five six  years ago I had a friend who’s since deceased but  

1:03:18he um he did a meditation one day at one or  you know and told me he you know he was going  

1:03:26to go into what the causes of this relationship  with Leonard Cohen that had eaten up a lot of   my life had really taken up a lot of space in  my life he didn’t he didn’t think that he said  

1:03:35there’s something wrong or there’s something  hot there’s got to be a reason for it he did   a meditation and he saw me as a child on a table  in the hospital kind of on a you know a stretcher  

1:03:45or something surrounded by doctors and white  jackets and they they were Electro shocking me  

1:03:51and I was in the I was four or five years old is  when I think this actually happened now I had had  

1:03:56my own flashback to them a couple of years before  but I never talked about it and I never told him  

1:04:02but he kind of spontaneously you know traveled  to that time saw that happening and he saw that  

1:04:09you know and I’m from my own flashback I  knew they electroshocked me to the heart   and it caused my heart to you know splutter  not you know and then they said well if we  

1:04:18do this again it could be lethal and okay we’ll  try I mean that was their attitude I mean that  

1:04:27was these doctors right oh let’s do it so they  were about to do it and in my flash book that’s  

1:04:33the point where I woke up kind of in a being  feeling shocked which kind of right you know  

1:04:39jumping in the air almost off the table and  I woke up from the flashback and you know   that’s what happens often you can’t go beyond a  certain point then you just can never find out  

1:04:47so my friend Patrick saw what happened at that  point he said a guy comes running in the room  

1:04:55uh it’s Leonard Cohen he’s like 20  years old and he stops it from happening

1:05:02for me it was completely believable because it  explained the whole psychology of my relationship  

1:05:09with Leonard where he was he called me we  Annie even though I was six feet tall and   you know and and you know he had little little  habits you know it was sort of sometimes as if  

1:05:23he saw me as a little girl which I was not I  was 26 years old and I was six weeks old and  

1:05:28I was not a little girl you know I was he was  five foot seven so I mean um uh it just it just  

1:05:35explained it explained to his patience with me and  explained how he he was very tolerant of a lot of  

1:05:41things he was very jovial he kind of treated me  in this way that you know it just it just wiped  

1:05:49away all the strange unanswered questions of  the relationship which had gone on for 20 years  

1:05:55and which really fell apart because of another  little girl where you know I so I mean um

1:06:07where I began to sense this  pedophile you know under current   two and then just freaked me out completely so  that’s really one reason why the relationship  

1:06:17my relationship with him couldn’t continue but  um you know I think he just I’ve never I don’t  

1:06:25know if I’ve ever said that before to anyone but  but I mean he I think he was part of a generation  

1:06:33and and his own like programming was the Hugh  Hefner generation and they were introducing  

1:06:41pedophilia along with the whole all the you know  things in the 60s the sexual Revolution and the  

1:06:47feminism and all the things that were suddenly  you know current and they were being promoted  

1:06:53everywhere like transculture now they were  promoting they were really beginning to promote  

1:06:58sex between children and adults in the 70s Hefner  and was talking was hinting at it in Playboy and  

1:07:06you know it was becoming it was going to be the  next thing and I think Cohen felt also that it it  

1:07:12was um if he believed in it so much as he felt it  was inevitable or something and so I picked up on  

1:07:20that sometime around you know in the late 70s I  began noticing that and I just you know found it  

1:07:26anyway wow did he say certain things or what  was it that gave you that Vibe what was what  

1:07:33what was it that gave you that Vibe did he  make comments or what did he do Behavior  

1:07:40um talk it was yeah I don’t want to talk too much  about people but yeah things he said some Behavior  

1:07:46with children um not that I saw sexual behavior  I didn’t but I sense the atmosphere and what the  

1:07:53children were being exposed to and what they knew  about which seemed like you know I mean of course  

1:07:59later generations were exposed to a lot more  than my gen my little generation you know in  

1:08:06the 50s but nevertheless I found some of  it you know disturbing and um I couldn’t  

1:08:12get a clear answer out of him I guess about it  and I just started to distance myself you know  

1:08:18um I don’t know what more to say about it it’s  just more like he felt I I think he you know  

1:08:24in the same way that he embraced religion in a  very you know like I a total kind of way he would  

1:08:31um he would take on these kinds of beliefs and  so on very he was dogmatic in a strange way he  

1:08:40was he’s like he saw his role as being to you  know to uplift people in some ways and teach  

1:08:46them you know the Torah you teach them the true  teachings of Judaism or or Christianity too but  

1:08:53but then he’d also you know sort of teach him  about the programming that was coming you know  

1:08:58he he was kind of an all-around mouthpiece I  mean you never stopped talking you know like  

1:09:06me now I understand it better now but I thought  it was interesting too how you had mentioned and  

1:09:14it’s not surprising but it’s just again there’s so  many hidden societies and hidden roles that people  

1:09:19have behind the scenes that the public doesn’t  see how you had mentioned he was a 33rd degree   Freemason yeah I’ve been told that I’m by several  people yeah and then he had also talked about and  

1:09:31kind of hinted at bringing you into kind of  a weird cult that he may have been in right  

1:09:38wasn’t he talking to you about some cult like  a death called or something like that it was um  

1:09:44there was a period when he seemed to be forming a  cult and he was also a member he was a student of  

1:09:50a Zen master in California called Sasaki roshi so  he was he was kind of he yeah he was um I had been  

1:10:00studying for you know a couple of decades I guess  and he started talking about bringing Judaism and  

1:10:06the Kabbalah together with Zen and creating a new  religion and symbolism and so on and this was at a  

1:10:13low point in his music career I think that’s when  people get into these kinds of things you know so   he he you could see it was very much on his mind  and that to to talk about religion but a kind of  

1:10:25cult you know kind of culty type of religion you  know and the kind of thing is Masonic essentially  

1:10:30Masonic and he had you know he designed these  symbols male and female energies you know  

1:10:39um you know and then I think his career I think  that kind of ended when suddenly had it had a  

1:10:46hit record again in 99 about 1988 he found a  new manager and she uh rebuilt his career and  

1:10:53suddenly I mean I think that’s when he kind of  in a way dropped the the put that as put aside  

1:11:00the religious thing I and and got into music  for a few years and you know it just had this  

1:11:07checkered career I also believe he he I know for  a fact he went on missions uh he was a a mercenary  

1:11:16but no one knows that it seems nobody really wants  to look at that but but I I would say uh he he was  

1:11:24often in places where there were were Mossad  you know had installed itself or the CIA was  

1:11:30involved or there was a revolution in progress and  he seemed to play some kind of role in revolutions   and um coups and things like that the Bay of  Pigs in 1961 in Cuba and you know and Ethiopia  

1:11:44Israel well during the war there yeah so he was a  military person he had weapons training you know  

1:11:54it’s very complicated yeah and I think especially  for you you know having this coincidental what  

1:12:02you thought was coincidental uh relationship with  him and then finding later potentially that maybe  

1:12:08this this relationship in a sense or just this  connection was going on for a very long time since  

1:12:14you were little yeah and there was affection that  came I believe there was the strong this was the  

1:12:20whole thing about it it was hard to dismiss for  me uh that there seemed to be genuine affection  

1:12:27and this it was quite uh yeah complicated to to  process I and for a while I thought he’s just  

1:12:35a Buddhist you know he just loves everyone and  so I would introduce people to him thinking well  

1:12:41he’s going to love them too you know you know  they’ll get some of this love and they didn’t   they did and then so slowly you know it took me a  long time to realize well it’s because you know he  

1:12:52no he doesn’t love everybody he but he remembers  this little girl that he knew at one point in the  

1:12:58hospital we Annie you know that was the thing  now it’s very simple when you figure it out  

1:13:06but I had Amnesia right I had no memory all  of that was gone from the lsdn or whatever  

1:13:13they did to me to make me forget all of that  he remembered though you know so it humanizes  

1:13:20him you know I think that’s the other thing that  people who didn’t go through something like you  

1:13:26on the outside when you hear about you know the  abuse that people are indoctrinated into in these  

1:13:31systems and the things that they’re forced to  do it’s not good you know it’s very uh there’s  

1:13:37a lot of violence a lot of trauma there’s a lot  of forcing people to do things against their will   there’s a lot of non-consensual actions you know  and then those people grow up to then perpetuate  

1:13:48It On to the Next Generation right and so of  course Society should be so angry that that these  

1:13:54people are out there walking you know there’s very  little persecution but at the same time it helps  

1:13:59to humanize people and to to remember that they  were also born children of God who were abused you  

1:14:06know and these people were were taken advantage  of they were programmed they never had a choice   their whole life and a lot of them still like I  bet any of them you know if they would have had a  

1:14:16choice they would have chosen love and they would  have chosen to be kind to the child or the or the   children you know and and it just didn’t happen  that way because they never had that choice and  

1:14:25they never got that choice and I love how your  story you know it Paints the picture of who he  

1:14:30might have been you know this Intel person who  is handling you all his intentions or the things   that he was made to do with the relationship may  not have been pure but it seems like there was a  

1:14:40place in his heart that was very pure for you  and that he showed that to you for a long time  

1:14:46yeah and that’s ABS again you’re really you’re  so clear yeah exactly and it could take it’s  

1:14:52taken me many years to kind of process that and  come to that that kind of understanding of it I  

1:14:58um you know he died in 2016 and uh um I don’t  know I had a lot of resentment against him up  

1:15:07until that point you know all right up until his  death I think and once once he was gone it was  

1:15:12as if we had to do we still had a relationship in  some way and but it had changed and the pressure  

1:15:19that he used to constantly complain about the  obligations and the feeling of he had no choice in  

1:15:26the matter and many things he used to say that all  the time and I used to just not understand it you  

1:15:31know I used to go what do you mean you know you’re  a millionaire I mean you’re famous you’re telling   me you have no control over your career but I  think it was absolutely true because the career  

1:15:41would never have come to him had he not made  all these deals and all these you know all these   secret agreements that then he had to pay the  price for and so once he was dead thank you thank  

1:15:53you Lord you know once he was dead all of that  just dissolved and in a way I felt also free from  

1:16:01a lot of things because I didn’t have to think  about him anymore I think about all the you know   all these puzzling you know I had still had these  memories of things that had happened we just just  

1:16:12you can be free if you can if you can overcome  your fear of death you’re free of most things  

1:16:18in this world that’s really what it’s all  based on that’s how they get us you know  

1:16:24yeah so especially like we’ve definitely seen  that you know Amplified the last few years  

1:16:30everything’s been death and dying and you’re  gonna get people sick and you know it’s been   this huge Warfare against us being afraid of  us dying of something or us giving somebody  

1:16:41something that’s going to kill them you know and  that’s that it’s so powerful what that does to a   whole society when you you know implant that  fear and Trauma onto them on a grand scale  

1:16:52it’s like blackmailing the whole society isn’t it  you know stealing everything yeah stealing their  

1:17:00choices yeah like every generation has to learn  a lesson in their own way over and over again  

1:17:07and it’s always really the same lesson I guess  you know like who am I and what am I able what  

1:17:13am I capable of and and what will I accept what  won’t I accept and you know what am I here to do  

1:17:20comes down to those things yes and we’re asking  going around you know staying indoors for a year  

1:17:27you know that’s not why I came here you know  right yes and taking back the gifts that are  

1:17:34ours that they want to exploit and you know lower  the frequency of you know and step into Who We Are

1:17:42yeah we’re working on it and so let’s go into when  you started to have memory recall when did that  

1:17:52happen and what what triggered that for you to say  oh my gosh my life wasn’t what I thought it was  

1:17:59um big time in two it was I was 50. I had  just turned 50. so it was in 2003 I mean I’m  

1:18:07time flies but really all my life I had some  very strange memories like I had I remembered  

1:18:14and told my mother when I was four or five about  being in an underground base where children would  

1:18:21be tortured basically and I and at four I had  a very visit you know um I don’t know I mean  

1:18:29dream fantasy but it was a scenario that I that  came up for me every night I would recreate it  

1:18:36in my mind but I had because I’d experienced  it I felt but my mother said well it’s a Dream  

1:18:42It’s a nightmare you know and it didn’t it’s not  real but it was identical it was odd had there  

1:18:48were odd details about it that were identical  to another Survivor that I found out about I  

1:18:53started in 2003 and it might have been folly I’m  not sure but um I think maybe it was but it was  

1:19:02um China Lake military base in California had the  exact scenario that I remembered and I have proof  

1:19:11it because I wrote about it in 19 in the 1980s  I wrote a short story that got published that  

1:19:17describes it so I can’t nobody can say well you  just read about it on the internet in 2000 and  

1:19:22then you you know it absolutely was with me all  my life um and uh so that’s you know memories  

1:19:32I remember some of the trauma you  know in my family I remember you know  

1:19:37um yeah some of the things that you know that  were odd that were happening like not being at  

1:19:43school you know about half the year and you know  but a lot of that’s just behind Amnesia was or  

1:19:49they they create anyway that’s but you know just  odd things and then but then in 2003 that’s when  

1:19:56I really uh had the time and I instantly plowed  into MK Ultra I basically stumbled on it and  

1:20:04recognized certain things and realized this was  this was my city my time my father had been you  

1:20:14know in the Allen with this dog the same doctor  and it could you know we were involved in it I  

1:20:21mean I but I know it ever told me that before it  had been downplayed and my parents were more they  

1:20:28were more concerned about not us not knowing  they didn’t want us to know because I they   didn’t understand it either they wouldn’t have  been able to explain it and it had traumatized  

1:20:38them and they just didn’t want our lives to  be you know ruined by so they tried to pretend  

1:20:45that nothing had happened and that’s why I have  all these idyllic memories of childhood and you   know and I’m having been successful at school  I wasn’t a you know I was like a model student  

1:20:56and um those are yeah that was my conscious you  know with the word you know my front altar I guess  

1:21:03was like that but but once I started researching  then you know things began fitting together  

1:21:09it’s funny because some people get flooded I was  I was warned some people go and get hypnotized and  

1:21:18um OC therapist and be and try to  recall the memories I I was warned not   to do that so I didn’t do it just at the  beginning of you know in the early 2000s  

1:21:29um so in instead I approached it from the outside  and I did research I I read thousands of pages of  

1:21:37about MK Ultra I corresponded with people I didn’t  I still didn’t believe that I had been in it as a  

1:21:44child until I met a group of psychics in Montreal  and they basically came to me and said we want to  

1:21:53work with you we think you have a story one of  them in particular who I had met who could see  

1:21:58who said my father told him you know my father  had been dead for 30 30 years at that point but  

1:22:05um your father is telling me that his story needs  to be told and you need to tell it and I want I  

1:22:11have a group of people that will work with you  and I was still pretty you know I I knew a lot  

1:22:17about the program I knew not about the history  I had studied enough and for over a year after  

1:22:22a year so I knew the history of it all but  I I didn’t see where I fit into it and these  

1:22:28people were just natural remote viewers and they  formed like a circle and we met week after week  

1:22:36and sometimes we videoed you know or taped  the session and um they they went to without  

1:22:43my giving them any kind of instructions because  I wasn’t sure what to tell them they went back  

1:22:50to McGill in 1960 and talked to the children who  were living in the laboratory under the ground  

1:22:55and going through experiments and they and even  I I didn’t know about those children and then  

1:23:01and none of them knew about the children and we  had their got their names and their life stories  

1:23:06and we even looked at their files and it was a  whole that took up a year or two or even longer  

1:23:14that was just amazing and it was we were all just  blank we I mean we’re not in no way except for  

1:23:21me who had done all the reading and the research  but couldn’t connect it to my own life or my own  

1:23:27really yet I wasn’t able to to put it together  and and these people filled in all those blanks

1:23:34so that is okay that’s where I’ll show you  this is my book and I wrote this in 2004 and  

1:23:41and it’s called my cold war and that and the  story of the remote viewing is in there it’s   it’s really kind of a self-published  book with it has its flaws but but  

1:23:51um that’s what came out of that ex you know  that whole period and so on and all the research  

1:23:57just tell me my family your book is  your testimony right and people can work  

1:24:03yeah first person did you say I said where can  people purchase that ah online you can go to my  

1:24:10website it’s like oh you can go to if you if you  Google and Diamond my cold war Ann Diamond my cold  

1:24:20war and you might put in Amazon or Lulu either  it should be available on both and you should  

1:24:27be able to get copies either and there’s free I  have it on my website uh I’m giving away the PDF  

1:24:34three if somebody wants to you know contact me  I can send them a PDF or they can download it   wow that’s amazing so you said Amazon Lulu or they  could contact you directly and get a PDF of it  

1:24:45yeah or even just if they can fund I don’t know  yeah I can give you a link at the end of the show  

1:24:51so talk about that process a little bit like why  why and how did you decide to go public and what  

1:24:57was that like for you especially because like how  we were talking about earlier it was a different   time back in the early 2000s you know what was  your motivation to do that and like what was the  

1:25:06process um I was motivated by the idea I had  a great story and then it would get published  

1:25:12and thousand and millions of people would read  it I really I mean maybe thousands you know in  

1:25:18Canada and then it would make a big difference  and it would help people because you know that   was my motivation and my belief but what actually  happened was there was an a complete uh I was  

1:25:31completely shut down by every in every direction  that I went to talk to Publishers agents editors  

1:25:38you know magazines anybody that I approached  um instantly shut me down and I had a I you  

1:25:47know published in a couple of novels at that  point and I had you know I had been teaching   creative writing and a university and so on  and I had it I knew all kinds of people you  

1:25:56know I’ve been a journalist I had to call him you  know in the Montreal Gazette and or anything so I  

1:26:02sort of had this public you know uh personality  in a way persona but once I came out with this  

1:26:10story or I try I had the manuscript and I started  trying to just tell people Publishers you know  

1:26:16um maybe you’d be interested in this it’s a  fantastic story it’s a very it’s very disturbed   you know without I believe they they rejected  it without reading it because they already knew  

1:26:28I was not the first and they already knew that  it was absolutely taboo the topic is taboo you  

1:26:35cannot talk about it in Canada it’s because of the  children because I was talking about the children  

1:26:42and it’s they have just crushed that you know  it and even though in on at conferences in the  

1:26:50states at the time it was being talked about and  there were people in Canada that were researching   it and and I have met them and so on but nobody  has had a book published as far as I know so um  

1:27:03what happened was just a complete blacklisting and  everybody just you know and then I think people  

1:27:08were told I was schizophrenic and I you know don’t  even deal with her and she’s gone crazy and it was  

1:27:14a real um yeah that happened pretty fast and  then that and then I just pulled myself out  

1:27:23I’m I moved to Greece I mean I found a I found  a a boyfriend to Greece in her life in Greece  

1:27:28that was just kind of given just offered to me at  that same time and I I just said this you know I  

1:27:34I can’t be here and just fight with this because  there’s no I can’t even get a finger fingernail  

1:27:39hold you know anywhere there’s nobody will talk  to me and they’re ready to forget everything like  

1:27:44that they even knew me and just you know fall  into line it was shocking really to see people  

1:27:53you know and uh so that’s it’s been 20 years  almost yeah and finally you know a group has  

1:28:03formed there’s a lot of um there are two lawsuits  and in fact you could say there are three lawsuits  

1:28:10in progress class action suits there’s been media  some media attention and they still don’t talk  

1:28:15about children unless it’s Aboriginal it’s native  children indigenous children the Mohawk children  

1:28:22because they can’t deny that anymore they found  all the mass Graves or they’re you know they think  

1:28:27they’re they found the mass Graves all across the  country so they can’t stop the Mohawk mothers from  

1:28:32saying our children are buried at Mcgill and  this has made a huge difference because there   are other children buried at McGill there’s a  lot of I think Mohawk kids yes in the ground  

1:28:42there are a lot I don’t know how many but a lot  of missing Mohawk children but I believe there   are other other children there and all across  Canada there are mass grades with children  

1:28:53but you can imagine I mean the Department of  Defense has completely you know they they control  

1:28:59the media I guess if you know if there’s anyone  I think there was a documentary that was going  

1:29:05to air in about 1998 and they just canceled  it it’s never been seen yeah I was told yeah  

1:29:13it’s amazing to me how long they’ve been able  to cover all this up you know because there’s  

1:29:18even like there’s even proof the CIA has come out  and said we did this it stopped but we did it you  

1:29:25know and people still are like oh that that  never happened or it’s not it couldn’t happen   and you had said in an interview you’re like why  would they stop something that was so effective  

1:29:35you know why would we just believe oh it worked  great we’re just gonna stop it though because   the public doesn’t want us to do it anymore you  know it’s just so tricky and they find different  

1:29:45ways and they they destroyed or they hid the  records you know it I mean I’m sure they had   many panic attacks when they realized that they  what you know what they were sitting on and I’m  

1:29:55sure that still goes on today at McGill University  which you know there was a an injunction and they  

1:30:01were and they were had agreed to uh produce the  records and they’ve gone they’ve reneged on their  

1:30:06agreement within two weeks they were saying no no  no we won’t no we won’t we said we would but no   we won’t well because they can’t I think because  they can’t without completely you know exposing  

1:30:19everything and who really who wants to you know  who wants to know does anyone want to know well we  

1:30:27do you know yeah we need to know that I think more  people too would want to know if they could just  

1:30:33wrap their mind around that it’s it’s possible  you know people are just they’ve just been told so  

1:30:39many times repetition mind control right this is  fake this is conspiracy so people don’t even want  

1:30:45to consider it you know and even trauma trauma in  itself we’re so not dialed in as a society on how  

1:30:53trauma actually affects our bodies and like  you were saying with the Tavistock Institute   the whole Rockefeller you know education system  they’ve dumbed down and taken out of textbooks for  

1:31:04psychologists and counselors people that could  have an impact don’t even have access to this  

1:31:09information and so they think it’s a conspiracy  when somebody like you comes in and says here’s  

1:31:15everything I went through here’s what’s going on  with my body and they they say you’re crazy we’re   gonna lock you up you know and it’s so sad because  it’s actually really powerful and interesting how  

1:31:25trauma affects us and then learning how we can  undo that and so so many people would benefit   if they had that knowledge and instead people  don’t even realize that what they’re dealing  

1:31:34with is trauma much less how to help themselves  through it yeah and Trauma and just even hearing  

1:31:42about it is traumatic you know it’s just knowing  this whole story is is a form of trauma in itself  

1:31:50apart from you know the tortures and so on  and they did they tortured people sensory   isolation I mean they what they did with  children at McGill went in directly into the  

1:32:00um cia’s torture manual you know kubark torture  manual has methods that were developed at McGill  

1:32:08by Donald Dr Hebb and Dr Cameron and then these  some of these they were great named Dr Lehman  

1:32:14you know great names in medicine or of science  you know it could really turn you against science  

1:32:22I mean what they did was just such a a distortion  of Psychiatry you know when I was and when I was  

1:32:29I don’t know in my teens I thought I wanted  to be a psychiatrist when I grew up I wanted   you know I was reading books on Psychiatry and RD  Lang and you know all the transcendental you know  

1:32:43Consciousness and I thought that’s  what psychiatrists would say it’s to   help people open up to this you know this  bigger universe and to heal themselves and  

1:32:51all that but what was being done at McGill  at that time was actual torture you know  

1:32:59it was intended it was military mind control with  no there was no healing at all they just destroyed  

1:33:07they destroyed families they destroyed  patients they went after their children  

1:33:13it was just a criminal it was a criminal operation  right in the middle of a world famous you know  

1:33:20institution that was being looked to as a model  you know around the world just makes no sense or  

1:33:29it does you know make sense but it does once you  learn but I mean you’ve even said you know this  

1:33:34was happening at Harvard and this was happening  at these other you know I’m being A-list schools  

1:33:40it was so I don’t know I just well just recently  I read an article from from The New Yorker about  

1:33:45a guy who claims he was it was very convincing  very persuasive you know personal story of a  

1:33:50guy who was so depressed he was ready to  kill himself and electroshock cured him  

1:33:56and how he describes innocently it’s from a  couple of years ago in the New Yorker I just   read it the other day and all I could think of was  this is so different his experience the doctors  

1:34:06were trying to help but they were very firm we  were going to give you this treatment it’s the   only thing that you can help you and the nurse  you know and he knew all these people who were  

1:34:14suffering and he just describes it it’s so Humane  it’s New York Institute of Psychiatry that he he  

1:34:20was in you know Columbia University and it’s  the same institution that was doing the in  

1:34:27the military mind control you know experiments in  the 50s and destroying people imprisoning people  

1:34:35and so what it where’s the what is it is  it just certain people that they select  

1:34:40that they actually help or is it different  you know different time periods different  

1:34:48what is going on I mean you know it’s wild what  helped you when you were healing you mentioned  

1:34:56the group of people that came around you and  helped you maybe remote view what other tools  

1:35:01were really helpful for you I know it’s not the  same for everybody but I love talking about that   a little bit because something you know that  you say might be really helpful for somebody  

1:35:11um I learned I went to the it was called  the smart conference I don’t know if in   Connecticut and there was a group of people  including Carol rutz and I don’t know if you  

1:35:20know Wanda carricker she wrote a book you know  her book uh no I can’t remember the name but oh  

1:35:26the name sounds familiar but I wouldn’t be  able to to recall where her book is called  

1:35:32um she wrote a book with something that entitled  like min oh I forget anyway something about the  

1:35:37dawn or I forget but it’s a really very good novel  about a small town in in New England where where  

1:35:43uh people are being yeah are going through these  kinds of cult programming experiences anyway she  

1:35:49was there and a lot of other people and and  there was a kind of a discussion what is what  

1:35:54is the best form of therapy that you can recommend  afterwards you know people were talking about it  

1:36:00online and and they did a poll of I don’t know a  lot of survivors uh and number one is talk therapy  

1:36:10if you can afford that or find somebody  who’ll talk to you you know I never could so  

1:36:16um but and the second is writing so I’m fine with  that they’re very close I can’t remember the other  

1:36:22you know you know play therapy sandbox I don’t  know you know but those two are they’re absolutely  

1:36:28at the top so I think if someone you know I never  could afford to see a therapist I don’t you know  

1:36:33I you know I never went to therapy I wonder what  if what would have happened if I had you know back  

1:36:40before all this they probably would have given  me drugs or something I don’t know you know but  

1:36:46I’m glad I’ve always had this habit of writing  and I think it’s a good habit to cultivate and  

1:36:54it’s very helpful to go back and look at yourself  as you you know what you wrote 10 20 years ago if  

1:37:00you can keep that you know or even two years ago  or even six months ago I used to you know often  

1:37:07kind of keep Diaries and uh now it’s mostly in  emails but I still can find those you know I  

1:37:14yeah and writing’s so powerful too just because  it doesn’t elicit that same fight or flight uh  

1:37:23sympathetic nervous system response it’s kind of  the opposite so it’s really it’s a lot easier to  

1:37:28process without having to speak it you know  remember when you were saying that when you   started talking you would shake and it’s very  different when you can keep quiet and just  

1:37:37hold a pen and write like it affects our body  differently and and puts us in a different you  

1:37:42know a different state you’re right do you write  yourself do you do I love you I love writing yeah  

1:37:52yeah it kind of comes through you know that anyway  you become you’re you’re your own therapist then  

1:37:58but you’re also your friend your best friend in  a way you can talk to yourself without having to  

1:38:03you know make excuses and I think it it leads  to eventually you know you’re an integrated  

1:38:10personality that could take a long time for  some people absolutely yes well luckily now  

1:38:16we have people like you we have people like Kathy  O’Brien and you know Lisa meister’s and a lot of  

1:38:22people who have healed and who all have different  ways of doing it and now hopefully people who are  

1:38:28going through what you did you know to some degree  or who are dealing with different levels of trauma  

1:38:33they’ll be able to find people like you and get  tools more easily than they would have been able   to 20 30 40 years ago you know even five years ago  you know so my hope is that people you know the  

1:38:43process of healing accelerates with time as more  people speak out more people share more counselors  

1:38:49talk to people like you you know instead of just  trusting their textbooks they say what did you go  

1:38:55through you know and how does it affect your body  and start learning outside of the box you know so  

1:39:00that gives me a lot of Hope too that there’s  there’s more information on actual trauma and  

1:39:06actual healing of you know did and just extreme  trauma that’s that’s being advocated for by  

1:39:12survivors and you’re seeing that happening right  are you yes in the future that’s happening you see  

1:39:19it I’m seeing it yeah I’m seeing therapists now  talk to Satanic ritual abuse survivors and I’m  

1:39:24character survivors and work with those people and  try to understand you know that clientele versus  

1:39:30just the type that they learned about in school  and I think that’s amazing there’s a Survivor that  

1:39:36um that I’ve interviewed her daughter is going  to school to be a a psychologist and wants to  

1:39:42work with MK Ultra SRA victims you know and  she learned from her mom the truth and now  

1:39:47she’s gonna go apply it to the education  system and see if she can kind of pave a   way that other people aren’t you know and it’s  like takes one person at a time to do something  

1:39:56like that to where it becomes more people start  looking outside their textbooks and saying what  

1:40:02didn’t they teach me in school that I need to  know it could take a lifetime you know for some  

1:40:08people to get to that point I know I mean  that’s so encouraging to know and you’re in but I have also seen up in Canada I mean  I know of a couple of cases where some uh  

1:40:28an MK Ultra Survivor got therapy in  London Ontario which is a huge hub  

1:40:35for MKUltra in Canada and yet you know people  don’t seem to know it and she she’s got a a  

1:40:42therapist to come to her house who was like  you know supposed to be helping with her who  

1:40:48completely denied her experience and by the end of  the it caused her Kathy to to begin to doubt you  

1:40:58know and start uh doubt her own memories because  they’re very delicate these things you know these  

1:41:04horrific childhood infants you know from infancy  things are horrible she had some really horrible  

1:41:11things happened to her and she’d been getting  support from a group of Americans you know she’d  

1:41:17gone to the conference at uh with um you know some  I don’t know some of the really big names of you  

1:41:23know 30 years ago the first people to expose this  like Claudia Mullen and blonde shabusty and there  

1:41:29were any other names she knew those people  and they had supported her but once she was   back in London Ontario this heavily psychiatrist  Community I mean they have hospitals coming out of  

1:41:41the psychiatrists coming out of the woodwork there  and and she began calling me a conspiracy theorist  

1:41:48you know after because she she just didn’t trust  herself anymore she didn’t trust it and I was very  

1:41:55you know that’s quite suppressing I don’t think  we’re anywhere near where you are and count I  

1:42:00think Canada is really backward in this you know  so there’s definitely a long way to go you know  

1:42:08and one person at a time and it might it might  take Generations but at least we’re starting   to see some counselors and there’s books  being written you know and people caring  

1:42:19and it’s like that makes me excited that  in a you know a couple or a few Generations   hopefully they have a lot more knowledge more  widespread in mainstream than we have now  

1:42:30yeah and look how I’m sure it’s changed your life  you know and really opened and and probably didn’t  

1:42:35take that long might have taken you a year or two  to sort of or less even to take it in to begin to  

1:42:41really get an an understanding you you have a  lot you have a deep understanding of it I think  

1:42:46it’s been so helpful getting to do this that was  one thing like I wanted to start a podcast so I  

1:42:52could have one spot where people could go to  to meet people like you and to hear from Kathy  

1:42:58O’Brien and to have like a library but one of the  things that I didn’t realize was how beneficial  

1:43:04it would be for me you know I’ve heard so  many stories over the last two and a half   years and it has like it was so hard for me to  understand like I go back to some of my really  

1:43:13early interviews and I had no idea how to respond  to any of this stuff it just was so out of my my  

1:43:19you know my Lane of thinking and it still is like  I can’t fully comprehend it but I get it like I’ve  

1:43:26gotten I understand the science behind it and I  understand the motive behind it even if I don’t  

1:43:33get how people can do it it’s like I see a big  picture now of what the goal was and is and I  

1:43:41could see it in the world being you know Amplified  over the entire world instead of just you know  

1:43:46at a college or in one spot they’re taking that  information and now you know exploiting the public  

1:43:52like you know so I think you know these stories  really are helpful like it helps so much hearing  

1:43:58from you and getting that breakdown of your  experience so people like me can say oh and  

1:44:05seems brilliant she doesn’t seem like a conspiracy  theorist like she’s really smart and what she said   makes sense you know and it kind of normalizes the  conversation because it’s been unfortunately like  

1:44:16MK Ultra you know it’s like how you said it’s  not properly portrayed when you do hear about  

1:44:21it it’s like this extreme you know way that it’s  presented it doesn’t sound normal like it’s not a  

1:44:30way it’s not like you know sitting in a classroom  and hearing a teacher where somebody can take it   in and say oh you know that sounds logical or it  makes sense it’s it’s almost exploited in a way  

1:44:39where people just write it off right away they’re  like that’s too weird I don’t even want to look   at it where if they listen to a podcast like this  and just hear two people talking it doesn’t sound  

1:44:48so crazy anymore when you just hear the stories  and how it connects and you do research on the  

1:44:54people you know somebody goes and researches the  doctors that you talk about in the school and all  

1:44:59of a sudden it’s like maybe that could happen  like it doesn’t sound so crazy anymore you know  

1:45:06Yeah the more we know I mean the more we know the  less we know but I think when you hear someone’s  

1:45:11story and when they can connect you know when  they can connect it all chronologically and  

1:45:17show there’s a logic to there’s like a it’s  almost like it’s inevitable the way things  

1:45:22developed you know they decided they wanted to  you know control people’s minds and uh prepare  

1:45:28people for a a future where war of where Warfare  would be like everywhere that was I think you know  

1:45:37bringing Warfare home to domestic populations and  then oh well this how would you do it well I just  

1:45:43went about doing it in all these you know taking  all the people the populations and the people  

1:45:49that they could get you know who had who were  vulnerable who couldn’t protect themselves the   children it just it’s just what you would do  if you were a mad scientist with a with a lot  

1:45:59of money military background and um not much no  compassion or you know anyway absolutely yes and  

1:46:12so I’m so grateful for you and all the work that  you’ve done and you talked about your book I’d   love for you to talk a little bit about your blog  talk about some of the stuff that you’re working  

1:46:20on and maybe um anything that you have coming  up or just where people can can aside from your  

1:46:27book where people can connect with you and see  the work that you’ve been doing over the years   um well I’m sort of working on new fresh  blogs right now and they’re they’re sort of  

1:46:36only semi-public I’m sort of doing them it’s like  my place to write and I share with a few people  

1:46:42and I have and one of the one of them is that  is really I’m trying to finish my story about   Leonard Cohen I I have a little Memoir that I  published a few years ago called the man next  

1:46:53door about Leonard Cohen and I just wanted to it  really wasn’t finished but I felt like I want to  

1:46:59put this out there that’s kind of how how it’s  been I felt like someday I’ll complete this work  

1:47:05but right now I don’t want to just be living  in my own little world so that’s why I have a   Blog so I can kind of you know there’s people  that stumble in it or people that find it and  

1:47:15and they learn bits and pieces of things and  then sometimes I you know they write to me and  

1:47:20um one of one of my blogs is called mother of  Darkness I uh I’ll I’ll give you the URL for that  

1:47:28um but that’s kind of been frozen now I I was  um it seems like they’ve cracked down on it or  

1:47:34something so I can’t add to it it’s kind of  but it’s there’s a lot of material on it if  

1:47:40you skim down and eventually I think I’ll just  reorganize takes it take the the take it and  

1:47:46put it in some other form but like stuff about  Doctrine I have a few articles on Dr Mengele uh  

1:47:54and also hit well Dr Mengele are coming to Quebec  uh experimenting on children in Quebec you know  

1:48:00of the famous the notorious the infamous  Dr Joseph Mengele of Auschwitz Fame right  

1:48:08um was it was taken was brought to America by the  Vatican and one of the first places he came was  

1:48:14Quebec because it was controlled so controlled by  the Vatican and he yeah he probably worked briefly  

1:48:21for McGill you know it’s all been hidden so I have  that kind of material that’s some really great  

1:48:27material on that blog but you have to kind of  scroll through it and I I should be you know I I  

1:48:33should be reorganizing it and putting it out there  more um there’s some stuff online on that blog too  

1:48:39things I found out about him is Cia connections  you know the fact that he had a double I want this  

1:48:46one of my favorite pieces now I’ve I stumbled on  photos that show that in 1961 Leonard Cohen had a  

1:48:53double an actor playing him and they were creating  a some sort of alibi situation you know Leo same  

1:49:02for Lee harveyor as well there were two Lee Harvey  Oswald same era you know and uh CIA you know so I  

1:49:11found I found proof that Leonard Cohen had a had  a you know double yeah life basically well was you  

1:49:20know yeah one on a Greek island and the other  while he was in Cuba you know fighting Castro  

1:49:28for the CIA so that sort of thing on that blog  there’s really a lot of good information in there

1:49:35yeah I’ll send you the link maybe you could  post it yeah absolutely yeah I’ll put it in  

1:49:42the show notes for everybody and are you are  you on social media at all when Facebook is  

1:49:47and Diamond I can’t tell you the exact but  you know and diamond on Facebook I’m one of  

1:49:5327 of them or I don’t know how many now but um  what’s I I also I’ll give you I’ll send you links  

1:50:01um also I’m very involved in a uh I have a  site that’s for survivors of these experiments  

1:50:07mostly Montreal survivors um and we have  there’s another site that I help sometimes  

1:50:13help with called brainwashing victims of the  Canadian government and so you know there’s  

1:50:20um that’s a really good site someone someone  is doing a great job of editing that right now  

1:50:26and so I’ll send you those links to  places where you can you know people can  

1:50:32um yeah and book I have this book I have a  few books and lulu.com is my bookstore okay  

1:50:39and I’m happy to link that to you so people can  go down I always say on the show you know we’re  

1:50:44so conditioned as a society to just go throw money  at non-profits and sure you can you know you can  

1:50:50find a diamond in the rough non-profit that is  doing good but more often than not the ones that  

1:50:56we donate to you know they’re they’re paying their  salaries and they’re not doing much with it and I  

1:51:01always say go give directly to a Survivor purchase  their work you know support their blog go follow  

1:51:07them on social media like that’s a really good  investment to do that because you know exactly   where your money’s going it’s not funneled through  a third party there’s no conditions that are being  

1:51:17taken out I mean of course things like Amazon  like they’re gonna take some money out but I   mean ultimately like it’s going around Amazon  yeah yeah and so I love when people go support  

1:51:27and I love when people you know write me and say  oh I went and bought Anne’s books you know and   they changed my life so I really encourage people  listening please please please please go support  

1:51:37you know it’s so generous that Anne takes the time  out to do something like this for free for us and  

1:51:43she’s been doing free you know with her blog and  everything and just speaking out for 20 years you  

1:51:49know and she puts out a book and it has all the  information in one spot that we could ever want   and it’s it’s a really special thing to have  something like that that you can have at home  

1:51:58and it’s a great gift to give to maybe a friend  who’s waking up you know to say I don’t know how  

1:52:03to talk about this and I don’t feel qualified to  but here’s a book for you to read that’s going to   explain the stuff that I’ve discovered you know  that I think you should know and it’s you know I  

1:52:13think one person at a time you know if we start  supporting survivor’s work and we start hiring   survivors and we start you know reading their  blogs and following their podcasts like then we  

1:52:24start creating an industry and we we give you guys  the resources to keep doing what you’re doing this   stuff isn’t cheap even having a podcast you’re  taking time out of your day right now you know  

1:52:33all the the time that you take to write your blogs  like you’re putting an offer free but there’s an  

1:52:38expense on your end of time and energy so I think  it’s beautiful when you create something that we   can reciprocate and give you something back  for it so I encourage everybody to go buy all  

1:52:48of your stuff and to go support you and I’ll  find you I’ll find the real Facebook for you   and I’ll just link your direct Facebook in the  bottom to you that way people can yeah foreign

1:53:00another thing I would say too though that I’ve  been thinking about lately is that people people  

1:53:13really need to come together around this whole  subject it’s a history topic and there should  

1:53:19be courses given out on it I don’t know if there  are anywhere at universities or adult education  

1:53:24centers or whatever you know so people could  come together because when when I discovered  

1:53:30this the world of MKUltra I I was ready to  read day and night I was so riveted to it it  

1:53:39explained everything and it helped some it was  so helpful and also you know it answered yeah  

1:53:45answered all kinds of questions and I felt like I  hadn’t found a subject in years that had you know  

1:53:51captured my attention the way this does and I’m  it’s like I’ve never I’ve never found anything  

1:53:57since except I kind of like the history of rock  and roll interests me now the history of Music in  

1:54:03my you know but but um that’s you know I we need I  we should be studying these things in universities  

1:54:12finding out about it does it happen to all  of us I believe it’s not just a few survivors  

1:54:18that had this happen the whole society really  it’s a whole society yes it helps you you know  

1:54:24it helps everybody pull themselves out of this  you know manufactured reality and just be able to   see the world for what it is and be able to just  be more conscious instead of being you know just  

1:54:34so robotic like how they want us and depressed and  sad you know it’s like wait a minute I’m depressed  

1:54:39and sad because my government and my TV are making  me this way when I’m out in nature for five days  

1:54:44without my phone I don’t even know anything’s  wrong you know so it’s like we have to really  

1:54:50realize that we the world is bad yes but it’s also  very beautiful and we can create the world that   we want together instead of just the coming to  the world that they’ve created for us and saying  

1:55:00I guess I’m just going to be depressed my whole  life we can say wait a minute we’re going to come   together and reclaim our world and we’re going  to create beautiful you know blogs and podcasts  

1:55:08and books and movies we’re gonna do it we’re not  gonna depend on Hollywood and the government to   do it we’re going to create the beautiful world  that we want you know and and I think we’re we’re  

1:55:17not there yet but the more people learn about  MK Ultra I think that’s really what it does is   it helps us it helps us reclaim our power back and  helps us realize you know what we can do if we all  

1:55:28come together versus being so divided like how  they’ve wanted us to be yeah and the way we’ll  

1:55:35learn is by finding out where we’ve been you know  that’s how you find out how to create the future  

1:55:40so anyway I encourage everyone listen to your  show support survivors and support you I mean  

1:55:50you it seems you’re doing an amazing job so  I’m going to tell everyone about your show   thank you thank you an honor to have you  on you’re such a bright light and it’s  

1:55:59so awesome to see your smiling face and  to just get to actually meet you finally

1:56:05and likewise is there exposing thoughts that you  have or anything that you want to say before we  

1:56:12start closing up for the day I don’t know I feel  sort of you’ve done a great job of wrapping it all  

1:56:19up um I’ve talked a lot you know there’s always  going to be more but I just hope that yeah I just  

1:56:26keep doing what you’re doing and and and don’t  don’t stop because I think this is the key to  

1:56:33so much it’s like the key that we’re not will  unlock all the secrets you know and we have it  

1:56:39now yes we have to take our power back in we’ll do  it yeah well I will link all of your stuff below  

1:56:50and for people listening no matter what platform  you’re on Spotify or apple or YouTube or [ __ ]  

1:56:55you just go into the show notes really easy and  then all the links should just highlight for you   so you can literally just click it so please  go support and get her book go follow her on  

1:57:05social media I’ll have all of that linked below  reach out to her tell her she’s amazing because   she is and go support her let her know she’s loved  and that we have eyes on her um and thank you guys  

1:57:15for supporting this show you know it means the  world to me I always say I didn’t realize when I  

1:57:20started this that it would be just so impactful  for me and then for a lot of you and it’s still  

1:57:26such a little show but having all of your support  means the world to me and I know it’s before it’s   time and my hope is years down the road it’s  a really valuable resource for people to learn  

1:57:35about the world from people like Ann so please  share this episode subscribe support us I’ll  

1:57:40also have my links below so you guys can go follow  me on social media and I really appreciate your   guys’s support so with that being said Thank you  guys God bless you and we will see you next week

English

Fiona Barnett Seattle Presentation 2016

Fiona Barnett’s 2016 Seattle Conference Presentation – Military Mind Control and Integration Process and Transcript

Military Mind Control and Integration Process

2023 Mar 6 Odysee Fiona Barnett’s 2016 Seattle Conference Presentation [1]

Links

[1] 2023 Mar 6 Odysee Fiona Barnett’s 2016 Seattle conference presentation https://odysee.com/@FoxesAmazingChannel:8/fiona-barnetts-seattle-conference-presentation:a #fionabarnett

Transcript

0:00 hi I’m Fiona Barnett I’m going to talk about military mind control and the integration process I’m sharing the

0:08 content of a presentation that I gave in

0:13 Seattle last October it was a conference

0:18 on trauma and dissociation I also gave this presentation to a group of

0:26 therapists in Alaska and to some retired police officers who specialized in

0:33 ritual abuse it was well-received and

0:40 people asked me to record this information in some way to write a book

0:46 etc and I thought the best way that I can share it is through a YouTube

0:52 recording my first became inundated with contact from victims of various types of

1:00 child abuse after I attended a press conference in Sydney 14 months ago since

1:08 then I have been asked for information advice regarding how to integrate

1:17 following the dissociation that occurs when somebody has been severely

1:22 traumatized I can’t keep up with the

1:28 number of requests for assistance so it’s best that I share this information

1:37 in this YouTube presentation I went to

1:45 America not just to speak at a conference but to find some answers I went looking for some experts that we

1:52 could bring back to Australia to advise Australian therapists on how to treat

1:59 ritual abuse and mind control unfortunately what I found was that the

2:05 big names over there in American Canada are fakes it seems that the false memory

2:10 foundation successfully shut down all treatment and

2:18 even recognition of the true net causes of severe di D within the therapeutic

2:25 community and therapists are no longer trained in successful treatment methods

2:33 in fact what they tend to do is focus on

2:40 becoming familiar with a di D clients

2:45 different fractions or different personalities and the problem with that

2:50 is when you have a thousand personalities within a client that’s

2:57 going to take a lot of sessions to become familiar with those various

3:04 personalities and it’s counterproductive counter therapeutic and I found people

3:10 who had been in therapy for twenty years and they were no better off than when

3:16 they first started what this told me was

3:22 that therapists are absolutely clueless as to what they’re working with they

3:28 they have no idea and I had one therapist for example at the end of my

3:34 conference presentation she came out of the room furious at my talk and somebody

3:41 said to her what are you angry about and she said I’m so angry I’m so angry dee had found his talk she said I’m so angry

3:48 that no one has ever told me that information before and what I thought was a no-brainer was quite obvious

3:55 turned out to be unknown over there now

4:00 I found out my information not through my training I received formal training

4:07 in art psychotherapy and psychology and whatever and I can tell you now what

4:14 I’ve learned did not come from that training so it seems like in America two

4:20 people are not being trained in the correct model

4:25 when it comes to working with dissociative identity disorder I’m going

4:32 to talk about mind control and ritual abuse in Australia and how therapists

4:39 came to be so ineffective in treating victims who have gone through this and

4:45 the resultant dissociative identity disorder then I’ll talk about the

4:51 programming process that I experienced now really all programming is a

4:58 variation on a theme and it’s influenced by the individual victims imagination so

5:06 no two victims are ever going to be alike the other thing is that some

5:14 victims are abused on more homemade

5:21 equipment whereas others if they’re abused in a military environment are

5:26 abused using more sophisticated techniques and equipment but it’s you

5:34 have to remember that it’s all quite similar and the victim will always gain something or see something similar in

5:42 another victims story then I’m going to talk about the integration process how I

5:47 actually integrated so how I overcame the forced dissociation that I’m going

5:54 to talk briefly about the pros and cons of successful integration so to start

6:02 with let’s have a look at the history of MKULTRA and ritual abuse in Australia

6:10 MKULTRA is not a conspiracy theory it is provable fact the American Library of

6:18 Congress houses a report which resulted

6:24 from the 1977 Senate committee inquiry into MKULTRA and the unethical

6:32 experimentation on u.s. citizens similarly Australia hosted a number of

6:38 MKULTRA sub projects Sydney University for example conducted sub project number

6:45 84 in 1960 under dr. Martin on he was a CIA operative and the resultant

6:53 publication that you can look up and read yourself was called social control

6:58 in the psychological experiment antisocial behavior and hypnosis now there’s a number of sites around

7:04 Australia where victims were recruited from and where they were abused so a

7:11 primary place of experimentation was holes where the army base and next door

7:17 to holes with it was look as a Heights nuclear reactor these are underground facilities six seven stories deep and

7:24 joined by an underground tunnel Lucas Heights nuclear reactor was a scientific

7:29 research centre that’s where they manufacture the isotopes that were used in cognitive experimentation and other

7:37 types of experiments to do with MKULTRA the information gathered from holes worthy and Lucas Heights ended up at

7:43 Pine Gap which is a CIA deep underground facility situated in the desert in the

7:50 middle of Australia other facilities include various psychiatric hospitals

7:56 including johns furred private hospital that’s the most notorious that hit the news in the 80s

8:01 Chelmsford was the center of deep sleep programs which was similar to what you

8:09 and Cameron did over in America now dr. Harry Bailey was an associate of young

8:16 Cameron and he was CIA funded to conduct dreadful experiments on victims at

8:25 transferred hospital where he raped and electrocuted and murdered multiple

8:31 victims under the influence of heavy sedation he committed suicide after one

8:40 one of the victims tried to sue him and basically that victim is a friend of

8:47 mine and she only spent gosh a fortnight in the hospital and she came out with one leg

8:54 shrunken to almost half its normal size and with severe brain damage due to the

9:02 electric shocks that she received while she was drugged and it seems that she

9:08 was assaulted by Harry Bailey as well so that was her in a hospital

9:14 situated on sort of the northern side of Sydney other locations of abuse that I

9:22 experienced were fair Bain Air Force Base in Parliament House they’re located in Canberra now fair Bain Air Force Base

9:29 is where Air Force One flies into and I was assaulted in the back of a US military plane by former President

9:37 Richard Nixon I also was prostituted at a young age to Parliament House and to

9:45 paedophile orgies attended by former prime ministers including Gough Whitlam

9:51 and Bob Hawke now centers of recruitment in Australia include Freemason lodges

10:00 say the children of Freemasons Boys Town

10:05 Center’s and they have were centers run by the Catholic Church so you had anger

10:13 Dean Boystown was Australia’s first Boys Town and that’s a centre at which many kids were recruited for ritual abuse and

10:21 mind-control experiments and a lot of kids went in there and they would they weren’t missed and they were they never

10:27 came out again and that’s like had it at Inger Dean which is next door to the

10:32 suburb where you will find holds within Lucas Heights nuclear reactor so

10:38 Catholic churches are a very common recruitment ground for victims of ritual abuse of mind control and so are

10:45 Hillsong churches now the founder of Hillsong Frank Houston was outed as a

10:52 pedophile and once he was outed his church Christian Life Center splintered

11:00 and was renamed Hillsong Hillsong is has never been Christian it

11:05 is a child sex trafficking branch that’s all it is that’s all it ever will be and if you’re in Hillsong you really need to

11:12 leave if you think you’re a Christian every time a church plays any of Hell

11:18 songs rock music or you know even uses their copyrighted music to play in the

11:25 church band they are financing child sex trafficking and kiddie porn snuff film

11:32 making there they are financing the child sex trafficking industry and that that can’t

11:39 be debated one of my key perpetrators was dr. Leo Nesbitt ruscus he was a

11:45 Lithuanian Nazi position he was a good friend of my Lithuanian Nazi war

11:51 criminal grandmother Helen hallo Zack and her partner Peter hollers AK who

11:57 liked to kill Jews for a living in Lublin a death camp from the east side

12:02 of Poland Patricius and my grandparents all lived in the same suburb of Inga D

12:11 which is south of Sydney and that’s where Leonys actually worked at Inga

12:16 Deane medical center along with another perpetrator John Mel off and Mel off had

12:24 contacts with hulls were the army base and they also worked with the dr. grey but dr. grey was quite kind to me you

12:31 know I don’t really have anything negative to say about him a good friend of Leone’s Petraeus was antony Kidman

12:38 and they studied together at Sydney University at the same time entity Kidman is the father of Nicole Kidman

12:45 the actress and Tina Kidman was a psychologist and biochemist he trained

12:53 in mind control abuse techniques under John Gidding er the CIA psychologist and

13:00 he was probably the greatest psychologist that ever worked for the

13:07 CIA he was an absolute expert in personality and IQ and a genius when it came to

13:14 assessing children he was also a rampant pedophile all these men were pedophiles

13:19 Leona’s Petrarchan and antony Kidman were Luciferian priests high priests so

13:24 Petraeus was in charge of the in getting Boystown Lucifer and diocese and Anthony

13:31 Kidman was in charge of the Luciferian group that congregated at Sydney

13:38 University usually in the Great Hall at that University and that’s where they conducted Luciferian murders and rituals

13:44 you have to understand that Nazism was a

13:51 religion as well there was a religious cult that underpinned Nazism and at the

13:57 height of Nazism they actually conducted Luciferian rituals in the streets of

14:02 Germany in broad daylight as we know at

14:10 the end of World War two the Nazi scientists were granted asylum in Russia

14:16 America Brazil on the condition that they continued their work so under

14:23 paperclip in America the scientists went on to work for NASA on their rocket

14:31 technology etc and under the CIA and their funding they went to continue

14:39 their Nazi eugenics work and their experimentations on mind-control and

14:45 their super soldier project I understood it as the Jason project that was the

14:51 name that getting a referred to basically the Super Soldier project involved the military application of all

14:59 this technology to enhance the capabilities of a soldier so to enhance

15:06 their intellect I mean the best spy is

15:12 somebody doesn’t know they’re a spy so there they were using dissociation techniques to create this perfect spy

15:19 they were enhancing soldiers ability to go without sleep or to withstand pay

15:27 so this was the objective now an offshoot if that was the Pygmalion

15:33 project which is a gender reassignment project so changing the the gender of a

15:40 child in utero and this reminds me of this push for gender free toilets in

15:50 which children could be abused so there’s such an emphasis on on you know

15:56 trends gender people and their welfare and yet there’s no concern displayed by

16:04 the government for victims of international child sex trafficking in VIP pedophilia public denial of the

16:16 existence of ritual abuse and mind control in Australia was secured by the would Royal Commission this was a New

16:23 South Wales state royal commission that occurred in the mid 1990s and it was

16:31 overseen by royal commissioner James Wood who was a lawyer and would help to

16:41 establish the myth of false memory and the notion that the satanic panic was to

16:49 blame for multiple victims like myself coming out and saying hey there are

16:55 Luciferians conducting you know rituals and murders on children that they’ve

17:04 abducted and all bred for that purpose and that they are feeding victims into

17:12 these MKULTRA experiments so would

17:17 basically concluded in his report that these allegations which were multiple

17:23 and came from diverse sources were the result of attention seeking hysterical

17:28 women that that’s interesting because most of the victims that I’ve spoken to and the ones that have been reported in

17:34 mainstream media are men he said that they are the result of

17:40 over-enthusiastic therapists who like to implant false memories in their clients

17:47 this is just a lie also he depended for evidence to support

17:58 his conclusion on the lives of Elizabeth Loftus basically Commissioner wood

18:06 misrepresented Loftus book as scientific evidence there was no peer-reviewed

18:14 research to support Loftus as theories and you know the sorts of experiments

18:21 that were conducted later on to Sokol support her theories were experiments

18:30 involving say 30 young female psychology students who all came from the same

18:36 white middle-class background all attended the same class and they were

18:42 asked to imagine themselves falling through a plate-glass window and this the the outcome of these so-called

18:51 experiments was supposed to be compared to and generalized to a population of

19:00 the most traumatized child abuse victims spread across the world and it was just

19:08 ludicrous if any first-year psychology student tried to say that that was

19:13 scientific evidence they would fail it

19:21 makes sense that Commissioner James Wood would draw those conclusions considering

19:27 multiple victims have named him as a perpetrator to the current Australian

19:35 child abuse Royal Commission

19:41 justise woods was named by for example Dean Henry in his statement that he made

19:49 imprison to the current Royal Commission I know a number of other people who told

19:57 me about his antics and he actually adopted a Eurasian child who was

20:05 overdosed at the age of 14 after the child sex trafficking ring had finished

20:11 using her this man needs to be thoroughly investigated thanks to

20:19 Commissioner James Wood we have a situation in Australia where victims of

20:24 richly boosts and mind control and who suffer di D symptomology cannot access

20:32 appropriate and successful assessment and treatment methods all Australian

20:39 institutions have now been infiltrated by people who are either ignorant of

20:49 best practice or they are perpetrators of ritual abuse and mind-control and

20:59 they work for the child sex trafficking network you wouldn’t know this or unless

21:08 you had lived it and experienced it firsthand at these institutions so these institutions include universities and

21:16 hospitals mental health facilities you

21:22 know even private psychology and psychiatric clinics they’ve all been

21:27 infiltrated and you know them by their fruits you know them by their words and their

21:34 actions and so it may take some time to discover that an individual is being

21:44 deceitful in their relationship with clientele so Australian universities

21:51 generally take a strong anti victim Pro pedophilia approach

21:56 in their teachings they will emphasize elizabeth loftus

22:02 writings they will mock students who take a pro victim approach they will

22:12 mark them down in their assignments they will basically teach students the right

22:19 way to think which is anti victim Pro pedophilia through their marking through

22:24 their assessment and then if students don’t conform they will be failed or

22:29 there would just be targeted and set up for removal from not just the university

22:35 but from the industry from the health industries you have a great example in

22:43 bond University they very much push

22:49 Elizabeth Loftus as work and they have

22:55 lecturers who have published pro pedophilia material on the university’s

23:00 website he had for example professor Paul Wilson who wrote articles

23:06 supporting the notion that children are not harmed by child sexual abuse and

23:13 instead they are willing participants Paul Wilson was recently convicted of

23:20 child sexual abuse of a girl under the age of 12 and sentenced he has such a

23:29 long line of victims waiting up to prosecute him that he will spend the rest of his days in court or in prison

23:35 I’ve been told so this is an example of the type of lecturer that you have at

23:42 bond University but you also have them in other universities I mean Paul Wilson back in the 80s lectured at University

23:49 of Queensland and he showed the end of a kiddie porn snuff film to a class of

23:54 what became psychologists and I’ve spoken to one of those witnesses Paul

24:02 Wilson also tried to organize the conference at University of Queensland

24:07 which was supporting pedophilia and trying to make out that it was similar to the gay

24:17 lifestyle and should be socially acceptable you have these sorts of

24:22 lecturers at other universities in Melbourne and New South Wales and New South Wales University and in other

24:29 universities that have come out in the mainstream media even recently while the Royal Commission has been going on

24:35 there’s been a bit of mainstream media attention paid to to these sorts of people so generally mental health practitioners

24:44 in Australia are not trained in ritual abuse and mind control they instead

24:51 encourage to mock people who say they have experienced these things this type

24:58 of abuse and to diagnose them as psychotic or delusional you have

25:06 organizations that set the ethical standards for Australian health

25:12 practitioners they’ve been any sorts of treatment methods that might assist the clients such as the APS will be in

25:19 integration methods and they do that through their emphasis on Elizabeth

25:25 Loftus as work and false memory writings and telling psychologists that they must

25:32 never suggest that the client might have been abused you have a ban on techniques

25:43 that work for example within New South Wales victim services they been EMDR and this isn’t probably the most effective

25:50 method for dealing with trauma that the

25:55 person has naturally dissociated from because it was just too extreme or they

26:01 were forced to dissociate from the person was traumatized to induce

26:08 dissociation and EMDR is probably the most you know desirable technique to use

26:16 on those victims we do know how to do that in your South Wales if you’re a psychologist a psychiatrist you’re not

26:21 allowed to work with clients using that effective tool so instead of methods that work like in

26:31 dr MK ULTRA theory and abuse techniques

26:36 dominate mental health and i will discuss that in more depth later it’s

26:45 now I’m going to talk about the programming process as I said all mind

26:51 control is simply a variation on a basic theme everybody’s experience is a little

26:58 bit different it’s shaped by the child’s imagination and by the level of

27:07 sophistication and advanced technology

27:13 that’s been employed so where I might have been abused at fair bein on a you

27:22 know contraption that was designed to train pilots to withstand g-force

27:27 somebody else might have been tied to a homemade pig on a spit style implement

27:35 you know for spinning but the end result was the same we will both spun to help

27:42 split the brain and you know bring about dissociation and memory loss the most

27:54 important variable to understand when you’re working with military mind

28:00 control and high-enriched lab use is IQ this is the most basic characteristic

28:11 that a an abuser is looking for so when

28:16 it comes to MKULTRA and they were looking to enhance the natural abilities

28:23 of soldiers so a soldier’s natural cognitive ability how do we enhance that

28:29 how do we enhance their memory that sort of thing then what they’re what they’re going to be interested in is IQ

28:36 now people have extremely strong

28:43 misconceptions of IQ what it actually is and how legitimate these tests are

28:50 people have been basically brainwashed with false information and what you’ll

28:55 commonly hear from people is Oh what matters is EQ well no when you apply for

29:03 the army the first thing they do is IQ test you and the reason they’re doing

29:10 that is because they do not want someone with an IQ of 70 in charge of a tank so

29:16 the military understanding the importance of IQ and indeed that’s why these tests were first developed for

29:22 selecting people for various ranks in the military and now these IQ tests are

29:30 very accurate when I say they’re accurate I mean they are very good at

29:37 identifying people who have superior cognitive ability now that means that

29:45 they are intellectually intelligent or academically intelligent okay and just

29:53 as a child might inherit their parents

29:58 physical attributes their physical looks and their personality traits so – a

30:04 child inherits their parents brain structure and function so IQ is nothing

30:11 more than a person’s brain structure and function so if a person has higher IQ

30:20 what they actually have is a denser and more interconnected brain ok so

30:27 information is absorbed more quickly processed more quickly it travels around the brain more quickly and they react to

30:34 incoming stimuli and more quickly so if you puff someone’s eye with air they’re

30:42 going to close their eye now somebody who has higher IQ or a faster brain

30:49 going to react more quickly to that puff of air on their eye that’s why there’s a

30:56 perfect correlation between scores on a comprehensive measure of IQ and

31:03 someone’s reaction time speed okay their speed with which they you know react to

31:11 incoming stimuli such as you know a puff of air on an eye and also what you be

31:19 getting these days is there’s more cognitive scanning so people are using

31:26 you know functional MRIs and that sort of thing to examine someone’s brain and

31:32 what parts of their brain light up when they are performing cognitive tasks and

31:37 once again there’s a perfect correlation between scores on IQ tests and their performance or you know what is observed

31:47 on these objective scans so people who

31:53 score more highly on comprehensive IQ tests when they are observed performing

32:02 cognitive tasks through functional MRIs both sides of their brains light up

32:08 whereas somebody who’s just scores average on one of these IQ tests only

32:13 one side of their brain lights up when they’re performing that task so people

32:18 can laugh and poopoo and say oh oh everyone’s gifted and you know everyone’s gifted at something and people could be gifted at dancing and

32:25 all the sudden that’s not what we’re talking about yeah every child’s valuable and everyone’s good at something or they have potential in one

32:32 area more than others that’s not what we’re talking about and that’s not what the military is talking about and that’s

32:38 not kidding I was talking about all acting on so we have IQ measures and the

32:46 best measure of potentials so someone’s cognitive potential was the

32:52 stanford-binet LM and we’ve got a photo of that right here now the S be LM still

33:00 remains the best test of type there the revisions of this test and not as good

33:07 they just haven’t come up with anything that’s as as as good as this test but

33:13 also getting her would use this test but it would also employ mainly the block design from the Wechsler series because

33:20 the block design the you know the one with the little red and white blocks still remains the best measure of visual

33:28 spatial processing that is in existence now generally this stanford-binet LM

33:34 tests that we’re looking at here it was a fantastic measure of visual spatial processing so when you combine this test

33:42 with the Westlaw block design you’ve got a great measure of visual spatial processing and the reason for that is

33:48 because the most important type of IQ is

33:54 visual spatial IQ that’s what they’re most interested in when they’re looking for MKULTRA subjects the reason for this

34:01 is because visual spatial IQ is most

34:09 desirable when you are training someone to split when you are forcibly

34:15 dissociating their mind and I’ll talk about that a bit more now the other variable that’s very

34:21 important after IQ is creativity now creativity is not correlated with IQ

34:27 this means there’s no relationship between the two so which means there’s no guarantee that if someone has IQ that

34:34 they’re creative so when you’re looking for subjects for these military programs

34:40 you’re after IQ high IQ you’re after in particular high visual spatial

34:46 processing IQ and you’re after creativity so that narrows down the

34:51 group of kids that you got to choose from so the other variable that getting AI was looking for his intuition some

34:58 call it psychic ability now the Russians were very much into weaponizing psychic ability and this is well documented make

35:05 of that what you will then you’ve got psychological resilience is what they’re looking for they were also looking for

35:12 Aryan appearance so that’s the blue-eyed blonde kids they’re looking for a flawless physique

35:18 you’re not allowed to have one defect on you and that includes skin defects scars

35:23 anything like that and they were looking and testing for physical strength and

35:28 stamina so they put they put kids through comprehensive physical examination and test of endurance etc

35:37 put them on treadmills and they’re also looking for you know similarly they test

35:42 them for psychological resilience through the wall getting a made up a whole bunch of tests that were good for

35:48 that so this is the selection process that I went through now in terms of

35:54 intuition they preferred females for this they found that they were more had more of

36:01 what they are after so you make of that what you will

36:07 now I mentioned visuospatial IQ people can score say about 150 say on the

36:17 modern tests okay one person might score 150 and have a very high visuospatial IQ

36:25 measure and then there the other fluid reasoning will be much lower and then the other personal score the same on the

36:32 same test but they’re flawed reasoning would be very high and the visuospatial IQ will be very low so what that

36:37 indicates is and what these tests are great at identifying is which side of the brain is dominant which or you know

36:43 does the person have a visual spatial learning preference now it’s imperative

36:49 that the person be a visual spatial type

36:54 of child or visual spatial learner because this allows them to do a number

37:01 of things which in a more superior way then someone who is not and that allows

37:07 them to better think in pictures so what you might not realize is that some

37:13 people think in words and some people think in pictures so when you have a conversation with with a visual spatial

37:20 dominant person as you talk they will turn that speech into a movie in their

37:26 head and then they will that will be unforgettable in their

37:32 minds so they actually have a greater capacity or potential for photographic memory and this is very useful as we

37:40 will discuss later they have quicker reflexes because of their ability to visually scanned and process incoming

37:48 visual stimuli they think quickly under pressure they have fantastic hand-eye

37:53 coordination they’re able to synthesize seemingly unrelated pieces of information so they’re able to see

38:00 patterns amongst you know a whole bunch of info they have strong abstract

38:06 thinking ability they are able to read micro facial expressions and they are fantastic at foreign language

38:12 acquisition for more information go and see the world expert on this and that is Linda Silverman she’s got a whole bunch

38:18 of free information on her gifted Development Center site now when we talk

38:24 there about micro facial expressions this translates into a really good

38:30 ability to anticipate other people’s thoughts or reactions and they also a very good at lie detection so at

38:37 university there were classes in micro facial expression reading and all this other stuff well you don’t need to do

38:42 that if your high visual spatial IQ you naturally do that so when we consider

38:50 visual spacial IQ we can see how that

38:55 ability can translate into a number of useful skills within a military setting so people who are high on visual spatial

39:03 IQ a are usually better at code breaking research intelligence gathering driving

39:11 shooting a weapon architecture physics and computer programming it’s

39:17 interesting how Martin Bryant who supposedly achieved this phenomenal

39:25 headshot rate at the Port Arthur massacre he supposedly had an IQ of only

39:34 100 of only 60 when the average is 100 so that places him as in the mentally category

39:41 it’s just actually physically and statistically impossible for Martin Bryant to have done what authorities say

39:47 he did down there and perhaps the nurse who went around Australia’s saying that

39:53 she witnessed Navy SEALs come out of the ocean and gunned everyone down maybe there’s something to what she said MPD

40:05 or multiple personality disorder is a term that’s not really used anymore it’s now being replaced by D ID or

40:11 dissociative identity disorder MPD it’s it’s really a dirty word it implies that

40:19 somebody has multiple personalities and that they’re a raving lunatic and it’s

40:25 not an indication of of the truth di D

40:31 is simply where somebody’s natural ability to dissociate has been called

40:41 into play so somebody who may have a car

40:47 accident and they go through the front windscreen of the car they the brain has an unnatural shutdown mechanism so the

40:54 person doesn’t actually remember going through the windscreen they might remember before going through the

40:59 windscreen they might remember the ambulance ride or arriving at the hospital but they it’s just simply too much and it’s too overwhelming for the

41:07 person to remember going through the windscreen now this natural ability to dissociate during extreme trauma well

41:16 that’s the very thing that the Nazis were learning to manipulate now remember they had N equals 6 million subjects no

41:23 ethical committee to curb their their

41:29 behavior so in a very short amount of time they learn a lot about the human brain and this information has never

41:36 really been made public it was became military secrets and passed on to the

41:43 Russian and American military now I like to refer to forced Association so that’s

41:51 a an intentional manipulation of the brains natural ability to dissociate I

41:57 like to refer to it as trauma induced structured dissociation so it’s very intentional it’s very deliberate it’s

42:03 very well planned and it’s highly accurate now so I see it as best being

42:12 considered as memory and behavior compartmentalization so the brain if you

42:21 could take a look at it is actually physically compartmentalized so what

42:27 they do is they deliberately cut new neural pathways in the brain or they

42:32 deliberately close ones that pre-exists it ok now we can think a number of

42:40 modern Minds people who influenced

42:47 psychology and psychiatry for this information so in Russia you had Pavlov

42:54 who and who came up with his classical conditioning theory but beyond that

43:01 everyone else who’s a major name in modern psychology and behavioral

43:06 psychology really they were on the CIA payroll and they were contributing to

43:12 the MKULTRA body of knowledge so we can thank Seligman for his information on

43:20 trauma and learn helplessness Balby contributed attachment theory and Skinner contributed his information or

43:30 his knowledge of conditioning he expanded on Pavlov’s work so basically

43:36 we have this neural pathway creation and

43:41 closure and what that is is the physical

43:46 splitting of the brain as I said in the hemispheres so you can achieve a

43:52 splitting of the brain through various means so they use drugs and they use hypnosis and they use spinning a big

44:00 thing they did with spin kids and as a result you might have certain

44:07 symptoms like our conversions disorder or vestibular disorder or vestibular problems now to maintain those neural

44:14 pathways victims have to be realized continually otherwise those pathways

44:20 will naturally go back to their natural state and that’s why victims you will

44:26 see people will call them chip magnets but really it is very structured and

44:32 planned that members of the international trafficking network will

44:39 be employed to say moving next door to the person and continually harass them

44:44 or come into their lives or pretend to make friends with them and you know it’s very much like from the movie Total

44:51 Recall with Arnie Schwarzenegger where he had a friend who was there trying to

44:57 influence him to you know not take a certain path in life that might trigger

45:04 his memories of things that they had intentionally made him dissociate from

45:14 the best way to understand dissociation and integration is to think of the brain

45:21 as a computer and that’s what Jon getting here used to say to me the brain is like a computer and this

45:27 was when I was a little kitten didn’t know really know what a computer was and it was until the advent of you know pcs

45:32 that I could really understand what it was talking about but that’s what it’s like the brain is like a computer so if

45:41 the brain is like a computer dissociation can be viewed as a filing system the computer filing system so the

45:49 perpetrators create multiple files and occult ritual is performed at the

45:55 creation of each file so I remember it holds worthy and Lucas Heights them

46:01 doing things like I would be chanted at by you know scientists in in white

46:09 jackets and they would play on a synthesizer up and down the octave no

46:16 spirit no the spirit no the spirit no this spirit over and over and over and then they would chant at me different

46:24 things like cartoon based chants and

46:31 themes so Batman they would chant at me number six number six what do we have at

46:36 number six number six have has lots of tricks there are six spirits at number

46:42 six and so they would actually perform a ritual at their creation of each file and sort of chant the name of a an

46:52 ancient God or what you would call a pagan God or you know what Christians

46:58 would call it a demonic entity or you know a Nephilim whatever and now chant

47:04 that and that was supposed to cement through employment of like a spiritual

47:13 cement that was supposed to secure the program you know I don’t know why that

47:20 works but that’s what they believed so then a password or a trigger would be

47:26 attached to each file so that they were able to retrieve the file with just a word or a hand signal you know some

47:32 music and image so when when kids are programmed Walt Disney was a pedophile a

47:39 lot of his movies are MKULTRA programming tools so every time a child

47:47 watches Peter Pan or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty or Wizard of Oz or

47:52 whatever ask something like that that reinforces the programming and keeps

47:57 those neural pathways closed and open as they desire so we’re here we have the

48:10 structure of my programming this

48:15 structure is based on the Freemason Eastern star Antony Kidman created this

48:22 and it was flawed this is why my programming broke down

48:28 Anthony Kidman was murdered or told to

48:34 suicide when I reported him to the New

48:40 South Wales Health Board I wasn’t the only victim of his abuse that had reported him and the board

48:46 immediately acted on my report and he was dead within two months he died under

48:51 suspicious circumstances in Singapore after he had been placed on suicide

48:57 watch a member of Nicole caiman security team became a paparazzi and he still had

49:04 contacts with his mates on the security team and of course they blabbed and that

49:11 told various other journalists that you know Kidman was placed on suicide watch

49:17 immediately after my report to the Health Board so he filed and the penalty

49:24 for exposure and failure is death you know these pedophiles think they’re

49:29 untouchable and they live like they are and until they stuff up and then they

49:35 find out they’re mortal and dispensable so this programming I I honest to

49:42 goodness don’t understand this programming to me this doesn’t make sense I thought Anthony Kidman was a bit of an

49:49 idiot it wasn’t a genius like getting her and obviously this is why and where

49:55 it all broke down so you have the red of the pentagram and within that arm

50:03 contained experiences of murder and Luciferian ritual and orgies and

50:10 horrible you know terrible things that they did to kids in that in that hunt

50:17 behind that door and then you have behind the green door you had well I

50:24 suppose academic training and ability and enhanced abilities so I I did have

50:31 photographic memory I was like a human tape recorder and I lost that ability as

50:38 I integrated I still have superior Emory compared to the average person and

50:44 that was proven through cognitive testing a few years ago but nothing like

50:51 what it was and then behind another door you have for some reason hypnosis is on

50:58 its own I don’t understand why but there you’ve got me dressed as a candy girl now the door you’ve got drugs that must

51:05 be the programming that was caused through drug abuse and then another behind another door you have training

51:14 the soldier training I went through so I actually was put through full military training which I’ll just little talk

51:20 about a little bit more later now when I

51:27 integrated one of the last steps of my integration was being the gatekeeper in

51:34 the middle who had access to all these doors and it was the most remarkable experience of my life it was like being

51:42 in a matrix movie where Keanu Reeves I think was at the second movie where he’s he’s standing in the doorways in the

51:51 hallway which you know contained a

51:57 number of doors that led to various parts of the virtual reality programming and it was white but in my mind

52:03 everything was black yet I could and it was just like in a movie I could walk

52:10 and open all the doors up and I did open every door and I said this is what I saw I just drew what I saw and I saw all

52:15 these people come out so the mind is an absolutely phenomenal thing and no one

52:23 can really understand it we all pretend we know but we don’t its experiences

52:30 like these that make you realize there’s more to life and death than what we hear

52:35 about on TV you know there’s more to life than Kim Kardashian’s buck implants

52:45 so here is some examples of what they

52:50 did to bring about the dissociation process so the first steps

52:58 before they got to that pentagram structure was the implementation of

53:04 baldies theory of attachment so thanks to Balby here we have what they did to

53:12 me and this was to destroy my natural attachment to my mother and never mind

53:17 what people say and don’t worry about equal rights of the sexes it’s the mother that has the greatest influence

53:24 on the child and that’s why they target the mother in this attachment violation

53:30 process so these people they don’t care about term what’s politically correct they just care about what works so

53:37 mm-hmm they basically electrocuted me and

53:44 destroyed my natural affection for my mother and that was never really

53:50 repaired to be honest and then thanks to

53:56 those Skinner and and the like the

54:02 implementation of conditioning theory they paired mummy with vomiting so here

54:07 we have getting a feeling the epic hack until I vomited blood yeah it wasn’t

54:15 much fun either so I’m only about five when they did this and thanks to Seligman we have the

54:23 the learned helplessness theory being implemented and remember Seligman’s did

54:29 experiments with dogs on an electric grid and they electrocuted the dog until

54:36 the dog gave up and that’s what they’re bringing about they’re bringing about a

54:41 white whiting of the mind and blinging bringing it back to a blank state where

54:48 it is like a clean pallet ready to be brainwashed with whatever they want so

54:54 again you know I was electrocuted till I

55:03 just gave up and dissociated from the pain so after they destroyed my

55:13 natural attachment to my mother then I was reattached to a substitute mother in

55:21 this case it was Veronica or Ronny as I knew her and she was the grand dame of

55:27 my area you do hear fret spring Mayer in

55:33 his writings refer to the grand dame in the role of the grand dame and that’s

55:38 the only place I think I’ve ever seen anything like what I experienced in fact

55:44 there’s only two people whose works I’ve found useful in my life and that was Fritz bring Meijer work and there’s

55:51 another person called Carol ruts and she wrote a number of papers and tests to do

56:00 with ritual abuse or extreme trauma surveys and what they say in those

56:08 documents is consistent with my experience in Sydney so veronica was

56:15 based at Sydney University she lived in Sancta Sofia College and

56:22 she was in charge of the girls who studied and lived there

56:28 she was very high q– she was very refined she was my teacher and my

56:39 confidante and she supervised me and she mediated between men and the dirty filthy pedo men that dominated the well

56:51 the system people say what do you call it well we knew it as the order or the

56:59 family I was led to believe that these people were my real family instead of my

57:05 actual mother and this woman are

57:11 subjected me to child sexual abuse and so when I was 14 I was forced to from an

57:20 early age abuses you and but despite that she was

57:26 a genuine friend that I had she was a very nice person and she herself was a

57:33 victim who was forced into a perpetrators role and when I was 14 she

57:38 she chose to die she couldn’t take it anymore she couldn’t take what they did

57:44 to kids like me and she said I was the final straw and she just checked out

57:50 though the best way she knew and she used to call me her little anomaly so I

57:57 think I did have a big influence on her and her decision to check out so this is

58:07 another phase in the programming process the employment of virtual reality programming I was you know made to wear

58:18 virtual reality goggles this is at different ages this occurred I shove something in my right ear

58:24 in fact my right ear never recovered it was always had problems in ear aches in

58:29 that ear which I well remember and I was

58:36 made to watch horrendous scenes in fact

58:42 you know one time I found on YouTube the very video that I was made to watch when

58:48 I was a kid and I’ve never seen it since but it was the actual video that they used to play and someone uploaded it to

58:55 YouTube and it was just pictures of like war and nuclear bombs going off and dead

59:01 things and murders and horrendous rapes and tortures of animals and screaming bunnies and things like that it was

59:08 awful and and I think the the impact of

59:14 that and in that electric heat at the same time and that was to overwhelm me and you know to flood me with sensory

59:23 input so after they destroyed my

59:29 attachment to my mother and you know wiped my previous programming which comes from

59:36 general life and a fairly normal looking upbringing they replace that with other

59:43 things so sexual abuse was used to replace that which they destroyed and

59:53 loved there was a perversion of natural affection one of their virtual reality

1:00:04 programs was candy land and I actually saw the tape that they had and it had

1:00:10 disney copyright disney written on the tape and i don’t know how this happened

1:00:17 and as a kid i didn’t understand but i was able to walk through the program

1:00:23 with getting up were both able to participate in the program I mean I used to think God did they make a giant set

1:00:30 with all these you know giant candy canes and a castle and everything but I mean now as technology advances and the

1:00:40 mainstream public have access to this information that they had many decades

1:00:45 ago I can see no probably was virtual reality so once they’d stripped me of my

1:00:53 sense of self and who I had been raised as they have to replace that with ego so

1:01:03 your sense of self is replaced with pride in your genetics in your IQ in

1:01:10 your royal bloodline I was also a candidate for Grand Dean so I was actually raised to be a candidate for

1:01:18 taking Veronica’s place when she died so I asked cold things like the chosen one

1:01:25 royalty special year of the ruling class and you’ll see other victims when you swap stories with them you’ll they’ve

1:01:33 been told seem like crap as I said I was

1:01:39 put through full military training he’s included being made to say joke

1:01:47 hours until I went beyond the pain threshold and dissociated I’d have a dog

1:01:54 chasing me and I was told by Colonel Chen who was an Asian with an Asian

1:02:00 accent but in Australian military uniform he told me if I didn’t stop

1:02:05 running the dog would would get me and raped me and you know chew me up so of

1:02:10 course I ran and I went beyond the pain threshold and dissociated and you know

1:02:16 that’s where I went into a state of

1:02:21 floating it felt like I was floating and then I could go on forever I could just run and run and run till

1:02:28 maybe till I dropped dead I don’t know but I was exposed to sensory deprivation

1:02:34 as part of this training I was kept in a cavern for days I was kept in isolation

1:02:41 I was then paired with murdered with kids that were later murdered so I was

1:02:46 bonded with children and then they were brutally slaughtered in front of me and

1:02:52 this was all part of their training now this Colonel chained

1:02:58 he was accountable and anybody who knows anything about these Luciferian pedophiles will know that they are all

1:03:08 interconnected logo which supposedly was

1:03:13 devised through a competition so people that to come up with a competition

1:03:19 symbol or you know illustration and this was the Willing winning entrant ass load

1:03:25 of rubbish because I remember before that competition I remember Chen having a very sharp Asian style implement and

1:03:32 it looked like this was in this shape so that was their health battalion logo in the halls where the army so yeah so

1:03:43 after they did the basic programming they would bring me in for regular maintenance so whenever I went to my

1:03:49 grandparents place I was taken over to Hall’s worthy or whatever and one time

1:03:57 they had trouble with my heart they were saying they’re saying that my heart was

1:04:04 acting independently of my brain now they had control of my brain and they’d split that and they worked on that but

1:04:10 my heart was overriding my brain they said so basically they flatlined it to

1:04:19 bring it into submission now you can see with modern science publications that

1:04:25 they’re seeing now that the heart has what similar to brain cells in it so

1:04:33 that the heart can have memory so when people receive organ donation

1:04:40 they take on the memories and characteristics and preferences and

1:04:45 tastes etc of the donor and this is documented so when I watch duck you know

1:04:54 documentaries like that it reminds me of incidents like this and it makes more

1:05:00 sense of it so now I’m going to talk

1:05:07 about the integration process this is something that I have devised myself I

1:05:17 basically was my own therapist I people say how can you recommend a therapist I

1:05:23 can go to no I can’t I made this up myself I brought about my own integration with

1:05:30 the help of God and the odd bit of input from various therapists I was desperate

1:05:37 and I had no other choice I studied art psychotherapy and

1:05:42 psychology and read books and travelled to America to find books and look for

1:05:49 experts and I did a lot of this remember before the existence of the internet so I was very difficult in the in the early

1:05:54 days and I had to wait 20 years between the two phases of integration so the

1:06:04 first batch of integration was achieved many years ago in my

1:06:12 early twenties and the focus was mainly

1:06:17 on ritual abuse and those experiences and I was just getting to the military mind control stuff I remember doing a

1:06:24 drawing of being spun and this egg contraption I took it to my mother and she said oh that’s enough you don’t need to remember anymore and she didn’t mean

1:06:30 to shut me down she just thought it was too much and and I went oh okay and I

1:06:37 just didn’t work on it anymore and I never found a therapist that I could trust enough to open all that stuff with

1:06:44 and I would have I was functioning fine really just every now and then I’d get

1:06:50 some horrendous you know bursts of your mood like a mood swing or I was you know

1:06:57 I’d be rich Ramat eyes something would happen I’d be targeted again you’d find

1:07:02 dead chopped up animals on my lawn or something like that and that was enough to set me off so I was much more

1:07:08 vulnerable to that pre full integration than I would be today so I waited what

1:07:15 20 years before I came to a place where I could could finish off the military

1:07:22 stuff and deal with that as I said

1:07:29 Australia is a therapeutic wasteland there is no one that I can recommend

1:07:35 there is no clinic there’s no hospital these clinics that pretend to deal with

1:07:43 this sort of stuff don’t trust any of them I say to victims do not trust any

1:07:49 of them okay they’ve all been infiltrated as far as I

1:07:55 know and I hear stories from victims from all over now these various agencies that are pretending to be advocates for

1:08:03 child abuse victims and treating them and what-have-you I hope there’s not one I can recommend

1:08:09 I’m sorry to begin with the best way to

1:08:15 explain what helps integration is to outline what hinders it now the most

1:08:22 destructive tools that you can employ when we with the di D client is the very tools

1:08:30 or methods that we employed to cause the dissociation and trauma and abuse in the

1:08:36 first place so for example ECT I mean electrocution is only going to

1:08:43 stuff the memories back down again until they’ve volcano again to the surface at

1:08:48 a later date you know usually anniversary time drugs not drugs stuff

1:08:55 memories down again and they interfere with with memory recall and accuracy and

1:09:03 then hypnosis well hypnosis is so dangerous unethical

1:09:08 hypnosis is what’s used to bring about the dissociation and if you

1:09:17 firk about in there using hypnosis you have no idea what you’re doing unless you are an expert military trained

1:09:26 hypnotist who has access to the original codes that were implemented through

1:09:34 unethical hypnosis so if you don’t have the trigger codes you’re just going to

1:09:40 trigger the client to suicide also stay right away from biofeedback or

1:09:47 neurofeedback once again these techniques were employed to imbue to abused kids like me

1:09:53 it holds worthy and Lucas Heights nuclear reactor I know that some of the

1:10:02 programs that they use now I mean I was given a little bit of biofeedback and it triggered the hell out of me a couple of

1:10:09 years ago and the programs that they developed well the person who developed

1:10:16 program is a Russian neurologist who works at the same Pavlovian Institute

1:10:25 that you know Pavlov trained it in st.

1:10:30 Petersburg and the actual program that they created was full of Luciferian

1:10:39 symbols and images of blood dripped down walls and things like that so I thought it was more of a trigger

1:10:44 than a healing tool what else won’t help integration will neglect if your

1:10:52 therapist is providing one 50-minute session per week because 10 minutes of

1:10:57 that paid session have to be devoted to note-taking well they’re ripping you off and they’re actually not doing a service

1:11:03 at all because when therapy reaches a critical point they’re not going to be

1:11:09 available for you and really you can’t achieve much in 50 minutes

1:11:15 when you’re doing this kind of work with the di-did client you really need length

1:11:20 longer sessions and more of them find him empathy I had a lecture at Bond

1:11:27 University in the counseling psychology course used to say you can fake it to

1:11:33 you make it and I thought now you can’t hire cue victims can read my profile

1:11:38 expressions they’re going to detect feigned empathy very quickly you don’t

1:11:45 want to be working with a psychologist who is is proud and for egotistical

1:11:52 because that interferes with their objectivity and motivation and usually find those types of very jealous of the

1:11:58 hierarchy clients that come in and really want to destroy them rather than help them what else stops

1:12:05 integration is denial techniques so these include CBT which stems from learned helplessness and a CT which is

1:12:13 based on CBT cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance commitment therapy you don’t you don’t want to deal

1:12:20 with mindfulness which is stems from Buddhism Buddhism which is a

1:12:25 dissociative based religious cult and they employed associative techniques

1:12:32 like Transcendental Meditation astral travel that’s the last thing you want to be doing with a victim of ritual abuse

1:12:38 who was taught to astral travel as part of their ritual abuse and to dissociate

1:12:44 and positive thinking not helpful at all so mindfulness I mean you know these

1:12:52 techniques that they employ they teach you to be in the moment

1:12:57 and to really not look at your past so don’t look at your history of ritual

1:13:02 abuse and mind control let’s not look at all the murders and and let’s not accurately remember and illustrate the

1:13:11 VIP perpetrators of your abuse instead be in the moment okay

1:13:16 and it’s like trying to employ mind over matter and taking that approach is akin

1:13:23 to taking on a you know a battleship

1:13:28 with a pop gun it’s not gonna work it’s it’s like if somebody smashed up in a

1:13:34 car accident and they’re screaming and physical pain on the ground and screaming for you no drugs for pain

1:13:42 killers and you go up there and say you know just stay in the moment you know

1:13:48 don’t worry about it forget the past get on with life people don’t realize that the nervous system agony that victims go

1:13:57 through who have been subjected the sort of abuse that I have experienced that that nervous system pain manifest is

1:14:05 physical pain and it’s absolutely excruciating and it doesn’t help to employ these methods that are based on

1:14:14 positive thinking and forgetting the past and getting on with life so

1:14:20 positive thinking and techniques that akin to that they’re designed to stop

1:14:28 integration the worst experience I had

1:14:33 with a therapist was one that used to tell me – oh just go and find a good

1:14:40 book and listen to nice music you know when I was grappling with suicide

1:14:48 programming that was forced upon me it wasn’t my thoughts I wasn’t suicidal it

1:14:54 was weed you know as I was about to remember a horrific some horrific crime

1:15:03 or something that was forced to witness I would feel suicidal just you know

1:15:10 immediately leading up to that and the worst thing you can do is tell someone like that to just go read a good book

1:15:16 and put on some nice classical music is the last thing you want to do so just a

1:15:24 word on drugs the best advice I was ever given was from my friend’s dad who’s

1:15:31 retired pharmacist and it was a really good one and he said to me one time I said never take the newer drugs he said

1:15:38 you’d be lucky if the new drug has been tested on 10,000 subjects making you a human guinea pig stick to the old and

1:15:44 tried drugs now I did most of what I did drug-free I mean when I had kids I had

1:15:50 them without drugs and that means gas and I guess I’m my mum’s naturopath

1:15:56 she’s been a naturopath since I was seven so I’ve been raised in alternative medicine she was the nutritionist for a

1:16:06 state home midwifery association you know I was really raised in that whole

1:16:11 scene so I was very anti-drugs anti-everything Western medicine and for

1:16:18 good reason anyhow because I am hypersensitive to drugs I mean I couldn’t become a drug addict if I tried

1:16:25 I mean they pumped me with so many drugs when I was a child and I already had a

1:16:31 hypersensitive nervous system anyway due to being high IQ that you know I don’t

1:16:37 it doesn’t take much I’ve had severe reactions to some very basic drugs and so when I tried what did I have I had

1:16:45 some bolter or something and that was for anxiety or something ridiculous

1:16:50 anyway it triggered heart problems in me and I know that it triggers triggers

1:16:57 suicidal ideation and I know that’s when I started sort of grappling with sort of

1:17:04 suicidal ideation was after taking that cymbalta garbage and and it took two

1:17:09 months to win myself off it was horrendous valium was I mean there was

1:17:15 some times when the pain was so her that nothing touched valium didn’t even do anything but sometimes it could

1:17:23 provide a bit of immediate relief from trauma and flashbacks but of course you

1:17:30 can’t stay on it for more than two weeks not that I did I just have a little bit and I’d have stuff that was years old

1:17:36 actually and just gonna find it in the medical cabinet but the other thing that I found was sometimes helpful was bita

1:17:45 blockers so the old style beta blockers what’s it called inderal it did relieve

1:17:54 four heart symptoms during abreaction so when I relived a trauma I actually had

1:18:02 my heart react to it as though I was there so this was kind a bit of a

1:18:07 concern when the we went to abreact them flatlining my heart why we was you know

1:18:15 my therapist seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack and I could have sorry because I actually had had a

1:18:20 heart attack I had won it what was I 37 or something like that and I had no history family history of

1:18:30 that of heart problems and I had a very strong heart well John so in terms of desired

1:18:40 therapists qualities well it’d be nice if your therapist is higher Q because it

1:18:45 takes someone higher Q to be able to work with and really understand somebody’s hierarchy the only therapist

1:18:51 I’ve ever got anything out of really have been higher IQ themselves

1:18:56 giftedness expertise at least so that you don’t miss diagnose someone who’s

1:19:02 higher q with somebody who has I don’t

1:19:09 know you know Bhopal is it says on this book who will bipolar or have ADHD or OCD or

1:19:15 whatever and you don’t confuse in hierarchy with PTSD hyper vigilance or

1:19:20 narcissism or whatever people who are high IQ have certain types of

1:19:28 personalities and characteristics and behavior 10 chances that you will find a pretty

1:19:34 common to people in that IQ range and mm-hmm they they are often misdiagnosed

1:19:41 so they like I said they have sense type hypersensitive nervous systems and that

1:19:48 can be confused with a few different alternative mental health diagnoses so

1:19:54 you just have to know how to differentiate between those two

1:20:00 different situations it would be really nice to have our therapist who is

1:20:06 creative and intuitive because then they can go with the flow because like I said no two victims of ritual abuse in my

1:20:13 control are the same and it’s really good to differentiate the therapy for

1:20:19 people who hire quu because remember high IQ our victims are actually a

1:20:25 special needs population it’s like it’s school kids who are higher q were actually classed as special needs and

1:20:31 weekly is supposed to be catered for and you’re supposed to differentiate their curriculum so therefore you have to

1:20:36 differentiate the therapy that you supply these clients with and the

1:20:42 biggest problem that therapists make especially young ones is that they limit

1:20:47 reality to their own personal experience or what their lecturers taught them or what’s in their their textbooks I’ve yet

1:20:54 to see a textbook with any relevant information to the sorts of experiences

1:21:01 I’ve had in terms of what helps integration knowledge the victim can do

1:21:10 their own work they can become knowledgeable in the areas of psychology IQ biochemistry and neurology all this

1:21:18 helps if you can visualize because you’ll be a visual thinker if you can visualize what’s going on in your brain

1:21:25 when they abuse you and then what’s going on when they heal you then you

1:21:31 will have more confidence in the healing process it’s like when I had a stroke and it

1:21:40 turned out to be in the vestibular system and then I had this fan plastic physio who basically my goodness

1:21:50 she brought about a lot of healing in a six-week program now the reason why that

1:21:58 program worked is because I was confident that the brain was able to

1:22:05 heal I did vision therapy before that thinking the stroke was in the visual

1:22:12 cortex but it still led to a lot of healing I mean just after the stroke I

1:22:18 couldn’t stand on my right leg I couldn’t balance on my right foot and like I used to do acrobatics and all that sort of stuff so it wasn’t like I I

1:22:24 was unable to do that before but it and they said also the people who conducted

1:22:30 that therapy said look the reason you you did so well and made so much progress is because you believed in the

1:22:36 in the therapy and I believed it because I’ve read stuff about neurology and and

1:22:42 about neuroplasticity I believed in Europe plasticity so and all of that

1:22:48 information really helped me when it came to the integration process a number

1:22:54 of techniques helped me as well I I was in the first art soccer therapy intake

1:23:00 in Australia into the master’s program over in w-a and

1:23:05 you know after I don’t know almost a year of that I learnt as much as I

1:23:10 possibly could in and then I went off and I was dragged into trying to help

1:23:16 other people who had been through what I’ve been through basically and and I devised my own methods based on art

1:23:24 therapy for bypassing unethical hypnosis and accessing subconscious material that

1:23:29 was designed to never be accessed and all of that when it came to me doing MDR

1:23:35 which feels very similar to art therapy in the in the bra in the mind that

1:23:42 helped me you know my understanding and having having worked with other people I

1:23:48 understand that process so when it came to me doing it in my own head I was able to trust the process because it takes a

1:23:55 lot of trust you have to trust that you’re not just making this up when you’re remembering

1:24:02 things when you get flooding and flashbacks and things like that or when you’re just drawing things you have to

1:24:08 trust that this could be real because your brain tries very hard to shut it

1:24:15 down and to convince you that it’s not real because it’s too hard to think that it is real nobody wants to remember this

1:24:22 stuff techniques that are used throughout therapy writing with writing

1:24:29 I mean one of the most effective things that helped at one stage was my

1:24:35 therapist had me email her just for some I just housekeeping stuff like I’ll be

1:24:43 available for up Friday or whatever and then that turned into my goodness using

1:24:49 writing as an extension of therapy and I in the end I was emailing every day just writing and it was very important to me

1:24:55 that I thought that person was going to immediately receive that email do matter if at her end she hadn’t read it she

1:25:01 doesn’t read it for a day or two but in my head it it stopped me from going insane and it provided immediate relief

1:25:10 when I was really critical MDR is fantastic it is absolutely essential for

1:25:19 recovery and for memory recall and clarification I find the way I like to

1:25:28 do it was do have a session of EMDR because he aimed yes unlike hypnosis

1:25:34 it’s non suggestive and it’s up to the client to that your brain will just go

1:25:41 where it’s meant to and can cope with going at the time so what you do is you have MDR and you you’ll have a flashback

1:25:48 or something like that and then later on you’ll have maybe a fuzzy memory but if

1:25:54 you go and draw it at home afterwards it actually brings it to life and you

1:26:00 remember heaps more detail and then a technique is a pre action so which is

1:26:07 horrendous and that is basically feeling this feelings that you would dissociated from

1:26:12 at the time of abuse so you might have been seven when an incident occurred and if you go through MDR you will AB react

1:26:21 that feeling and you will feel it for the first time and you will feel the very royal feelings and that is just

1:26:27 absolutely horrendous and this is what you don’t want to experience and what the brain fights to prevent from

1:26:34 occurring so it’s very hard work integration bilateral stimulation well

1:26:43 because they split the brain you want to do things that stimulate integration between the hemispheres and swimming

1:26:51 does this freestyle swimming is fantastic and I look I ended up swimming

1:26:57 a kilometer a day five six seven days a week and I could so if I did MDR and

1:27:05 they went home did art therapy and then if I went swimming I had to go swimming after a session of MDR because it would

1:27:11 just gel everything and it would integrate the memories and calm my whole nervous system down and I it would just

1:27:19 I could feel it I could feel it working and also I could feel my heart

1:27:24 regenerating remember my brain needs to talk to me and my heart would talk to me

1:27:32 I realized what an amazing thing the human body is and how we have so much noise going on in our lives through

1:27:39 media and radio and you know conversation and traffic noise or

1:27:44 whatever that we don’t slow down and listen to our bodies and when I was forced to slow down and listen because I

1:27:51 kept very busy so I wouldn’t it listen because I didn’t want to hear what it had to say I found that it talked to me

1:27:57 so I would wake up one morning after a session and I remember going

1:28:03 hello brain and I remember starting to integrate and feeling I was in touch with my brain and that it was

1:28:09 integrating for the first time since I was five and I remember you know like I said when I was swimming I could my body

1:28:15 said to me your heart is regenerating so whatever damage had been done my heart I could feel it was strengthening

1:28:21 and yeah it was just such an unusual experience typing so when I wrote I

1:28:28 would type on a type of not very good at handwriting and that’s a bilateral

1:28:33 exercise so that encouraged integration and of course MDR is the bilateral

1:28:38 exercise and that’s why it works so when somebody does MDR with you they will swing a finger from left to right or

1:28:44 they’ll attack your left right left right hands or your thighs or whatever

1:28:51 they do don’t confuse MDR with hypnosis it’s not I know of one victim has been through

1:28:59 what I’ve been through and she freaked out and said I can’t do MDR no that’s like hypnosis I said yeah that’s what I

1:29:04 thought that’s why I avoided it but it’s not nothing like hypnosis a little bit

1:29:10 like it but then what else fostered

1:29:15 integration in me was my personal attributes so obviously tenacious diligent my tic youlet I have you know

1:29:22 high cognitive ability and I have faith I have faith in a higher power I am a born-again Christian I am not affiliated

1:29:30 with any Church I think they’re all child trafficking covers you know I’m into Bible based fundamental Christian

1:29:40 beliefs and and that’s what’s carried me

1:29:46 through luciferianism is spiritual it is evil and dark and Christianity as in

1:29:54 biblical Christianity is the antithesis of luciferianism and I believe it is a

1:30:00 source of higher strength and power and authority than what my abusers indulged

1:30:07 in so it was an example of what

1:30:17 therapists have done and you are when they’re working with high IQ victims

1:30:22 this is how it manifested in therapy for me so this is just a little excerpt from

1:30:29 an email that I sent my therapist you know it basically documented oh my gosh

1:30:34 18 month of therapy and integration based on the military abuse and we were talking about

1:30:44 alpha waves because I had had some brain scans done in old brain readings and

1:30:51 what showed up was that I had unusual alpha wave activity so I went home and

1:30:56 honestly I studied that 15 minutes when bang bang banging this is what I’m talking about it ability to research and flick through the internet and whatever

1:31:02 and this was my response now I studied a little bit of neuro and that’d mean everything at uni but I didn’t remember

1:31:09 anything much about alpha beta Delta gamma waves or you know sleep States or these sort of stuff I thought I couldn’t

1:31:15 remember any of that because I wasn’t interested in it back then so when I had to pay attention this

1:31:20 is what I can learn in 15 minutes so I said okay bearing in mind I know absolutely nothing and I studied this

1:31:26 for a whole 15 minutes I noticed an article in which the research argues that alpha waves regulate the shift of

1:31:32 attention between external and internal inputs and that alpha waves increase in power when we shift our consciousness of

1:31:38 the external world to internal thoughts the article considers where the boosting alpha waves subliminally shifts a person

1:31:45 into an altered state of consciousness reading this I immediately thought of the claim that the creation of different

1:31:50 alter states involves inducing different brainwave states via flashing lights etc

1:31:56 all this made me wonder with my brain waves consequently change with the emergence of each altered state I then

1:32:03 wondered whether my abnormal alpha activity somehow relates to my constantly shifting between different

1:32:08 states of consciousness that is between different alters so basically if you

1:32:18 can’t keep up with a client who is able to you know process that sort of

1:32:25 information and come to that conclusion in 15 minutes I don’t think you should

1:32:31 take these sorts of clients on you know you’re only going to label them as weird

1:32:36 or you’re going to feel threatened by them a main feature of my recovery

1:32:45 during the second and phase of integration so 18 months of full-on therapy we’re just I just had

1:32:53 flashbacks for 18 months it was horrendous I was Co conscious during this process so I never lost consciousness so I know

1:33:00 a lot of other people will go into therapy and the therapist will have to record the session because the client

1:33:05 comes out and they don’t even ever what just happened and they will switch between different alter states and talk

1:33:11 in a different voice and what-have-you and then come back and they won’t know what they just said to the therapist now

1:33:17 I never had anything like that I have since realized and found out that when

1:33:25 people have been abused and the methods

1:33:32 employed are very sophisticated and you know they’re it’s a military application of these methods it is seamless

1:33:40 transition between the different alter states is seamless and it’s undetectable

1:33:45 so people might have thought I was a little bit unusual as a person I was a

1:33:51 bit you know eccentric or what-have-you but they would not have realized what

1:33:57 was going on I certainly wasn’t you know shifting like something out of the movie

1:34:03 Sybil and this the fact that I was Co conscious during integration was it has

1:34:09 enabled me to observe my own therapy and document it and that’s what enables me

1:34:16 to to articulate what happened so easily now the most disturbing thing I

1:34:27 encountered in America was a group of victims who when we’re not making

1:34:35 progress in therapy and some had been in therapy for 20-plus years some were high functioning and articulate and they

1:34:42 would say to me what I’m trying I want to heal I want to get well I’ve tried so

1:34:48 hard I’m not getting anywhere so I had to think about it and I observed and I

1:34:53 realized what the problem was therapists over there seem to be following the

1:34:59 wrong tree model they are focusing on the symptoms instead of the cause of the dissociation

1:35:07 so therapists seem to be focusing on getting to know the multiple

1:35:15 personalities or identities of fragments or alters whatever you want to call them within a DI dia client and finding out

1:35:23 their name and their likes and you know their role and well that sort of thing and ice noticed quite a number of

1:35:31 victims referring to themselves as we are we did this and we did that and and

1:35:39 that’s something I I suppose I’m naturally shied from I never referred to myself as we I always thought of myself

1:35:47 as I and spoke with I when I referred to

1:35:52 myself I remember watching a documentary years ago I think her name was Trudy and

1:35:57 she was a famous MPT client and she turns up to a doctor’s house one night

1:36:02 with a t-shirt that read two-four-six-eight we refused to integrate because the therapist was

1:36:09 trying to bring about integration and then she chose not to and I remember

1:36:16 thinking when I was young what an idiot no that is stupid you want to integrate

1:36:22 that’s the goal and I’ll talk about why that’s the goal later on but I find it

1:36:29 very unhealthy to talk in terms of we

1:36:35 instead of I I think that that fosters dissociation when what you want is

1:36:41 integration and I can understand why people sometimes would do that and you

1:36:46 know maybe there’s a place for that at at times and less you know maybe victims at times should feel free to express a

1:36:54 little bit of that fragmentation but I wouldn’t entertain it the way therapists

1:37:00 do some therapists seem to be titillated by the the di D clients you know

1:37:08 multiple personalities and then the client stays in that that situation

1:37:13 instead what therapists need to do is is focus on the cause and not the symptoms

1:37:20 you know focus on identifying and processing through remembering and not

1:37:25 reacting the trauma that caused the dissociation in that in the first time in in the first place and by doing that

1:37:34 if you if you identify and process an individual trauma that caused

1:37:40 dissociation you may be actually targeting for integration 300 alters or

1:37:47 fragments so basically if you process the trauma that led to the fragmentation

1:37:56 then all those alters or personalities or what everyone call them associated

1:38:01 with that trauma that came about as a result of that trauma will naturally integrate and disappear so you don’t get

1:38:07 need to get to know them in their names and their roles and what-have-you

1:38:13 another thing is therapists tend to shy

1:38:19 from anything that triggers the client and they seem to tread on eggshells

1:38:24 around triggers oh no you know don’t go there because it triggers the client well I take the opposite approach I

1:38:32 believe that the trigger is the key to identifying the trauma so I believe in

1:38:42 you know pushing through that trigger embrace it and go with it and find out

1:38:48 what’s behind that trigger usually it’s it’s the trauma incident but cause the

1:38:54 problem in the first place and you’ll no longer be triggered by it if you just deal with it okay don’t shy

1:39:01 from triggers one of the victims I have

1:39:10 spoken with said that she was having trouble locating her core personality

1:39:15 and said you know my therapist and I we’ve gone looking with search for ages

1:39:21 we can’t find my core personality you know what do I do well

1:39:27 about it and your core personality is is there it’s the person you were before

1:39:34 you’re abused it’s your original name it’s it’s who

1:39:40 you were referred to as it as a child the name that you abuses first new us

1:39:45 you don’t have to go looking for it and find its name it is you and it’s the

1:39:51 person who is there when the victims not being triggered and those other

1:39:58 fragments that come into play once they triggered it’s the person who’s there

1:40:06 when they’re not in a fetal position in the corner of a room or that usually you

1:40:12 find with with the victim you know although they may go through extreme

1:40:17 mood swings and and you may be it’s like talking to 50 different people there’s

1:40:22 always someone there at the core no matter how dysfunctional they are if you

1:40:28 get to know the person well enough there’s always someone there that sounds pretty reasonable not too intellectual

1:40:34 because you know someone who’s highly and intellectual and that that could be

1:40:40 a defense mechanism kicking in I’m talking about there’s you can usually find the core person there and and when

1:40:50 various fragments are integrated they are absorbed into the person’s original

1:40:58 core personality the victims brain works

1:41:05 overtime not to try and recall the details of our abuse but to the victims

1:41:13 brain works overtime not to recall details of abuse but to forget them and

1:41:21 we’ll do anything to distract ourselves from focusing on anything that will

1:41:27 remind us of what happened so we will become workaholics we will play music

1:41:35 jump from activity to activity never be alone always want to have noise

1:41:43 in the background or company and a lot of victims will panic if they’re on

1:41:49 their own because the memories will just come up by themselves and so we work

1:41:54 very hard to keep those memories at bay and some victims will self-medicate with

1:42:04 drugs and alcohol to stop themselves from from remembering it’s very easy to

1:42:12 bring up memories it doesn’t take a lot the biggest barrier to recalling detail

1:42:20 is the victims own mind and of course the perpetrators have put measures in

1:42:29 place to prevent us from looking at our

1:42:35 own material never mind starting to work on it but just from even going there I

1:42:42 was very keen to recall my abuse I am

1:42:47 the type that likes to rip a band-aid off in one go and so I flogged myself to

1:42:56 the horror of my therapist but I suppose

1:43:01 I’m more able to tolerate a greater

1:43:08 workload then other victims it seems I’ve since met victims who just won’t

1:43:15 even go there at all but for some reason I I can’t relate to that I in my mind I

1:43:21 go why wouldn’t you want to remember why wouldn’t you just want to get it over and done with and get it out of the way

1:43:26 I’ve got siblings who won’t even go there you have to remember that I’m I’m the oldest of seven kids and most of my

1:43:34 siblings were abused by the same people in Sydney and they have varying degrees

1:43:40 of memories and willingness to talk about it all police phoned one of my

1:43:46 brothers and asked what he knew about it all he says yeah it’s all true but yeah I don’t

1:43:53 remember a lot because he said what I work very hard to not remember I I don’t

1:43:59 want to remember so like I say I’m I’m

1:44:05 different I do encourage integration I do encourage people to work hard at

1:44:11 remembering detail because it’s the first step in a number of steps that

1:44:17 I’ve identified from having worked through this there are some clear steps that I was able to identify that steps

1:44:26 of victims need to take in order to recover so the first step is remembering

1:44:32 and unfortunately this is very difficult because of therapists are not allowed to

1:44:40 suggest to victims that they might have been abused or you know might have been

1:44:48 abused in a certain way or that they’re exhibiting signs that you know something

1:44:54 happened to them that maybe the therapist is seen in 45 other clients you know let us say that and because

1:45:02 that would be the first step in in supposedly planting false memories in

1:45:07 the client and this is all a lie there’s no way you can put into a victims mind

1:45:13 something that wasn’t placed there by the perpetrators in the first place that that’s that’s a lie of the false

1:45:20 memory foundation pedophiles and they’ve been very successful at circulating that

1:45:27 lie all around the Western world so what victims need is to be triggered

1:45:34 people shun from being triggered to remember but that’s the one thing that

1:45:40 is needed that’s how you remember is by being triggered and you have to push

1:45:47 through that trigger so something will start to come up and you you know victim

1:45:55 will be bothered by it could be a color or it could be words to it too

1:46:01 – a song that’ll be playing over and over again in their head and where that doesn’t normally happen or there will be

1:46:09 just an image of some kind of terrible thing that could happen to a person and they’ll just be find yourself in your

1:46:17 mind you you’re being bothered by a certain type of torture or certain act against somebody and that’s a clue that

1:46:25 something is coming to the circuit surfaces volcano into the surface and what you have to do is work on that so

1:46:33 you have to remember what happened it’s very important and then you have to

1:46:39 articulate what happens you have to be very clear about what happens you have

1:46:46 to be able to speak it because that is just part of the process of purging the

1:46:52 past you have to be able to then have react it so it’s not enough to remember

1:46:59 and talk about it you have to feel the feelings unfortunately and those feelings when you begin to AB react the

1:47:05 feelings you may be feeling those feelings for the very first time since

1:47:10 you were I’m know five or ten or what have you because if they’ve used

1:47:15 unethical means to force a state of dissociation in the victim then that

1:47:23 pain that the victim experienced while they were going through the forced

1:47:30 dissociation process has been put on hold that’s been put on delay so when those

1:47:35 neural pathways connect again and that’s what remembering is its when neural

1:47:41 pathways that were purposely severed or blocked when they reconnect then those

1:47:49 feelings are going to reconnect and so you might feel that for the first time

1:47:55 and believe me it’s as strong as the very first time that you experienced the

1:48:00 torture when you were five or ten or you know whatever so there the three steps

1:48:06 remember articulate up react and you’ll repeat those over and over and over and

1:48:12 over night and I that’s what I had to go through was was for 18 months over and over

1:48:20 remember articulate abreact then after I sort of got through the bulk of the

1:48:28 really bad stuff and I found that kind of work backwards to the worst things

1:48:33 that occurred so I actually worked back to the two worst things so one was what

1:48:42 I showed you about Kidman’s doorways

1:48:47 that were created so that was probably the second last major thing that I had to work on but then I was working back

1:48:54 to the attachment violation that occurred in the first place with getting

1:48:59 up so that was the last thing I had to major thing that I had to remember in order to achieve integration so after I

1:49:09 remembered articulated I’ve reacted over and over repeatedly in a cycle then I

1:49:15 was able to sever the attachment to my

1:49:21 abusers mainly getting up and dealed the attachment violation and after that

1:49:27 there was another step and it was closing the portal to my past I can’t describe that very well I think maybe it

1:49:34 it’s a bit of a a spiritual thing that occurred I just remember when I was

1:49:41 dealing with all this stuff for 18 months it’s like a vortex to my past had been opened and and it allowed access to

1:49:48 my past and it allowed me to feel everything but at the same time as

1:49:54 horrendous I was being bombarded and flooded with with with you know emotion and memories and flashbacks and all that

1:50:00 sort of stuff well that had to be closed at some stage I couldn’t I couldn’t cope

1:50:05 with it anymore and I remember just praying just going on I’ve had enough I can’t do this anymore you’ve got to shut

1:50:11 this down and I woke up the next day and I remember very clearly just seeing a

1:50:18 picture in my head of a very thin veil of skin just forming over a big jagged

1:50:26 wound like a gaping wound and I remember thinking arts clothes because all of that shut down at the one time all of

1:50:33 that emotion and nightmare had been going through for 18 months it shut down

1:50:38 so it was like that portal to my past was was closed it had been open for 18

1:50:44 months to allow me access to everything and then it closed that’s the best I can do to describe what I went through

1:50:53 people have asked me how can they identify when their therapy is working

1:50:58 well if you have an achieved integration yet a good telltale sign as you working

1:51:06 towards integration is that when you you triggered and memory is coming up to the

1:51:13 surface if it’s correctly processed if that memory is correctly processed it

1:51:19 will never bother you again that means that all the suicidal ideation or

1:51:26 feelings of self-harm that or you know anxiety depression what-have-you

1:51:33 associated with that memory and that tends to be there as the memories come at surface that will permanently

1:51:40 disappear okay so how to tell when therapy is working when a memory is

1:51:47 properly processed through remembering it and feeling the feelings and

1:51:52 articulating it etc and then if you do that properly I can promise you that

1:51:59 memory will never ever raise its head again it will just fade into the past

1:52:06 and something to know is that when a memory is being processed it it is very

1:52:12 vivid at the start and that first time that you process it in therapy will be

1:52:18 the clearest it will ever be it may clarify more as you do out therapy

1:52:24 following MDR or whatever you used to to process the memory but eventually it

1:52:31 does fade and it becomes sort of more difficult to to recall the details

1:52:42 it’s very important that the therapist knows what they’re working with before

1:52:49 they commit to working with a client because once you open that portal to the

1:52:56 past once you deal with this staff start dealing with it the client boards a

1:53:04 rollercoaster and like a psychological roller coaster and they can’t get off

1:53:11 until that rides finished the only options they’ve got partway through are

1:53:17 to you know stick with the ride until its completion or to jump halfway and so

1:53:25 the therapists shouldn’t go about opening up these wounds unless they are

1:53:31 confident that they can stick to it now therapists can be quite pathetic they

1:53:37 can think of all sorts of excuses to leave part way through and you know they

1:53:44 can justified according to the ethical code and say oh I was I felt threatened or you know the client I don’t know

1:53:52 broke some boundaries overstep boundaries etc etc that’s that’s not the sort of therapist you want to work with

1:53:58 you don’t want someone who’s frightened or cares what people think about them too much or you know who’s in it for the

1:54:06 wrong reasons that’s what will lead to or a therapist who themselves to have

1:54:13 the same background and all these triggers their own background which I’ll just go into detail but the therapist

1:54:21 must commit to completing the integration process before they before they start otherwise just you know refer

1:54:28 the client on it’s best that they don’t start at all then have the client commit

1:54:34 suicide partway through it’s a part of deciding whether or not a therapist is

1:54:41 willing and able to commit to the therapeutic relationship with a client

1:54:46 like this is knowing the potential risks

1:54:51 involved for the therapist so one of the major it says vicarious trauma it is horrendous to sit

1:55:00 there and watch a client relive their childhood for the first time and that is

1:55:10 something that the therapist must be emotionally prepared to tolerate another

1:55:17 thing that I just mentioned before was there’s the risk of that the client and

1:55:24 what they’ve been through and the detail that they come up with might trigger the therapist own di D because therapists

1:55:31 are not trained in this at university they this might be the first time that

1:55:38 they come up against this type of material rich rich lab user mind control and the therapist might be a very

1:55:44 high-functioning victim themselves and have coped very considerably well in

1:55:51 society and there’s no science to them or anyone else and then suddenly they will start to be triggered tuned and

1:55:58 then what happens is they’ll become defensive and they’ll take it out on the client they’ll blame the client instead

1:56:04 of looking at their own staff and I know because I’ve had this happen with certain therapists and I had one

1:56:11 therapist who ended up suicidal by the end and I end up having to manage my own

1:56:19 situation and prepare I was trying to manage theirs as well which I think I

1:56:25 did quite effectively but people would not know and that person’s in a position of power and they will misuse that

1:56:33 against the client if it comes to a choice between the clients welfare and

1:56:41 and them avoiding pain so another risk

1:56:46 is harassment from the clients perpetrators this is the main reason why

1:56:52 therapists who have worked in this area shut up shop I did a study many years

1:56:58 ago when I was at uni on therapists who specialize in this area and the death

1:57:05 threats of and the harassment to their family I mean these you got to think these people are very powerful this involves the CIA

1:57:13 and Asia oh and Australian Prime Minister’s and police commissioners and

1:57:19 they have the means to shut down anybody and that’s why if a therapist is going to work in this area I would never

1:57:25 advertise it you don’t tell anyone you just keep it very client very quiet that

1:57:30 you’re working with this demographic and I mean those people won’t stay in it for

1:57:36 very long then they might do one client go up I’m never doing this again you tend to find it’s genuine Christian

1:57:44 therapists who cope the best because they feel that they have a higher sense

1:57:53 of meaning to the work they’re doing and that there’s a higher source of power

1:57:58 than the people that have abused their client and these people seem to have

1:58:05 unlimited resources and finances and manpower to call upon when they’re

1:58:13 trying to shut all of this sort of stuff down which they’ve done very effectively so also the therapist has to realize

1:58:21 that they’re working with the most challenging client group you could ever encounter ever so the earth Erebus might

1:58:28 be working with a client who was way smarter than the therapist who has gone

1:58:33 through psychological processes that enhance their natural abilities I mean

1:58:40 that’s why that was that’s why they were selected in the first place that was selected for these abuse programs based

1:58:48 on their higher IQ their resilience their fortitude their adaptability and

1:58:59 you know it’s it’s would be very difficult to psychologically overpower

1:59:06 or outsmart a client that comes from

1:59:11 this sort of background you know if you’ve got a therapist who’s got an IQ of I don’t know 120

1:59:17 I mean how they’re going to work with her a victim whose IQs 200 and there’s no

1:59:23 there’s no way you can deceive a client like that there’s no way you can lie no

1:59:31 way you can hide fear you can’t hide anything from them they will read it in

1:59:37 the therapist because they can read their micro facial expressions straightaway and so you know it’s it’s

1:59:46 something to to give serious consideration to something that is very

1:59:56 important to consider is the therapeutic bond between the client and the

2:00:02 therapist this is quite unique when it

2:00:07 comes to victims of ritual abuse and mind control it it’s essential that this

2:00:15 bond is formed so that the memories can be processed the client will not start

2:00:24 to remember anything until they feel as though they’re in a safe place and are

2:00:30 not going to be killed in the process the therapeutic bond is completely

2:00:37 shaped by the attachment violation that I talked about earlier it’s it is very

2:00:44 complicated this therapeutic bond if the perpetrator was a therapist and usually at least one of the victims perpetrators

2:00:51 was a doctor or a psychiatrist psychologist that’s that’s the whole point there the people who have been

2:00:57 trained they’re experts in in the human brain and in behavior and that’s why

2:01:04 they were trained and you know the whole point to them being there is their

2:01:09 expertise in that area so that is going to flavor everything that happens within

2:01:17 that therapeutic environment if a

2:01:24 successful therapeutic bond is formed between the victim and the therapist

2:01:31 then what happens is that every state of

2:01:37 consciousness or alter or personality or fragment whatever you want to call it

2:01:44 every force dissociative parcel will surface to test the therapist and this

2:01:53 is a very unpleasant experience for the therapist especially if they are

2:01:58 psychologically weak or they themselves are a victim and then the clients

2:02:05 feelings toward the perpetrators one or more perpetrators will be automatically transferred to the therapist so that

2:02:12 could be you know anger rage that could

2:02:17 be an engagement in sort of mind games that can be could be sexual so I really

2:02:24 recommend that female clients work with female therapists because it would be

2:02:31 difficult for a male therapist to resist especially a young attractive

2:02:37 mind-control victims advances which they will bring out to test the therapist so

2:02:45 I yeah there are pros and cons to this

2:02:50 therapeutic bonding situation the pros are that the therapist is immediately

2:02:57 granted unprecedented access to the clients mind that’s that can be very

2:03:04 advantageous when the therapist wants to seriously work on the clients past the

2:03:12 client will obey the therapist when they’re in that vulnerable situation they’ll do as they’re told if that bond

2:03:18 is created well and the therapist their voice will pacify a client mid flashback

2:03:27 or mid a pre action all the therapist has to do is speak and the client will

2:03:36 respond like a like a little kid to it to a parent

2:03:42 the cons are that the client is dependent on the therapist until the portal to the past is closed now this is

2:03:48 the big risks that the client takes with the therapist to trust them at the

2:03:53 beginning like I said when they bought that rollercoaster and the cons are also

2:03:59 that the the clients anger at the perpetrators will be misplaced at times and unfortunately the the therapist will

2:04:07 be placed under excessive scrutiny by the client because they will expect the

2:04:13 the therapist to be perfect in everything that they do because that is what was expected of the victim when

2:04:21 they were being abused they were expected to be perfect this is where a lot of the perfectionism comes from and

2:04:29 ICD type behaviors you’ll see in victims

2:04:35 so what will happen once this bond has been secured the client will seek the

2:04:43 therapists voice whenever there’s severe trauma pain you know fear episode as I

2:04:49 said like a baby responds to a mum and this can be quite suffocating for the

2:04:58 therapists especially if they lack skills and emotional maturity and if

2:05:03 there are victim themselves the client will go into a complete state of panic

2:05:13 if the therapist doesn’t respond so if the therapist is physically emotionally unavailable if the victim has to demand

2:05:22 big work for productive therapy or you know big for more than you know a short

2:05:27 session once per week when when everything is quite critical this will exacerbate the victims frustration and

2:05:33 anger exhaustion you know and increase the sense that they’re losing their mind and you see clients in mental hospitals

2:05:41 institutions and they stay in this cycle for years where they’ve they’ve

2:05:47 connected with a therapist and the therapist sort of dumps them and doesn’t fulfill their obligations to sing

2:05:54 seeing out the therapeutic journey and the client just remains in this cycle of

2:06:00 pain and trauma and and you know panic and it’s just heartbreaking to see it

2:06:07 because it’s pretty easy to fix really so the clients pacify just knowing the therapists is available okay it that you

2:06:15 don’t even have to be actually physically available just if the clients got a sense that the therapist is

2:06:22 available that’s going to soothe that internal sense of chaos and it’s going

2:06:27 to reduce the need for actual contact so one way that I got around having you

2:06:33 know more sessions I was actually deprived of sessions when I really needed them but one way that I’m

2:06:40 compensated for that was writing the emails and that was able to immediately

2:06:45 soothe that panic that came up with a new memory or you know a flashback or

2:06:53 forethought flooding as I said I’m a fan

2:06:59 of EMDR which is a movement desensitization and reprocessing it’s a

2:07:04 type of therapy which is like a therapy based and there’s actually a lot of

2:07:11 research to support its use and effectiveness it’s not allowed to be

2:07:19 used in some states in Australia maybe because the people making decisions

2:07:24 about that part of the the child trafficking Network

2:07:30 why else would they not allow an effective means of therapy to be employed I don’t know so MDR is non

2:07:37 suggestive it allows the client to process at a manageable pace and

2:07:42 intensity their memories and the associated feelings I like I said like

2:07:50 to use it in conjunction with art therapy I think they complement each other perfectly prior to having any sort

2:07:58 of experience of EMDR I did decades of

2:08:03 art therapy and I was very familiar with the art therapy process and then so when I

2:08:10 experienced EMDR I could feel inside my brain that and the impact it had on my

2:08:17 nervous system that the process felt the same very similar and that’s what allows

2:08:24 me to feel quite confident in it and it’s not like hypnosis it’s not the same as hypnosis hypnosis is where the

2:08:31 therapist suggests what happens and hypnosis involves the victim handing

2:08:38 their will over to the therapist and that can be quite dangerous because you

2:08:45 don’t know really whether or not you can trust the therapist and if they launch

2:08:51 into hypnosis straight away you don’t know if you’re actually dealing with an abuser who’s going to manipulate your

2:08:59 behavior through the use of unethical hypnosis once you’ve given your will over and and you know you can come out

2:09:06 of the hypnosis and be completely dissociative to what was what just occurred and that therapist might have

2:09:12 used you while you’re under hypnosis and in a state of dissociation so I prefer

2:09:18 MDR for a number of reasons effective

2:09:25 therapy will trigger you as I said you

2:09:31 you have to push through triggers to get to the source of the problem it’s like

2:09:37 when I did therapy for my vestibular stroke what I had to do was the very

2:09:45 thing I did not want to do it’s the very thing I’d been avoiding for years and years and that was being made dizzy you

2:09:54 know quickly turning my head looking up things like that well the physiotherapy

2:10:00 that I did required me to shake my head to the point where I felt ill and and to

2:10:06 do exercises where I you know throw a ball and look it up in the air and catch it and all these things that the very

2:10:11 thing I did not want to do and I was sick for weeks doing it but what it did was it forced the creation

2:10:19 of new neural pathways so that they bypass the damaged pathways in my brain

2:10:25 and it’s a bit like that when it comes to doing therapy and memory retrieval

2:10:32 and processing in association with ritual abuse and mind control you’re

2:10:38 going to be triggered and I mean some programming will trigger extreme thought

2:10:46 flooding and that sort of thing and I suppose it takes a skilled therapist to know the difference between thought

2:10:53 flooding and flashbacks that need to be turned off because there they were there as a defense mechanism and they were

2:11:00 placed by the abusers to turn the client off from exploring their memories but I

2:11:06 found that I never really had a great problem with that when I took the view

2:11:12 that hey these triggers are going to lead me to the end result which is

2:11:17 integration I so you know I went through extreme sensory flashbacks I had

2:11:25 flashbacks of being drugged I had a three-day drugged flashback where honestly I was I walked around

2:11:31 absolutely stoned for three days when I hadn’t taken anything I went through flashbacks of nervous system pain I

2:11:38 cannot I cannot describe the pain that I went through it’s worse than childbirth drug-free childbirth and I had two of

2:11:46 the most painful well the two most painful Labor’s that my very experienced midwife had ever seen in her career and

2:11:54 unfortunately I couldn’t dissociate from the pain because I’ve been through a lot of therapy in my very early 20s and yeah

2:12:01 I’d lost that ability to dissociate which was the downside to to effective therapy I had flashbacks of being

2:12:09 electrocuted I woke up one evening about 1:00 a.m. in the morning and I just woke

2:12:14 up screaming my head off I could feel a

2:12:19 big you know maybe it was a 20 centimeter by 20 centimeter pad of an

2:12:27 electrode on my back and honestly there was no difference between the flashback

2:12:32 of the electrocuted by that and actually being electrocuted in real life and so

2:12:40 obviously I was feeling that for the first time I had flashbacks of spinning

2:12:46 just vertigo I had extreme vertigo I nearly drowned in the surf because vertigo kicked in when I thought I was

2:12:52 alright and I went I went for a yeah run swim run activity and you know I nearly

2:12:59 drowned I had flashbacks of being hypnotized so this is highly unpleasant

2:13:06 and of course somebody’s going to reel from from these sorts of triggers but I

2:13:12 encourage people to just endure it and push through it’s not going to last forever I had nightmares terrible

2:13:21 nightmares which were of things that had happened or variations on themes

2:13:28 variation variations of things that had happened and I had thought flooding

2:13:34 thought flooding is horrendous it’s just when you are overwhelmed with lots of thoughts and memories at the one time

2:13:41 there could be 20 things that hit you at once and yeah it’s it’s so it’s extremely

2:13:48 unpleasant but this is what will happen if you embark upon therapy so go in knowing and you know trying to set up as

2:13:55 many safety precautions as possible and

2:14:00 one precaution is knowing what’s going on it’s it’s terrifying if you’re going

2:14:05 through this not seeing people in mental institutions it going through this sort of stuff it’s coming up and they don’t know it’s going on and the doctors all

2:14:11 think they’re psychotic or just you know borderline personality disorders and just drugged them whereas it’s pretty

2:14:17 simple if you just process all of this it eventually ends we need to really

2:14:24 emphasize the role of pain in all of this when the victim relieves the abuse

2:14:31 they actually relieve relive the abuse it’s not just a faint memory of the

2:14:36 abuse they’re really living it as though they’re still there and like when I relived being lowered

2:14:43 into a grave on top of a partially decomposed body when I did that I was there I could see it I had sort of faint

2:14:51 flashbacks coming through and the abbé reaction which is the feelings and

2:14:59 thoughts associated with the original abuse they’re equally as painful is original abuse there’s no difference and

2:15:07 it’s important to know that the brain registers psychological pain is physical pain I heard a neurologist speak on

2:15:12 radio one time a top neurologist from America and he said I hypothesize that

2:15:17 you know the brain does register physical pain is psychologically an order I knew that so to leave a person

2:15:27 who’s in a state of psychological agony and mock them or laugh at them or

2:15:32 whatever it happens in Psych hospitals in Australia and I experienced that or surrenders it’s the same as leaving

2:15:38 someone who has smashed up in a car accident on the side of the road without giving them any sort of painkiller it

2:15:45 really is a travesty in Australia that mental health staff don’t understand the

2:15:52 relationship between psychological and physical pain know that the side effects

2:16:00 of effective therapy include vertigo as I said nausea I was throwing up quite a

2:16:08 bit heart reaction so when when you go through and remembering being flatlined

2:16:15 and you know having your heart targeted physically then when you relive that

2:16:21 your heart will respond just like when you were going through it when you were a child so I had tachycardia I had chest

2:16:29 pain though it was not panic attack I have had a panic attack when I was very young that’s it’s not the same thing

2:16:36 also the side effect that you’ve got to be most weary of is in post suicidal

2:16:42 ideation what you have to know is and I’ll talk about this in detail next but you have to know that

2:16:47 beware of suicidal ideation it is not your own personal feelings and

2:16:53 you don’t want to commit suicide yourself you know victims usually want to live and these programs that

2:17:03 perpetrators are able to implement include feeling suicidal whenever you go

2:17:10 to recall a memory so let’s focus a bit on the suicide programming so every file

2:17:18 within the victims programming is protected by a suicide program okay so

2:17:25 every major file with with that file so you know therapists are going to

2:17:30 constantly come up against this suicidal ideation memory recall is the true

2:17:36 suicide trigger so working on memories is guaranteed to bring up suicidal

2:17:44 thoughts in the client so to permanently disarm that suicide trigger you have to

2:17:50 process the memory and I recommended by MDR and art and abreact the feelings so

2:17:56 you have to express what happened to you and feel the feelings and the thoughts

2:18:02 that you had at the time of the abuse if you don’t do this if you don’t

2:18:07 immediately process the memory then your symptoms are going to get worse and you

2:18:14 know the client will increasingly become at risk so it’s very important for therapists to be aware of this and be on

2:18:22 the lookout for this cycle which is guaranteed to be there so just to

2:18:28 emphasize the importance of bilateral stimulation on top of the MDR and art

2:18:36 therapy in between therapy sessions I would be recommending you swim swimming

2:18:43 is phenomenal for cognitive processing I could feel the trauma dissolve away and

2:18:54 just completed the integration process as I was doing laps if you’re not a very

2:19:01 good swimmer or strong swimmer I mean you can always go for lessons and to improve if you don’t like having to

2:19:08 turn your head I mean I couldn’t because I was getting vertigo all the time you get their snorkels and so you just get a

2:19:14 set of fins short fins which keep you buoyant if you’re not a great swimmer and a snorkel and it’s your away and I

2:19:23 used to like the fact that I could block out all sensory input by keeping my head

2:19:29 underwater and it’s that you have to do freestyle I find it’s that bilateral

2:19:36 stimulation that comes from using both arms so typing like I said typing is a

2:19:44 bilateral activity and the writing and expressing myself in between sessions

2:19:53 helped to process the the trauma and the memories and of course art I mean as I

2:20:00 said art therapy was invaluable to draw and you don’t have to be good at art

2:20:06 people think you have to be an artist to do art therapy no that’s not the point of art therapy it’s supposed to be art

2:20:12 as psychotherapy so it doesn’t matter if you can only draw stick figures the the

2:20:17 important thing is that you draw and I always say to people draw draw draw if stuff comes up in between sessions and

2:20:23 you can’t get to your therapists for whatever reason draw it it’s a it’s amazing how much subconscious material

2:20:31 will manifest on a piece of paper you just go out and buy those fat

2:20:38 kindergarten crayons just by some kids materials get some butchers paper or

2:20:43 even you know really large photocopying paper if you can or even if you’ve only got a little bit of a three photo

2:20:49 copying paper just who cares just as long as you start drawing and even if you only have textures as long as you’ve

2:20:55 got a range of colors to choose from at least a dozen colors to choose from that’s the important thing

2:21:01 and I find if just on the back of your piece of paper you write the date and the order that you did the drawings in

2:21:07 so if you want to take them into your therapist you can show them but just I

2:21:12 find the trick is to relax and you say to yourself just guess just

2:21:19 guess just guess what might have happened it doesn’t have to be right you could right you could draw anything it

2:21:27 doesn’t matter what will manifest eventually what will come through is the truth it always does so as I say these

2:21:36 activities in between sessions facilitate debrief so it helps you get

2:21:43 over the trauma of the therapy session sometimes I I really need to sleep after

2:21:49 a session and I’d wake up with my brain more integrated which is what sleep does

2:21:57 and it’s like I say it’s the act of

2:22:03 cognitive processing which is which is what these activities all have in common

2:22:08 so I’m going to give you an example of

2:22:16 what I did in therapy this is a sample session and it was the final significant

2:22:25 therapy session that I ever had and it was the session in which I reached the

2:22:32 core program which was the attachment violation when I was five that was committed by getting up now as I say I

2:22:39 planned my therapy there was no expert in Australia I believe me I looked and

2:22:46 so I did lots of study and lots of practice and I got to the point where I

2:22:53 could to a large extent plan and conduct my own therapy I just needed a therapist

2:22:59 there sometimes to hold my hand and and I would instruct her as to what to do

2:23:05 and she fought that but in the end it turns out I was actually right in what I

2:23:10 was doing so I’m going to read this session this is from an email I sent my therapist it shows my dark side as a

2:23:19 client I’m not saying I was an angel by any means and this this is a good example of how difficult it is dealing

2:23:25 with victims of VIP picking mind-control ritual abuse

2:23:31 somebody whose high IQ this is what you have to deal with so the session email

2:23:38 read this is what I need to do I need to deal with the attachment violation

2:23:43 whatever getting a deed to abuse this phenomenon has risen to the surface of my consciousness it’s preventing me from

2:23:50 functioning unfortunately I must enjoy more pain before I can deal with it I can’t concentrate study function in this

2:23:56 state of distraction anticipation of this planned remedy is all that is sustaining me right now I need a double

2:24:03 session ASAP I’m getting John that’s my husband to download the footage of getting er join the several segments of

2:24:10 his speaking repeat this footage over and over on the loop and place the loop footage on a DVD then I need you to do

2:24:18 the MDR as soon as you’ve done the MDR I need John to play the getting of footage on our TV I need you to do the MDR three

2:24:26 times allowing me to process and react between each dose I do not want you to refuse to repeat the MDR no matter what

2:24:33 you perceive my reaction to be I know exactly what I’m doing and you must trust me my heart will certainly hold up

2:24:39 I was fine even during the flatlining regression it is just a simulation and

2:24:45 not the real thing if that makes sense you and John must John must not touch me during any of this unless I tell you to

2:24:51 you must not talk during this process because saying the wrong thing pulls me

2:24:56 out and prevents me from revisiting the place I need to see I don’t want to be

2:25:01 grounded in any way to the present and by grounding I mean when she would hold my hand to keep me present

2:25:06 I must not I must be allowed to completely relive this one do not tell

2:25:12 me that it’s over or to just let it be there don’t fight it these instructions are and have always

2:25:17 been counterproductive and in applicable to what I’m doing I suspect I must travel travel back through three layers

2:25:24 of programmed walls to reach the attachment programming if we screw this up I will only have to start all over

2:25:30 again and I will not be able to move forward until this process is achieved I anticipate this will rip open the

2:25:37 attachment programming if I have getting his voice playing on a loop in the background I should be able to trigger myself instead

2:25:43 my mind to locate the memory I don’t care how exhausting or dangerous it looks it is only me revisiting the past

2:25:48 I know when this is happening that I’m not actually there I’m more than prepared for this I am in no way at risk

2:25:55 you just need to trust me and follow my instruction so that’s it so as you can

2:26:00 see I was a flippin nightmare to work with but I was right in in what I was saying

2:26:08 and it worked so I knew what to do I planned it it was this was 20 years in

2:26:14 the planning really and we did exactly what I said and it was very effective

2:26:20 and I did reach the attachment violation committed by getting hurt and it was it

2:26:27 was like in the end when we did MDR I could actually consciously steer my

2:26:33 brain to where I wanted to go and visit the memories that I wanted to visit my

2:26:39 therapist didn’t know what the heck was going on usually and she did last long

2:26:47 enough that she you know got me to the end of where I needed to go and but it

2:26:57 was really hard going on her and it nearly broke her and you know I I regret

2:27:06 that but at the same time I like I say it’s a roller coaster ride that you

2:27:11 can’t get off until you’ve finished and I was certainly reaching the end no

2:27:16 matter what one of the most surprising questions I got from victims in America

2:27:24 and Australia was what should I integrate it to me it was a no-brainer I

2:27:31 hadn’t even had to put into words my reasons for integration until people ask

2:27:39 me that so I’m going to discuss the pros and cons of successful integration

2:27:46 integration reduces and sometimes it completely eliminates certain symptoms

2:27:52 so the symptoms that it very much reduced was anxiety and

2:28:02 depression I’m probably still a bit prone to those feelings but I think

2:28:08 that’s to do with normal everyday reactions to ongoing victimization at

2:28:17 the hands of New South Wales Police and the people they that the pedophile

2:28:24 Network employ to harass the hell out for me and my family you know they still

2:28:29 try and kill my pets and and try and attack me and set me up so it’s very

2:28:36 hard to know what is residual emotional

2:28:42 feelings as opposed to or what’s just you know a normal reaction to people

2:28:48 attacking me still to this day I no longer have severe flashbacks thought

2:28:56 flooding I’m not easily triggered I be

2:29:02 prior to this I could have been very easily triggered by my abuse and I would

2:29:08 have still been moderately susceptible to someone using programmed triggers to

2:29:15 try and access me although that really didn’t work very well of me I remember

2:29:20 one person that years ago after I dealt with the first half of my abuse the

2:29:28 ritual side mainly and we were supposedly was taking me out to do know this before I was married and and we’re

2:29:35 sitting down looking at artwork and suddenly he leaned forward to me and said Beelzebub Lord of the Flies like

2:29:41 out of the blue and that would normally be a trigger but it had already been broken and I just turned around and said what the hell is that got to do with the

2:29:48 price of fish so what you find is once you’ve completely integrated you notice

2:29:53 when you’re getting these random people who are involved in Luciferian ritual abuse or in the system and they come up

2:30:00 to you and they’ll randomly say things on the street to you to to trigger you they’ll use program trigger words all

2:30:06 that van you up or there’ll be you know some sort of like flashing of lights in your house and all this sort of stuff

2:30:12 you know they’ll get to your fuse box and and and turn your lights on and off and that that’s how victims are

2:30:19 triggered and you will no longer react to that if you’ve been integrated properly you might still be a little bit

2:30:25 triggered by seeing things that are ah you know reminiscent of your abuse but it’s there’s no comparison I mean when I

2:30:32 was extremely vulnerable in the 18 months that the portal to my past was open when I was triggered I could end up

2:30:40 jumping to the side of the room and in a corner in a fetal position screaming and

2:30:45 in shock so certainly that’s never going to happen again I don’t dissociate anymore

2:30:54 like I did I might just so she ate a little bit with trauma but it’s the normal dissociation that any human being

2:31:01 who’s not been through ritual abuse and mind control would go through so if I had if I was given some little bit some

2:31:06 shocking news like a death of my family or something like that course I’m going to dissociate that’s normal so but I don’t have the the over-the-top

2:31:13 dissociation that I used to have mood swings I don’t I do not shift in between

2:31:22 sort of personality that I used to which manifested as mood swings that just

2:31:28 doesn’t happen and my family have noticed that and my friends you know they they’ve noticed they say it’s just absolutely remarkable how much I’ve I’ve

2:31:36 changed and that’s the best feedback because from you your family and your decent friends so I asked my daughter I

2:31:44 turn around when I was writing the conference slides and I said oh tell me what have you noticed is there any give

2:31:49 me some feedback is there any you know what difference have you noticed and she just went bang bang bang and she she

2:31:54 said Oh big difference between reactions based on personality versus your PTSD symptoms she said she can now see a

2:32:02 direct relationship between cause and effect in terms of you know an incident happens and then my emotional reaction

2:32:09 to it whereas before you know nothing would seemingly happen and I’d go off in my family go what the hell you know they

2:32:15 couldn’t pin her on anything and my daughter noticed my eldest daughter she noticed that I can now concentrate on a

2:32:22 or conversation longer so that’s her objective observation she’s very very clever girl and so she has a very

2:32:30 reliable opinion so I no longer have the confusion I used to have it’s it’s

2:32:38 disappeared and I now suffer a little bit of anxiety and depression but that

2:32:44 is normal stuff and it’s probably to do with hormones I mean I’m one of my 47 and you know approaching menopause and I

2:32:52 think there’s a bit of that going on I can get angry but I no longer see blind

2:32:58 rage and I don’t overreact anymore I just don’t compare to what I used to and well there’s just no come it’s like

2:33:04 chalk and cheese now OCD tendencies you get these in high IQ people anyway because they tend to be perfectionist

2:33:11 I don’t have that drive anymore to be

2:33:18 obsessive-compulsive it’s just not there anymore so I’m parently a bit better to

2:33:24 live with says my family my husband might argue against that sometimes but I

2:33:30 think that’s just a normal wife that

2:33:35 he’s living with now to emphasize the main advantage of integration is there

2:33:42 is no mysterious source of nervous system pain I don’t just immediately feel

2:33:49 overwhelmed with pain and I don’t sometimes feel Terry you know and don’t know why all of those

2:33:56 feelings that you have usually a link to unprocessed memories of seeing terrible things happen to

2:34:03 other children that you care about and other people so I don’t have that now

2:34:09 and it it’s difficult to put into words how things are now it’s like it’s like a

2:34:19 veil has been lifted and I see things in

2:34:24 in color now instead of before it was black and white or it was an

2:34:29 oversaturation of multiple colors it’s hard to describe it before things were

2:34:35 felt a bit too only now everything’s quite moderate and I’m I’m not in so much conflict with

2:34:43 people I used somebody once said to me they’re about 17 they’re a lot like me and needs to specialize in teaching

2:34:50 gifted kids or whatever she says are now in my old age I see things in more in shades of gray –great where I wasn’t I

2:34:57 was always black and white and I say that I said I that’ll never happen with

2:35:02 me I’m very black and white well I have to admit she was right I’m seeing things

2:35:07 more in shades of grey I can compromise a little bit more but

2:35:13 I’m not the type who will compromise when it comes to ethical matters I’ll die fighting for what I believe is right

2:35:20 and you’ll never change me on that now I

2:35:28 don’t know if these are actually a list of cons but some things that need to be acknowledged look integration reduces but does not

2:35:35 completely eliminate PTSD symptoms that’s what I’ve discovered I was hoping that all my PTSD census will disappear

2:35:41 well they don’t especially if you continue to be victimized as they do

2:35:47 you’re not going to react the same way as you used to be for and go into a complete state of lockdown trauma but

2:35:55 you’re still going to still able to be triggered and and you will still have that that mild PTSD response the client

2:36:05 may still process new memories post integration I’m still processing memories I’m still putting you know this these people had access to me from age 1

2:36:14 to what was it I was 16 turning 17 you

2:36:21 know that’s a lot of years of information to process and that’s why the therapist says as well suppose fiona

2:36:26 you’ve just a lots happened and you’ve got a lot to get through but when I process things now

2:36:32 it certainly is nothing like what it was before it lacks the intensity of before

2:36:38 it’s similar but it’s like a like a shadow of what I went through especially

2:36:43 during those 18 months of processing the the military abuse a negative is I can’t dissociate from

2:36:50 normal pain anymore like I said when I was going through childbirth it would have been quite

2:36:55 handy to have not integrated before as much as I had because I used to be able

2:37:01 to completely dissociate from pain I did not feel pain as a teenager just didn’t

2:37:07 feel it physical pain I could be beaten up by my father but I did never I never

2:37:12 felt felt it there was nothing what I’ve discovered is life doesn’t suddenly

2:37:19 become perfect after integration I used to always I can remember in my teen

2:37:25 years I used to know I used to think I just I see that light at the end of the tunnel I just have to get through to the

2:37:31 end of the tunnel and everything would be fine well it wasn’t fine life still can be crack stuff still happens and you still

2:37:39 feel negative feelings and as my friend dr. Anna Michaelson said rich lab usin

2:37:45 mind control is a life sentence Vienna and that’s the hard reality I still have

2:37:51 people involved in the child abuse Network who harass the hell out of me

2:37:57 and still pursue me and target me and you know I have to live with that on a

2:38:04 daily basis and of course they would very much like access to my children because my children are what you call

2:38:11 bloodline candidates so those are the cons for further information about me

2:38:20 you can go to pedophiles down under calm Fiona Burnett org I also have facebook

2:38:26 pages under the same names I trust the work of fret spring Meyer

2:38:31 and Carol ruts theirs are the only writings that are consistent with my

2:38:36 experience of ritual abuse and mind control all others I find a usually

2:38:42 fakes now I’m providing a list of services that you should avoid and this

2:38:50 is based on personal experience or contact with other victims who have

2:38:56 accessed these services so to be in with in the USA in Canada definitely

2:39:03 avoid dr. Preston Bailey I know somebody who attended a conference of his ten years ago and he was mocking victims at

2:39:12 that conference that he was talking at and he was seen with a MK ULTRA sex

2:39:18 slave basically dripping off his arm and the

2:39:23 person I know took a bit of a car ride with him and she and her girlfriend were

2:39:29 terrified for their lives in the presence of this monster so don’t believe anything he says and they’re

2:39:36 some of his people that he’s counseling I see that one in particular is genuine

2:39:42 has not made much progress in this person’s care and another one’s a fake so avoid them Colin Ross I have nothing

2:39:51 good to say that Colin Ross I had a therapist come up to me at the conference I presented it which turned

2:39:58 out to be sponsored by Ross and she said that basically a client of hers was bumped off at Colin Ross’s Institute

2:40:04 further quite a number of incidents have

2:40:10 occurred at the Institute with people going in non suicidal and committing suicide and that Institute now the whole

2:40:17 point of a Institute like that is to stop someone from committing suicide because it’s obvious that clients will

2:40:24 go into a suicidal phase when they’re triggered by memories that are coming up

2:40:30 but that should be managed and people should be supervised that’s the whole point of being institutionalized Alison

2:40:37 Miller I’m not impressed she supervised dat particular case that I helped out with in Alaska and I really from

2:40:46 firsthand contact with that person realized that they were giving me

2:40:52 misinformation so Rusty’s dad this comes from people who have worked with him

2:40:58 although what he presents on his websites etc is sound apparently what

2:41:05 happens when you enter into a counseling situation is completely different to what you experience when you just listen

2:41:12 to this person’s teachings which you know sound reasonable in Australia avoid

2:41:17 like the plague anybody associated upon university I made the mistake of going to a psychologist who had graduated from

2:41:25 bond and she wrote a disgusting report for victim services New South Wales saying that I murdered my grandfather I

2:41:34 was actually in Brisbane when my step grandfather was suicided by the

2:41:39 pedophile ring he’s autopsy report noted suicide by hanging and she was taken

2:41:46 before a board an ethical board and forced to change that report basically I

2:41:52 graduated from gone genie and I can say that it’s infiltrated by Luciferian pedophiles and people who like to cover

2:41:59 up pedophilia and lecturers who rush and publish pro pedophilia material and

2:42:04 teach pro Elizabeth Loftus materials in the classrooms I would not trust anybody

2:42:11 who has relied solely upon their education from Bond University and it’s

2:42:16 up to the discretion of the individual are David and Ray Lane Thompson from Watchtower ministries South Australia

2:42:22 David Thompson is ex-military he I had

2:42:28 personal experience with him I was pressured to go down intend sessions

2:42:34 with him and on about the third day he became verbally abusive are sexually

2:42:39 inappropriate questions and raised his voice at me and was basically I think trying to trigger me to dissociate he

2:42:47 was an absolute disgrace and a monster and he should be shut down and I only

2:42:52 just escaped from there narrowly I think Braveheart is fake

2:42:57 don’t go there I’ve had a lot of personal association with come birth brave hearts and contact through my

2:43:02 sister-in-law who associated with them and they basically are information

2:43:09 gatherers and they say that they help survivors but they don’t have had multiple people victims contact me

2:43:16 complaining about brave hearts and how they are treated through them and if you look at

2:43:23 Sara Monaghan who won a case against the hey Dad pedophile on set her biography will

2:43:31 document her grievance with Brave Hearts Brave Hearts basically sabotage her case and nearly shut it down

2:43:38 and that’s what they tend to do I found I don’t trust Liz Molinar and he’ll for

2:43:43 life I don’t trust them because of victim testimony to me and because Liz

2:43:49 Malina was actually the person who worked with a lot of my perpetrators in

2:43:54 the theater scene and she was very close with Anthony Kidman and Nicole Kidman

2:44:00 and that group and how she and and in the theater that John bel one of my perpetrators associated with so how on

2:44:07 earth she wouldn’t have known that everybody was being abused through that scene is beyond me blue not foundation

2:44:15 formally asked was very poorly managed in the past and I don’t think anything

2:44:22 has changed so I wouldn’t trust anyone in that organization with my information

2:44:27 so I there’s a lot of others I wouldn’t trust either I have question marks over

2:44:33 any Australian hospital that says they are specialized in di D such as Belmont

2:44:40 in Brisbane and various organizations I wouldn’t go near a psychiatric facility

2:44:47 in Australia I usually find they’re infiltrated by perpetrators may not be

2:44:52 all the staff in the organisation but only takes one to get to you and trigger you if you haven’t been integrated and

2:44:58 that’s a big advantage of integration as you know not so at risk of being

2:45:04 accessed by these perpetrators so that’s

2:45:11 it that’s the basic content of my Seattle conference with some changes and

2:45:18 some enlightenment that I’ve had since being over there some conclusions

2:45:25 analysis of my experience look I hope

2:45:32 that that helps victims to at least identify

2:45:37 whether or not the therapist therewith has potential for helping them to heal I

2:45:45 hope it by watching what I’ve been through other victims

2:45:51 can identify with at least something in what I experienced and I hope it helped

2:45:58 steer them in the right direction towards healing